A/N: "Open your mouth and shut your eyes and I will give you a big surprise" hahahahahahaha

Ficlet Forty: Long Ficlet?

Harry met Voldemort face to face for the first time. He and Ron had been captured and were now chained to the wall across the room from where Voldemort sat writing on a piece of parchment. He was summoned out of the room.

"Well," Ron said trying to break the tension. "He is quite a strange man..."

"Yes...he's a little eccentric..." Harry said "...but he's the freaking Dark Lord. That's expected."

"I mean...." Ron said as Voldemort stood in the doorway eavesdropping on their conversation. "...the cape, the accent....he's obviously a fruit! He's gay!"

Voldemort was aghast.

"Well...I can see what you mean. There's no Mrs. Dark Lord around...." Harry said. Voldemort decided to break the conversation up.

"Since we are destined to become friends....perhaps you should get to know more about me..." he said, "I think you may have gotten the wrong impression of-" he was cut off when a servant entered.

"I have prepared the gruel for the prisoners, master," he said bowing.

"Yes. Thank you," he turned to Harry and Ron. "Allow me to introduce Jeeves."

"Hello, Jeeves," Harry said. "Do you live in the castle as well?"

"Yes," Jeeves responded. "For over 20 years. The master has been very good to me. He takes me when he travels and cuts my hair and buys my clothes and-"

"ENOUGH JEEVES!" Voldie said pushing him out the door with his foot.

Voldie returned to his desk across the room.

"Soooo," Ron said, "how long have you and Jeeves been together?"

"I'm not sure what you mean by that..." Voldie grew very tense.

"You know..." Harry said, "...how long have you two been companions?"

"Just what are you implying?" Voldie asked spinning his chair to look at them. "That Jeeves and I are lovers? First of all he is my servant, secondly we are not gay. I mean...I know I am a man of many secrets. But humping a mental defective is not one of them."

"Hey, Tom!" Harry said. "Don't take it personally! I meant nothing by it..."

"You don't believe me, do you?!" Voldie asked. "I am the freaking Dark Lord! I am not gay! I kill people for sport!"

"Hey...it's cool," Ron said. "Your sexual preference is your business. We don't judge."

"You still don't believe me!!!" Voldie rose and cleared the space between them in three strides. He pulled out some keys and unchained them. "I will not stand for this! Out of my castle! NOW!!!" He pushed Ron out the door with his foot. Harry scurried after and Voldie slammed the door behind them.

"Hey...." Harry said, "we're free.....SWEET!" They high fived but missed.

"Where'd my bread crumb trail go?" Ron queried.

Ficlet Forty-One: N.E.W.T.S.?

Ron and Harry were having a staring contest. Hermione sat at a table with all her notes sprawled out in front of her.

"Harry, what's the pronunciation for the Telastious spell?" Hermione asked highlighting things with her wand. When he didn't answer, she looked up to see them staring at each other.

"Ohmigod! You don't care about your N.E.W.T.S. at all! I'm going to library!" She gathered up her books and made her way across the common room. When she got to the portrait hole she turned on her heel to face them.

"If you stare at each other like that for too long, then you'll probably start making out." She walked out.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!" Harry turned to look at her leaving.

"Hahaha! I win!" Ron threw his hands in the air in victory.

Hermione made her way to the library mumbling under her breath. Something to the extent of "soo much ignorance....suffocating....need oxygen." She pushed open the library door to find Draco lying across the table on his side with his head resting on his hand.

"Hey baby! Give me some sugar!" He closed his eyes. She swung her bag around and hit him in the balls.

"Ow!" He screamed. "Muthaf!" He fell off the table clutching his crotch in pain. "I'll take that as a maybe.." She stomped off to another table.

"Oh yeah.....she wants me..."

Draco then cried.

Ficlet Forty-Two: Pale?

Hermione and Ron were sitting in the common room. "Whoa!" Ron exclaimed. "I have some PALE feet!"

"Ummm...tan them?" Hermione replied.

A/N: Yay! Long ficlets! Did you like them? I won't do those very often....cause they are very hard to write. I hope you enjoyed them. I love you all soooo much! And I have written 2 of the next 3 ficlets. So I will post them in the next two or three days. LOVE YOU!!!!! Muah! :)