WH: *Comes in through the window ala Kim Possible style looking around silently* Ok that took longer then expected, maybe I should call in some help to deal with reality again before it becomes too much to deal with. Regardless... *reaches into his shirt and pulls out a file*
Janna: *turns the light on startling the Hippie* So you got the goods.
WH: Please don't do that, I might strike you next time that happens.
Janna: *shrugs nonchalantly* Whatever man. You got the goods?
WH: *SMiles as he reveals a folder with 'Daron's explanation for Starco' on it* Let's take a looksie. *Opens up with the two looking in to see these words.
I had originally planned for Starco to happen since the beginning but I wanted it to be the climax because I thought just showing them together would have been boring.
Janna: *Looks up with a face of absolute disappointment written all over it* The fans are right, you are a better writer then she is.
WH: You know what... I'm actually gonna agree with you on this one.
OM and SN: *Gasps in the background*
WH: That's right I said it, at least for the romance aspect. I put Star and Marco together, is my story boring? No because I actually know how to write this shit! *fumes silently with Janna turnign towards the camera*
Janna: This is real people, look it up. Enjoy the episode folks.
"How can you have nothing Oliver, you are the best person to find these things out?" Oliver shook his head at Toffee's words as he replied.
"Conventional spy systems don't work here because there is simply nothing TOO infiltrate and we have found no spies from their side to act as double agents. And even if we did find any there is no guarantee that they will come over to our side as most of them have proven they would rather die than give info from the few warriors we have captured." Toffee nodded as he replied.
"Fair enough, then how about conventional scouting?" Oliver shook his head as he replied in turn.
"No tracks are found going to or from the attack sites leaving us nowhere to follow to. And none of the area scouting we have done has unearthed any information of where they could be hiding. Whoever is leading them is covering their tracks with expertise." Toffee nodded and looked out the window of his private office speaking the words on both of their minds.
"It's clear 20 years of experience have led to conventional scouting being ineffective just like with most Monster groups back when Mewni tried to hunt them down. As our conventional methods are not working we need someone who is an expert in a field of 'unconventional' tactics to simply provide information. And for once… I have no idea who we should turn too." Oliver gave a surprised noise as Toffee turned to look at him. "Oh come on even I am not that good. It's not like the best man is going to just walk through the…" A knock sounded at the door to his study with Toffee pausing. "… could it be… no it's too easy…" He and Oliver looked at each other with neutral expressions before Toffee made a decision. "*sigh* Come in." Buff Frog stepped into the room saluting Toffee before speaking.
"Your Majesty I have the reports for today's evaluations for the squires of Mewni and potential recruits for the Royal guard. Will you need anything else for the day?" Toffee and Oliver looked at each other with intrigued looks before Oliver spoke up.
"Yes actually, how would you gather intel on a group that conventional spying and scouting methods did not work on?" Buff Frog blinked in confusion for a second before replying.
"I would use wilderness experts to track groups back to source of where…" Toffee cut Buff Frog off.
"If you couldn't track them at all." Buff Frog rubbed in chin in thought for a second before answering.
"I would set up ambush at likely raiding site not to protect but to just observe and see where they move back too. Then I would send out lots of scouts and follow up on areas where scouts don't return from with wilderness experts who know how to hide as well as any gruella fighter." Toffee rubbed his chin in thought for a second before speaking to Oliver.
"By chance, were there areas you didn't get info on simply because the scouts did not return?" Oliver hesitated before nodding and began explaining.
"There were a few areas, one inparticular that more than half of the scouts did not return from." Buff Frog spoke up at this.
"Um something I should know about your majesty?" Toffee nodded and began explaining.
"Are you aware of the increased threat the Forest Barbarians have posed recently?" Buff Frog nodded. "We have been trying to figure out on how to simply collect information on their current movements and have not had much luck. Our conventional systems are not working, would you care to oversee the operations of gathering intelligence?" Buff Frog thought for a second before replying.
"I am no pencil pusher so management would be ill suited for me. I am however a good field agent; I will gladly investigate the areas myself." Both Toffee and Oliver blinked in shock as Toffee replied.
"Buff Frog, are you sure about doing this yourself?" Oliver added onto those words.
"It has been a long time since you led the southern raiders against Mewman knights and lords, not since the War of Moonlight Shadow." Buff Frog puffed out his chest as he replied.
"I am simply volunteering for what I do best your majesty and comrade Oliver. I can help train field spies for duty and tell you secrets of the trade in tracking down rebels but I do not think we have time for that at moment if problem is as bad as you think it is." Oliver glanced at Toffee as Toffee thought about it for a moment before responding.
"And you are sure you are the best one for the job?" Toffee's tone was neutral but Buff Frog could detect the hint of worry in Toffee's voice.
"My friend and comrade Toffee, I do believe I am the best one for the task despite the risk to myself. We all must be willing to give it our all if success is to be achieved despite any chance of harm or life loss. I am older yes but I am also wiser and smarter as well and my strength has not declined in the slightest. And I have powerful motivation to both go out there and to return alive; my own family's well-being." Buff Frog paused to take a deep breath. "I must help you as best I can to insure a good future for my children and you know I will come back to insure that my children will not be orphans." Toffee stared at Buff Frog long and hard before finally nodding in agreement and speaking.
"Very well, you will pick which people will accompany you if any and have them prepped in three days' time. Oliver will give you what information he has available of said area and what little we do know about these raiders."
Buff Frog looked through the branches of the tree he was hiding in using as much gut feeling as sight to detect if anyone was hiding out in the woods. Having survived being hunted by Mewmans for years before joining up with Moon and hunting Johansen warriors after the war 'ended' he had developed a sixth sense when it came to hiding and fighting in the forests of Mewni. And as of right now while he didn't see anything off he felt like some of the plants were in places they shouldn't be right now and the forest was quieter than it should have been. He made note of these things and moved through the trees as best he could to not alert anything of what exactly he was. Despite what many people think it is in fact impossible to move silently through the woods no matter how slow you go. However the forest makes its own sounds so yours could be swallowed up in the cacophony of noise and, if you were experienced enough, you could even disguise your noises to sound like something else was in place of you. Buff Frog managed to move through the trees, a surprisingly difficult task even with his ability to jump, and made it to a 'safe' area where he met up with a small group of Monsters and Mewmans who he had selected to help him out in scouting the terrain.
"So, what did you find comrades?" Buff Frog spoke to the group with each one giving their own report.
"Nothing to the creek."
"The willow grove is predictably empty."
"I spotted some markings indicating drakes were nearby at the columbine grove."
"Some signs of ghillie suits around the three boulders, did not investigate further."
"A tree mounted post with 'nothing' on it near the big blue tree."
"Nothing by the marshland." Buff Frog nodded and took all their information into account pulling out a map of the area, not of high quality but good enough, and marked down what they saw where they saw it. After a few minutes of this the reports finally wrapped up with Buff Frog noticing their sightings created a 'curve' like it was part of a circle. He showed the map to everyone before speaking.
"We are in fact dealing with something out here, and whatever this is is trying to hide with great effect. You lot will try to circle around to the left, you lot to the right." He pointed to two distinct groups among his comrades. "Meet up here to exchange information and send off to headquarters." He pointed to spot not far from a distinctively shaped rock, but not on it as he would have set an ambush on it to trap scouts if he was in charge given how easily it could be a rendezvous point. "I will scout out point ahead and send rat if anything is off to inform you lot." Everyone nodded as Buff Frog handed off their current information to one of their rats which scampered off into the undergrowth.
The Rats of Mewni were originally an isolationist lot being one of the intelligent animal races, right alongside the pigeons, keeping apart from Mewmans and Monsters. However Moon became their friend and ally after sparing their leader when The Shadow Clause forced them to attack the castle back before The War of Moonlight Shadow. Now they lived as citizens of Mewni with their own reservation that held a separate town that was completely self-governed aside from some edicts from Queen Moon. They worked in many aspects of Mewni life but their most valued role were as spies, scouts, and messengers due to their ability to sneak and blend in as ordinary animals. Currently one was hiding on each individual per Buff Frog's request incase if things went south so information could be delivered while he himself had two others on him.
Nodding to each other the groups split up with Buff Frog moving quickly through the trees careful to not conceal his movements as well as he could have. He hoped that by doing this he could see just how attentive the sentries were and to find out what protective measures they had in place especially when it came to a potential meet-up point. If he was in charge he would not immediately attack any perceived scouts, that would only alert the others, but ambush them at where he thought the scouts would gather. 'So much detail work, and many nobles say this is easy sneaking around enemy.' Buff Frog thought to himself with a smile as he made it to the oddly shaped rock. He looked out carefully trying to see if there was anyone around or signs of anyone before taking out his two rats and setting them on a branch, with the rats cracking their backs after being cooped up for so long. After letting them adjust he leaned down to their ears and spoke quietly but did not whisper, that carried noise farther then talkgn quietly.
"Alright comrades, watch and see if anything happens to me. If something does go to clearing and set up warning sign for others. Da?" The rats nodded with Buff Frog moving through the branches to get a better look at the clearing.
He needed a better viewing point so he moved towards a nice look out branch to take a look around, prominent but hidden behind leaves. As he went to test out the branch however his instincts told him something was off as branches like this were uncommon in nature. He stared at the trunk and felt it over as best he could trying to see if he could pick out any signs of cutting or paint as he tested the branch. Little did he know that he had made a terrible mistake at trying to do two things at once dropping his guard considerably. As he did this elaborate act of testing the branch with one leg while standing on the other and feeling over the smooth trunk with both hands a sharp pain erupted from his ankle like something had struck it. Naturally he slipped landing on the branch which collapsed under his weight due to a precut section sending him falling through the branches. He tried grabbing for something and did find a rope but hanging onto it only caused him to swing right into a net that closed up tight. He muttered a quick "Nu der'mo (well shit)" as the net fell from the tree crashing to the ground knocking the wind out of him as he berated himself from forgetting to maintain three points of contact with the tree at all times. He looked up and around him seeing three cloaked figures emerge from the surrounding brush, two humanoid shaped figures and a small one that seemed to be floating off the ground. One of the figures spoke up with an almost doll like feminine voice that he was pretty sure came from the small floating figure.
"Well well, and we were wondering when would be the best time to take the fight to Moon." The small figure pulled down the hood to reveal a white cat's head with a blue diamond in the forehead. "Yet here is her captain of the guard wrapped up like a present." Buff Frog looked up into the creature's one icy blue eye and one blind white eye with a lightning scar running through it speaking out of reflex.
"Baby?" Baby chuckled as held out her paw reveal the two rats he had put out to run, both gagged and tied up, as she replied.
"Lost something have we? Meow." At that Buff Frog felt a blow to the back of his head before blackness consumed him.
Baby led the group bearing Buff Frog past the sentries and several of the now dead scouts as they got to a rock. Baby's gem glowed making the rock levitate allowing her small group to carry Buff Frog down into their base with a sentry outside tapping their cloak's clasp making the rock levitate back down to it's sitting position. This did not go unnoticed by a figure sitting in a tree observing all this behind what appeared to be a Kabuki mask shaped to look like a fox's. The figure nodded at this and slipped down the tree silently and moved across the ground like a ghost, impossibly silent, past two sentries it had knocked unconscious and picked up one of their ghillie suits covering itself with it. Moving to where the sentries directly guarding the entrance was it gave a signal with its hands prompting a chirp to come from them which it replied with a loon's call; or an equivalent of it. Settling down with the others it waited for the guards to change shifts and for the door to opened for it.
Buff Frog opened his eyes blearily blinking out the gunk in them as best he could and feeling a distinct throbbing in his head. 'Well, might have a concussion when this is over, at best.' He thought to himself as he knew he was captured by the Forest Barbarians, and by Baby no less. He felt a slight patting on his right cheek before his head was pulled up greeting his still blurred vision to a rather large and beefy man with long white hair and a beard bearing an eye patch over his left eye. The man smiled at him and spoke up.
"Well you finally joined us Froggy. For a minute there I thought I would have to wake you up myself." He pushed Buff Frog back into the dirt floor taking a few steps back. "He's awake Baby, although not too with it at the moment." Buff Frog looked around noticing he was in a small dirt room with only this figure and Baby within it as Baby spoke up.
"Well that doesn't matter Dumnorix, we don't need much out of him right now." Buff Frog tried sitting up but found he was properly hog tied with a rope all around him making movement difficult. "Don't bother struggling, even if you got out of the rope you're in an enemy hideout and in no fighting shape. There's no escape this day." Buff Frog actually managed to right himself and glared at the two entities as best he could before speaking.
"Well does not matter, I will tell you nothing like your spies tell us nothing." The two figures chuckled with Dumnorix replying.
"How arrogant of you to compare yourself to a Mewman who has not forgotten their heritage Buff Frog. You forget your own cowardly and monstrous heritage." Buff Frog spat back at him quickly.
"You mean the one you've adopted for yourself?" The two figures only chuckled at his retort with Baby shooting out a beam of light from her crystal fusing his mouth shut before replying.
"Don't interrupt us, it's very rude. We have ways of making you talk whether you want to or not; so we will just see how strong that so called sense of loyalty you have to the Monster Whore lasts before you abandon it. But for now just enjoy the accommodations while they last, we will be moving tomorrow to a better location to hold a proper interrogation. Buuuuuut I can make things more 'comfortable' for you if you let us know how many were with you spying on us." She undid the sealing with Buff Frog replying.
"Eat me bitch." He then spat into Baby's good eye with Dumnorix chuckling a little bit before punching Buff Frog to the ground again before speaking.
"Well he's stupid but he has the spirit. Enjoy your defiance while it lasts, it's not going to last long when we're done with you." The two walked out with Baby growling at Buff Frog before leaving and closing the door behind her. Buff Frog sighed before speaking to himself.
"Well you're in deep shit now, and all because you forgot how to climb a tree."
The boulder lifted up with the figures standing guard under the now moonlit sky moved into the hideout silently. The replacements had come out five minutes before the previous ones had to sneak back in to prevent log jamming and potentially leaving the entrance open for too long. Of course that was inconsequential as the figures moved into the hideout with two of them bumping into each other with one being knocked against the wall and taking a knee. The one who wasn't shock it's head and helped the one who was knocked down speaking up.
"Ok you need to right yourself, we can't be taking no naps with the Queen's men getting smart all of a sudden." The figure nodded looking down as if embarrassed and moved to the rear with the other two chuckling. "You two be quite, I guarantee one of you two will do something similar eventually; and you again." He pointed to one of them with all of them casting their heads down. After a minute or so the got to a main room and took off their suits. "Well that was an eventful day, but no time to rest. We have new assignments to tear down this hideout and move now that we've been discovered." The two that followed him nodded… wait. "Say where is your friend?" One of the figures shrugged before replying.
"Maybe taking a breather, not sure." The lead figure groaned and shook his head before speaking.
"Well no matter, we'll dredge them up eventually. Get moving and see to Baby's commands." They saluted and left with the leader looking up the entrance tunnel. "Alright you have five minutes, but no longer." He turned his back leaning against a wall to take a breather himself, it was actually not easy being a guard and concealing yourself like that, not noticing a small figure slip silently behind him.
The figure shot a small needle at him through a blow dart reed which he scratched at idly with grumbled annoyance about ticks. The figure leaned down looking at the floor as if tracking something before moving silently through one of the tunnels as the man gave an idle yawn. Moving silently through the tunnels at first it's going was easy actually getting through one of rooms before it encountered a party coming it's direction. With smooth tunnel walls there was nothing to hide behind so it drew a pair of tools that it used to latch onto the ceiling letting the duo who rounded a corner pass underneath it. Assured they were gone it fell to the ground unnaturally silent and moved through the tunnels continuing its tracking. It made good progress again until it encountered a room where figures were moving equipment with purpose, not rushing but with purpose. The figure put on its ghillie suit again and moved into the room and picked up one of the items to move it to a small hand cart. After a minute of this it worked its way across the room, offering a hand silently wherever needed before it slipped away down the next tunnel leaving one of the warriors to speculate.
"Who was that, and why were they wearing their ghillie suit down here?" The figure then shrugged and helped finish up the packing and moved along.
The small figure silently moved with a bit more purpose now knowing for sure it had a time limit hearing the warriors talk amongst themselves of moving shop before dawn. It continued like this for several more minutes of dodging another moving group or two before finally getting close to its target. Pausing before a sharp corner it took out a mirror and used it to look around the corner seeing that there were two guards standing in front of a door. The fact they had put a door with a lock in here meant something important was behind it and it was fairly sure it knew what it was. Donning the ghillie suit again it moved around the corner announcing its presence in carefully noisy footsteps like an ordinary walker would have. Predictably the two guards stiffened up but then let their guard down when they saw a ghillie suit clad figure move around the corner moving up to them with one speaking up.
"So we're finally ready to move the prisoner, a little bit sooner than I had anticipated honestly." The second guard nodded with the figure reaching into its pocket as if to get out keys. "Oh don't bother we have… wait only we and Baby have keys and she wouldn't…" He didn't finish his sentence as the figure pulled out a black egg leaving them looking confused. "…" The figure then crushed the egg by slamming it's palms together in a theatrical fashion. "…okayyyyy…" It then flung the glass powder hidden in the hollowed out eggshell at the two unprepared guards blinding them.
They immediately dropped their weapons clutching their eyes with muffled curses as the figure attacked them drawing a pair of weapons.
Buff Frog sat in the room trying to get comfortable while muttering songs to himself, an odd thing to do but he didn't know what else to do. There was nothing to help him cut the ropes, he could barely stand, had a splitting headache, couldn't get the door open unless if he freed himself, and he was fairly certain he could not find his way out of the hideout. Nto to mention all of the Forest Barbarians that would immediately come down on him if he broke out.
"Stoy, kak derevo, a ne kak kamen'. Kamen' krepok, no derevo khorosho izgibayetsya ... (Stand like wood and not like stone, Stone is strong but wood bends well...)"
"So we're finally ready to move the prisoner, a little bit sooner than I had anticipated honestly." Buff Frog sighed as he knew he wasn't going home anytime soon. "Oh don't bother we have… wait only we and Baby have keys and she wouldn't…" Buff Frog immediately got into a kneeling position as best he could upon hearing those words knowing what was about to happen next; he didn't know know but his instincts told him to be ready especially when he heard the sound of an eggshell crack. "…okayyyyy…" Then the sounds of muffled curses and metal against flesh sounded from outside lasting only a few seconds before the jangling of keys could be heard.
After a few seconds the door opened revealing two guards down for the count, dead or unconscious it didn't matter, with another figure standing at the door dropping the keys. It was a short petite figure wearing close fitting garments that looked to have been made out of grecko chameleon skin designed to fade into the background. The only noticeable features on the androgynous figure was a red and black Kabuki mask made to look like a fox's face and a pair of brass colored weapons in it's hands. Buff Frog smiled at it and got up baring himself to it and speaking to it.
"About time you got here. We must be quick; they will be here to pick me up soon." It nodded silently and moved its brass weapons to reveal that they trench knives with brass knuckles that it used to cut Buff Frog free. Shaking off the rope the figure handed him a small stoppered gourd which Buff Frog took and only hesitated a second before drinking. "If you wanted me dead you would leave me here." He recognized the taste of spicy-wort, something Monster Druids brewed to heighten ones sense before battle; it was also becoming popular as an 'energy drink' of sorts. "Vy znayete vykhod otsyuda? (You know way out of here?)" The figure nodded letting Buff Frog know it understood native Monster tongue. "Togda vpered. (Then let's go)" It nodded and the two moved with Buff Frog quickly picking up a weapon from one of the fallen guards.
OM... or OP... it's Omnitraxus Prime: And now, since the Hippie is too upset to do so, time for some more...
Audience: Guest Reviews!
Sugar: I liked that joke myself, one of the better ones in that chapter. Also who wouldn't be scared of Toffee coming in with a complete disaster in the room? Even Moon might be nervous. ;)
Shiranai Atsune: Thank you, and sorry it's taking so long to write. :3
The Book of Eli: You were wondering, well here is your first taste.
Anonymous: with pleasure.
The Opininator: Well season three/four is going to be very different not because I didn't think it was optimal but because I planned something else out entirely. But please do send me ideas, I take them all.