To Rook: ) Glad to know that you're still reading! ))) huggles her solitary reader
To anyone who wants to know, my SPM results were really wonderful! Better than I expected.
I'm nearing the end of this fic, this will probably be the last or second last chapter.. ) I actually have written and completed the epilogue..(it was done a year ago I think). well, enjoy.
Chapter 11 – Separation
After what seemed like an eternity, the sobbing subsided, and each had time to gather their separate thoughts. Hela had bade farewell to Hakkai, hugging him tightly, tears spilling out from her eyes once more, before leaving. He wasn't sure if he would ever see her again. As suddenly as they had appeared, the sisters left, and Hakkai and Yaone were alone once more.
The next part of their journey seemed almost like a dream to Hakkai. It had an ethereal, unreal quality to it, and like all dreams, it would end soon, and he would wake up, and this would be lost to him forever. These heavy, nagging thoughts weighed him down with every step that he took, and soon, he could bear it no longer.
"Yaone…" he began, unsure of what to say. He stopped walking, and Yaone halted too.
He gripped both of her arms tightly, and turned her towards him. "You know and I know…" He couldn't speak, as his emotions slowly overwhelmed him.
She moved forward and hugged him tightly, but her eyes were dry. This moment was too precious, too potent, for anything like tears. In her heart she knew, that this…this was farewell. No matter where they separated, even if they continued walking on together, this would be where their hearts and souls were cleft apart. It would end here.
It was no longer something to be denied. He loved her, and she loved him, but in their circumstances, love was not something viable or feasible.
"We are enemies…" she said, her tears flowing. "For as long as Sanzo seeks what he seeks, and for as long as Kougaji seeks what he seeks, you and I will be enemies. We may put aside our differences for a while, but it cannot last."
"We can go away…" he said, but even before those words had left his mouth, he knew that it was impossible.
"We can never be together…" She said this softly, as a statement, and her voice was steady. Inside, inside, she was breaking up and every word tore at her heart, but outwardly, she seemed calm. Only Hakkai could feel her slight trembling, and he knew how much effort it took for her to say those words.
He gathered her closer to him, wishing and wishing that they could remain like this, but he knew it was not to be.
"I have loved but two women in my life, and I am to lose both?" he said, his tone, bitter as it ever could be.
Yaone could not suppress her sobs at his words.
"This journey has to end, we always knew that it would. You have your responsibilities, and I have mine…" Behind his eye piece, he could feel his injured eye tearing, and a tear soon made its track down his face, soon joined by its mate from his other, normal eye.
"Why?" Her voice was broken now, and she only could hang on weakly onto the tall youkai.
He could not answer her, for his mind to screamed why. Why was the woman he loved, someone he knew would be the perfect match for him, forever out of his reach? It was too cruel, too painful, too…
"If we do meet again, we can let nothing show…"
"Our comrades will guess…"
"As long as it remains unspoken, it will not become an issue…" It pained him to speak of it like this, to speak or even think of their future meetings, when both could not be distracted by this.
"We cannot let our feelings jeopardise any of our missions. You know that, and so do I. After this, we have to bury it deep down where it will not affect us…"
Suddenly, she stopped. She could speak no more, and somehow, words were already meaningless. They both knew what they had to do, they both knew what was in store.
She reached out and touched his face with one of her hands, and she felt the slight warmth and dampness of his tears on her fingers.
Maybe in the next life, or the next…she would meet him again, and they could be happy together, unburdened by what they had now…
"In the next life, or the next, or the next," he said gently, somehow echoing her thoughts. He leant down and placed a gentle kiss on her lips, a light brush that she barely felt, but sent electrifying tingles through her body nevertheless.
This man…in such a short while, on their journey, they had been through so much together… she had almost lost him and she would lose him again now. The tall man, with beautiful eyes that you could drown yourself in, his quiet yet passionate personality that was the perfect match for hers… his gentle sense of humour, and something in him that called out inexplicably to her… She would have to let go of all of this.
He did not want to leave her, ever, for she was his sanity. He knew he would never rampage like an insane demon ever again, for his memory of Yaone would hold him back, his…angel. The open wound in his heart caused by Kanan's death has finally been healed… but now another new wound would open, and it would grow with every day of their separation, and it would burn and throb for the rest of his existence in this lifetime.
They did start moving again eventually, and they walked as if alone, each taking no notice of the other, swamped over by what each was feeling, and when their paths separated, they did not even look back, and no words were exchanged, for there was no need.
Each carried a memory in their hearts, a memory that would never dim or fade with the passing of years, a memory that would be in the only thing that would keep them going, no matter what would happen to them…a memory made beautiful by love, for all the brevity of the experience.
AN: It was short I know, but I don't have the heart to make it too long and drawn out. I'm putting up the epilogue as well as I want this to end today, for if I delay it out for too long, I'm not sure if I'll have the heart to post that last chapter. )