Mikau: Hello everyone! I missed you all soooooooo much! I meant to get this up sooner, but then I got pneumonia and had to do a research report and a science fair project. The musical was magnificent! I got so many pictures backstage, and I miss everyone from the musical soooooo much! -Cries- There's another musical coming up called "Into the Woods" if you've heard of it. Also there's a play at the same time, and I can't decide which I want to be in. You can only be in one, and I'm having major dilemmas. Try outs for the play are on the 30th, and try outs for "Into the Woods" are on the 12th of December. I'll have to figure something out…but if I don't make "Into the Woods", I'll probably try out for the play or musical of one of the local boys' schools. Okay, enough about me. This chapter is pretty depressing and incestful. Yeah…that's about all I have to say about that subject.
Disclaimer: I don't own Shaman King, or the song "Annie Waits" by Ben Folds.
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Plotting and Scheming
"Hana?...Hello? Earth to Hana? Do you think he's okay? He hasn't moved since she left…" Ivory got up from the booth and tapped me on the shoulder.
I jumped at least ten feet, then whirled around to see the Ainu girl looking wide-eyed at me. "Hana, are you feeling all right? You seem really jumpy…and depressed. Both things, very unlike the Hana I've grown to love."
I flashed her a bright smile, trying to mask my true feelings. "Don't be ridiculous. I'm fine. I don't know, but this rain does stuff to me and I just kind of start spacing out. Really I'm perfect, just perfect." Everyone was easily fooled by my ploy, and a sense of ease fell over the group.
"Good. Then you won't mind if I borrow your car?—No?—Great." Ivory reached into my pocket, pulled out my car keys, and headed out the door with Akira and Makoto close behind her. I didn't even bother protesting. Ivory had 'borrowed' my car so many times before even though she only had her learner's permit. She hadn't totaled the vehicle yet, so I didn't have a problem with it. Besides I had much more pressing matters on my hands at the moment. 'She didn't even take an umbrella…'
"We need to talk." Hoshi threw my jacket into my face. I blinked several times before following her blindly out into the rain. She walked at a fast gait; I had to jog to keep up with her. Within minutes we had arrived at Moon and Stars Café and Bakery. Hoshi dragged me by my arm and whirled me around, shoving me into a window booth.
"What exactly did you want to talk about Hoshi?" I gulped. I could tell by the serious tone in her voice that she meant business.
My cousin seated herself on the seat opposite me, folded her hands, and looked me right in the eye. "Look Hana, you love her, right?"
"I…uh…what brought this up Hosh?" I tried to get out of talking about my incestful situation.
"Answer the question." She could be even scarier than her father if she wanted to be.
"I love her. So? I don't see why it matters."
Hoshi raised an eyebrow at me. "Don't you?" The green-haired waiter came over, interrupting Hoshi's train of thought. My cousin re-adopted her stupid accent.
"What can I get for you two this evening?"
"Um, I'll, like, have the number two special." Hoshi played with one of her bangs absent-mindedly.
I quickly scanned the menu, but I wasn't hungry. "Just an orange smoothie for me."
"Right." The green-eyed man nodded as he jotted down the order. Something seemed to catch his eye, and he stared at the faded scar on the side of Hoshi's face.
She cocked her head to the side and glared at him. "Can I help you?"
"I knew it! You are Ivy and Hao's daughter, aren't you! My name is Lyserg. I knew your parents." The green man replied in a sort of begrudging way that suggested that he wasn't extremely fond of her parents.
"Yes, I'm Hoshi, their eldest daughter." My cousin replied in a similar tone of voice to Lyserg.
"May I inquire as to where you got that 3-like scar on your face?" The detective ventured gingerly forward with the conversation.
"NO, YOU MAY NOT!" a fiery passion burned in the woman's eyes.
"Very well. I will return with your order in a few minutes." He hastily hurried to the kitchen to escape from the enraged Asakura woman.
"Nosey detectives…" Hoshi rolled her eyes and got back to the matters at hand. "Anyway, Hana, if you love her, tell her. I refuse to go any further with our little plot unless I'm sure that you're not suffering through this. You want her, but you're helping some other guy have her; that's bound to end up hurting you somewhere along the way. What do you say?"
My gaze strayed out the window, and my eyes hazed over as I focused on a raindrop flowing down the pane. "What would you have me do, Hoshi? It's incest no matter what way you look at it, regardless if I love her. There's nothing I can do."
"I'm not going through with this then." She replied automatically, forcing my hand. "You're only hurting yourself. Who cares about incest? I'm talking about love. You love Thorn, and you're going to give her up just because society says that you two shouldn't be together." My cousin took my face in her hands and forced me to look at her. "Hana, here's what I want you to do: go home and tell Thorn how you feel. Do whatever else you want with her; I don't care, just do it today. Tomorrow I'm going to submit Thorn and Akira's audition forms for the school musical. Tomorrow we put our plan into action, and Thorn is officially Akira's property. You have the rest of today and tonight to do as you wish with Thorn…." Hoshi ended with a lilt to her voice, and a smirk on her face.
I searched her appearance for any trace sign of lying. I couldn't find any. "You're serious."
"Mhm." She nodded, her smile widening.
I couldn't help but return the gesture. "Thank you…"
"Oh, stop it. Just go." She flipped a long lock of hair out of her face and smiled again, clearly pleased with her matchmaking.
"But the food—"
"I'll take care of it." Hoshi pushed.
"Leave a good tip." I hustled to put on my jacket.
"I will; now get out of here!" I quickly fled the scene, racing off toward Funbari Onsen. Hoshi left only moments after I did, leaving no money for the food, but instead a small slip of paper reading "Here's your tip, Mr. Detective: Diablo."
I raced out into the rain after my cousin, determined to catch up and confess everything to her before my time was up, and it was time to set her up with my best friend. When I reached the Onsen, I saw Thorn, but it looked like she was with someone. I called out to her, and when she turned toward me, I saw that she was by herself.
"Hey Hana…" Thorn looked around as if searching for something, but as far as I could see, there was nothing but thin air to be found. She picked up a small bouquet of red roses off the ground and looked sadly at them, holding them to her chest.
"I'm sorry, did I interrupt something?" I stepped back, all of the sudden feeling nervous.
My apology seemed to wake her from her thoughts and she started stuttering, trying to piece together a suitable sentence from her broken thoughts. "No! No, you didn't…I was just…I don't know. I wasn't doing anything. I—"
"—I think you should go inside and get warmed up. You're soaked, and I think that that's effecting your speaking skills."
I smiled warmly when she giggled and blushed. "Yes, I think you're right. I don't seem to be thinking or speaking clearly."
"You go upstairs and change into some warm clothing; I'll bring some hot chocolate to your room for you." I offered in a gentlemanly manner.
"Thanks. I could use it." She whispered a soft, yet grateful, thank you and scurried inside to change.
I went to the kitchen where I found Hao sitting by himself, drinking a cold cup of coffee. "Hey uncle Hao."
"Hey Hana." He eyed me suspiciously. "You're dripping wet."
I looked myself over and affirmed his observations. "I walked home in the rain."
My uncle gave an uninterested nod and took a sip of his cold drink.
"Hao, what do you think of incest?"
He choked, coughing and sputtering, looking at me like I was crazy. "Where did that come from!"
"Nowhere. I was just curious." I covered defensively.
"It depends." He eyed me carefully, checking my face for any hint to what was going on inside my head.
"On what?" I tried not to sound too interested.
"On who is involved." Hao dumped out the rest of his coffee in the sink and sat down with me at the kitchen table. "So?"
"Well…" It was too late to go and take it back now. I had introduced the topic into the conversation, and now Hao was suspicious of why I had even been thinking about the subject. "Say that I had a twin brother or something and we were separated at birth. Say that Hoshi had ended up sleeping with him on one of her jobs without knowing that he was her cousin. Is it wrong if they fall in love and get married and stuff?"
My uncle looked at me indifferently, seriously considering what I had said. "I'd rather you not, but if you're in love Hana, I can't stop you. You're responsible for your own actions, but as the girl's father, if you hurt her, I will have to kill you, regardless that you're my otouto's only child." He left me sitting wide-eyed at how easily he had completely figured me out.
I didn't see the worried look on his face as he left. "Uh…thanks." I shook his unprotective behavior off and set to making the hot chocolate for my cousin. I made two mugs full and ascended the stairs to Thorn's room.
On the way I passed through the living room, ignoring my mother who was sitting at the windowsill arguing with Lucifer, who stood beside her like a servant awaiting orders. I only caught parts of their discussion.
My mother was saying something like: "And you're sure that he won't interfere?"
Lucifer nodded, responding: "He doesn't know anything about what I'm doing, so how could he? I had nothing to do with what happened to those girls if that's what you're thinking…"
I didn't meddle in their business. They had been meeting every once in awhile for a month now, and I had learned long ago not to question my mother's motives. She had good reason to speak with the devil, and I didn't need to know why. I probably didn't even want to know.
I made my way up the stairs, bumping into a teary-eyed Ivy on the way up. She looked different…not at all like the Valerie woman she had been since Hao had come back into her life. The glow in her eyes was an Ivy-ish one. Yet somehow, she looked ill.
"Are you okay Auntie?" I cast an anxiety-filled look her way.
"Uh? Oh! Yeah…Fine—I'm fine." Ivy wiped the tears from her eyes and continued down the steps. She was acting odd. Everyone was. I shrugged it off and continued on my quest to Thorn's room.
Everyone was acting funny that day, and somehow I could feel some sort of plot building in the household. I had long ago resigned myself to being a pawn in their chess matches, but too many people seemed to be playing. Hoshi was moving pieces around, but so was Anna. Lucifer and Ivy were both playing too, and even Hao seemed to be switching pieces' positions when no one else was watching. Everyone had ulterior motives—even me! I was in love with Thorn, yet I was setting her up with my buddy, Akira. It's a wonder that I grew up relatively normal even by Shaman standards, what with all the plotting and scheming going on around me.
I rapped lightly on my cousin's bedroom door and held my breath as I waited for her to answer. "Who is it?"
"Hana wa desu."
"Come in."
I opened the door just as she pulled her tank top over her head. I saw a little of her bra and nearly fainted. She had such a potency to her; she was hard to resist. Suddenly the reason for my being in her room came back to me, and I starting racking my brains to find a way to tell her how I really felt without startling or scaring her. I handed her the hot chocolate mug without saying a word.
She smiled and took the cup. "Thank you Hana-kun." Her milky grin made me weak in the knees. I set my glass down on her bedside table.
"It was nothing." I couldn't think of anything to say, so I just stood there.
Slipping off her wet shoes, she sat down on the bed, oblivious to my obvious awkwardness. She patted the spot next to her on the bed, motioning for me to sit down.
I nodded, doing as she wished; all the while thinking, 'I'm on her bed. OH. MY. GOD.'
"Hana? Are you feeling okay? You're so quiet…" All of the sudden she was sitting right in front of me, practically on my lap, feeling of my face for fever. 'When did she get so close?' "Hana? Your face is flushing, and you're so hot." My heart skipped a beat…or four…I knew that she hadn't meant "hot" in the sense that I had heard it, but I couldn't help but think that way. My hormones were taking over. I could see down her shirt, her hands were on my face, and our noses were scant inches away from each other.
"I love you."
I had said it. It just slipped out. I hadn't meant to just straight out tell her, but none-the-less, there it was. I had just come out and said the three words that could kill or make a relationship.
"W…Wh-wh…what?" She didn't move away like I thought she might. Thorn looked at me in stunned silence, her dark eyes searching mine for truth.
Before either of us could say anything more, I cupped the back of her head and pulled her toward me, clamping my lips over hers, taking possession of her mouth in one fluid motion. She struggled at first, but I sedated her easily with my tongue.
Only when I made a move to take off her shirt did she pull away. "Hana, we're cousins."
"I won't tell if you don't." My hands skillfully worked their way around her chest as my mouth nibbled at the base of her neck. She let me take off her shirt and unhook her bra.
"But—" I silenced her protesting lips with a heated kiss.
"Hana…Stop…It…" She sighed whenever I pulled away, allowing her a breath. Her words were disapproving, but her tone was longing. By the time she had gotten to 'it', I already had her lying down on the bed, and was straddling her. Thorn was too far under my spell to turn back.
She didn't resist anymore; quite the opposite, actually. She striped me of my shirt and pants, leaving only my boxers. I had gone farther with other girls before, but now I was feeling nervous. She was my cousin after all…
"How long?" Thorn's husky whisper interrupted my second thoughts.
"Hm?"
"How long have you been in love with me? When did you know?" She nibbled on my neck, leaving my lips alone so that I could speak.
I saw no harm in answering her questions; after all, it gave me more time until we actually… "Since I met you. I've been in love with you all this time, but it's just recently that I realized that I loved you."
She kissed me again as I removed her pants. I ran my fingers through her still damp hair. "What made you realize that you were in love?"
She wasn't going to like the answer. "I don't know."
"You have to know." She pressed, playing with a few longer strands of my own blonde locks.
"Your sister." I kissed her again before she could say anything.
Thorn broke away from me and held the blankets to cover her bear chest. "Hoshi! What does my sister have to do with this? Surely she wouldn't want us to… I don't understand."
"You don't have to understand." I coaxed, pulling the covers away. "I love you; I knew all along, but your sister helped me to finally admit to it. Besides, why should we care what Hoshi thinks?"
"I love you too." She pulled me into another kiss, removing the last articles of our clothing.
Out of the corner of my eye I swear I saw Ivy close the bedroom door that I had left partway open. She hadn't been there the whole time, but had probably just saw us as she was walking past. I did leave the door pretty much open… She was probably debating whether or not to stop us. Whether to be a good aunt and let me have her, a good mother and stop me, or a romantic and let us have our forbidden love. Suddenly I found myself thinking about what my own mother would think. 'Would Anna even care? She'd probably hit me or something…'
I melted at Thorn's touch; my body was on fire, but somewhere in the back of my mind I heard voices. "If you hurt her, I'll have to kill you regardless of the fact that you're my otouto's only child." "Who cares about incest? I'm talking about love. You love Thorn, and you're going to give her up just because society says that you two shouldn't be together." "But we're cousins!"
Something within me clicked. I pulled back and looked down at the woman beneath me. Thorn was breathing heavily and gazing up at me with innocent eyes. Waiting. Just waiting. "Hana? Is something wrong?" Her fingers nimbly traced the inside of my thigh.
I fought back the hormones and told her what neither of us wanted to hear. "We're cousins. Your first time can't be with your cousin, Thorn." I had made up my mind to not do anything to her.
"What? Why not? I thought that you…" Her innocent dark eyes bore into me like wooden stakes through vampires' hearts.
"Like I said before—we're cousins. It's incest Thorn." I got off of her and started pulling back on my clothes.
"I thought that you didn't care… I thought you said that you loved me…" The hurt look on her face was killing me.
I looked lovingly back at her. I let my eyes wander her uncovered flesh. I had been trying not to look at her the entire time, so as not to tempt myself to go through with my original plans, but I stole a glance at her anyway, reasoning that this would be the last time that I ever saw her like that, so what harm would another look do? "It's because I love you that I'm not going through with this. You may not understand now, but one day you will, and you'll be glad that nothing happened between us today. I do love you."
"I love y—"
"—No!" I covered her mouth before she could say 'you too'. If she completed the sentence, I might be tempted to kiss her again, and one thing might lead to the next, and all of the sudden I might end up sleeping with her. "Don't say it. Try and love someone else. I'm not the one for you."
She nodded that she understood, but Thorn was reluctant. "But I want you to be."
"Sometimes…It's better if we don't get what we want." I pulled on my shirt and left her in tears.
"I understand that you're doing it for me, but I wish you wouldn't." Her small, salty waterfalls didn't affect me; at least, that's what I pretended. She was slowly breaking down my resistance. "I know you're doing what you think is best, but in all honesty, is this really fair to me? I've been fighting my feelings for you for a little over a month, and now, suddenly when you decide that you want to make love to me, you leave the job only halfway done! I have absolutely no experience in love, so I had no idea how to deal with my feelings before. I didn't know what it meant to be in love. I didn't know that I was in love with you until only a short while ago, but now that you've confessed your feelings to me, I realize that I'm in love too, and I have just as much say as you in what goes on between us!" She seized me by the belt loop and pulled me back on top of her, kissing me fiercely.
I let her lips linger on mine a few seconds, but soon I regained self-control, and I broke the kiss. "Listen to me Thorn, I know it seems like I'm being unfair, but I really am doing this for you. Promise me that you'll wait 'til you're at least twenty, and then get married to the man of your dreams. Wait until then to do anything like this with a boy. Boys are horrible jerks who will use you and lose you. If you wait until you're old enough to be married, then you're safe from the creeps who would treat you poorly. I want to protect you; just ask your sister about what guys are really like. She could tell you. I love you, so I want you to be happy. You'll find a great guy, I'm sure, one day. Who knows, maybe you already found him, but you just don't realize it yet. Promise me."
"I…You really are just looking out for me… But what about your feelings for me? And mine for you!"
"Puppy love. It's just a crush. Now, promise?"
"P-Promise." She didn't even bother struggling. I can only hope that I convinced her that what I was doing to her was for the best.
"You'll find a new Prince Charming, don't worry. I love you." I kissed her a final time before leaving her room. I didn't look back; I needed to go sit in the courtyard and sulk over lost love.
"You let her go." Hoshi sat in the branches of the Sakura tree as I sat at the base of it, looking up. She held an umbrella to shelter herself from the icy raindrops that showed no sign of abating, but I didn't bother to cover myself. I was too depressed; the cold sharp needles raining down on me, piercing my unprotected skin felt good. It distracted me from the inner pain of my bleeding heart.
"You let her go." My younger cousin repeated, emphasizing her unasked question.
I didn't answer her. If she wanted information, she was going to have to ask specifically for it. I was in no mood to play her games.
"Be that way Hana." Hoshi glared as I didn't cooperate. I could tell she was mad because I wasn't volunteering any information, but I truthfully couldn't care less. She was too used to people offering information to her voluntarily without noticing what all she had tricked them into saying. If she wanted to know, then she could ask like normal people.
"God, must I stoop so low as to have to ask actual questions? You know normally all I'd have to say is 'You let her go.' and then you would comment upon why. What is up with you today Hana? You're so moody." The Asakura girl tossed a stray bang over her shoulder and pouted at my being difficult.
I ignored her.
My cousin could see that this was getting her nowhere. Her face showed minimal signs of defeat, but she finally asked the question. "Why did you let her go?"
"Because I love her." I mumbled just loud enough for her ears to hear. I looked down at my feet. I really wasn't in the mood to get the third degree from my younger cousin, but it looked like there was nothing I could do but sit and listen as she gave me an earful.
"Really." Not a question, not even an unasked question. She was just making noise for the heck of it. Her 'really' could have been replaced by 'oh', and it would have carried the same meaning. It looked as if maybe I wouldn't get a lecture from her after all.
I was grateful, so I offered her the information she wanted. "It would be a one night stand anyway if I had gone any further. As of tomorrow, we're setting her up with Akira. She's not mine to take, and I'd rather save her for my friend is all. She'd be happier that way. If I had taken her then…she would have had more of an attachment to me, and since she rightfully is Akira's…then she doesn't need that emotional baggage. All I'm saying is…she's not mine, and she never will be, so why hurt the both of us just so that we can have fifteen minutes worth of fun. It can't possibly be worth it...ne?" I looked up (literally) to my younger cousin for advice. I wasn't sure if I had made the right decision, and I was subtly waiting for her to say that I should have stayed and finished the job.
Hoshi looked down from her lofty perch and smiled. It was a real smile. Somehow, I had a feeling that she didn't really smile often, and that I was being graced with a miracle. I racked my brains for a memory of her smiling, but couldn't find any. She had never really smiled at me before. True she smirked, and she did the occasional ironic smile, and there was her sad smile, and her angry smile, but nowhere in my mind had I any remembrance of a truly happy Hoshi smile.
"It's for the best Hana-kun." She jumped down out of the tree and walked away from me. I watched her walk away, not bothering to get up. When she noticed I wasn't following her, she glanced over her shoulder and winked. "You know, there are other girls in the world… Like me." My flirtatious cousin burst into giggles as I sneered at her.
"Don't be a tease Hoshi." I glared back at her, refusing to move from my spot beneath the tree.
"Who's teasing? I'm completely serious!" Her smile was more than enough to clue me in that she was lying. Still I got up and walked over to her.
"Serious, ne? I severely doubt it." I took her umbrella and held it over the both of us. The rain battered ruthlessly at the deflective device.
She stole the umbrella back, but still held it over both our heads. "You're right. I'm sorry for teasing you like that, but… I wonder…" She looked gaugingly at me.
It was a serious, glassy-eyed look that made me rather uneasy. She dropped the umbrella, stood on tiptoe, and pulled me into a kiss. My arms automatically wrapped around her waist as hers circled my neck. It was an all too automatic motion. Both of us had too much experience in the field of kissing, so it no longer meant what it once had back when we had had our first kiss.
Hoshi pulled back and looked at me with her scrutinizing gaze. "You're a really good kisser."
"You too." I returned her compliment.
"Too good."
I nodded in agreement to her statement.
"We both need to find one person and tie ourselves down before we develop an immunity to love. You're not as far gone as I am, but it won't be long…Find a girl, fall in love, and marry her." Hoshi's sadistic advice that day would be some of the most helpful I would ever get my whole life.
"Thank you." I mumbled as she walked toward the front gate of the yard. "Where are you going?"
"Graveyard. I need to talk to someone. Annie says 'You see this is why I'd rather be alone.'" She walked off singing softly to some song by Ben Folds. I didn't remember the name of it, but I knew I had heard it before.
I reluctantly went inside, dripping wet. 'Maybe it's better this way… She never was mine to lose anyway. Maybe I'm better off alone…'
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Mikau: Wow…depressing. -Blinks- Anyway, yeah that song was "Annie Waits" by Ben Folds. It has an amazing piano part that I wish you guys could hear. This guy, John, he played Lumiere in Beauty and the Beast, he was playing the piano part one day before a show, and it is completely stuck in my head. Thank you all to my wonderful reviewers, I'll answer reviews next time. Sorry to keep you all waiting so long…
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