The Difference One Choice Makes
1st September 1974
James dropped into one of the seats in the compartment that he and Sirius had chosen on the Hogwarts Express while waiting for their friends Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew to join them.
Sirius who sat down opposite him noticed the slightly weary look on James's face.
"What's eating you up Prongs… you've been acting weird this past month" said Sirius.
"Getting flirted with and then kissed by your Cousin will do that" thought James not daring to voice his thoughts to his best friend.
Ever since that night in July, James had done his best to avoid Narcissa having no clue what she would say or do to him after what had happened between the two.
Of course, the fact that she lived at Potter Grove and hardly ever left her Great Aunt and Uncle's house helped matters. Even James was relieved when she visited Hogsmeade for her school supplies on a different day to him and Sirius which helped him avoid her even more.
Glancing at Sirius he sighed.
"With everything going on right now Padfoot, with this Dark Lord slowly gaining followers day by day… it's just getting to me you know?" said James flatly.
Sirius kept his questioning gaze on James for a moment.
"Yeah, I've been thinking about that too… I wouldn't be surprised if some of my family started following him, they spend most of their time preaching about how anyone who isn't a Pureblood is an enemy to society" said Sirius darkly.
The two friends continued their slightly dark conversation for a few minutes before their compartment door opened once again and Peter Pettigrew walked in followed by Remus Lupin.
Peter Pettigrew, nicknamed "Wormtail" by his friends owing to his rat annimagus form was a short, overweight 16-year-old with medium length strawberry blonde hair and he was dressed in a second-hand wool jumper and battered jeans indicating that he came from an impoverished background.
The 16-year-old, tall thin Remus Lupin nicknamed "Moony" owing to his condition as a full werewolf had short brown hair and looked exhausted and slightly pale as he made his way into the compartment no doubt due to the full moon from two nights ago.
"Rough night Moony?" said Sirius.
Remus nodded before collapsing in the seat beside James.
"Full moon?" said Peter curiously as he sat down next to Sirius.
"No Wormtail, he just got some really rough sex" said Sirius sarcastically.
"Of course it's because of the full moon" said James.
Peter flushed in embarrassment.
After nearly ten minutes the four boys stood up against the compartment window shouting and waving their goodbyes to their families as the Hogwarts Express pulled out of the station.
Fifteen minutes later…
"How did you guys do on your Owls then, I passed most of mine no problem" said Sirius lazily.
When he and James had received their Owl results Sirius found that he had achieved Outstanding grades for Defence Against the Dark Arts, Charms, Transfiguration and Care Of Magical Creatures along with Exceeds Expectations in Potions, Herbology and Astronomy. The only failed grades he achieved were Poor grades in History Of Magic and Muggle Studies.
"I still don't get why you even took Muggle Studies in the first place" said Remus.
Sirius chuckled.
"I took it because I knew it would piss my Parents off, and it worked… at least now I can drop it" said Sirius.
James himself had received similar grades to Sirius achieving Outstanding grades in DADA, Charms, Transfiguration, Potions and Ancient Runes as well as Exceeds Expectations in Herbology, Astronomy and COMC while like Sirius he failed History Of Magic.
"I'll be happy to see the back of Binns… I swear he doesn't even know that he's been dead for about 200 years" said James with a snort.
"And he kept calling you Perkins" said Peter with a nervous laugh.
James glared at him while Sirius and Remus cracked up with laughter.
"Wormtail just did you there Prongs" said Remus amusedly.
James let out a small chuckle.
"Yeah yeah, how did you do then Moony, passed all of them I assume?" said James in a slightly bored tone.
Remus opened his new A Guide to Advanced Transfiguration textbook by Emeric Switch.
"Of course, I did spend most of my time studying" said Remus.
Being the smartest of the four Remus had achieved Outstanding's in DADA, Charms, Potions, Transfiguration, Herbology, Ancient Runes and Arithmancy along with Exceeds Expectations in Astronomy and History Of Magic.
"How on earth did you pass History Of Magic, I didn't even bother trying" said Sirius in a bored tone.
Remus lowered his book.
"Studying, the same way I passed all of my other exams" said Remus flatly.
After hearing his friends sharing their Owl results most of which were top grades Peter nervously shrunk in his seat.
Noticing this Sirius turned to him.
"Come on then Wormtail" said Sirius.
Peter turned to him with a nervous look on his face.
"What?" said Peter nervously.
"Out with it Wormy, you've heard what grades all of us got, what did you get?" said James.
Peter gulped nervously.
Telling his friends that he had achieved Exceeds Expectations in DADA, Charms, Herbology and COMC had caused them to give him some kind words of congratulations while the Acceptable grades he had achieved in Transfiguration and Astronomy got words of "unlucky" from Remus and James as Acceptable grades were not sufficient enough for you to take the subject at NEWT level.
"What did you get for the rest of them?" said James.
Peter swallowed his nerves and told them that he failed History Of Magic, Potions and Divination with a mixture of Poor and Dreadful grades which earned chuckles and jokes from his three friends before he shrunk back into his seat in embarrassment.
As the three friends laughed and made jokes at Peter's expense James glanced at the compartment door for a few moments.
Only when a certain someone walked past the compartment door James wished that he had chosen another time to look at the compartment door window.
After noticing his eyes on her through the glass Naricssa stopped for a moment and blew him a kiss before she carried on walking which caused James to quickly turn away from her.
Unbeknownst to James, Remus had watched the scene unfold and was now looking at his best friend understanding what might have had James feeling on edge.
Three hours later…
Remus now dressed in his school uniform complete with his Prefect badge walked back into his compartment after completing his patrol of the train. His three friends were just lounging around the compartment with looks of boredom on their faces while several cards from an unfinished game of Exploding Snap laid on the compartment seat between James and Sirius.
Not long after Remus sat down Sirius whistled in boredom looking up at the ceiling.
"I'm bored" said Sirius.
"What else is new?" said James sarcastically.
Sirius groaned before standing up.
"Come on… let's go find Snivellus, I've got two dungbombs in my pocket" said Sirius.
"No thanks" said Remus as he opened his copy of Advanced Potion-Making by Liberatus Borage textbook.
"Yeah well, hexing her friends would definitely get her attention, not in a good way though" said Narcissa.
James shook himself from his thoughts.
"Not today Padfoot" said James in a bored tone.
Sirius looked at him in slight shock before shrugging his shoulders.
"Fine… I'll pelt him with one on your behalf Prongs" said Sirius.
James sent him a small nod before turning to look out of the compartment window at the countryside.
"I'll go with you Padfoot" said Peter with a hint of giddiness in his voice.
Sirius glanced at Peter before gesturing his head towards the compartment door.
"Come on then Wormtail… Snivellus has a date with a dungbomb, the first date he's ever had probably" said Sirius.
Peter chuckled at his friend's joke before standing up and following him out of the door closing it behind them.
After several seconds of silence, Remus put his book down and turned his gaze on James who was still looking out of the window clearly thinking about something.
"What's really going on Prongs?" said Remus testily.
James turned to him with a questioning gaze.
"What are you talking about Moony?" said James flatly.
"I mean what's really going on with you, and we both know it's something more than what's going on in the Wizarding World right now" said Remus.
James sighed and went back to looking out of the window.
"Be honest with me mate… do you think I've blown any chance I could ever have with Lily Evans?" said James.
Remus straightened up as James turned to face him.
"Honestly?" said Remus leaning forwards slightly.
James nodded.
Remus sighed.
"Lily might be a forgiving person Prongs… and I know you don't like Snape but she's been his friend since before they came to Hogwarts, do you really think she'd date a guy who belittles and bullies one of her oldest friends for fun?" said Remus wearily not wanting to hurt his friend more than was necessary.
James sighed in defeat.
"So I've blown any chance I might have had with her then?" said James in a defeated voice.
Remus took a deep breath.
"I don't know Prongs, perhaps if you can show her that you've changed and maybe grown up a bit she might change her mind about you" said Remus sincerely.
He saw James breath a sigh of relief at his words.
"What's brought all this on mate?" said Remus testily.
James took a deep breath.
"I just kept thinking back to what happened after our Charms Owl… about what she said to me, about how she'd never go out with me" said James flatly.
Remus composed himself.
"Prongs… does this have anything to do with Narcissa Black?" said Remus bracing himself for James to have an angry reaction.
James froze up for a moment before a slightly bitter look appeared on his face.
"What are you talking about?" said James bitterly.
Remus leaned forwards with his elbows on his knees.
"I saw what happened earlier Prongs… you saw her walk past our compartment and she blew you a kiss… did something happen between you two?" said Remus warily.
James scowled before looking out of the window.
After several seconds of silence, James took a deep breath but kept his gaze out of the window.
"Can you keep a secret Moony?" said James flatly.
Remus nodded.
"Prongs… I kept a very big secret from you guys for years" said Remus seriously.
James turned back to him.
"You have to promise me not to mention this to Wormtail or Padfoot… especially Padfoot" said James seriously.
"I promise" said Remus giving his friend his full confidence.
James sighed.
"Narcissa… she… she left home, during the summer… she went to live with her Aunt Dorea… Dorea and Charlus Potter, you met them last summer remember" said James.
Remus nodded for James to continue.
"Well… I went to visit them one night while she was there, and we talked" said James warily.
"I see" said Remus.
"It was just talking at first… before I knew it she was flirting with me, and saying I should forget about Lily since she's turned me down too many times to ever say yes to me" said James.
Remus felt a little stunned at what he was hearing.
"Is that why you asked me about Lily?" said Remus.
"Yes… I mean… no… well, not entirely… something else happened" said James flatly.
Remus leaned back.
"You kissed her didn't you?" said Remus testily.
James stiffened up.
"She kissed me Moony, there's a difference" said James edgily.
Remus sighed.
"So what's the problem with that?" said Remus.
"What do you mean what's wrong with that?" snapped James.
Remus sighed.
"It sounds like she likes you" said Remus.
James scowled.
"We haven't talked to each other since that night, and today was the first time I've seen her since then" said James icily.
Remus frowned.
"So… what are you going to do now?" said Remus warily not wanting to set James off again.
James sighed.
"Nothing, I don't like her the way she likes me" said James flatly.
Remus nodded in understanding.
"You still like Lily?" said Remus softly.
James nodded and turned away from him.
"Remember what we promised… you can't tell anyone, especially Padfoot, he'd go nuts if he found out what happened" said James seriously.
"I remember… and your secret is safe with me" said Remus.
James gratefully nodded to his friend silently thanking him for keeping his secret.
Five hours later…
James saw the 16-year-old long red-haired, green-eyed Lily Evans walk into the Common Room followed by her 16-year-old brown-haired best friend Mary Macdonald with the two returning from the welcoming feast.
Standing up from his place on one of the armchairs by the fireplace James made his way over to Lily who sighed as he approached her.
"Potter" said Lily flatly.
"Lily… can I have a word?" said James.
Lily frowned.
"Look… if this is another attempt to ask me out just save your breath, the answer is no" said Lily icily but quiet enough so they were not overheard by the other people in the Common Room.
James was taken aback slightly as Mary Macdonald walked over to where their friends and fellow Gryffindor's Marlene Mckinnon, Dorcas Meadowes and Leah Brocklehurst were sat at one of the tables near the dormitory staircases.
"How… how was your summer?" said James testily.
Lily raised her eyebrow at him in surprise.
"Good… why?" said Lily warily.
"Just asking" said James politely.
Lily placed her hands on her hips.
"What are you up to now Potter?" said Lily sternly.
"What do you mean?" said James warily.
Lily sent him a small glare.
"We've never had a conversation last this long without you asking me out, so what are you playing at?" said Lily sternly.
James was taken aback.
"Can't we just have a normal conversation for once?" said James.
"We'll have a normal conversation… when you finally leave Severus alone" said Lily fiercely.
"I haven't done anything to Snivellus, not this time anyway" said James lazily.
He mentally cursed himself for using the nickname he had for Snape when he saw Lily get visibly angry.
"You just proved my point Potter… why would I even entertain the thought of dating an arrogant bully like you when you treat my friend like that" said Lily bitterly a little louder than she had expected which drew the attention of some people in the common room.
James recoiled slightly.
"Your friend who fancies you more like" spat James which made Lily recoil in shock.
James sighed as he felt the eyes of nearly everyone in the Common Room on himself and Lily.
"Look… if you didn't want to go out with me, you could have just said instead of making a scene about it Evans" said James bitterly.
He turned around and walked back over to the chair he had previously been occupying.
Lily still in shock jumped slightly when she heard someone else address her from where James had been stood.
"Can we have a word, in private?" said the frosty voice of Sirius.
Lily turned her head to him and nodded.
Still in shock at James's words, Lily followed Sirius back through the entrance out of the Common Room where they came to a halt outside the Fat Lady portrait concealing the entrance.
Once they were alone Sirius turned to face Lily with a frosty look on his face.
"Look Evans… I get that James can be a bit of an airhead and a berk sometimes, I'm just as bad as him… but if you don't want to go out with him, there are better ways to say no than what you just did to him" said Sirius frostily.
Finally composing herself Lily glared at him.
"Better ways to say no… what would you do if the same guy kept asking you out at every turn no matter how many times you said no" said Lily fiercely.
"I wouldn't embarrass them like you just did if that's what you are asking?" said Sirius bitterly.
"Like how you and James make Severus feel humiliated nearly every day?" said Lily with an equally bitter tone.
Sirius snorted.
"Snivelly gives as good as he gets Evans, it's not like he doesn't fight back" said Sirius sarcastically.
Lily suddenly stomped on his foot causing Sirius to shout out in pain.
"Your just as bad as James Black" said Lily angrily.
Sirius winced as his foot went slightly numb.
"I turned James down because I wouldn't even consider going out with someone who treats my friend like mud… the two of you might have forgotten Black, but Severus is a human being and should be treated as such… instead of being pelted with dungbombs for no reason" said Lily fiercely.
Sirius rolled his eyes as Lily referenced him and Peter pelting Snape with two dungbombs on the train earlier.
"That was me not James" said Sirius.
"So he didn't follow you this time, didn't stop you though did he?" said Lily sternly folding her arms.
"We're not exactly joined at the hip Evans" said Sirius in a slightly bored tone.
Lily turned around with the intent in returning to the Common Room.
"You owe James an apology though, no matter how you feel about him he didn't deserve what you did to him, if you wanted to have words like that with him then you should've done it in private" said Sirius.
Lily glanced back at him with a hint of regret in her eyes having not meant for her conversation with James to be overheard by anyone else.
One hour later…
Not long after James had gone to bed he drifted off to sleep without difficulty as he felt exhausted from the last few hours.
He found himself stood in what looked like a dark abandoned classroom with the moonlight shining through the windows bathing the room in a gentle glow.
To his surprise, he saw Lily Evans stood directly across the room from him dressed in her Gryffindor Hogwarts robes. Even more surprising was that she was looking at him with a gentle smile which she never sent his way.
He slowly made his way towards her before she met him halfway as a quiet slow tune could be heard around the room.
"Lily" said James still feeling the disbelief.
Lily's smile just widened as she took hold of his hand and shoulder as the music got slightly louder.
James placed his other hand on her waist before the two began sharing a slow dance perfectly in tune with the music.
They kept their eyes on each other throughout the entire dance which lasted for a few minutes before James finally gave in to his desire and did what he had wanted to do since Third Year.
He slowly leaned down towards her to kiss her while Lily met him halfway. Had he not closed his eyes as he savoured the feeling of kissing his long time crush he would have noticed Lily's striking red hair turning blonde as she gained an inch or two in height with her school robes changing from Gryffindor to Slytherin.
As he opened his eyes they widened in shock as Lily was gone and a smirking Narcissa was stood in her place.
He quickly let go of her but she grabbed two fistfuls of his robes leaning closer to him staring right into his eyes which sent shivers up and down James's spine.
"Don't fight it James, you want me more than you realise" said Narcissa in a flirty voice.
"I don't" said James defiantly trying to move away from her but she showed a surprising amount of strength keeping him close to her.
"Yes you do… you just won't admit it" said Narcissa.
James shook his head causing Narcissa to flash him a smirk.
"I would not be here if you did not want me… you want me just as much as I want you, and you can have me, just say the word and I'll be yours" breathed Narcissa as she leaned up to his ear.
"No… I don't want this" said James.
Narcissa moved away from his ear and pulled him closer to her so that their noses were touching.
"Yes you do… now kiss me James Potter" said Narcissa.
James tried to refuse before Narcissa pressed her lips to his with hunger and passion. James tried to push her away from him but Narcissa's grip was unrelenting as she maintained her dominance over him eventually causing him to surrender to her.
"Had you not wanted this… you would not have surrendered so easily" James heard the voice of Narcissa telling him inside his head as her tongue sought entrance to his mouth.
He told himself that he did not want her and to just push her away but he could not do so.
"You cannot deny that deep down… you want me just as much as I want you" said the voice of Narcissa in his head.
After several seconds Narcissa finally broke their kiss and pushed him away from her.
As he fell away from Narcissa in his dream James sharply woke up with a jolt.
2nd September 1974
"What Newt's will you be taking Mr Potter?" said a stern female voice from behind James who was finishing a piece of toast.
James turned around to see the nearly 42-year-old, no-nonsense brown-haired, Scottish Half-Blood witch who served as Head of Gryffindor House and Transfiguration Professor. As usual, she was dressed in a green robe-like dress and large black witches hat holding onto a stack of parchment timetable sheets and her wand.
James swallowed the rest of his toast.
"DADA, Charms, Transfiguration, Herbology, Potions and Ancient Runes Professor" said James.
Professor Mcgonagall tapped his timetable with her wand before handing it to him.
"Your Potions class will be starting soon" said Mcgonagall.
James nodded before Professor Mcgonagall turned to Sirius, Remus and Peter.
"Mr Lupin?" said Mcgonagall.
"DADA, Charms, Potions, Transfiguration, Herbology, Ancient Runes and Arithmancy" said Remus politely as he sipped from his cup of morning coffee.
After receiving his timetable Professor Mcgonagall handed Sirius his timetable who had taken DADA, Charms, Transfiguration, Herbology and Potions before turning to Peter who looked nervous under her stern gaze.
Peter had chosen to take a measly four subjects in DADA, COMC, Charms and Herbology which disappointed Professor Mcgonagall slightly, chastising him for not trying harder on his Owl's. Once Peter had received his timetable Professor Mcgonagall moved further down the table to continue handing out timetables.
Peter was thankful that he had a free period first while James, Sirius and Remus went off to their Potions class in the dungeons.
5th September 1974
Slinging his Cleansweep Seven broomstick over his shoulder James made his way towards the path leading down towards the school's Quidditch stadium to hold try-outs to fill the remaining spots on his team.
The Gryffindor Quidditch Team Captain and Chaser was already dressed in his red Gryffindor Quidditch robes and leathers with his Quidditch Captain badge attached to the leathers on the left side of his upper torso.
Normally his friends would have accompanied him to watch the try-outs but today they had other things that took up their time. Remus had been swamped by the amount of homework he had already received and was currently holed up in the library working tirelessly to finish it. After the two of them had pelted Snape with dungbombs on the Hogwarts Express Sirius and Peter had been sent to afternoon detention with the school Caretaker Mr Filch cleaning parts of the castle as punishment.
As James made his way closer to the path he heard a familiar voice call out to him which stopped him in his tracks.
"Well well… the whole Quidditch Captain look suits you Potter!"
James slowly glanced over his shoulder to see Narcissa sat on one of the benches near the path dressed in a sleeveless blouse and jeans combination looking at him with a teasing smirk on her face.
He sighed at her latest attempt to catch him when he was alone as his dream from Tuesday night flashed in his head.
"Narcissa" said James politely as she stood up and made her way towards him.
He backed away slightly as she got closer to him with his eyes glanced up and down her body not being able to help himself.
Noticing this Narcissa's smirk widened.
"Do you like it?" said Narcissa teasingly.
James sighed.
"You look nice" said James politely.
Narcissa stretched her arms admiring her outfit.
"Just nice… nothing more?" said Narcissa in a flirty tone of voice.
James rolled his eyes.
"What do you want Narcissa?" said James flatly.
Narcissa moved closer to him placing her hands on his arms and leaning towards him.
"For luck… Captain" said Narcissa in a breathy voice in James's ear that sent shivers up his spine while he remained frozen in place unsure of how to react.
She gave him a lingering kiss on the cheek before letting go of him and taking a step back.
A large part of him just wanted to ignore her hoping that she would just get the message that he was not interested in her and move on to someone else but a smaller part of him enjoyed the attention he was receiving from his best friends Cousin even if he tried to deny it.
"Don't beat Slytherin too badly James… or I'll be disappointed, you wouldn't want that now would you?" said Narcissa teasingly before she walked away from him not even glancing back at him.
James did not move as she disappeared from his view remaining in place for nearly a minute before he finally carried on walking down to the Quidditch stadium.