SN: Hippie, come out and post your chapter already we don't have all day.
Janna: I'm telling you man, he's got a few screws loose.
WH: Indeed I do. *Everyone jumps in shock as I came out of nowhere.*
OM: Where did you come from?
WH: Blame my parents people. Enjoy the episode.
The back door to the doughnut shop opened with a man coming out hauling a large bag filled with something that bore an attractive odor and threw it into the dumpster while whistling. As he turned around to go back inside he noticed Star was sitting not too far away reading 'To Kill A Mocking Bird' while holding onto a leash attached to Cloudy. Star seemed invested in her book while cloudy was humming to himself softly with a tune that sounded familiar for some reason. The man stared at them a minute until Star looked up at him confused prompting the man to shrug and walk back into the shop.
The Pink Panther Theme Song (Original Version) ( watch?v=9OPc7MRm4Y8)
Star took a quick look around to make sure no one was watching her and, upon seeing no one, smiled and put her book away. Taking a strange dancing hop like step she moved over to the dumpsters while licking her lips showing off her long tongue. She pulled Cloudy over one of the Dumpsters and sent a short blast of energy from her wand into the cloud making Marco fall into the dumpster with a soft oof. She stood by the edge of the dumpster waiting while Marco got the bag and climbed back up and jumped into Cloudy who gave off a soft laughter like it tickled. Star then casually leapt onto Cloudy's back and flew Cloudy a short distance away to the edge of the park parking him down and after she leapt out she spoke up.
"We're safe Marco you can come out now." Marco came out of Cloudy carrying the large bag and opened it up smiling.
"When will they learn that they never sell enough doughnuts on Sundays? Doesn't matter though, the more they don't sell the more day old doughnuts for us." Star looked in with big eyes and she practically drooled over the doughnuts. "Thanks for the cover by the way; me, Ferguson, and Oskar can't go near the back of the shop anymore without them calling the cops." Star reached in and pulled out a jelly filled snapping a bit into it before replying. (end music)
"Well all it takes is one bad day and getting caught scavenging doughnuts once in order to make life more difficult. Interesting the types of dates we go on huh?" She swallowed her bite with Marco eating a bit of a chocolate doughnut.
"Well Ferguson and Oskar were out on this one so yeah; it kind of does make it a date. Wouldn't our parents be pissed that we are pulling a Bonnie and Clyde." Star chuckled at that with Marco raising an eyebrow. "You got that reference?" Star nodded and pulled out a long doughnut filled with cream sticking it in her mouth like a cigar.
"Your dad told me about them. If are out like them how about a photo to commemorate it and show off to my mom in the future; she would laugh her ass off." Marco nodded and pulled out his phone giving to Star allowing her to snap a picture of him kissing her cheek while she 'smoked' her doughnut.
A shuffling sound behind them got the two to turn around and see that someone was trying to steal their stolen doughnuts that had been thrown away. The figure appeared to be a woman who was scrawny and dirty with pale skin, turquoise/blue eyes that had bags under them, and long purple hair done up in a sailor Moon style with pigtails hanging to her ankles. Her clothes were dirty and ragged consisting of a purple boot on her left foot, a turquoise skirt, a mostly ripped up turquoise shirt with the image of a cat's head on it, a purple bow on her neck, white shoulder length gloves, and a helmet with a single spike coming out of the top. As they watched she ate one of the doughnuts as if she was starving before noticing them and promptly stuffed two doughnuts in her mouth before picking up their bag.
"Hey, those are our doughnuts Sailor hobo!" Marco leapt at the mystery woman grabbing onto the bag and trying to yank it from her.
"*Grrr* You can't eat them all by yourselves, I was staking out that shop for days!" The woman answered him refusing to let go engaging them in a game of tug-o-war as he replied.
"Well finders keepers, get your own doughnuts!" The two pulled back and forth for a second before Star spoke up.
"Mina Loveberry?" At this the woman froze in shock yelling at the top of her lungs.
"I've been discovered! Evasive maneuvers!" She twirled in a circle ripping the bag of doughnuts open spilling many over the ground before back flipping like she was in a gymnastics tournament. As she did that she scooped up several of the doughnuts and leapt up into a tree before making squirrel noises and nibbling on the doughnuts she had taken. "*squirrel noises* Nothing to see, I am only a squirrel." She continued nibbling while Marco looked at how half the bag had been spilled over the ground before speaking.
"*Sigh* Well at least I saved most of them." He now turned to Star who had an awestruck look on her face as she stared up at the woman. "Why didn't you help me wrestle the doughnuts back, and who is this Mina Loveberry you suddenly spoke about?" Star pointed up to the woman in the tree before replying.
"That's her, Mina Loveberry; one of the greatest warriors Mewni has ever seen!" Marco blinked in confusion looking back and forth between the two. "Or at least I think that's her. Dad said she was struck with a curse by the Shadow Clause and ran off into the woods screaming about becoming queen of the dolphins to save Foriosae from the mud people or something like that." Marco looked up at Mina scratching his chin in thought.
"The greatest warrior Mewni has ever had?" Star shrugged before replying.
"Supposedly. She was once a peasant girl who was one of 100, or maybe 1,000, who were given powers of war by… Solaria the Monster Carver…" Star shuddered at the sound of the queen's name. "… during the Fire and Bone Wars between Mewmans and Monsters centuries ago. These 'Solarian Warriors' however were severely decimated during those wars and when the method for making them was lost somewhere in the book of spells Crescenta the Eager had them train the current elite defensive force, The Guardians of Mewni. Mina supposedly was put into a commanding position of these guys at one point until she 'lost it' during The War of Moonlight Shadow." She looked up at Mina who was now looking through a doughnut like a spyglass. "My parents spoke very highly of her, especially Dad, but I think she's still lost her marbles at this point, perhaps we should just grab the doughnuts we can and … Marco?" She looked around for a second seeing Marco had scooped up the doughnuts that had spilled on the ground and was climbing the tree to get to Mina. "Wha… Marco get down from there, you don't know where she's been!" Marco moved onto the branch Mina was on with Mina suddenly leaping into another tree like a squirrel with Marco following her at first be tree but then by foot. "Marco you're not Alice, don't chase rabbits down rabbit holes… seriously it's like I'm talking to a five year old!" Star went to chase him but stopped before going back to gather up the remaining doughnuts and tied the bag up as best as possible before following them.
Marco moved as fast as he could to follow Mina but she did seem to know exactly what she was doing as she leapt through the trees like a squirrel. Marco however did not let up and continued chasing her until they got out of the trees into the main portion of the park. Mina immediately leapt down from the trees and looked around with a doughnut in mouth before sniffing the air. As Marco got close again Mina made a chittering noise like a squirrel and faced him shaking her rear in the way a squirrel's tail would twitch before he spoke.
"Um… you wouldn't happen to be Mina Loveberry would you? I mean I heard you were her but are you really the greatest warrior Mewni ever had?" Mina stared at him a second before speaking up through the doughnut.
"You caught me; I am the almighty Mina Loveberry that you seem to be seeking. Are you a cop?" She swallowed the doughnut in her mouth before standing up.
"So what are you doing on earth?" Mina stared at him suspiciously as she ate another doughnut before her face went calm and she replied.
"On vacation, doctor's orders. He said I needed a change in scenario and sent me here on vacation. While I was at it my inner soul decided to study these creatures known as humans, and I am not one to deny my inner soul. Interesting creatures really, so different from Mewmans and yet almost the same in others; it's almost like we were built by Gods who were copying each other's homework." She then pushed her face in close to Marco with another suspicious look. "So why are you following me? Do you intend to tell the remnants of those mud-folk that I am here so they can exact their revenge?" Marco shook his head violently before replying.
"Oh nononononono, I just want to train under you." Mina blinked in confusion pulling back as Marco smacked his forehead. "Dangit, I wanted to present it in a better manner but…"
"So you are asking me if I could train you? Me the last and greatest of the Solarian warriors and the entity who trained the Guardians of Mewni themselves, she who took down 50 men in half as many minutes in one battle just on a bet?" Marco looked up as she moved in close again getting a crazed look in her eyes. "And what makes you think you are worthy to learn from me?" Marco rubbed the back of his head as he began talking.
"Well I have a black belt in karate, I beaten down multiple baddies in the past, I've killed several shadows…" At this Mina immediately perked up smiling.
"Oh you killed shadows, without magic and at such a young age?!" She grabbed Marco's hand shaking it up and down violently with a massive smile on her face. "Consider it a done deal Shadow pecker… killer… slaughter… carver…"
"How about slayer?" Mina practically sqeed in joy and hugged Marco tightly making him gag at how she smelled before she pulled back with a serious look on her face.
"But be warned I didn't become the greatest warrior by being half-assed so you are gonna need to push forward everything you got boy. Let's go!" She dragged Marco with her as Star came out of the woods at last seeing them run off before speaking up.
"Seriously what is Marco thinking by getting involved in crazy like that? *groan* Might as well accompany him and make sure he doesn't get hurt by her." She munched on a doughnut as she followed the two to a mud pit.
"Today at the Echo Creek thermal mudpits I will be answering all your questions about mud and what amazing creatures potentially walked through them." A Park Ranger talked to a group of tourists and Mina led Marco who was now running alongside her to the mud pits speaking softly.
"I'm with one of the greatest warriors of Mewni has ever seen and she is training me to be just like her." Marco smiled a mile wide at the thoughts going through his mind. 'So what if Star says she's crazy, half the people from Mewni are crazy far as I can tell. I'm gonna learn all she has to teach me and use it to become a better warrior…' His thoughts were interrupted when Mina led him into the mudpits. "Ah hold on a second… is this the first lesson?" Mina looked towards him with a serious look on her face as she replied.
"Well yes ya ding dong. The first lesson to becoming a good warrior is to empty your mind of all thought, especially when in action." She walked into the mud and pulled some up smoothing it on her cheeks with Marco blinking in confusion before replying.
"So just… don't think?" Mina turned towards him going wide eyed as she replied.
"No thinking, if it helps try just feeling without thought." Marco had doubts but pushed them aside as he smoothed mud over his cheeks and tried just feeling and not thinking; even throwing in some practices he had learned from medita… 'Wait, already?!' He thought in confusion as his mind went blank.
"I… feel it already. While not as effective it's far quicker than meditation!" Mina pushed her finger onto his nose smearing some mud on it before speaking.
"Now we are mud siblings, bound forever by not thinking and rolling in mud." Marco blinked at her weird words and found they strangely made sense.
"You think of me as a sibling already?" Mina giggled before punching his shoulder in a good natured fashion before replying.
"Well of course I do ya dumb dumb, you picked up on not thinking real quick." Mina gasped and turned pointing up. "Where's my camera, where's my telescope, where's my sketching pad; what the hell is that?" She pointed up at a replica of a woolly mammoth that was put into the mud pits as Star called out to them from the side.
"Marco get out of that mud pit and away from the crazy now." Mina climbed onto the mammoth replica and took a heroic pose yelling.
"Ride my great beast; take me to the clouds so I might request the aid of the Astrals in hunting down the mud-folk remnants!" Marco turned up towards Star replying to her.
"Star you yourself said she was one of Mewni's greatest warriors."
"Yeah, and I also said she lost her marbles Marco; that woman's crazy."
"Well half of all the people from your dimension are crazy so I don't see how she's a problem." Star went to answer but words failed her as, when she really thought about it from Marco's perspective, he did have a point. "And even if she is that doesn't mean I can't learn from her." Their conversation was interrupted by Mina who yelled at the mammoth.
"Hello what gives, aren't you gonna move you furry lump?" She kicked the mammoth's head as the Park Ranger called out to her.
"Ma'am, I'm gonna have to ask you to get off our replica and get out of that mud pit." Mina turned towards the ranger and shouted back at him.
"Not until this creature takes me with him." The park Ranger sighed and stepped out into the mud coming after her.
"Alright guess it's gonna be…" He stopped however when he began sinking into the mud. "… well this is a cruel twist of fate indeed." As he sunk the mammoth Mina was on began sinking as well due to the weight she put on it with her yelling out to the world.
"Behold and be saddened by the loss of our stubborn but noble and great beast. Rest well and let the Valkyrie's take you to the hall of the fallen to feast with the ancestors!" A crowd had gathered nearby who were taking pictures of the situation while Star called out to Marco.
"Marco, don't follow the crazy, it is never a good idea. She may be a bad kind of crazy that is too much to handle." As Marco thought about that for a second Mina called out to him.
"Well come on ya slow buttercup, lots of training to do yet." Marco blinked at her words and smiled thinking aloud.
"First lesson, just stop thinking when in the action." He followed Mina with Star face palming in exasperation as she spoke to herself.
"Damnit Marco, and we were having such a fine date before you ran off with that woman." A nearby gasp startled Star making her look at a group of girls nearby who were looking at Star in shock. "Um…" One of them, a sassy black girl, spoke up.
"That boy ran off with that woman while you two were on a date! Oh girl you better drop that crazy fuck boy like a hot coal." The other girls nodded as Star scrambled for words.
"Wha- no he doesn't view her like *groans* you know what just leave me to keep him safe from himself." She sped off in their direction with the other girls giving her looks of pity.
Marco and Mina had moved to an area where there was a playground with kids playing around it. Mina faced Marco with an intense gaze as she spoke.
"Out next lesson is vital to survival in any location if people wish to harm you. We're gonna make some weapons." Mina slammed a fist into her open hand to push her point home. "As I will demonstrate now…" She walked over to a swing set with several kids swinging on it and climbed on top of it. "… you can get yourself a sturdy chain as so." She pulled one of the chains off sending one of the kids flying. "Be resourceful with finding materials and do not pass up anything unless if you find something without a doubt superior. Easy Peezy Taco Breezy. Now make your own weapon." She pointed to the side with Marco moving out talking to himself.
"Ok it's just like arts and crafts except with weapons. Wait is that kid ok?" Marco looked over his shoulder to see the kid crying and running for his mother. "Yep he's gonna be ok. Now focus." As he began looking around Star moved up to a nearby bench and sat down annoyed at the whole experience eating one of her doughnuts.
"Oh hello there." Star looked to the side to see a mother holding a baby smiling at Star while sitting next to her. "You here to watch your family as well?" Star nodded numbly. "Well mine are over there." She pointed towards a full grown man riding a mini tricycle with a girl chasing after him. "I will never get why men do these strange and sometimes stupid things at times. Which ones are yours?" Star sighed and pointed towards Marco, who was on all fours now, and Mina, who was trying to take a kid's bat away.
"Those two, but especially the boy." The woman took one look at them and sighed sympathetically.
"Oh bless your soul girl." Star sighed and ate another doughnut. "You know once they're 18 they're the government's problem." Star sighed again before speaking up.
"Usually Marco is not this bad but he seems to be in an obsessed mode right now and I can't really stop him until he comes to his senses. It annoys me but I love him to much." The woman patted Star's back as Marco continued talking to himself.
"Ok, anything at all can be used. Come on use your resourcefulness Diaz… oh hello." He picked up a random small sickle. "What is this doing just lying arou- oh." Marco picked up a length of string lying around. "Well she did say use anything and-oh a rock." He picked up all the items with an image flashing through his mind. "Oh things are coming together already." He quickly put the items together as best he could and went back up to Mina who had just wrestled the bat away from the kid sending him off crying. "Mina, what did you get?" Mina held up the bat speaking intensely.
"I have a base for a mace, it still needs work but it can work in this state. How about you?" Marco held up his makeshift Kusarigama and waved it around with a smile.
"I got mine here; can you believe someone just left this thing lying around?" He pointed to the sickle end of it with Mina smiling and nodding in approval.
"A good warrior does not question where they get items or how they get them only that they get them. This is a battlefield after all. Oh real quick." She puleld out a random marker and drew a snarling face on the rock. "Now you have psychological warfare as well." She then smiled and rubbed his head affectionately. "You are only a human and yet you pick up things at such a fast pace." Marco smiled at that as Mina continued. "Hmmm, you got some soft and fluffy black hair doggy." Marco's face went deadpan as Mina continued for a second before she pointed onwards. "No time for me to indulge, we've got work to do." She took off with Marco chuckling a little bit as he followed her. Star rolled her eyes at the exchanged as she followed them again.