by: anime.addicted.2.ur.love
Chapter Three: My true feelings
when natsume woke up in the hospital, the doctor who has the news about his health, told natsume with a complicated face. that day, natsume knew what was really wrong with him. he knew that he has an illness that cannot be treated by anyone. the illness that he has now was the cause of the bullet that hitted his body. inside those bullet were chemicals and toxins that enables a person to shorten their life.
"does everybody knows this?" said natsume with his head down so that his hair is covering his eyes. "no, natsume. i thought that you would be mad when they keep taking care of you like a baby." said natsume's doctor. "hey, when will i die?" said natsume when the doctor almost left the room. "a month or so..." with that, the doctor left the room leaving natsume all alone.
in a few minutes, his classmates and friends entered the room altogether. mikan and ruka approached to him and said "what did the doctor said, natsume? did he say that you are alright?" "yah, im gonna be fine. he said that i just have worn myself out." said natsume looking at the window. he noticed that his room was full of flowers, chocolates and get-well-soon cards even though he was very rude and cruel to them.
the bell rang and all his friends and classmates left the room except ruka. "mister narumi said that you are excused. i hope you will get well soon natsume. i am so worried about you." said ruka with tears in his eyes. then, ruka left the room leaving natsume all alone in his room. then, in a matter of seconds, he drifted back to sleep.
In his dream...
he was in the hill.
he was with ruka.
they were still kids.
and they are watching their hometown burn into ashes
ruka was crying hard.
"mommy! daddy!" ruka said.
while ruka was crying, natsume said something.
"it...w-was...all...my...f-fault..."
"w-what... are you talking... about, n-natsume"
"i-im really s-sorry, ruka"ruka stopped crying and started to listen what natsume was trying to say
"i was t-the one who caused t-the death of your p-parents... i have t-this power that i can't control... i h-have the p-power to b-burn things"
when natsume said that, ruka saw a fire in natsume's hand
"natsume!your hand is on fire"
"ruka, t-this is my power and this is t-the cause of the death of your p-parents...i h-hope you forgive me"
"oh, natsume... i f-forgive you...just don't l-leave me alone... you a-are the only family i've g-got..."
(end ofdream)
natsume woke up with mikan on his bedside and ruka on the chair sleeping. he realized that someday, he got to tell them about his illness. he knows that it will hurt them, but he just wanted to die. he wanted to die and suffer because he wants to stop hurting people. he wants to stop being cruel and rude to others. he want to repay for all his sins. he wants to live peacefully. he doesn't want to... use hispower...