Title: Asking To Be Panned
Chapter: The Eighth - Of Pirates and Plans.
Author: Squeezynz
Authors Note: apologies for the short chapter. For Kasmira, who prodded the longest and the hardest for me to continue this particular story.
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Hook was picking the remains of his cigars out of his silver holder when he noticed the faint glow in a clump of flowers at the edge of the overgrown glade. His men were quietly finishing their evening meal, the flames of several fires dotted about illuminating one group engaged in a card game while another talked over pipes of tobacco. Getting to his feet he sauntered towards the clump, glancing around to make sure none of him men were too close. As he passed beyond the reach of the firelight he crouched down and approached the shadowy flowers, the fairies light glowing bright then waning, almost going out before it would brighten again. Leaning over, carefully parting the leaves, Hook saw the familiar figure of Tinkerbell sitting hunched over, her arms around her knees. Oblivious to his presence, she wiped at her wet face, her wings drooping down her back.
"Well hello Miss Bell...how nice to meet up with you again." Hook murmured, his voice pitched so as not to startle the fragile creature.
Tink raised her tear stained face upwards, barely acknowledging the pirate Captain before returning to her former dejected posture.
Hook pursed his lips while he sat himself down, his back to the clump, carefully pulling out his silver cigar holder and a fresh cigar.
"You seem sad, Miss Bell...is there anything Captain Hook can do to restore your usually sunny nature?"
Tink didn't reply, only shrugged, her wings drooping even further.
Hook cast her a look, tamping his cigars into the holder and securing it between his teeth before reaching into his jacket for his tinderbox, striking a light after several attempts, the ends glowing brightly as a cloud of pungent smoke curled upwards to disappear among the leaves.
He puffed for a few minutes, content to let his suggestion sink in. His patience was rewarded when a faint tinkling heralded Tinkerbell's arrival as she lifted herself out of the flowers on slowly beating wings, her glow a little brighter than before. Hook continued to enjoy his cigars, ignoring her to blow smoke rings that twirled upwards only to break apart when they hit a branch.
Hook narrowed his eyes and stared at the fairy through the smoke.
"It's Peter...isn't it?"
Tinkerbell fluttered, turning a faintly green shade before reverting back to her familiar golden glow. Hook smiled thinly, tilting his chin as Tinkerbell settled herself on a branch close to his head.
"You think he's chosen her over you?" Hook drawled, blowing out another puff of smoke. This time Tinkerbell turned a violent scarlet. Hook chuckled. "Stupid boy...why would anyone choose some churlish girl over a delightful...and might I say, loyal fairy?"
Tinkerbell obviously agreed as she nodded her head vigorously, fairy dust flying everywhere in her agitation. Hook smirked.
"I'm sure if you had your way you'd like this Wendy person to just..." Hook twirled his fingers. "disappear?"
Tinkerbell nodded again, her wings beating faster as Hook blew another smoke ring, this one curling around the small fairy only to be dissipated by her wing beats.
"Of course...if I knew where this Wendy person was, I'd take her away from here in the twinkling of an eye."
Tinkerbell rattled off a string of bell-like notes, her light so bright it almost blinded the pirate. Hook raised his dark eyebrows, his hook pointing towards his chest. "You want me to do just that?"
Tink started to flutter agitatedly about Hook's head, dust settling on his shoulders, glinting in the faint firelight. Knocking the ash off his cigar ends, Hook took another puff, pursing his lips to blow the smoke out, his gaze speculative.
"I'd be more than happy to...dispose of the Wendy girl for you Miss Bell...but I would need to know where she was. Do you know?"
Tink once more nodded enthusiastically, her light as bright as a star at the prospect of getting rid of the person currently taking up all Peter's time and attention. Hook smiled, his eyes glittering. If the fairy showed Hook the way, it would save a great deal of time and effort, as well as land the saucy wench Wendy back in his clutches again. Of course, as a bonus he would have the instrument to bring Peter Pan to his knees and rid Hook's world of the flying brat once and for all.
"You have only to show me where the wench resides and my men and I will remove her from here, never to bother you...or Peter ever again."
At the mention of Peter, Tinkerbell withdrew a little way, her light dimming as if she'd only just realised who she was talking to. Hook remained unperturbed, finishing his cigars in a leisurely fashion before dousing the ends on the ground beside him.
"Of course, if you are happy for Peter to continue his liaison with Wendy, then there is no more to say. I will continue to search, as ever, for Peter Pan, and you can continue on your lonely way and try and find some comfort in the knowledge that he is happier with her than he ever was with you."
Unfortunately for Tinkerbell, she had no memory of the last, nearly fatal time she had made a pact with the pirate Captain. Being a fairy, she had only a limited capacity for memories and more frequently than not, forgot things quite readily unless she was reminded on a regular basis. Hence she had forgotten how Hook had tricked her so long ago and nearly caused Peter's death by poisoning. Hook was banking on this as he sat, confidently expecting the fairy to fall in with his suggestion.
"Well, Miss Bell?"
Tink's light suddenly burnt more brilliantly than before, almost blinding Hook who put up his arm to shade his eyes. A cascade of trilling tone confirmed that Tink would indeed aid the pirate in his quest to find the Wendy girl and take her away, on the proviso that Hook didn't try and capture Peter or harm him in any way.
Hook just smiled his most charming smile. "On my honor as a Captain, I won't harm a single hair on his head." He lied airily, Tinkerbell accepting his words and settling herself on his shoulder, glowing a faint blue of satisfaction at the prospect of Peter returning to her.
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While the pirates hacked their way through virgin jungle to reach Wendy's Wishing Tree with much cursing and slapping of exposed flesh to squash the biting bugs that feasted on them, Peter was entering the hollowed out tree to check on his lady love.
To his immense relief she was half sitting up against the pillows, her pretty nose no longer resembling a cherry tomato with a permanent drip, and her eyes no longer as red-rimmed as a pirate's after a three day bender.
"You look better," he announced cheerily, rubbing his hands together in satisfaction before starting to divest himself of his clothes. Wendy regarded him at first with a smile on her pleasingly plump lips, but as shirts and breeches flew off into the far corners of the room, her smile appeared a little strained.
"Peter...dearest...what are you doing?"
Caught unprepared in the middle of tugging off a moccasin, Peter hopped on one foot, clad only in a breech clout while he stared slack jawed at Wendy sitting primly in the bed.
"Taking my clothes off, of course."
"I can see that...why?"
Finally tugging off the offending footwear, Peter kicked the other one off and watched it sail across the room before fetching up on top of a metal banded chest.
"Because I'm going to be getting in to bed with you of course."
Torn between feeling flattered that he couldn't wait to bed her again and feeling that she wasn't quite up to an energetic bout of lovemaking quite yet, Wendy found herself instead ogling the expanse of gold skin being revealed to her wide eyed gaze when she should have been protesting against his actions more vehemently. In the end, before she could mutter more than "but I think I might have a headache coming on" Wendy found herself faced with a very naked, very excited Peter Pan scrambling into the bed with her, his hands pulling at her night dress with indecent haste. Even as his agile fingers yanked the dress over her head, Wendy tried to protest that she was too grubby and dirty to be fit to make love. Peter's only response was to tell her to shut up and kiss him, which she did with the inevitable result that her bones inconveniently decided to melt so that she found herself thoroughly entwined and once more melded in body and soul until fireworks exploded behind her closed eyelids and all possibly refusals were burnt to a cinder in the ensuing conflagration. Gosh.
In the aftermath, among the sweaty and decidedly pungent bed sheets, Peter and Wendy lay on their backs and contemplated that there was little that could stop them consummating anything when lips, hands and bodies became one. Wendy was particularly awed that despite only recently having endured a perfectly horrid head cold, her carnal desires weren't dampened one whit. As for Peter, if Wendy had known what an Ever-ready Bunny was, she would have likened him to one in a heartbeat.
As it was, they lay perfectly content with the status quo, Peter happy to have his Wendy hale and hearty and as hot as Hades again, while Wendy was pleasantly sated and congratulating herself on acquiring such a virile and handsome lover at long last able to satisfy her every naughty whim.
Life was exceedingly good.
Which meant of course, it was too good to be true and surely there was someone on Neverland capable of disturbing the peace in a proper and completely appropriate manner?
Speaking of which, half a mile away the pirate horde continued to hack a path through the verdant greenery, their machete's swinging in devastating arcs to sweep every leaf and twig out of their way so that not a single piece of vegetation dared to brush against the velvet glory of Hook's sapphire blue coat and matching trousers, liberally decorated everywhere with silver braid including his hat, which sported, in addition, a quantity of snow white osprey plumes. As his men toiled and sweated, Hook strolled the cleared pathway with a nonchalance that any aristocrat would have recognized and envied for its sartorial savoir faire. Above his head hovered a bright ball of golden light, the colours on display shifting through a rainbow prism of shades as Tinkerbell found herself doubting her decision, only to remember the numerous slights sent her way by Peter because of the wretched girl with him before once more doubting herself again.
In this manner the strange procession wound its tortuous and very destructive way ever closer to the tree that housed their intended victims, who, unaware to the looming disaster, enjoyed the sweet oblivion of the sexually exhausted, both Peter and Wendy far too happy to be overly cautious or suspect treachery.
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After carefully divesting himself of his magnificent outfit in favour of one less likely to show any blood, Hook secured his now carmine coloured hat more firmly on his head before sneaking closer to the tree indicated by the traitorous fairy Tinkerbell.
A strange buzzing sound greeted the men who found the many knothole openings in the broad trunk, their confused expressions irritating Hook until he tried to decipher the sound himself with as little effect as his men.
"Is it a bee hive Cap'n?" Asked one hardy soul, his expression fearful, one eye developing a nervous tick causing him to squint horribly.
"Sound's more like someone sawing a log!" Ventured another rash individual who leant forward and cupped his hand around his ear before pressing it to one of the holes to hear more clearly.
"Maybe 'tis a bar." Pronounced one ginger haired hulk.
"A bar?" Queried Hook, one dark eyebrow raised interrogatively.
"Ya, a bar...a bar in hibernation for the winter." The ginger one explained.
"Blood and thunder, you mean a bear!" Hook growled, cuffing the offending crewman and lopping off a portion of his ear. The man bit hard on his bottom lip to prevent a scream rending the air as all the crew, to a man, pressed a finger to their lips to silence him. Hook continued, ignoring the man clutching at his head and whimpering. "And anyway, it's never winter here, so any bears would have a hard time hibernating. No, it's more like...someone snoring." Hook pronounced, a grin of wicked satisfaction creasing his face as he signaled his men to follow him around the tree to the entrance. Tinkerbell finally realised, albeit belatedly, that having Hook and his henchmen about to burst in on Peter and Wendy was not exactly the best way to get her revenge against the girl. To that end, she plastered her tiny body to the door of the tree, her arms and legs outstretched to prevent the pirates going any further. Hook paused for a second before plucking the fairy off the bark door and flinging her into a glass lantern, shutting and locking the small door firmly in Tinkerbell's face when she tried to open it. "Oh no, Miss Bell...can't have you leaving us so soon. You'd miss all the fun."
Handing the lantern to one of his crew, Hook waved the men into positions around the tree as well as up into the branches to prevent any chance of Peter escaping their net. When all was ready, Hook eased open the door and stealthily crept into the tree house, his sword at the ready.
Inside the semi gloom of the tree trunk, he paused to allow his eyes to become accustomed to the darkness, all the time the noise of someone heartily snoring filled the room, the sound starting to grate on Hook's ears as his men crowded in behind him.
Shafts of light arrowed across the floor as he crept closer to the source of the sound, his eyes alighting on the bed with its two occupants snuggly entwined among the furs. The appalling sound that still reverberated around the room appeared to be coming from the fair Wendy, her pouting lips parted as she dragged in lungfulls of air to fuel a hearty exhale that set the crockery rattling with a snore that rivaled an elephant seal for resonance. Hook fleetingly wondered how Peter Pan was able to sleep with all that racket right by his ear.
Obviously the girl possessed attractions worth any amount of discomfort, the thought sending Hook's heart rate soaring as his blood rushed south for the duration. Ignoring the unwanted attentions of his body currently straining the stitching on his trousers, Hook used the tip of his sword and poked Peter's exposed arm, pricking the boys skin and leaving behind a bead of blood. Peter failed to wake up.
Hook tried again, his men all holding their breaths as their Captain attempted to wake the slumbering youth, the girl beside him still snoring her pretty head off, oblivious to the great unwashed crowded in her living room. Again, Peter remained asleep despite now sporting two red puncture wounds on his arm from Hook's persistent prodding.
Finally in exasperation, Hook leant over the slumbering pair and roared. "Wake up you lazy brats!"
For a second nothing happened, then the snoring abruptly halted and Wendy opened her eyes, blinking rapidly as awareness intruded and she awoke fully to find her bedroom full of pirates and one jauntily dressed pirate Captain.
"Oh dear," said Wendy, one hand reaching over to shake Peter's shoulder. "This is not good."
Hook leered and bared his teeth. "Not good for you, but wonderful for me. I have you both at my mercy m'dear, just where I've always wanted you."
"Er yes, of course. Peter dearest, time to wake up...we have visitors."
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TBC.
cue dramatic music (will try not to let it take another year to wrap this puppy up)