The next morning Jude expected to either see Joanne happily showing off an engagement ring or a sulky ex-couple avoiding each other. She was hoping desperately for the second scene, but she grew nervous. In fear that she might loose her chances forever, Jude didn't leave her apartment until almost noon. She pulled into G Major's parking lot at twelve-thirty and sat in her car for another five minutes.
"Tommy didn't propose. He doesn't want to get married and him and they are not meant to be." She reassured herself. We are, Jude wanted to say, but she and Tommy and never actually been a "we", so she didn't know.
When Jude entered the building everything seemed to be normal. She didn't see either Tommy or Joanne.
"Hey, Jude!" Georgia appeared next to her and smiled warmly.
"Hey, G." Jude smiled. She missed Georgia a lot since Darius's reign began. Georgia had only been hired back about a year ago, and now she was always busy. The last time she had even seen her was before Tommy arrived.
"So Darius is pleased that you have your Christmas single worked out." Jude could tell that she was excited about something. "And he wants you to make a music video."
"Really?" Jude grinned broadly. "On the Christmas single?"
"He's leaving it up to you, but he wants your choice in two weeks so he can approve the song and start working on the story board." Georgia was sincerely happy for Jude. The girl had gone through a rough period in her life, and hopefully things were clearing up.
"This is amazing, G!" She laughed and gave Georgia a small hug.
"So get deciding." Georgia pushed her shoulder slightly and walked off to do business of who knows what.
Jude's smile stayed on her face all the way until her self-proclaimed studio. When she entered the room it was a sight she never hoped to see again.
"Jude!" Somebody called out to her,but she was already out of the room. Her face burned like the sun and matched her natural hair color.
Jude could hear footsteps following her. She tried to avert attention and went behind a crowd of talking publicists. The only way to go from there was the one place that had always revealed so much emotion- the alley.
It was like a death trap, but Jude darted through the door anyway. She slumped down onto the concrete and felt the midday sun burn her pale scalp. I can't believe it. I just can't believe he actually did it.
"Jude!" A door-closing 'clink!' was heard.
Great, she thought.
Somebody sat down next to her. She didn't have to look to know whom.
"Look, I didn't mean for you to walk in on that. I thought you were staying home today since you weren't in earlier."
"So it's ok to hump your girlfriend in the studio when I'm not here, but it isn't when I am?" Jude spat.
"No, that's not what I meant…"
"You never say what you mean, so why do you just say what you do mean for once, Tommy!" She looked at him with an angry stare. "What happened to 'I don't know what I was thinking bringing her back with me'? Huh?"
He ran a hand through his hair. "Things are complicated."
"You're complicated." Jude couldn't figure him out.
"Just because you don't get it doesn't mean it doesn't make sense." Tommy snapped.
"Just because you think you get it doesn't mean it does!" Jude stood up and made to get away but he snatched her back.
"Look, I can't just end things with her because you want me to."
Jude felt her face flame up. "I never said I wanted you to leave her. You said you wanted to leave her! And you lead me on again. It's like a game for you. Do you enjoy spinning me around in circles?"
Tommy grimaced. "You're overreacting."
Jude frownedat him for what seemed like an hour. "You know what, you're right; you aren't worth a reaction at all."
Tommy was too shocked at her words to grab her as she fled. He was expecting her to bite back, not her giving him thecold shoulder.
Tears were flooding Jude's eyesas she made her was to Studio C. The newbie studio, as everyone called it, was almost always empty. Sometimes people who were new and had never been in the studio before used it. It was more like a storage closet than a studio at all. The soundboard was half broken and there was no soundproofing. Darius hadn't even bothered to fix it up when he took over; he just created a whole new set of studios for newcomers.
She expected the room to be empty, as usual, but when she got there two people were sitting on the ground- one with a guitar and one with a pen and notpad.
"What are you guys doing?"
Kwest and Damien looked up at Jude with small smiles.
"Tommy ditched me for his thing, so Kwest offered to help me with a song." Damien piped and Kwest noddedfor verification.
"Just like him to leave you when you need him for something else." She growled.
In the lighting you couldn't see the red splotches on Jude's face or her puffy eyes, butKwest could tell something was wrong by the tone of her voice.
"Want to get a cup of coffee with me?" Kwest stood up and advanced towards her.
Jude looked down at Damien, who shrugged and began to strum on his guitar. "Sure."
The two walked over to the coffee pot. "So what did he do now?" Kwest examined her torn expression.
Jude bit her lip and tried to stop the waterworks. "He's marrying her."
"No way." Kwest looked at her disbelief. "Is he seriously that stupid?"
Jude collapsed her head into her arms on the kitchenette counter. "I can't believe it. I just can't believe he actually did it." She voiced her first thoughts once she found out to him.
"Where is he?"
She jabbed her thumb towards the door to the alleyway and Kwest was gone.
He strode over to the exit and found his sad excuse for a friend sitting on the ground, staring out into the sky.
"You are the stupidest guy I've ever met." Kwest walked over to him, but he didn't sit down.
"So Jude must have told you?" Tommy didn't look at him.
"Yeah." Kwest looked down at the ground, the sky was too bright for his comfort. "You knew she was waiting for you."
"What else was I supposed to do?"
"I don't know, maybe dump her and go for the girl you really want."
"But I want Joanne." He said miserably.
"Maybe a little bit. But you would have never came back here if you didn't want Jude more."
Tommy stood up. "I can't evenwalkawaynow, I asked her to marry me. What am I supposed to say? 'Sorry, I know I proposed to you last night but I didn't mean it and now I'm taking it back.' That won't work, Kwest."
He shook his head. "You're can't marry girl you don't want to marry."
"But I can't be with a girl who doesn't want to be with me." Tommy threw his head back and groaned. "I really fucked this one up."
"She loves you, man. You just don't know how much." Kwest patted Tommy on the shoulder.
"So what am I supposed to do now?"
"Try being honest for once." He shrugged. "Just try it."
Tommy glared at Kwest as he walked away.
"By the way, Tom, this still doesn't mean I'm not mad at you." Kwestshouted as heleft.
Jude was already back in Studio C with Damien. She told him what Tommy had said,how he led her on, and then what she saw earlier that day. She shed a few tears and thanked him for listening to her.
"It's alright." He smiled at her reassuringly. He fidgeted slightly, not quite sure if he was qualified to hug her or not.
"You know you're the first person I've been able to talk to in a while." Jude sighed. "It's nice, you know?"
Damien nodded and smiled down on her still. She was the only person that didn't talk down on him because he was new to G Major. He was living in a hotel room until the company found him a permanent place to stay.
Jude wiped away her last tears and locked eyes with him. He was good looking, and she hadn't even noticed, being so wrapped up in Tommy. She liked him and he just listened to her like she was the only important thing in the world. Before did something like leaning in and kissing him, she reminded herself that it would only make things worse. Right now I need someone to talk to about my love issues, not create more love issues with. Jude settled with pulling him into a soft embrace. "Thank you."
Just then Kwest returned. "Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt." He muttered.
Jude shook her head and pulled away. "You didn't interrupt anything."
"I finished my lyrics." Damien said brightly.
He's so optimistic, Jude laughed inwardly, I need more people like him in my life.
"Good cause your producer won't be coming back any time soon." Kwest glanced at Jude for a split second, but he didn't let her notice.
"Can we record acoustic? I think it's meant to be an acoustic song."
"Yeah, lets go to Studio A."
The trio made their wayto the top-notch studio. Not surprisingly, Joanne was still seated in the plush engineer's seat.
"Hey," Joanne said complacently. Shewas so oblivious to Thomas Quincy and his heartache games. A small smile danced upon her face and Jude eyed the rock on her finger with a frown. "Do you know where Tommy is?"
At that moment Jude was so purely filled anger, sadness, and hatred that she almost burst. She didn't feel animosity towards Joanne any more; she couldn't. Joanne was oblivious to what Tommy meant to her and what she meant to Tommy. She was oblivious of how they felt about each other. Most of all she was oblivious to theunfaithful thoughts Tommy got whenever he was around Jude.
"He's gone home, I think." Kwest said solemnly.
"Oh," Joanne looked disappointed for a moment, "I guess I better go home too, then, and see if he's alright." She glanced at Jude a moment in confusion and then left with a wave goodbye.
"Err," Kwest closed the door behind her, "Except he won't be there."
"Why'd you say that then?" Jude asked suspiciously.
Kwest shrugged. "I figured he could use some alone time."
Damien found his guitar and settled behind the glass. "Chords or lyrics first?"
"Chords." Kwest spoke into the microphone. He turned off the communication option and hung his headphones around his neck. With a thumbs-up, Kwest started recording and Damien started playing. Jude snatched the other set of headphones and listened. It was very intricate and fast-paced. There were lots of little snags and Damien's hands were moving so incredibly fastthat Jude wondered how he managed.
"That's… amazing." She whispered without intention for anyone to hear.
Kwest turned and faced her. "Impressed?"
Jude blushed and nodded. Kwest chuckled slightly.
"I doubt I'll even have to have him do two takes of the music. Darius wouldn't have hired him if he didn't play so well." Kwest had his eyebrows raised as he lay out the facts for Jude.
"Seriously?"
"Yeah, he says that Damien sounds too common. He could pick up any guy off the street that sounded like him, but his playing won him over."
Jude frowned. She thought Damien was a great artist, even if media had one over his genre. "That sucks…"
"Yeah, not to mention his last album sort of flopped."
She looked confused. "But I thought he was popular in the States?"
"His first album went double platinum." Kwest said like it was nothing.
Jude frowned and put her headphones back on. When the song was over she took them off and smiled up at Damien and he smiled in return.
"Great, I think that will be perfect. We can do lyrics now. Hold on…" Kwest fidgeted with a few knobs on the soundboard. "When you hear the playback go ahead and sing."
Damien nodded and fumbled to pull a piece of paper out his pocket.
Jude quirked a brow at him. "He doesn't memorize the lyrics?" She asked Kwest.
"Nope. Another flaw in Darius's perfect world; he can't remember lyrics well enough to do a tour." Kwest began the playback.
Jude flinched and replaced the headphones on her delicate ears.
"Breathe in for luck, breathe in so deep
This air is blessed you share with me
This night is wild; so calm and dull
These hearts they race from self-control
Your legs are smooth as they graze mine
We're doing fine,
We're doing nothing at all
My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me
So won't you kill me, so I die happy
My heart is yours to fill or burst
To break or bury or wear as jewelry
Which ever you prefer
The words are hushed lets not get busted
Just lay entwined here, undiscovered
Safe in here from all the stupid questions
"Hey, did you get some?"
Man, that is so dumb
Stay quiet, stay near, stay close they can't hear
So we can get some
My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me
So won't you kill me, so I die happy
My heart is yours to fill or burst
To break or bury or wear as jewelry
Which ever you prefer
Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember
I'll always remember the sound of the stereo
The dim of the soft lights
The scent of your hair that you twirled in your finger
And the time on the clock when we realized it's so late
And this walk that we shared together
The streets were wet and the gate was locked
So I jumped it and I let you in
And you stood at your door with your hands on my waist
And you kissed me like you meant it
And I knew that you meant it
That you meant it
That you meant it
And I knew
That you meant it
That you meant it"
Jude was bopping along to the song. She had managed to temporarily lose her thoughts of Tommy. It felt so good to get lost in the music again.
"That was great!" Jude bounced into the booth and hugged him.
"You really think so?" Damien smiled from ear to ear. His teeth were dull but his eyes lit up the smile completely.
"I really know so." She elbowed him and laughed. "What I didn't know is that you were such a rocking guitar player!"
"Thorough lessons since I was six." He nodded and let his grin fade to a small smile.
"Musical parents?"
"Parents that loved music more than they loved me." Damien was still smiling but Jude could hear the pain.
"Ouch." She whispered.
"So, I'll try and work with it, and tomorrow I'll let you know if it needs work." Kwest now joined the two in the room. He eyed the lingering hands from their hug, but he didn't say anything.
"I guess this is a night, then?" Damien asked unsurely.
"Yeah, go on home." Kwest laughed at Damien who waved and shot out of sight.
"Is there anything for me to do?" Jude walked over to Kwest and leaned against the wall.
"Well, you could always go see if Tommy is still sitting in the alleyway."
"Not a chance." She growled.
Kwest shrugged; it was worth a try. "Alright. Get on home now, ya here?"
Jude laughed and hugged him. "Bye." She kissed his cheek and left for a long night of songwriting. There was a video to be made.
a/n: This is a long authors note, but you should read anyways :)
So I want you guys to help me decide:
Should the video be of a song that has appeared in this, a song that is by somebody else, or should I write something up?
I can't decide / Opinions please.
Alsooo. I'll probably be updating every day, maybe even twice a day! But this is only for this week, and maybe not even for all of this week, cause It's spring break and I got sick yesterday :( So I can't go out and do anything and I don't have school.
The song in this chapter is Dashboard Confessionals' Hands Down. I love it and it's pretty popular but more than anything I love the acoustic version. So go out and download it :) I promise it's worth the $1.13 on iTunes.
Reveiws and advice are much appreciated E>