Mikau: Hello! My sickness is getting worse, but I'm still hanging on. My school has its Fall Ball dance tonight, and I have tickets and a date, so I'm going to try and go. I already have my dress and shoes and stuff, but it's 1:34 PM, and I haven't gotten out of bed today yet. I'm getting as much rest as possible before I go to the dance at 8. This chapter is one of the longer ones full of Ivy flashbacks and Thorn commentary. It's not one of my best chapters, but it's still okay. I hope you all like it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Shaman King.
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Dear Diary
"MASTER HAO!" Hane's loud yapping startled Hana awake. He jumped, pushing me to the floor in the process. It was a rather rude awakening, but as my cousin smiled cutely at me, begging for forgiveness, I couldn't help but not hold a grudge. I smiled back at him as he helped me to my feet. "Sorry Thorn."
I nodded and made my way to my father's side. I accidentally tripped over Hane as he rushed about the room at light-speed, and fell onto where Mari and Macchi were still asleep on the floor. The Hanagumi's delighted squeals woke my sister who bounced off of Akira and rushed to the foot of Hao's bed. All hell broke loose; everyone started asking questions of Hao. There was yelling, screaming, and all other sorts of excitement as we all barged my father with questions and accusations. Everyone crowded around the bed, and it was hard to remain standing with all the pushing and shoving, so I leaned forward and placed one hand on the bed to keep myself from falling over.
I had the strangest feeling that someone was staring at me, but when I looked around all I could see was Akira with a star-struck look on his face, and drool coming out of the corner of his mouth. There was no way that that look was meant for me. He had to have been gaping at my sister; boys never gave me that look.
Hana leaned over and whispered something in Akira's ear. Akira mumbled something back, but then turned scarlet as Hana dragged him out of the room.
I noticed Hoshi glaring at Akira as Hana whisked his friend away, but I thought nothing of it. My sister made her way over to me, and pulled me out of the mass of bodies, trying to speak with my father. She adjusted my pajama top so that it covered me more and whispered in my ear: "You do know that that bastard was looking down your top, don't you?"
My cheeks suddenly turned a bright ruby color. "What! Are you sure!" Hoshi gave me 'the look', and my face flushed even more profusely. "That son of a gun! What a perverted little--! Oh, I don't know enough bad words to describe him!" I sat back down in the armchair I had been sleeping in and pouted. "What gives him the right!" My outburst went unnoticed by others in the room since the main focus was centered on my father.
"He doesn't have any right… Is he always like that?" My elder sister took the seat next to me.
"No, he's usually quiet and moody. Whenever he talks to me he never has anything nice to say. I thought it was just because that I was new to the group and maybe that he didn't do well with getting to know new people, but now I'm having second thoughts. Maybe he really is just that mean. It's not like I did anything to him."
"Here." Hoshi picked up a black boot from the floor and held it out to me. "Have you read it yet?"
"No." I answered truthfully, taking the key from around my neck and opening up the bottom of the shoe.
"Well then, you, like, should." Hoshi took the first page and forced it into my hands. It didn't look like she was giving me a choice.
I scanned the page quickly and set it down. "There is no way that I'm going to have anything to do with that woman."
"She's not, like, a woman, Thorn. She's like, your mother, so get over yourself, and like get reading." My twin forced the page back into my hands, and I was forced to read about some girl named Judo Tao and her many adventures and tragedies.
"I thought this was about Ivy; who's Judo?" I looked questioningly at my sister.
"Keep reading." She coaxed.
Judo had led such an interesting life full of a mixture of joy and sadness. She had had it hard growing up. She was a Chinese Allure Shaman, very similar to me. She too had had problems controlling her powers, and many had been killed in the process of trying to restrain her. I was lucky that my powers hadn't taken over and killed anyone I cared about yet. Little Judo really reached out and touched me. She seemed so determined to fit in and make friends, but her family, the Taos, discouraged any contact at all with the outside world. It really did pain me to read her words of suffering, but there were light, fun moments too. Judo was quite mature for her age, but that didn't stop her from playing childish jokes. Reading her hysterical exploits of pulling pranks on her brother Ren was quite enjoyable.
I cried at one point—actually, several, but now that I look back upon it, this one passage from her diary really stood out to me, and described her suffering: "The truth is, I only keep a diary so that I can empty my head at the end of the day. I write down my torturous training schedule; I write about father being a big meanie and beating my big brother Ren. I also write about my mommy Ran, my nee-san Jun, and my grandpa Ching. I'm only five, and I already have such a burden to carry around. The Taos are dying out, and Father is becoming even more distrusting of the regular humans. Things are getting worse as my beatings increase and other bad things happen that I'll get into detail about later. I don't know how much longer my clan will last. We Taos are too proud for our own good. Not to get off subject, but I had another power accident today…one of the servants made me angry and I lost control. She's dead, and I have yet another accidental-murder on my conscience. Someday they are going to hunt me down and kill me for all the deaths I've caused. My family is already sending me away. I'm not sure where, but I know it's far, far away from China. Ren said the meanest thing: 'They finally got sick of you and are shipping you away and the foreigners are going to destroy you.' I don't know why he said it, it's not true. Mommy and Daddy love me. Jun loves me, Grandpa, even Ren loves me, so why would they want me dead! I don't want to die! I didn't mean to murder all those people; it wasn't my fault! It wasn't on purpose! I can't control my powers, and they're going haywire, but it's not my fault! I'm sorry…that little outburst was kiddish; Daddy told me to stop acting kiddish. I'll have to try harder…anyway, wherever I end up, I'll be sure to take you with me dear diary because without you, I'd have to remember things that had happened to me. I wish I had amnesia…but instead I do things this way. I write things down in you, and make myself forget. I will never re-read this, so that I don't have to remember. I don't want to remember all the awful things I've seen, so I plan on forgetting and burning this entire book one day. No one else has the right to be reading this except for me, and I don't want to read it, so when I fill all the pages I'll burn it. Aikido says I'm dealing with this in a very unhealthy way, but what can I do? I want all my bad memories to go away."
She was a very clever girl, this Judo Tao, she was a powerful Shaman along with her samurai Aikido, and she had even studied with my great grandparents and grandparents: Yohmei, Kino, Keiko, and Mikihisa. While she had been staying at the Asakura temple, training, she wrote about some strange things that had happened to her when she went out by herself to train in the forest. She talked of the lovely scenery, and the peacefulness of the woods, but she also revealed hidden fears of going in there by herself when Yohmei sent her in. She rambled on and on about a boy occasionally stalking her in the woods as she trained, meditated, even bathed!
"Yohmei sent me into the woods again. 'Judo, go collect five sticks and two stones the exact same weight from the forest, and bring them back to me.' Of course I tried to talk him out of it, but there was no point in arguing. I pulled my hair up into a high ponytail, and slipped on my tight fitting Tao training uniform that Jun had sent me last summer. I pondered for a moment over why it was so tight and showed so much cleavage. I procrastinated as long as possible before Yohmei complained of my taking too long. I set off into the woods and started to search for the twigs and pebbles.
"I wonder…did he want the stones to be the same weight as the sticks, or did he want the sticks to be the same and the stones to be the same?" I mauled over the details out loud as I inspected sticks and stones, wondering mindlessly deeper into the trees.
I picked up a few stones and guessed at their weight. "This is hopeless." I grumbled, sitting down on a nearby rock at the edge of a pond. I was lost, and it was getting late. I reached for another stone.
"Of course it's hopeless, the way you're going about it. Don't take that one, pick up the stone to your left." A deep voice from high in the treetops chuckled at me.
"Hello stalker." I sighed, sounding rather annoyed that he was following me yet again.
"Ow. That hurts. Why the name calling, Judo?" The voice replied, sounding higher, squeakier this time.
A smirk spread across my face and I decided to tease my disembodied voice of a stalker. "Well, you've been watching me ever since I first came to the Asakuras for training, and you do act like a stalker in every way possible, so why shouldn't I call you a stalker when that's what you are? Oh, and by the way, your voice is changing." I stifled a laugh. "Looks like somebody's going through puberty."
"Ha, ha. Very funny, but it looks like you've been growing too. You've gone from a 36 to a 40 since I saw you last summer, and the top half of your training outfit is getting scandalously tight. I don't think it's a good idea to be alone with someone like me while wearing such arousing clothing." I didn't like the tone in his fluctuating voice.
"What do you mean, and how did you know I was a 40! I did NOT tell you anything about myself, not even my name, so how would you find out all that stuff you know about me!" This man was seriously starting to creep me out.
"I think you know what I mean. You're fourteen, and every girl should know about the dangers of being a woman by the time that they're that age. What have you heard about stalkers doing to their stalkeies?" His voice seemed to become deeper. He was coming closer.
"A number of things." My voice shook as I felt him closing in. He had never gotten too close to me before. That was why I sort of felt comfortable with him. He could watch as long as we never met face to face. "What do you want!"
"A number of things." His voice seemed to come from directly behind me. I got to my feet and spun around. No one was there. He chuckled softly at my frenzy.
"Don't mock me! What do you want?" 'Maybe I'm getting paranoid. Maybe he doesn't really exist. Yes, that's it. I'm hearing things; my mind is playing tricks on me. Wake up Judo, this isn't real!'
"Hush. I'm not mocking you. I'm simply amused by your cute little defiance. Now Judo, be realistic; we're not seven years-old anymore…what do you think I want from you?"
I grew more panicked as I could feel him coming closer. "I don't know! Do you want my powers! You can have them! They cause too much trouble in my life!"
"Now you're thinking." Someone behind me restrained my arms and slammed me up against a huge pine tree. "But that's not what I want at the moment."
I couldn't speak to ask him of his intentions. I was scared to death. He was touching me—no, not touching, more than touching. He had me pressed tightly up against his body, stuck between him and the stupid tree. What would he do? What did he want? Could it be possible that I was only imagining this? Something inside me snapped; my vision blurred and I almost blacked out.
"I'm not going to take your powers. I'm not quite ready for that part of my plan yet." As one of his hands held me fast to the tree, the other freely roamed my body, amusing itself with my various lines and curves. "Besides, I'd have to kill you to get your powers, and then you wouldn't be around to stalk if you were dead. No, I don't plan on killing you yet."
"Then what?" I tried to struggle, but he was too strong.
"May 12th. Did you know it's my fifteenth birthday today? Of course you didn't. I didn't tell you, and they most definitely didn't tell you, so you had no way of knowing." His hand undid my ponytail, and he ran his fingers lightly through my hair, now cascading down to my shoulder blades.
"Who are 'they'?" I tried hard to keep conscious, but I could feel something at the back of my mind dragging me into darkness. It was almost as if he had cast a sleeping spell on me.
"The Asakuras. The people you've been training with every summer since you were seven. They didn't tell you why they are training you either, did they? They are trying to make you into the ultimate shaman so that you can enter the Shaman Tournament and kill me. They didn't tell you that. They didn't tell you that you have a sister. They didn't tell you who you really are. I find it quite sad that even your so-called 'parents' lie to you. You think you're Chinese, a Tao. What would you say if I told you that you're not? What if I said that you weren't related to those people at all? And above all, how do you feel about the name Ivy? That's your real name, not Judo."
"LEAVE ME ALONE! STOP LYING TO ME!" I gathered all my strength and pushed him off of me, freeing myself from his grip. I fell to the ground from the force, exhausted, but I struggled to my feet and tried to run. I was about to start running for my life when I noticed he was gone. The boy had simply vanished. I lay back down on the ground to rest seeing as the danger had been averted. 'Why am I so tired?'
"The whole time I had my hands on you I was draining your powers and energy and rerouting them into my body to make me stronger." The voice responded to my thoughts. He was standing right next to me, but I couldn't lift my head off of the ground to look at him. I completely gave up and let him do whatever he wanted. He just stood there and didn't do anything. 'Hurry up and get it over with; you're wasting my time. Just kill me or whatever.' I shut my eyes and waited for death to come.
Still he just stood there looking down at me. "God, even when you're submissive you're snippy. You do know I can hear your thoughts, don't you? 'Wasting your time'? If I were going to do anything to you, I would have done it already. I was just playing with you. I have to do something to amuse myself every once in awhile, and you are the most amusing woman I know. Don't take it so seriously, and stand up."
As he stood there chuckling at me, I somehow found the strength to stand up again. I looked at where he had been standing, but I couldn't see his face since he was in the shadows. "Who are you, you sick, perverted, bastard? Who do you think you are scaring me like that!" I advanced on him, yelling while trying to get a good look at his face.
He would have none of it. For every step I took forward, he took two back. Eventually I stopped trying to look at him. "You don't need to know who I am yet. You'll come to me out of your own free will to join my cause someday soon, and when you do, you'll find out then. I'll use your powers combined with mine to destroy the humans plaguing the earth. But just to satisfy your curiosity and to give you something to call me by, I am, for all future references, the Future King."
There was a moment of silence between us, for he had apparently finished speaking, but I had nothing to add to the conversation—well, nothing he would appreciate hearing. 'He's completely insane.' Silence prevailed between us until I finally decided to end the awkwardness. "Well, I'm going home." I walked sideways out of the clearing, not daring to take my eyes off of his shadowy form in case he decided to try something.
"Wait." He called me back into the shadows of the thick clusters of trees. I wasn't about to go anywhere closer to that psychotic weirdo. "Please?" He held a gloved hand out into the semi-light of the clearing. Red, fingertipless gloves with big clunky stars on the back of the hand reached out to me, entreating me to come to him.
I subconsciously stepped closer to him. Before I knew it, my feet had carried me all the way across the clearing so that I was standing a few feet from him. I reached out hesitantly and touched his hand with a single finger. I have no idea what possessed me to do it, but that single finger became two, and two became three, three four, four five, and pretty soon I was carefully inspecting every inch of his hand with the two of my own. I slowly slid the glove off and scrutinized his bare hand.
"Your hand is really soft." I mumbled, gently caressing it as if under some trance.
"Really? The rest of my skin is soft too…want a feel?" He offered his entire arm for me to drool over. I snapped out of my hormone-induced daze, and gave him the most shocked and slightly put-off look. He chuckled at the look on my face and moved his arms back into the shadows. "Relax. Unless you really do want to touch me, I was just kidding."
"I don't trust you." I stated plainly.
"I've given you no reason to, so I'd expect no less. You will soon though, but for now to show you my good intentions…" A small fire spirit appeared in his outstretched hand. "This little guy will light your way back to the Asakura Compound. I'd do it myself, but I'm afraid that would upset my plan. Okay?"
"Why do you want to help me?" I was still completely distrustful of this person. I wanted as little to do with him as possible.
"Think logically. I said that I had use of you so I can become Shaman King. I think I've made it clear that I want you alive. Do you at least trust me a little?" The stalker asked, stepping further back into the shadows.
"Why would I trust a creepy stalker guy who just attacked me and told me of his plans to destroy humankind? You've given me no reason to trust you, but somehow…I wonder…why won't you show me your face?" I took another hesitant step towards him reaching out toward where his face should be.
He caught my hand in his and pulled me toward him, into his embrace. All of the sudden, all manner of light seemed to fade from the clearing. "You are most intriguing…why would you want to look upon the face of your future murderer? Do you wish to have nightmares? You do realize that when I carry out my plans, you'll end up raped and murdered? If you don't, I do think you're either very stupid, or very sheltered. Perhaps you don't know what I mean?" My heart sped up as he leaned closer to whisper dangerously in my ear, and bite hard at the base of my neck right at my collarbone.
"Let go of me and show me your damn face already, you psycho!" I tried desperately to get away, but he only bit harder on my throat and down the neckline of my shirt. This was really starting to frustrate me. All I wanted was to know who this strange person was. I didn't appreciate his manhandling me, and I didn't want to be any closer to him than necessary, but I wanted to see his face. I needed to know what he looked like so that if I met him later on in my life I would be able to recognize him and not 'join him of my free will' like he said. 'I might be naïve, but I'm not stupid.'
"I'm not stupid either. I won't show you my face for the same reason you want to see it. I'm sorry, but you won't be able to recognize me at all when next time we meet. My voice will have changed by then, and you'll have nothing to go on as far as identification." He laughed evilly, and even though I couldn't see, I could tell he was smirking. The mysterious stalker let go of me.
I had to get out of there, so I ran; I later realized what a bad idea that had been when I tripped over a tree root protruding out of the ground and twisted my ankle. I yelped in pain, but tried to get up and run some more.
"I wouldn't do that..." A little ball of fire appeared hovering just inches above the ground by his feet, lighting his way through the darkness towards me. I lay helplessly on the ground and nursed my ankle. Tears dribbled out of my eyes as I cried out of a mix of pain and frustration. He just wouldn't leave me alone. A quick string of Chinese curses that Ren had taught me escaped my lips. "Hey, don't cuss me out in a language I don't understand." And then, as an afterthought, he whispered almost to himself, "I knew I should have had Zan-Ching teach me more Chinese…"
I struggled again to stand up and get away, but when I finally made it to my feet I was immediately thrown to the ground by a sharp pain to my ankle. A gross snapping sound kept me on the ground. Hearing the your bones snap is really sickening.
A sadistic chuckle escaped my pursuers lips. "I told you not to do that; your ankle is broken."
I wanted to slap him so badly, but that would involve standing… "Well thank you Captain Obvious! I could have never figured that out by the sharp jolts of pain and the crunching of my bones!" I really was in no position to smart off to him, but I couldn't resist giving him some lip. I was completely at his mercy, but I didn't care. If I was going to die, I was going to go out kicking, screaming, and insulting him in any way possible.
"There you go being snippy again. God, no wonder I lust after you! No other girl would dare speak that way to me." My heart sunk at his words. This was getting just a bit too scary…
I lay back down on the ground and waited for him to do something sinister or cruel. If my struggling was just further amusing him, then it might be best to just give in and be more submissive. "Fine. Have it your way; I don't care anymore. Just do what you want then leave me alone. Just make it quick because I have to get home soon or else Yohmei-sensei will be upset that I took so long but haven't managed to complete my training exercise."
An amused laugh met my ears yet again, but unlike the previous tormenting ones, this one seemed more friendly and almost…endearing. "You're pathetic." He stopped a few paces from my body; the little flame that had been lighting his path hovered around his shoes. "It's so cute how you think I'm out to get you when all I want to do is help."
Consciousness was slowly leaving me as I lay there on the ground in pain. My brain was automatically shutting down so that I wouldn't have to feel the pain from my ankle. My fading gaze focused on his strange shoes. They were red and square-like. They seemed to be made out of Legos, but instead of having the word 'Lego' printed on them, they were stamped 'Hao'. I couldn't help but think that they must be rather uncomfortable; I would hate to wear square shoes.
My eyes slipped almost shut, and I think he thought that I was unconscious because he snapped his fingers, and the small fireball illuminated the entire clearing so that he could see better. He tore a strip of cloth off of his poncho and used it to wrap my ankle tightly. After that job was done, he took off the poncho to reveal nicely sculpted abs, and a well-chiseled chest. His physique under that mantle was to die for. The man covered my body lovingly with his poncho, and smoothed my hair so that it didn't get tangled. He made a fire in the center of the clearing away from the trees so that they wouldn't catch on fire. This done, he lay down next to me and closed his eyes. As if on second thought, he reopened them, and got into a kneeling position over my almost comatose body.
He studied me for a while, taking every aspect of me in. I too looked him over, but now I cannot recall his face. All I remember is that he had the most lovely eyes, and long dark hair. My heart starts pounding faster every time I think of what he did next. He whispered quietly, "I've always wanted to do this…" and kissed me. He KISSED me! I'm ashamed to admit it, but I liked it. I know it seems wrong since he said that he was going to kill me, but…I don't know. It just felt right. I know that I know nothing about the subject of love, but I think I have a sort of crush on him…
I don't remember any more since that was when I fainted. I woke up the next morning in my bed with Kino, Yohmei, and Keiko standing guard over me. They clustered around me when they found I was awake. Keiko looked worriedly down at me, "Judo, honey! How do you feel?" Her hand automatically shot to my forehead. "Her temperature has gone down." She reported to the other two.
"Good. She should be fine now." The blind Itako nodded her head and left the room without a backward glance, but I could have sworn she said something like 'if he didn't violate her while she was out.' I had no idea what she meant, so I just pretended not to hear.
Yohmei looked gravely at me. "Child, you were very sick with a fever. You called out in your sleep. Tell me, what do you remember of your nightmares, if you do remember at all?"
"Nightmares? I don't remember. The last thing I recall before fainting was—" I abruptly stopped. I didn't think it would be wise to tell my teacher that that boy had kissed me. I had almost forgotten that I was speaking out loud and had left my sentence hanging. I rushed to finish before they suspected something. "—the boy. He wrapped my ankle for me."
Yohmei frowned, suspecting me of lying. "Child, that was but a dream. The boy you spoke of is not real. You dreamed it all up."
"But—!" I threw the covers off and gazed down at my ankle. Nothing was wrong with it; there were no signs that it had ever been broken, but that didn't prove anything. They could have fixed it. They were powerful shaman. "I know what I saw!" I cried angrily. "You can't hide the fact that he was there from me forever! I might have been dreaming this time, but I wasn't dreaming all the countless other times I've met him in the woods!" Hateful tears spilled forth from my eyes like a fountain. I don't know why I was so upset, but somehow, I was angry that he was trying to cover this up and keep it from me like the countless other things he was hiding.
"How many other times were you with that man?" He seemed angry with me like I had done something wrong.
"I don't know; too many to count. He always walks and talks with me when you send me into the woods." I got back into bed and shrugged. I wasn't as angry now that he was admitting to the fact that my stalker existed.
"Every time!" Yohmei screeched, startling both Keiko and me.
"Pretty much every time. Sometimes he doesn't talk to me, but I know he's there. He always watches, and whenever I'm having problems with one of your stupid training exercises he helps me out." This seemed to infuriate my sensei even more.
"Has he ever touched you?" I felt like a fugitive being interrogated in such a rude, straightforward way.
"No…at least not before yesterday. He had never met me face-to-face…Actually, I've still never seen his face before. Yesterday was the first time he had ever touched me, but that was just to scare me. He didn't do anything to me if that's what you're thinking." I shrugged off his obvious concern.
"I think you are lying to me. Tell me, if not he, then who left those marks on you!" My teacher pointed an accusing finger in my direction.
"What marks?" I blinked stupidly. Keiko held up a cosmetic mirror for me to inspect myself. Close to my collarbone and some all the way down to my chest, a string of red marks adorn my skin. "Oh…well, yeah he did that…so? Jun comes home with marks like that all the time."
"Do you know what he could have done to you!" Yohmei glared furiously at me, but when I didn't give the correct reaction he was waiting for, he stormed out of the room, leaving me to talk with Keiko, my sort of adopted mom.
"Why is he so angry with me?" Tiny tears, looking almost like small pearls, flowed out of my eyes.
"Oh…Darling." My surrogate mother wrapped me in her arms. "He's not mad at you…he's mad at himself for not being able to protect you."
"What do you mean? I'm absolutely fine. I'm not hurt or anything." I misunderstood what she was getting at.
"Well…Oh dearest…" Keiko held me tighter, resting my head on her chest. "Judo honey, we're afraid that that man you were with did something horrible to you while you were unconscious, but we have no quick, for-sure way of knowing at the moment. My father is just upset with that man, not with you."
"Oh, is that what this is about. He didn't do anything to me, only a few bite marks. He said he wouldn't hurt me or anything until it was time for him to use me and my powers to help him become Shaman King and rid the world of humans." I shrugged off her concern and lay back down in my warm bed.
"You're sure!" Keiko didn't seemed one bit surprised about the becoming Shaman King, using my powers, and killing humans part of my sentence. Instead she questioned my certainty of whether or not he did anything to me.
"I trust him." It slipped so easily from my lips that it surprised even me. I quickly revised my statement. "His word at least. Yes, he's been secretive and a bit deceitful, but he's never straight out lied to me. I think I can trust what he told me."
"I see…then you should be fine. We were worried sick when you didn't return home last night, but it was too late to go out looking for you. It would have been dangerous. This morning we set out to find you as soon as it was light out, and we were horrified when we found you sleeping in such an intimate position with that man. His arms around you that way, and you curled up against him, laying your head on his chest. And your appearances, they both looked so disheveled; we feared he had done the worst to you."
I let the woman ramble on and on about how the man had acted when he was awakened by the Asakuras. He hadn't put up a fight or anything. He simply handed me over. I found it hard to believe he had acted so civilly. When I told her of my doubts, she did admit that the man had kissed me in such a way that one might a lover, and he had fondled me some right in front of the Asakuras before handing my body over. I silently blushed and wondered what Keiko would think if I told her that, had I been awake, I probably would have kissed him back.
I kept reading and was startled to find out that this Judo girl was actually my mother. Her parents, the Kyôyamas had abandoned Ivy outside the Tao compound shortly after Ivy had been born. The Taos had raised Ivy under the pseudonym of Judo, and had never told her that she wasn't blood related to them. Judo didn't find out that she was really Ivy Kyôyama until she was almost fifteen. When she found out that the Taos had been lying to her, her whole life, she naturally was upset, and set out to find her real family and her twin sister Anna, also a shaman who had been abandoned by their parents at a later date. Ivy had run into my father on the road, and not knowing who he was joined him and agreed to marry him in exchange for him teaching her how to control her Allure powers from taking over and accidentally killing someone. I found myself addicted to reading her story. Ivy, Shaman Runaway was so captivating that I couldn't put it down despite there being over 500 pages to it, and around 74 different chapters.
It really shocked me to find out that my father had been such a perverted, cruel jerk to Ivy, yet she still fell for him in the end. In turn, Ivy had been selfish, confused, stupid, and downright snippy. Both had horrible problems sitting down and talking with each other. Though they had known each other countless years, they still had the worst time communicating. Yet they had fallen in love. Even though at first he had planned to 'use her and lose her' after he stripped her of her powers, and she had run away from her 'demon-fiancée' many a time, they still had ended up together. They quite literally had to almost go through hell for each other, but somehow they had still ended up married. I think my favorite part was the wedding; both the bride and the groom had gotten cold feet at the last minute, and friends and family members practically had to hold guns to their heads to get them married.
There were humorous parts, there were heart-wrenching parts, parts that made me laugh, parts that made me cry, some parts were just weird, and some were too gross to describe. Most things in there were surprising. For instance, I couldn't picture Opacho as a cute little five year old, my father wanting to destroy all humans, Hane as an angel, Kanna not pregnant, or Yoh almost marrying Ivy. Those were all a shock.
Some of the hardest stuff to read was when Ivy was about seven months pregnant. She was completely insane and basically not herself that whole month, and it had almost torn my mother and father apart.
Being pregnant is ruining my life and my marriage. I am so sick of not being in control of my own body! I want my life back! I find myself saying things I wouldn't normally even think about. I've become a horrible, bitchy, short tempered, irritable person. I'm not Ivy Asakura anymore. I've suddenly become some terrible monster, and she's ruining me.
Sometimes I wish I had never gotten pregnant, but that's stupid since this was pretty much inevitable. I mean twice a day is going to get you pregnant sooner or later. I suppose this had to happen… I just wish that I could wake up one morning in Hao's arms like we use to before we were married. I want to go back to not being pregnant or married or anything. Our relationship was so much better back the two or so years after the Shaman Tournament ended. We were still 'just engaged', and we couldn't have been more in love.
Now look at us. I've banned him from the bedroom at night, and he's started drinking all the time again. It's been years since he's drank, and now he's started again. I feel so guilty, but being around him makes me insane, and I can't help but blame him for my misery. I suppose it's half my fault too, it's not like he raped me or anything, but getting knocked up with triplets isn't any fun at all, and I'm not handling the stress well. I just want to go back to normal. Sure I want kids, but not if it's going to destroy my marriage with Hao. I could really use his support right now, but he's off drinking and wallowing in sorrow. I can't help but feel that that's my fault, probably because it really is my fault. I don't know what to do…I feel that I'm failing him as a wife, and our relationship is back to square one. My only light at the end of the tunnel is that the month will be over soon, and maybe I'll be back to normal after that. God, I hope so because if not, divorce is inevitable.
I looked up to notice that while I was reading, Hoshi had left the room and returned. Hana and Akira had also come back from their little talk in the hall, and Akira was sitting down in the armchair next to me. All of the sudden, I remembered that he had been looking down my shirt earlier. A fiery anger welled up inside of me, and I tugged on the neckline of my shirt, pulling it upwards. He didn't seem to notice, so I ignored him. He ignored me as well, but I swear he was staring at me out of the corner of his eye. My suspicions were confirmed when he leaned forward to read Ivy's diary over my shoulder.
I hid the papers from him and glared. "Do you mind?"
"God, don't be so bitchy Asakura!" He glared back.
I completely lost my temper. Where did he get the audacity to treat me like that after he had been so rude and perverted to me! Why couldn't he just call me Thorn! What was his problem! "I have a first name, you know! Why don't you use it sometime!" I stood up, leaving the diary pages in my chair. "Never mind," I growled sarcastically, "You don't even know my first name! I'm just ASAKURA! Well, you know what? I'm sick of it. SICK!" I smacked him hard across the face and stormed out of the room without a backwards glance.
A small trail of tears streamed down my face like soft rain. I hated the way he treated me like I was inferior to him, like I didn't really exist, like I wasn't really a person. I stopped down the hall at a soda machine and fished in my pocket for some change. I fed the change into the machine and pressed D9 for a strawberry soda. The vending machine ate my change, so I kicked it and stubbed my toe. A soft sigh escaped my lips as I sat down with my back against the stupid machine. I rested my head on my knees and let out a huge sigh. "This has been such a bad day…"
Someone walked up to the soda machine and bumped it. A strawberry soda fell out through the slot, and a gracious hand offered the soda to me. "Can I help in any way?"
I looked up at the smiling face of my cousin. Hana's smile was contagious as I blushed and took the can from him. "Thanks, I think you already have."
"Good." He sat down next to me with his back also up against the machine. "Pretty girls shouldn't be sad. You don't look as cute when you're crying."
I blushed a deeper color and had to remind myself that he and I were related. "I'm sure you don't mean that; you couldn't possibly think I was pretty. Thank you for trying to cheer me up though."
Hana blinked at me, turning my face to meet his. "Actually, I do mean it, and if you aren't cheered up by now, I've completely failed at what I came here to do."
I looked away from him, blushing. "Thank you. I'm quite cheered up now." My soda fizzed as I opened it. "But don't you think this is a bit awkward? Us being cousins and all, I mean." I didn't dare look at him in case he hadn't intended to hit on me at all, and it had just come out that way.
"Yeah, I was afraid you would think that. My aunt probably wouldn't like it if I kissed you either. Ivy would most likely kill me." I was shocked to hear him so casually mention my mother when no one else did.
"You knew Ivy?"
"Hmm? Oh, yeah…I did. She was a horrible mother, but the best aunt in all creation. I always thought of her as sort of my mother since Anna was never there, but I'm getting way off topic." Hana stole a quick drink of my strawberry drink.
"Wait…you also said something about you kissing me. Wouldn't that be incest!" 'Not that I would mind you kissing me.'
"No. I don't think so at least. By definition, for it to be incest we'd have to have sex. Now that would be awkward. I can't imagine doing my own cousin." He seemed to have little to no problem speaking his mind about such things.
I just blushed and nodded my head in agreement.
He smiled sweetly at me and apologized. "I'm sorry, too candid for such a blushing virgin?"
I blushed an even darker shade and nodded again.
"Sorry. Actually I came here to talk to you about Akira." My cousin scratched the back of his head nervously.
"That perverted, son of a gun! I can't believe the nerve of that guy! He treats me like I'm not even there, and then he goggles at my—"
"—He likes you." Hana interrupted my rant.
"…What?" I wasn't completely sure I had heard him right.
"He's in love with you; he just doesn't know how to show it. He's always this way with girls. He doesn't know how to act around them, so he's a total jerk." My cousin assured me.
"Really?"
"Yeah, and since he's always such a jerk around you, you have to figure he's totally crazy for you. It's not his fault he is the way he is. He had a hard time growing up, and maybe you could cut him some slack?" Hana entreated me for his friend.
I thought about it for a moment, and decided to be the bigger person. "Sure. I could be nicer to him I guess." I smiled and got to my feet.
He got up too. "Thanks Thorn. He'll appreciate it." Hana placed a quick kiss on my cheek and disappeared back into the hospital room.
I smiled and followed him back inside. Hoshi gave me a 'Thorn, thou shall not kiss thy cousin.' look. I glared at her and took a seat in my armchair.
Akira, still sitting in the chair next to mine, looked up and opened his mouth to speak. I could tell by the look on his face that he was going to apologize, but I cut him off with a quick kiss to the cheek. "Sorry I blew up at you." I smiled sweetly at the confused look on his face.
"What is up with you today, Asa—Thorn?" He blinked, but remembered to call me by my first name.
"Oh, nothing. Hey, can I use your laptop to check my email?"
"Uh…sure." My niceness was still puzzling him, but he handed over the laptop anyway.
I logged on, and to my extreme delight, had an email. 'It's from HIM!' I quickly opened it and read.
Hey, Hoshi. It's me, Dao Lian. I hope you don't mind me emailing you, but…well, I don't know; I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I was wondering what you were up to and stuff. I'm doing fine all except for this demon bitch giving me hell. Other than that…well I actually don't have anything to say; my life is pretty boring, but I just wanted to talk to you. Sorry to bother you, but I missed you. Even if we've only met once, I feel like I've known you so much longer. I know it's a pretty clichéd line, but it's how I really feel. I really enjoyed talking at the dance, and I hope you feel the same.
-ChineseShadowBoy33
I rushed to reply:
Hey Lian! It's Hoshi! I don't mind your email at all! Actually, I was going to email you sooner, but I was a bit too shy, and thought that you might think I was being too forward…Plus the fact that my dad was really sick…He should be fine now though. I've been thinking about you too. I'm not up to much since my life is pretty uneventful. Well, actually, I'm moving in with my aunt and uncle. My sister and father are coming too. They just told us this morning. This guy that I just met, I think I told you about him at the dance, but anyway, he's been a real jerk to me today. He actually looked down my shirt! I'm really glad you emailed me. I would have been too scared to have tried to get in touch with you; I've missed you too. I hope that we can talk more later, but right now I have to give this laptop back to the guy I borrowed it from. He's sure to get angry if I take to long. I'll talk to you soon? See ya later! Oh, and I almost forgot, I changed my email address. I've had the 'ThornsOfABriarRose' one forever.
-TornByThorns
P.S: I feel the same way as you do about how long we've known each other.
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Mikau: Yeah, next chapter should be better. This hospital part has dragged on far too long.
Thanks to: glitter galz, Hemila-Rose, Kiva Kyoyama, HAO-Addictive, Touch of the Wind, ChibiAzn3, ChibiKitsune, DarkPisces33, Hannah/Akira'sbiggestfan, Danny, yo wuz up, ShadowYasha, haoxivy 4 eva, KaZuYa MiNeKuRa, y0ur-w0rst-nightmARee, Andrea Nefisto, Strawberry, IvyAsakura13, yekeperson, and Firebane5.
To ChibiAzn3: Thank you so much! I'm a big YohxAnna fan myself. About your question: Hana likes Thorn. -.- God, I really hate incest. Somehow all the weird stuff works its way into my fics…Thank you though for your kind words!
To ChibiKitsune: Sorry, but I haven't found a suitable place to insert Lyserg yet. Sally just kind of worked her way in there somehow…
To DarkPisces33: We don't know what I'm sick with, but my diabetes is making it worse. I'm trying to rest up and get well again, but I keep getting worse. Thank you so much for your review. It means a lot to me when people say that my work means a lot to them. It makes me feel important!
Andrea Nefisto: Yes, I haven't been eating well…rubs back of neck nervously I did remember to eat a Pop Tart, a sandwich, and White Castle's yesterday. Wow…that really isn't all that much…Anyway, thanks for the review. Last chapter was really fun to write with all of its strangeness and weirdness. Writing Hana and Akira's conversation was very interesting to say the least. I agree that the boys did turn out a little too like their fathers, but I like them the way they are. Oh, and I did read HGHD! Hoshi was sooooooo cuuuute! I just wanted to glomp him! The part with him in the graveyard being attacked by Ren and then Bason being afraid of cats was hilarious! Anyway, back to my fic, as with I,SR, I will not be announcing Thorn's pairing until it is painfully obvious who she falls in love with.
IvyAsakura13: You can tell your brother that Akira is just a punk, though he does act a little goth, and he does have that goth choker… Akira wears other clothes than just black. Though he does have black leather pants…and that black jacket…hmm. Maybe he is a little goth? I prefer to think that he's just a punk though.
To Firebane5: Glomps Hey! I missed you! Thank you for your inspiring words, your reviews are always so helpful. Sometimes when I have a not-so-great chapter people still say it's good because of my other work and they're afraid to hurt my feelings or something, but you are always pretty candid about what you think. I just wanted to thank you. I totally agree that I needed those flashbacks two chapters ago. This whole updating thing is going too slowly, and even though my chapters are longer, I feel that they're dragging and that I really need to speed it up and let my poor readers in on what's going on with Ivy leaving and everything. It's frustrating being so busy with homework and everything. Plus I'm still so sick and everything. It really is horrible. I know you know what I'm talking about since you're so loaded down too. I hope you get time to update your fic. That last chapter was pure genius. I loved the last little part with Hao pretending to be Haru! It was hilarious! I cannot stress how much I loved it! Definitely one of my favorite chapters so far. I can't wait until the HaruxMia pairing is more obvious. Anyway, I agree about what 4KIDS did to Hao. God, I am so glad that their dubbing of SK is over so that they can't ruin it anymore! My poor, poor Hao, and Yoh, and Anna, and Horo, and Ren, and goes on and on for hours listing every single character in SK. I'm so glad that you like the way I made Hana and Akira like their fathers. I was afraid I had made them a bit too clone-ish, but that's just how I think they should be. I'm trying to bring Yoh a little into the foreground a bit more, but it seems that he might just have to stay in the background. Sigh…I miss the days of I,SR when I had a nice HxIxYxA (what would you call that? If three is a triangle, then what is four? A trapezoid?) pairing going. Hoshi does her job well, but I find it a bit sad at how overqualified for the job she is…She's already messed up her own life, so she lives to help her baby sister out. I agree with the whole HanaxThorn thing being messed up. I'm really not an incest fan, but somehow all the weird stuff ends up in my fics. Oh well…thank you so much for your reviews!
Mikau: Well, this being chapter 19, I think I'll be a bit over 20 chapters…okay, maybe a lot over 20 chapters, but I don't think I'll have 74 at the end. Oh, and by the way, so sorry to those who didn't read the original I,SR and have no idea who Judo is or how she plays into the plot line. If you go back and read chapters five and six of Ivy Shaman Runaway, you should get it.
PLEASE REVIEW!