A/N: Hey yo! What the diddly-o?!?! I played with a ouija board. It was way fun. Yup yup. And Charles Adfin is the coolest dead 91 year old perv that I have ever had the pleasure of speaking with! You rock my sox, Charles! I loff you!!

Ficlet Fifty-Eight: Simba?

Hermione had set up a VCR in the common room and all the kiddies of Gryffindor and Draco who always seemed to be there, had acquired an addiction to Disney movies. "Hermione!" Draco shouted. "How could you hide this greatness from me for so long?! We should watch Pocahontas daily!"

"That stupid movie?" she asked. "It's so historically inaccurate. Pocahontas acquired tuberculosis and had like no hair and coughed herself to death."

They all gasped. "And Anastasia....that was a pretty cutesy movie too," she added. "But in reality, she was shot in the back of the head....and so was the little boy."

"And Pooka?!?!" Ron whispered.

"Probably..." Hermione said.

"OH GAWD!" Draco screamed. "WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO SIMBA?!?!!" They all looked at him strangely.

Ficlet Fifty-Nine: Quidditch Plays?

"I've got it!" Harry said jumping at quidditch practice. They were brainstorming for new plays. "....no..." He sat back down.

"I've got it!" He said again jumping up. ".....no...." He bit his finger in thought.

"Back off, guys," Ron said gesturing them away. "Give him some room to think."

"Ron," Harry said patting him on the back, "if I can write haikus while Skinheads pelt me with soap then I can concentrate anywhere."

Ficlet Sixty: OnStar?

Harry and Ron had just finished using stupid Ouija board things in Divination and they went to tell Hermione all about it. "Ohmigod!" Harry said, "Oeaeuaueghremmmmumble af;aeihfhfhghhhaee! I asked it who you were gonna marry and it told me but I'm not gonna tell you cause it's gotta be a surprise...eae;ehamumble mumble iaheaeioeincoherentspeaking ameouamumble! And you're gonna try to make me your maid of honor even though I'm male cause your husband won't make me the best man!!"

"................what?........" she said looking at them with her mouth hanging open slightly.

";LAEIAERAFHAMUMBLE AJOEHREIFFFFFALREAMBLUALEMB INCOHERENTWORDS WLAMEOIFUMMMMM!" They shouted in unison.

"I'm so incredibly lost right now...." she said. "Please excuse me while I consult OnStar."

(A/N: I love you Charles!!!! Not the 91 year old pervy one...but my buddy! my g! my ace in da hole!)

A/N: "Somebody told me that you had a boyfriend that looked like a girlfriend that I had in February of last year"