Mikau: Hello everyone! I've really missed being able to work on this fic. I have hardly been able to touch my computer since the last time I updated. My health is doing better since last time though. I went to the doctor's the other day and she said I was making a nice recovery. I still feel a little sickly though. I should be fine. The reason I haven't been on my computer is that I have play practice everyday after school from 3:30 ish to 7:00 ish. Sometimes we start earlier, sometimes we end later. After rehearsal I go home, do homework, then sleep. It's a tough existence, but I'm doing pretty well I guess. I miss being able to type all the time.

Disclaimer: I don't own Shaman King.

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Sisterly Advice

We had a musical rehearsal the next day on Thursday, and then again the day after that on Friday. I avoided Akira as much as possible. I didn't feel comfortable being around him. Whenever we did have to speak I was civil, but my heart wasn't really in it. My mind was on other things: Lian. I was so excited about seeing him again, this time without the mask; sure the party was another masquerade, but Lian had promised to take his mask off for me if I took off mine as well.

It was Friday night, around six thirty, and I was sitting in my sister's room on her bed. Hoshi was working on some technical-looking scientific or medical texts that she had borrowed from Dr. Faust. She bit the inside of her cheek and pushed her reading glasses up further on her nose. I watched as she got up from her desk and walked over to the bookshelf, pulling out a gigantic medical dictionary and skimming its contents.

I took a deep breath and gathered my courage. "Hoshi?"

"Hmm?" My sister didn't bother looking up from her complicated reading material.

I felt faint, but I had to go through with this. "Do you have a spare condom I could maybe have?" I held my breath and waited for her answer.

She stopped in the middle of turning a page. Her eyes were burrowed deep into the book, and she stood there, staring, for almost a minute before she made sense of what I had asked. She looked up at me and blinked. Once. Twice. "What?" She scrunched her nose and furrowed her brow.

I looked down at my hands. "Never mind. Of course you wouldn't have any of those lying around. With your line of work you wouldn't use a—are you sure you don't have any?" I chanced a glance at my older twin.

"Why?" She kept the same puzzled look on her face.

"Well…tonight…" I swallowed hard. 'God this is so hard…' "Well I'm going to see Lian right? I thought that maybe we could—"

"—Hold that thought." Hoshi snapped her dictionary shut, closed and locked her door, and took off her reading glasses, discarding them on her desk. She came over and sat down on the bed in front of me. "What are you thinking? Thorn, tell me, what on earth is going through that head of yours?"

"Well…uh…Hoshi, I love him. I'm pretty sure this is what I want." I swallowed and watched her face very carefully, observing any eye movement or change in facial expressions. Those were the only clues I had to what Hoshi was thinking.

My sister nodded and smiled. She looked down her nose at me like I was a naïve child. "And what are you planning on doing when you get pregnant?"

I blinked, taken aback. "Isn't that what condoms are for?"

She rolled her eyes and laughed off my remark. "You are aware that those don't work, aren't you?"

This was news to me. "T-they don't?" I visibly paled.

She laughed cheekily at my inexperience and threw a pillow at me. "Nope. And of course you know all about how this Lian of yours will deny being the father. He'll insist that you're a whore and that the kid isn't his. You'll be all on your own with a baby. What will Dad think? Oh, and good luck finishing school with a kid. And you'll have to find a babysitting service to take care of it while you work at some fast food restaurant during the day and on weekends. I suppose you'll marry some half-wit drunk, probably a good fifteen years older than you. His first wife will probably have died in childbirth, and he wants some pretty young thing to sleep with. You'll have no other suitors since young hott guys don't want damaged goods with baggage, aka: children. If you think that scenario sounds bad, listen to this: say you get pregnant, panic, and have an abortion. Thousands of things can go wrong. You could bleed out on the table, or worse, end up sterile. If you do get through the abortion okay, then what? You just killed an innocent child. Murder, Thorn, in the worst way possible. Do you want to live with that on your shoulders for the rest of your life?" Seeing that she had done enough damage, my twin stopped talking and waited for my reflection thoughts on what she had said.

By that point, my face was chalk white and my body shaking. "It's not really like that…is it?" I swallowed. My eyes were still wide from her chilling description.

"No. But did I scare you enough to make you have second thoughts about going through with it?" Her cheeky smile remained as she laughed at my gullibleness.

I sighed in relief. "Definitely." I hugged the pillow she had thrown at me earlier to my chest and poised myself to ask another question. Sexual intercourse is a topic I'm not entirely comfortable talking about even with my twin sister. "What is it like then?"

Hoshi bit her lip and looked me over, gauging what I could handle. "Seriously?"

I nodded.

"It depends." She lay down on her side facing me, and I did the same.

"On what?" I barely whispered.

"Well…the guy, the circumstances, the place…everything. They say you'll never forget your first time, so I suppose it's really important, but I can't help but feel robbed of that experience. My first time was nothing special, and after that for money I was scared at first, but after a month it got to be almost mechanical…." She chewed on her lip, searching for the right words.

"What about your very first time?" I too bit my lip. I knew I was treading on thin ice talking about the rape with Hoshi, but I just had to know. What had happened to her that made her the way she was? One event had shaped the rest of her life. With what I was planning, I was worried that my case may be the same as hers, a few minutes changing everything. Didn't I deserve to be prepared?

"Oh…that…well…" I watched her bright cerulean eyes dart back and forth, searching for words yet again. "I don't remember…"

I opened my mouth to ask how she could forget something as terrifying as that, but she spoke first, cutting me off.

Her eyes glazed over as she struggled to recall the events of that night so long ago. "I know it seems like you'd remember being raped, but…I don't. Not really. Sometimes…when someone's been through an extremely traumatic event, they tend to white it out of their memory. You read the diary, ne? I'm not sure what all they put Judo through, but she got to the point where she could edit her memories like a word document on the computer. Judo was truly even more powerful than Ivy in that way. She could effectively manipulate things in a way that would be impossible for anyone else…I've sort of blotted that event out of my life. I remember Damien taking me out to dinner…then all of the sudden we were in this weird room and…he forced me down under him on the bed and ripped my clothes off…I was only thirteen and he raped me…I don't remember much." Her eyes came back into focus and she glanced at me as if entreating as to whether or not she had properly answered my questions.

I nodded. "I'm sorry for asking." I gulped, slightly nervous and uncomfortable.

"It's okay." She rolled over on her back and sighed up at the ceiling. "I'd rather you asked so you don't repeat my mistakes."

I copied my sister's motions, rolling onto my back as well. "Does it hurt?"

She glanced at me out of the corner of her eye. She nodded. "Yeah, but only the first couple times. You'll get used to it eventually."

"I heard some of the girls at school say it's wonderful…you don't seem to enjoy it that much." I nibbled lightly on my bottom lip.

"It depends." She anticipated my next questioned, but answered it anyway. "On if you love the guy or not. When I was on a job I didn't even know the guy, so it was just physical sex. There's nothing attached…no feelings, no nothing. It didn't mean anything. We were just going through the motions and there was no love…just…I don't know…nothing. But when I sleep with Lucifer…" Just his name on her lips was enough to make her break out in a smile. "God, how do you describe it? It is wonderful. I feel like—I know that someone out there cares for me. He loves me. It's not just the physical act of it…it's what's happening on so many different levels. Unlike the other guys, he cares. He doesn't want to hurt me. He isn't just sleeping with me because he feels like it. It's not just for pleasure like those pigs at work…it's about love. And while it's happening I feel so connected to him. Not just physically, but emotionally too…and spiritually…and so many other ways I can't even begin to explain. It really is beautiful when you do it for love. And it's not just the sex; it's afterwards too…lying there with your head on his chest, or his on yours. And he smiles at you and chuckles. He says he loves you and your heart liquefies. And you talk…about anything really. Sometimes Lucy just goes on about how beautiful I am. And he holds me. And I hold him. And you talk and just fall asleep like that."

She blinked, as if coming out of a deep trance. "Sorry; I didn't mean to talk so much. You probably got more than you bargained for didn't you?"

"It's okay." I smiled sheepishly. "I'm really glad you told me. I don't know anything, and at first when I was thinking about it, I was really scared, but now…I feel better about it. I'm sort of looking forward to tonight." I smirked as her grin faltered.

Hoshi gaped at me, propping herself up on one elbow. "Wait. What? I thought I convinced you that you shouldn't go through with this."

"Actually, you convinced me that I should go through with it. I love Lian like you love Lucifer. Hosh, we're twins; we're the same age, and I figure Lucifer and Lian are both around eighteen years old right? I think since the circumstances are so similar, it'll work out, right?" I smiled unblinking at my sister as she gaped.

She shut her mouth and bit her lip. "Thorn, the circumstances have almost nothing in common. Lucifer isn't eighteen. He hasn't been for thousands of years. You do know who he is, don't you?"

I blinked. My sister wasn't making any sense. "Thousands of years?"

"Think about it." She smiled slyly.

"Wait. Not THAT Lucifer?" My twin nodded, chuckling at my bug-eyed expression. "HOSHI! But he's—! Oh my God!"

"I know. Isn't it great?" Her peals of laughter seemed to grow louder.

Again, she floored me. "But…but…but he seemed so nice?" I sat up on the bed and gazed nervously at her as she lay on her back laughing.

She looked up at me and smiled. "He is. He really isn't the demon people make him out to be. Actually, Lucifer is the younger brother. His older sibling, Damien, is the real devil. He gave the job to Lucy a couple hundred years back when he got sick of running the underworld. Lucy is sort of the victim. His brother has framed him several times already for horrible things…" Her smile fell slightly and she sighed.

"What is Dad going to say when he finds out about you and the Devil?" I chewed on the inside of my cheek, worried about my sister's future.

"Well, he's either going to kill me, Lucy, or himself. I…I'm not sure how long I can keep Lucifer a secret from Dad, but…when he does find out—God, Thorn; I don't know what I'm gonna do." Hoshi didn't seem frantic in the least bit. She was calm and collected.

"You'll think of something." She didn't need any comforting, but I consoled her anyway.

She folded her legs under her and resituated herself on the bed. Finding the bed uncomfortable, she stood and started pacing about the room, gathering all the items she needed to get ready for the extravagant party we were suppose to be having in a matter of hours. "So are you still so sure about sleeping with A—…Lian tonight?"

I watched her as she thumbed through her wardrobe and jewelry. "I…not so much so now. I'm sort of confused about what I really want. You and I both know I'm no good at making decisions, and now I'm afraid that I'm going to be making a decision that could alter the course of my life, and I'm scared Hoshi. I don't know what I should do. I'm scared that I'll make a mistake and mess up the rest of my life like you di—" I had gotten so worked up spilling my worries to her that I had accidentally said too much.

Hoshi halted her movements and sighed.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that you ruined your life. I only meant that…. I'm sorry." I lowered my gaze and nervously twiddled my fingers.

"It's okay. It does seem like I've ruined my life so far, doesn't it? I don't think I have though. I'm still going to be a doctor. I don't have to be a surgeon; Faust said that I could be an on-site consultant. I wouldn't actually get to touch the patients and stuff, but I'd still be saving lives. And even my love life isn't a total loss; I have Lucifer, and we're madly in love. I personally think my life is going fine. Moving in with Yoh and Anna was a good idea. It seems to be doing all of us some good." She let me know all was forgiven when she smiled brightly again.

"Yes. I suppose it is doing us all some good." I kept my eyes down; still waiting for some much needed advice.

"Well, first let's start with why you should sleep with him." It was as if she could skim my very thoughts for information.

"I don't know…isn't that what you do when you love someone?" I blinked cluelessly.

She abandoned her outfit search to sit back down on the bed with me. "God help you; you really have no idea how the real world works. NO you don't HAVE to sleep with someone just because you love them. Wait until you're married."

"You're not married." I objected.

"I'm older than you." She argued back.

"By three minutes." I pouted.

She looked away. "A couple hundred years ago they used to burn witches at the stake. Most of the people they hung and burned were innocents, but they did get a few real witches. They murdered women, men, and children; anyone suspicious, and suspicious could mean anything from someone who kept too many cats for pets to someone who was slightly off or eccentric. Some shamans, including my family were killed. I was only six…they saw me talking to some ghosts and that was the end of me. That was my first life. This is my second. My soul is older than yours."

"Oh." I mouthed. "Like dad…?"

"Yeah. I died too young with unfinished business, so I reincarnated." She shrugged. "Anyway, that's all I remember really from my first life, so enough about that, and back to your life. Any other good reasons for sleeping with him?"

"I…well…I—"

"—That's what I thought." She smirked. "So, take my advice and wait until you're older." Hoshi gently ruffled my hair and went back to getting ready for the party.

I nodded, getting up and joining her searching for a dress or something for myself. Nothing in her closet looked usable, not for me anyway. "So what are you wearing tonight?" I ventured.

She pulled out a red outfit from the back of her closet. It looked like a bunch of satin scarves more than clothing. She held the cloth up to her body and modeled the belly dancer's outfit. "What do you think?"

"Lucifer will definitely enjoy it." I smiled sheepishly.

"I know." My twin smiled happily as she changed into her costume.

I returned my attention to the closet. "What are you going to use for a mask?"

"Look." I glanced back over my shoulder at her. She had a dark red scarf hooked behind her ears, covering from the tip of her nose down to two inches below her chin. I gaped at her; she looked magnificent. "And what did you have in mind for yourself sis?"

"Uh…Actually…I have no idea. Any suggestions?"

She turned me about and inspected me. "Hmm…no, but I know someone who might." She smoothed the wrinkles in her clothes and primped her appearance before calling softly, "Lucifer!"

I jumped as a red puff of smoke poofed into the room. Out of the smoke walked the form of my sister's boyfriend. He looked like James Bond dressed in a white tuxedo and wearing a half-face opera mask. Lucifer didn't seem to notice that I was in the room; he was too busy staring at Hoshi in her costume. "Well, well, well." He circled her like a vulture, inspecting her risqué outfit. "Don't you look gorgeous." He took her possessively in his arms, a lustful look in his eyes.

Hoshi smiled flirtatiously and gave Lucifer an appraising look. "And you're look especially handsome, but I just put these clothes on, and I'm not taking them off just yet." She played teasingly with one of his loose hanging bangs.

"Oh you take the fun out of everything Hosh." The demon in human guise pouted as he nibbled hungrily at my twin's neck.

"Oh stop it." Giggling, she playfully pushed him away. "That's not why I called you here, and you know it. I happen to know you were listening in to my conversation with my sister."

Lucifer smiled sheepishly, nervously chuckling. "Caught red-handed yet again. What did you want me to do Hosh?"

Hoshi motioned for me to come stand by her. I cautiously approached, wary of the demon standing so close to my sister. "Lucy, I have no idea what she's going to wear tonight, but she has to look spectacular. Is there anything you could do?"

"Please don't call me Lucy…" Lucifer pouted.

"You call me 'Hosh'." My twin argued.

"Yeah, yeah, fine." He snorted indignantly.

"Can you help or not?" Hoshi, forever the businesswoman, spoke semi-sharply, not wanting to wait any longer than she had to.

"Of course I can. I am Lucifer after all." The demon snapped his fingers and my clothes changed in the blink of an eye. "There. What do you think of that?"

I squealed in terror. He had me dressed in a form-fitting black dress with slits up the thighs, a plunging neckline, and no back.

"It's perfect!" Hoshi beamed at me.

I gaped at her incredulously. "You expect me to wear THIS! I'm naked!"

Lucifer rolled his eyes. "Almost naked. Boys like that. You know, it would be really hott if you showed a bit more cleavage." He snapped his fingers again, and even more of my clothing disappeared.

I shrieked. "What will my father think when he sees me like this!"

"Don't worry," My sister wrapped an arm around me. "He'll be too busy with Valerie to even notice you."

I snorted softly, not caring for my current situation. "I'm NOT wearing this." I looked pointedly at Lucifer, glaring at him. "Don't you have something else I could wear? Something that's more covering?"

Lucifer looked hesitantly at Hoshi, waiting for orders. My sister gave the nod and the King of the Underworld snapped his fingers again.

This time I was in a floor-length pink dress with poofy sleeves and a chain of stars draped around my waist. Two golden stars hung heavily from my ear lobes, and different shades of yellow and blue stars dotted my hair. Upon my head was a diamond tiara decorated with—what else—stars. A half-faced opera mask covered around my eyes and the bridge of my nose.

I looked scandalously at my sister. "It's pink."

Hoshi heaved a loud, exasperated sigh. "Deal with it. You can wear this outfit tomorrow, but you need something different and more showy for tonight. Lucifer?" With a sweet smile in the direction of her boyfriend, Hoshi ordered a new outfit.

"I'm on it." With another snap, a different outfit appeared; this one was white.

All white except the golden circlet atop my head. My hair hung in perfect banana curls interwoven with strands of diamonds, and my white opera mask even had small diamonds and rubies embedded in it. Red and silver glitter made the mask sparkle and glimmer when light touched it. My lips were painted pale wine red, and a slight accent of pink had been added to my cheeks in the form of blush. I stared stupidly at my reflection in the mirror. Everything about the costume, down to the diamond choker, was wonderful. It looked somewhat like a white cocktail dress with the sleeves starting at the shoulders, but the skirt of the dress was made of some silky smooth material I had never seen before. The skirt billowed out and moved with the wind. The most impressive thing about the outfit, thought, was the wings on my back. They looked almost real.

I turned toward Lucifer. "An angel?"

He nodded. "Though that's not exactly what angel females look like nowadays. Humans tend to stereotype, and really that look was the trend hundreds of years ago. We don't all wear that. We're more modern looking now. We wear blue jeans and stuff like you do." He smiled at his work. "What do you think Hoshi?"

My sister nodded and smiled approvingly. "I think we're ready to go to the party now." She glanced in the mirror, fixing her hair one last time before unlocking the door and heading downstairs, Lucifer following behind her like a pet dog.

I smiled at the cuteness of their relationship. 'I want that for Lian and myself. I want to be happy like that.' I glanced at myself in the mirror, still in awe.

I didn't notice my sister peeking her head back in the room and looking worriedly at me. "Thorn?"

I jumped at the increase in the noise level of the room. "Y-yes Hoshi?"

"Be careful. And try not to do anything…stupid." And with that she disappeared back down the stairs.

With one last backwards glance at the mirror, I took a deep breath and descended the stairs as well.

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Mikau: I'm really unhappy with this chapter. I'm not sure why, but I really detest it. It's not very long, and it's not very good. Sure it has its poetic moments, but…I have no clue. It just bugs me somehow. Oh well. Next chapter should be more fun. You know, I reread the first 50 something chapters of I,SR awhile ago, and I realized I've grown so much as a writer since then. Thanks for all being great reviewers. It has really helped me. I have to get to class now, so I can't respond to reviews. (Gomen nasai gozaimasu!) Thank you to all of those who reviewed!

PLEASE REVIEW!