Her earlier unease with the lack of people had melted into an avoidance of the people who were still around. It was more trouble than it was worth to have to pretend to be the cheery little redhead they all knew. In her solitude she could be as bitter and cynical as she wanted. In fact, she spent large portions of her day making silent jabs at the people around her. Her favorite target was Malfoy, because in her silent avoidance of humankind she always managed to find him. Probably hiding from the world too, because it hates him. Just like me. Hate him that is. Not… Oh never mind. She almost cracked a smile. I can't even properly insult anyone without clarifying, and surely I don't have to clarify my thoughts to myself. If that was the case, however, Ginny seemed to be struggling with her mind, because she often found herself defending her thoughts as if they were spoken without any conviction. It never crossed her mind that perhaps they weren't.
She found that the dark corner of the library was a particularly convenient spot to lounge and impose her cynicism on herself. No one ever made it back here, and she had a clear view between the shelves of the main tables where everyone else sat. They were always smiling and laughing. It made her sick. It would seem that the professors' Great Hall table solution was very effective in bringing everyone closer together to reduce the feeling of loneliness. That is unless you fought the companionship with every fiber of your being, she thought grumpily.
Ginny often sat in this corner mocking them aloud since she knew she wouldn't get the worried looks out of the corner of their eyes that she did when people heard her mumbling to herself down the corridors between classes. She noticed Neville come in and take a seat near Susan who had been diligently working at something for nearly an hour.
"Hi, Susan, umm , can I- that is- may I sit here?" Ginny stumbled in a deep and convincing mockery of Neville's voice as she saw him gesture toward a seat next to her.
"Oh yes, I would love for you to disrupt my precious alone time you great prat," Ginny simpered in a high-pitched imitation of Susan while batting her eyes.
"So how have you been? I haven't seen you in the last twenty minutes and you'd think that being attached at the hip as we are, that would be a long time." Neville grinned sheepishly at Susan.
Susan gestured toward her books. "Can't you see I'm busy you great oaf? I can't snog you in the broom closet now! Besides what would Emily think? I saw you talking to her earlier. She thinks you are just peachy," Ginny mocked, drawing out the word, 'peachy,' far longer than necessary.
"What? I am not allowed to snog everyone at the breakfast table? Since when? I haven't even made it to the second years yet. I just can't be alone, and all of the good ones have gone! Like Lavender and her strange obsession with goggle-eyed Trelawney…" The thought of Neville putting the moves on every girl in school made Ginny crack an uncharacteristic smile. She was somewhat sickened by the fact that he seemed to have a lot more friends than usual. Everyone did. Except her. And Malfoy.
"Well you can't let the second years go unnoticed! They are just dying to get their hands on your manly body. Who wouldn't? I mean you like plants- rarrrrr."
"Everyone wants me. Even Malfoy. He was staring at me today. He probably realized that Ginny won't have any of his attention so he moved on to the second most attractive human in the school. Well besides Filch and Flitwick, because they are just so scrumptious no one could compare." Ginny was giving Neville a low, husky drawl in his apparent attempt to come on to Susan.
"Malfoy wants you? Speak of the Devil!" Susan glanced up surreptitiously and Neville glanced warily at Malfoy as he walked through the door into the library and disappeared to the right. "Well if he does, then I can't pass you up. He only goes for the best of the best. I mean, have you seen his wardrobe? Especially those dragonhide leather pants. I suppose we could go an have illicit relations now. How about the empty classroom on the fourth floor by the portrait of the drunken hippogriff?" Susan moved to gather her books.
Neville looked down at his books and back up to Susan's expectant face regretfully. "Well now after all of that talk about Malfoy and those dragonhide pants I think I favor him over you. Too back he hates everyone including me, and I'll never get a good snog. I'd rather sit here alone and daydream about how much I would love to run my hands through that silky blonde hair and snog him senseless." Ginny cringed a little at the thought of Neville snogging Malfoy senseless before she heard a chuckle.
Ginny's eyes immediately snapped to a pair of silvery-grey eyes belonging to a lean blonde boy leaning comfortably against a bookshelf in the shadows of her nook. She hadn't seen Malfoy come over, and yet here he was chuckling at her little game and looking at her with a little smirk on his face.
"The thought of Neville aching to snog me is a little unpleasant, but if that is the effect that a nice, tight pair of dragonhide pants would have on everyone, then perhaps I should send off for some." Ginny's eyes narrowed, but before she could throw back a scalding comment about his unfailing ego, he continued. "You seem to spend a lot of time thinking about how sexy I am though… And illicit snog sessions in broom closets for that matter." He raised an eyebrow at her.
At a loss for words, Ginny gathered he things and stormed out of her quiet, dark corner, which she felt had been rudely intruded upon. She made her way up to her room mumbling about how it was impolite to intrude upon other people's study, especially when he had been raised in such a proper upper-class household.
More than anything, however, Ginny was disturbed. In those few moments with Malfoy, Ginny had seen more life in his eyes than she had seen in a long time. He was playing with her, not mean-spiritedly, but as if they had a little joke. She shook her head. It was all too bizarre. He stares at her and now jokes with her?
"It's because I am so good-looking," she said aloud and smiled. "He can't get enough of that fiery little mute who refuses to give him the time of day because she avoids all people like the plague." At this, her smile vanished and she sighed. It was true, of course. She avoided meals because of the cozy seating arrangement. So does Malfoy. At the thought that they had anything in common she shivered a little.
When she reached her room and sat down on her bed, she felt the usual discomfort that came along with the silence and empty beds. She drew the curtains around herself and sat surrounded by red fabric. Red always reminded her of the war. Maybe this is not what I need. She lay down and closed her eyes, but the strange interaction in the library kept swimming before her eyes. Malfoy had looked almost- attractive? Eww! What is wrong with me? This solitude has gone on long enough. There is no way that I will sink so low as to think that, whether or not I have anyone to talk to.
She ripped her curtains open and spun her legs off of the bed. I'll write a letter, I think. She moved toward her trunk and pulled out some parchment and a quill before sitting cross-legged near the window with her quill poised.
Dear- But she couldn't think of anyone to write to. Not Harry, Ron or Hermione. Not her mum or dad or her brothers. I could write to… Luna? Yeah that would go well. Dear Luna, Sorry I am a prat. I know I spent the last week avoiding you, but it's not because you smell, just because I think that you are unworthy of my companionship. But Ginny found that it wasn't the others who she found unworthy. It was herself, and that was what hurt. Her best friends left her. She wasn't good enough to go along. Her boyfriend broke up with her, probably because he thought she was too weak to handle anything. Shows what he knows! I am… And Ginny spent the next hour thinking of all of the reasons why she was better than them and that it was their own stupid fault for leaving her behind. Hearten by this, she looked back down at her parchment and began her letter without really paying any attention to who she addressed it to since she had no intention of actually sending it.
Dear Malfoy, This week has been complete torture. The classes are…A full roll of parchment later, Ginny felt significantly better and crawled into bed thinking of how much lighter she felt after getting all of that weight off of her chest. She thought of how she had detailed all of the stories she made up from her corner of the library about Neville's new sex-god character, Madam Pince's trysts with Flitwick, and Luna's hushed conversation with Colin about the truth that Mrs. Norris was really Filch's lover and he had to disguise her as a cat when his mother came to collect his laundry one morning, but she had dropped the basket on his foot and he had tragically lost his magical powers and she was forever trapped in the body of a cat. It wasn't until she was half asleep that she realized to whom she had addressed the letter. She flew out of her bed, grabbed her wand and quickly set fire to the letter, before settling into her first restful night's sleep all week.