Chapter 4

About ten minutes later I was standing outside Mark and Roger's loft. I was just working up the courage to knock when Collins came up behind me.

"Yo Maureen" he greeted. I jumped and turned around.

"God, Collins you scared the crap out of me." I greeted him back.

He chuckled and said "If you're looking for Mark, he's not here"

"Then where is he?" I asked him.

"I don't know" he admitted. "It's like the two of you have been AWOL all day. I'll bet Roger knows where he is though. You know they share one brain."

"I just talked to Roger about Mark and he didn't say anything." I told him.

"So Maureen" Collins asked slyly "What is up with you and little Marky?"

"I'm not really sure. I guess Joanne and I just broke up so I really need to talk to him."

"Wow" he said "so the rumors are true. You and Mark are trying to get back together."

"I guess you could put it like that" I responded with a smile. Just then a shirtless Roger flung the door open.

"It's always very well if you two want to talk" he informed us. "but could you please be quieter? Some people are trying to sleep here."

Collins and I looked at each other and burst out laughing.

"And just what is so funny?" Roger growled. We pushed past him into the loft and I said "Like anyone is sleep in here." Mimi came out wearing Roger's shirt.

"Hey Maureen, hey Collins." she said. "Roger, leave them alone and come back to bed. I wasn't finished yet."

We collapsed in laughter again as Roger said "Oh shut up" and went back into his room.

"So" Collins said walking to the fridge. "Let's see what they've got to eat over here."

I wasn't really listening to him though. I was looking at the young man standing in the doorway. Whose blue eyes were piercing my soul.

"Hi Mark" I said softly.

"Maureen" he responded "Hey Collins, what's up?"

Collins looked from me to Mark and said "You know what? I have a lot of papers to grade. I better get home." he hurried out the door leaving Mark and me alone. Mark turned to go to Roger's room.

"I wouldn't go in there." I spoke up. "He and Mimi are, well as Roger put it 'sleeping'."

He rolled his eyes and yelled "Rog, I'm back!"

"Great for you" was Roger's breathless reply.

"Typical Roger" said Mark going to sit on the couch.

"Mark we need to talk." I told him.

"About what?" he wanted to know.

"About us" I told him softly.

"Maureen there is no us." he informed me. "There's me and there's you. And standing between any possible us, are all the men and women you have yet to sleep with."

"It wouldn't be like that this time. Mark I love you." I told him.

"Oh so you love me now? But what about when we were actually together? Who did you love then Maureen? Because it sure wasn't me. And what about Joanne, do you love her too?"

"Mark" I sobbed "Joanne and I over. I didn't really love her anyway."

"That's not surprising." he scoffed "What did you do? Cheat on her again? You know, I think you need to learn what love really means because you keep throwing it out and not meaning it."

Then I realized that he was right. I had told Mark I loved him the first time we were together. I told Joanne I loved her too. Truthfully I did love Mark the first time. I was just hurt because he was ignoring with Roger and his camera. That's the reason why I started cheating in the first place, and once I had started I found it hard to stop. It continued that way even with Joanne.

"You're right Mark." I finally answered. I got up to leave. "But you're wrong about one thing."

"What's that?" he inquired.

"I did love you back than and I do love you now." I said quietly and walked out the door. I barely heard him whisper. "I know."