Different
I have always been a Romantic at heart. I adored love stories. Not those lusty novels, but the tales of true love conquering all. You know the ones. So I guess I've always imagined love being like that. Swoon worthy Romance, as some might call it. And that's how it was, at first. Shy, coy, timid romance. Every touch, every compliment, every look brought a blush and a shy smile. And then things became more comfortable, almost routine, at times. Not that those things didn't mean anything anymore. It was just that that rush of blood and those nervous butterflies were less common. But they were replaced with a sense a security. A sense of…home.
It was kind of like moving. Leaving the home you grew up in behind for a new house, much different than the old. Things are so different at first, but then you realize that this new house is your home now. And you feel safe. That is what love is like for me.
I'd always thought that being in love made everything but loving that person seem less important. Like you only had eyes for that person and nothing else mattered. But then I realized…loving someone makes everything all the more important. Every choice you make effects the one you love, so you are so much more careful. Careful. You care and appreciate everything more. That is what love is like for me.
I remember I would always get so mad at the hero or heroine of a story if they didn't end up with the one they loved. I could never understand how they could go on living if the one they loved chose another or if they chose them, but died before they could be together. But now I understand. Love is selfless.
Love is so different than I ever imagined. Sometimes I wonder if it really is love, because I sometimes find myself comparing it to the standards of that little girl so long ago. I wonder why I don't always feel that giddy, bubbly feeling inside as he looks at me and smiles that I know is only for me. Something has been growing in those moments though. The excitement subsides and there is that calm feeling: That feeling of home.
Love is so different than I ever imagined. But I wouldn't have it any other way.
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