A/N: Feel like I need to put a quick TW: for violence towards a partner, it isn't described in much detail, but just in case you would rather not read this one. Apart from that, I hope you enjoy and thanks for interacting with me! xoxo
Chapter 11:
Saffron was stood with Willow, Tara, Buffy, Xander. They were all stood in a circle in the middle of the house party and Saff kept checking her watch because Hayley was supposed to be arriving soon. The music, to Saff's surprise, was good, and everyone seemed to be in a decent mood as excited chatter and drinking games were going on all around them. Saffron was wearing a long-sleeved black top with a long dark green skirt that she had bought when she had gone shopping with Tara that week. She decided her combat boots completed the outfit perfectly. As soon as Saff had arrived, she had felt a strange energy in the house. There were so many emotions present, but she couldn't tell what they were only that there was a lot. It made her feel queasy to begin with but as soon as she had started to drink and enjoy the party it had moved to the back of her mind. Xander was complaining about his relationship with Anya, and Saff couldn't help but think about how distant she had been with Spike recently. She missed him.
They had spoken since he had revealed all of her secrets but she hadn't been to see him very often. She had missed being his friend, he had explained that he needed to tell the others or they were going to dust him because they thought he was involved. She understood, but they still hadn't been spending time like they had before. She snapped herself out of thinking about Spike, and turned her attention back to the party.
Buffy had been dreamily staring at Riley as the others talked and it had made Saff laugh. She clicked her fingers and waved her hands in front of Buffy's face to pretend to snap her out of it.
"Earth to buffy" Saffron laughed as she blinked and briefly stared at Saff as if to tell her to stop before going back to looking at Riley. Saffron rolled her eyes and looked over to see what was so important about Riley and realised Graham was over there too. She smiled at him and put her finger up to indicate she'd be over in a minute and turned back to her conversation with the others. She laughed with Willow and Tara before reluctantly going to talk to Graham, which she found herself doing out of duty.
"Hey princess" He said leaning to kiss her cheek and put his arm around her shoulder possessively.
"Hey, what did I say about calling me that?"
"Sorry" He laughed and shared a look with Forrest before looking back to her. She chose not to question it because she wanted to enjoy the party. She took the beer out of his hand and took a sip of it herself before passing it back to him. She listened politely to the pleasant conversation between the three guys as Buffy joined them. She couldn't be removed from Riley's side for anything, not even a life-threatening apocalypse Saffron decided as she watched how close Riley and Buffy were. She was beginning to realise her relationship with Graham was different in many ways and this made her feel slightly jealous, so she was determined to prove herself wrong. She felt this indescribable force telling her she wanted to be like them. She left Graham's side to grab herself a drink and brought him another beer and when she returned, she was the most affectionate girlfriend she had been in a long time. He gratefully took the beer she had brought him and she sipped her own drink slowly as she stayed close to his side and started to reach up to kiss his neck.
Meanwhile, Anya and Spike were discussing their problems and drowning their sorrows together at the Bronze. They had been discussing how miserable they both were now that they didn't have their powers and Spike wished he hadn't taken all the killing for granted.
"It's a terrible thing, love is. I've been there myself" Spike said, not revealing that he was firmly there now. He had missed Saffron's company in his crypt and had been sleeping with the shirt that she had left in his hands that smelt of her. Whenever they 'accidentally' bumped into each other after dark she never seemed happy to talk to him for long. He wanted her back spending time with him. He didn't think that she was happy with Graham, and he thought they got on a lot better. Plus, she had confided in him first, hadn't she? Spike and Anya continued to discuss the nature of love and relationships as they nursed their drinks, trying their best not to think of the respective people they loved.
"Then there's nothing left but the vengeance. It's how it works" Anya concluded, feeling sorry for herself.
"That's if you can even get to the relationship in the first place" Spike muttered to himself, thinking of Saffron and taking a large drink from his glass. He thought about when he had explained what had happened when he had told the others about her. She had seemed to accept it,but she had left soon after. It hadn't been like before and she had barely visited him in his crypt anymore, which was what he had been worried would happen when everyone else found out. He wanted her to choose him. He knew he was in love with her now and he couldn't escape it. She was in his every thought.
xoxoxo
Graham was sat on a chair with a beer in his hand as Saffron sat on his lap with her arm around his neck. She was whispering in his ear and watching him as he talked to some other people she didn't know. Saffron was determined to be a good girlfriend and was trying her best to show Graham she appreciated him, although it felt a lot like acting which she didn't understand. She did enjoy playing her role as supporting girlfriend, however. She could feel the lust vibrating through her as Graham seemed to be enjoying her change in mood towards him. She smiled at this and continued to whisper to him. Saffron didn't see Spike walk in behind Anya, but Spike definitely saw her. He burned with jealousy as he watched the girl that he loved all over another man. No matter if the man was her boyfriend or not, it hurt. He soon learned that he was in the Initiative's house above where he had been experimented on. He kept to the side-lines, not taking his eyes off Saffron. It was like torture, but he found himself unable to look away. He tried to chat up a few girls to make himself feel better, but all he felt was hollow. He only wanted one girl and she hadn't even noticed he was there. He decided to drown his sorrows in more alcohol, courtesy of the soldier boys.
Saffron got up to replace their drinks, kissing Graham slowly on the lips before leaving. Spike could feel his heart drop at the way she kissed him. Saffron walked past the staircase where Willow and Tara were talking. She heard Tara say that Will was disgusting and ran off, she looked up wide-eyed. She quickly left her empty bottles on the side and ran up to see Willow who looked distraught on the stairs.
"What was that, Will?"
"I-I don't know. It was so strange" She sighed and Saffron could feel how upset she was. Saffron had heard the way she had said it, it must have stung Willow.
"Hey, don't worry, there'll be some kind of explanation" She rubbed her shoulder comfortingly. She knew Tara was completely besotted with Willow so there must be some kind of Sunnydale explanation for what just happened. She had observed that the house they had entered had a strange energy when she walked in but got too distracted by Graham to think about anything else. She stayed with Willow for a while before going back to get some drinks for her and Graham. Spike had been watching from the corner he was sulking in with his drink; his eyes still hadn't left her since he had arrived and he had been boiling over with resentment.
She was kissing Graham and when she moved away, she saw a familiar blonde vampire in the corner. He didn't seem to be enjoying the party and Saffron jerked awkwardly when she noticed that he was there. She moved from Graham's neck, still sat on his lap, she didn't understand why she would possibly be feeling so guilty. Their eyes met, but she couldn't hold his gaze for long. She looked away quickly and mentioned to Graham that she needed to go to the bathroom.
Graham had noticed Spike as soon as he had walked in behind Anya. He knew that if he made a scene and tried to take Hostile 17 into custody the sudden affection that he had been getting from Saffron would go. He had hoped one of his team would notice and stabilise him, but they were too busy drinking and having a good time. No matter where they were, he could feel the vampire watching them, he was sick of his obsession with his girl. He had seen it as soon as he had met him and had the argument with her. He hadn't mentioned anything to Saffron because he knew she'd just think he was being jealous and possessive, something she had told him to cool down on recently. Despite their recent distance, he had been enjoying that Saffron was showing him she wanted him, especially in front of the Hostile as it showed him that he didn't have a chance with her. He grinned smugly towards him as she had been kissing him, which Saffron had been completely unaware of.
On her way to the bathroom, Saffron bumped into the others who were all frantic. She hadn't noticed anything unusual as she had been too wrapped up in showing her affection to Graham. But as she looked around she could feel panic rising in the air. The others went to get Buffy and she ran over to Graham and Forrest who had started to make towards the stairs to sort out whatever was going on.
"Gray, I'll see you later" She finished, after explaining she was going to find Buffy. She batted her eyes at him, continuing her suggestive mood quickly before she turned to find her cousin and help fight whatever was going on.
"Touch not the impure thing. For ye shall perish. Find salvation in the cross of our Lord and Saviour" Graham recited as he stared hard at her, no emotion showing. He suddenly raised his hand and backhanded her with a lot of force. She was knocked to the ground and completely shaken as Forrest hauled Graham away to the Initiative. She reached up to feel her face, it was numb from the strike and she stayed there in shock as everyone was running around her. A hand reached over and grabbed her and hauled her to her feet. Spike. He had seen what had happened and managed to get out of his restraints in time to help her up and get her out of the house.
xoxoxo
They had managed to get out but they had realised that Buffy and Riley were still in there. Spike had made his speech realising he didn't have a reason to stay and help and stalked off. He did, however, briefly look back at Saffron as he questioned whether he should leave or not but carried on into the night. He was worried about the way she had been after Graham had hit her; she didn't seem to be in the moment with the rest of them but he tried to shrug it off as he walked away to find something to eat.
Xander got thrown out of the house and the rest of them decided that their best bet was to find Giles and that was how they ended up watching him singing in front of the packed café. Saffron was too wrapped in her own thoughts to remember that she wasn't supposed to show her face in this one, but nobody seemed to notice her anyway; everyone in the room was watching the man singing expertly at the front of the room.
"I'm with you, Xand. They're being gross" Saff spoke up for the first time since the house as she heard the others become enthralled by Giles' singing voice. Xander was appalled by the other women in the room as they seemed to be swooning over his singing. Saffron saw Giles as too much of a father figure to find him attractive in any way. Giles had noticed them and went over to see what they wanted as he looked around the room obviously embarrassed that they had witnessed his performance. Saffron noticed the earring he had but in his ear for the night and a hint of a smile could be seen on her face. The others quickly explained the situation and they all rushed off to do some research on the building and figure out their next move. After a quick look into the history of the building, they figured out that the house used to be a children's home and decided to visit the woman that used to look after the children in the home.
As they walked through the streets towards the house of the old woman, Saffron hung back behind the rest of them. She was still deep in thought. She barely noticed when Spike caught up to her and matched her pace. She did, however, feel better with his presence next to her and they walked together in silence until they reached the house.
"Come in, come in" Ms Holt beckoned the small group inside her apartment and insisted she was already awake for early morning prayers. She was delighted that they wanted to hear about her achievements looking after the children. Spike had smiled at the invitation and stepped inside with the rest of them. He stayed close to Saffron, he saw that her mood hadn't improved since he had left earlier, and she still appeared to be lost in her own thoughts. He wished he could comfort her, but he didn't know how. The woman kept mentioning her work with the children with pride and Saffron kept rolling her eyes which made the old woman look at her up and down in judgement.
Saffron snapped when she heard her use the word dirty. It reminded her of what Tara had said to Will at the party. It made sense to her now, all those emotions she couldn't quite feel. They were repressed. Unhappy. This woman was the reason all the children felt so horrible growing up. She got up from her chair and ran at the old woman, her fist was balled ready to punch her.
"You nasty bitch!" She spat as she tried to swing at the old woman. The others couldn't do anything except watch with their mouths slightly agape with shock. They had never seen Saff so violently angry, although they did understand her feelings as the woman in front of them was clearly not deserving of the medal she had received. Spike had sprung up and grabbed her by the waist to stop her from reaching the woman. Saffron struggled to get out of Spike's iron grip but he kept holding her back as Saffron continued to scream insults at the woman who sat back and shook her head at the girl. Saffron knew she wasn't strong enough to get Spike off her, so she reached down and took her heavy combat boot off of her foot and threw it with all her strength at the old woman as she shouted, "Pride is a sin, you holier than thou-" but she was cut off as Spike started to pull her towards the door of the apartment and got her outside, leaving the others to deal with the old woman. She had wanted to tell the woman that her pride in her work with the children and her stupid medal was a sin, but she didn't have a chance to make her point properly.
"You alright, hone-" Spike stopped himself, "Saffron?" he amended, knowing he needed to show he was being genuine.
"Uh, yeah. Sorry" She said putting her head in her hands and nodding slightly in response to Spike. It had been a long night.
"Don't need to be apologising to me, love. That old bint deserved it, way I see it. Would have done the same myself if I could" He shrugged.
"Thanks, Spike" She leaned against the wall, calming down after her outburst and hoping someone collected her shoe for her when they left.
"I thought I'd better stop you before you broke your fist or something" He smiled and this made her look up and laugh slightly as she knew she had never been the best at fighting. Giles and Buffy had both tried to give her basic training, which she had tried very hard to practice, but she always ended up not being very polished when she went in to attack anyone. Saffron and Spike stood together, until the others came back out and Giles passed Saffron her shoe as he had stormed out, clearly angry at the woman himself.
xoxoxo
Saffron had this weight pressing down on her, she could feel a fear that she couldn't shake. Today, it was her own. She was worried Buffy may die if she kept it up with Riley. They quickly walked towards Tara's room where they were going to see if they could contact the spirits. Spike followed them and nobody seemed to mention his presence, it was as if Saffron was the only one that acknowledged he was there. He didn't care, he was only there because of her. He looked at her as they walked up the stairs to Tara's dorm, he could see that she was worried for her cousin. He didn't care so much about the slayer himself, but he cared about Saffron. He could see her eyebrows furrowing as she was deep in thought since Giles mentioned Buffy could be in danger. He wanted to take her worry away, but he wasn't sure what to do. He reached out his hand and touched her shoulder. His touch was a lot gentler than she would have expected it to be and she took comfort in the gesture. She could feel an instant release of tension as she looked up to try to guess his intentions. They were walking behind the others and she looked over to see if they were watching them, she gave him a small smile and his hand lingered there before moving as they arrived at Tara's.
Spike had noticed her glance towards the others before smiling back at him. He realised that she was worried what they would think of them being friends and this made him frown. He went and sulked slightly in the corner of Tara's room as the others set up the spell and Xander and Anya grabbed some weapons. When they left the room, those that were left quickly lit some candles and the four of them prepared themselves for contacting the spirits. Saffron always worried when she was involved in spells as in Sunnydale, there's always a tendency for it to blow up in her face. Sometimes, literally. They sat in a circle around a small table and Tara instructed them all to hold hands. Saffron was sat between Tara and Giles and went to hold their hands. When her hand touched Tara's, there was an icy feeling throughout her whole body and it made her jump as they both snatched their hands away. They shared a look and Saffron nodded slightly to show she trusted her and to try holding hands again. When their hands contacted this time there was a cold feeling but it was bearable. Spike narrowed his eyes between the two women and wondered what was going on. Tara spoke directly to the spirits and asked them to bring forth their emotions and speak directly to them.
Spike was in the corner, watching them intently. He had stopped sulking and leaned in to watch Saffron more closely. She was focusing on speaking to the spirits, and he noticed she was still nervous. Something was going on with the witch that lived in the room too, Saffron could feel something when they held hands. He was in deep thought when the children appeared. Saffron started visibly shaking as she could feel so much anguish and emotional turmoil from the children. It was excruciating. She held on to Giles and Tara's hands for grim death, her grip so tight her knuckles were white. She wanted to help them, but it was hurting her to feel everything they were subjected to. Her eyes filled with tears and that's when Spike jumped up and tried to grab her out of the circle. He couldn't watch her getting upset like that for any longer.
"You can't break the circle!" They all looked directly at him and spoke at the same time. Spike backed off as if he had been smacked away by a large, invisible hand. He sat on the floor in a daze and watched as Saffron closed her eyes, releasing some stray tears, and spoke to the room.
"I know you are hurting, but your pain here is temporary. Let us be the balm that soothes. There's a chance for you all. You need to pass over" She spoke directly to the souls of the children, trying to reach them desperately. She could feel that they were conflicted at her words and wanted to believe, but they couldn't trust her. That bitch. Saffron thought about how that woman had damaged them as Tara started to speak up. All at once, the table flew across the room and broke against the wall. The children had left and the circle had been broken. Everyone was worried about Xander and Anya.
Eventually, they got a call from the others at the house to tell them that everyone was safe. Saffron was tired, she could barely stand on her own and she had had just about enough of feeling so weak because of how much she felt. It wasn't an ability, as Giles so enthusiastically called it, when all it did was hinder her life. She said her goodbyes and left to walk to her dorm. She got halfway down the hall when she felt someone was watching her from behind. She swung around to see that Spike was not-so-subtly following her.
"What are you doing?"
"I was, uh, reading these" He pointed at the flyers, one of which Saffron had made herself to encourage people to see her for Tarot readings. He wasn't very convincing.
"You want to read about…" Saffron made a show of looking at the noticeboard, "The Hawaiian themed summer social?"
"Thought I'd drop in" He shrugged keeping up his pretence.
"You know, you did pull off the Hawaiian shirt... although I don't plan on going – Hawaiian themed summer social? It's like having a Christmas themed Winter social" She shrugged and smiled at him, "Would you mind walking with me to my dorm?" Spike smirked at her and puffed out his chest with a macho arrogance that he just about got away with. He was satisfied now that she had asked him to walk with her, it beats walking behind her a few paces in the shadows.
He sauntered beside her, not sure what to say. He felt almost happy in her presence. It had been a long time since he had noticed that in himself. Real happiness. He kept starting conversations, things to say to her in his head but decided to just keep quiet in case he ruined it.
"You know, in the movies, the man that has been asked to walk the very attractive leading lady to the door usually says something witty to try and get himself into her apartment" She joked, looking at him to see what he would reply.
"Not interested, love" He smirked and winked to embarrass her that she had expected him to come into her room.
"Says the man prowling down the corridor after me" She huffed. He didn't say anything to this, he didn't have an excuse and she knew it. He did find himself smiling to himself that she had called him a man. They got to Saffron's room quickly. Too quickly, both of them thought to themselves. Spike leaned against the door frame and smirked as Saff leaned her back against the door. They stared at each other for a while, neither of them having to say anything. However, this was the point where Hayley started to unlock the door and Saffron started to stumble backwards but caught herself quickly.
"Oops! Sorry I didn't know you had company" she squeaked, not able to see Spike properly in the dimly lit corridor but she could tell someone was there. Spike quickly said something about leaving and Saffron said bye before entering her dorm behind Hayley.
"That wasn't Graham!" Hayley squealed and put her hands up to her face in a dramatic attempt at shock. Saffron sat down and explained everything that had happened that night. Well, everything that had happened minus the haunted house, the summoning circle they had used to detect the spirits and the fact that her cousin shagging Riley was battery operating the whole situation. But she did explain what had happened with Graham and how Spike had been there for her. They stayed up to talk it over almost all night and she really appreciated Hayley's advice. She was so grateful that she had Hayley to talk to. Hayley was strongly convinced Saff needed to dump Graham but she was having trouble explaining that he wasn't quite himself when it had happened.
xoxoxo
The gang were having breakfast together the next morning, they had managed to squeeze around one table with their meals. Buffy was questioning them about Giles' singing as she seemed horrified at the idea. This had made Saffron smile at her cousin. Riley and Buffy were sat together and Saff noticed that both of them felt content with the other as they held hands on the table during the discussion. Anya and Xander had made up after their argument and were more in love than ever. Saffron liked watching her friends all loved up, their emotions were softer and had a pleasant edge that made her happy for them. Saffron couldn't help but think about Spike. She felt his absence more than she ever had before and found herself wanting him to be a part of her day more and more. She didn't know why, but she wished he was here at the table too.
"You have to admit, it was kinda sexy" Willow said about Giles' singing that they had witnessed.
"Will, babe, it really wasn't" Saffron patted Willows arm.
"Yeah, please stop saying that. I'm willing to offer cash incentives" Xander agreed. They were all discussing what had happened the night before while Riley and Buffy couldn't stop having sex at the party. Saffron had told Willow what had happened with Graham at the party and she was glad that she could talk to her. Willow helped her feel better about it, she knew it must have been part of the haunting as it was so out of character for him. But she was still finding it hard to meet and talk to him about it.
"Saff, Graham says he's sorry he couldn't make it this morning. Is everything okay with him?" Riley asked as Will looked at Saffron with concern.
"Uh, yeah. Things got a bit scary back there. We haven't really spoken since" Saffron looked uncomfortable so Riley dropped the subject, he decided instead to ask Graham later what he had missed.