Disclaimer: I don't own Crossing Jordan. No matter how much I wish I do!

She rolled over and slapped her alarm clock as hard as she could. 5:32. The alarm clock never lied.

Groaning, Jordan pulled herself out of bed. There wasn't much else for her to do, anyway. Work was all she had left now. She went into the bathroom, got into her shower. She took ice cold showers now. They woke her up from the dream she wished she was living.

Stepping out of the bathroom, now dressed and ready to go, she sighed and looked at the calendar. A piece of computer paper was taped next to it, with tally marks. Grabbing a pencil, Jordan marked off one more day. 1700 days. Four years, seven months since she'd seen him last.

She didn't ever want to think about Woody again. But she forced herself to, every day, to remind herself of guys who couldn't be trusted. There was no way she was letting herself go through that again. No way in hell was she going to let herself find a guy that she would trust. They'd all managed to hurt her in some way or another. Him? He'd left.

Yeah, that's right. He'd left. One night, not long after the night at Lucy Carver Inn, he'd dropped by. Somehow they'd ended up in bed. Funny, really. The same could have been said about the night at the inn. Somehow. Guys always get what they want. She'd woken up the next morning, happy, content, finally knowing after four years, the inevitable had happened. Full of hope for what would happen next. She'd smiled and turned over, expecting to find Woody there, with her. Instead, she found a cold bedspread. She'd jumped out of bed. No clothes left. No note. Nothing to indicate he'd ever been there.

She was a wreck. Rushed out to the morgue. To the precinct. Although, she already knew somehow. Every day after that was a painful reminder. Every case she worked, knowing Woody should've been there with her. His boss told her he'd turned in his letter of resignation a week before he'd left. Men were all the same. She was with them. Then she wasn't. Woody had been the last example of that. Why did she bother, really?

Somehow she'd gotten through that nightmare. The morgue staff helped her, and she got back on her feet again. Never lost her impulse; hit the ground running on cases that needed to be solved. But everybody could sense something had gone out of her. She just wasn't the old Jordan anymore. The new Jordan never let herself get attached to anybody. She'd perfected her poker face, which became her permanent facial expression. Nothing bothered her anymore. Gory bodies, sick killers, everything that passed through the morgue—the face never changed. She never cried, and rarely smiled. She wasn't interested in going anywhere after work anymore; she usually went straight home. Her colleagues were worried about her, and she knew it. But she'd rather know that they worried than let them in.

Jordan left her apartment, headed to the morgue. Grabbed a cup of coffee on her way in, and settled into her office. On her desk where three new cases waiting for her. And… a vase. Flowers? A bouquet of lilies sat on her desk. She grabbed the index card attached with a rubber band. In an instant, she recognized the loopy handwriting. Her heart sank.

Jordan,

Long time, no see! We have to talk. Meet me across the street at the coffee shop at 1:00? Missed you! See ya at 1.

-Woody

No. How could he do that? He wasn't allowed to do that. He wasn't allowed to waltz back into her life and expect her to be waiting with open arms. Who did he think he was? Locking her office door, she took the lilies and dumped them in the wastebasket. She threw the vase against the wall, glass and water spraying everywhere. She banged on her desk, threw pens at the wall, ripped paper. Finally, Jordan slumped down on her desk in exhaustion and let the tears take over.

In the hall, Nigel, Lily, Bug, and Garrett stood outside her door, listening to the sobs worriedly. She'd locked herself inside for over an hour and half now, and the banging and shattering had stopped. Garrett looked at his three companions.

"Guess she found out, hm?"

"No kidding," said Lily.

"I've got a master key. Should I use it?"

"No." said Lily firmly.

"Why not?" asked Nigel incredulously. "She obviously needs help in there."

"Well, Nige, I wouldn't expect you to understand. Jordan just needs to be left alone right now. Or at least have a girl in there with her…" She held out her hand expectantly to Garrett.

The three guys exchanged looks, then Garrett sighed. Lily gingerly took the key, and waved the three men away. Knocking quietly, she called, "Jordan?" and opened the door. The office was completely demolished. Glass and water were all over the floor, files and papers, pen marks all over the walls, and some blood were the glass must have hit Jordan. Jordan was at her desk, and didn't even look up when Lily approached.

"Jordan? You okay?"

"Does it look like I'm okay?"

"Sorry. C'mere…"

Lily hugged her friend, then grabbed some tissues and band-aids.

"Let's get you cleaned up. This isn't the end of the world, you know…"

"That bastard. Read this damn note. 'Missed ya'? 'Long time no see'? It's like he never left. It's like he can't even comprehend I hate his guts. Does he even know what he did? What the hell's wrong with him?"

Reading the note, Lily sighed. "You should go, Jordan. You need to go talk to him. You guys need to talk."

"Oh, I'm going all right. But not to talk. Thanks, Lily. Where are Garrett and Bug and Nige?"

"Oh, just probably huddled next to the doorknob, listening to our conversation."

Jordan opened the door. The three men tumbled inside in a heap, suddenly throwing excuses in the air.

"Autopsy in exam 1…"

"This case needs…"

"A report for you…?"

Jordan looked at the three guys, who got up. She smiled a rare, small smile.

"Thanks, you guys. I don't know what I would have done after… well, if you guys weren't there for me." Giving them all a hug, she headed toward the elevator.

"Garrett, sorry, but I've got an appointment at 1 that I would just hate to miss." She jabbed at the down key on the elevator and stomped inside.

The four figures looked after her retreating figure. Garrett frowned.

"I should be worried, shouldn't I?... I mean for Woody…"

"Yeah, right. He deserves whatever he's got coming to him, Garrett. And you know it." said Lily.

This is like, my first real fanfiction. Please review and tell me what you think. I'm not sure where this is going AT ALL. I just had a few thoughts and I threw it onto paper. I'm not sure if I'm going to finish this, but please tell me what you think so far! Constructive criticism is going to be sooo appreciated! Thanks 