Chapter 13:

Saffron was shuffling her Tarot cards slowly, her mind was on other things as she stared into the distance. Flashes of pink nail polish, that Hayley had insisted she painted so that they matched, could be seen as she kept shuffling her cards expertly. She had been enjoying breaking in the new pack that Willow had bought her. She decided she should pick out a card to see if she needs to hear anything. Ten of Swords. This represents a large betrayal that will affect the way you continue. There is the possibility of a loss, specifically a loss of trust. There may be a crisis in the next few weeks that is caused by this betrayal and the wounds shall be deep. This can be prevented, but the option must be presented in time. Saffron was worried about this one. She had an opportunity to change something, but she didn't know what. She was deep in thought about this for a while before a ring from the bell attached to the door interrupted her assessment of the reading. She smiled when she saw who entered to store, she expected it to be the manager that had left for a coffee two hours ago.

"Hi there, is there a specific book you were looking for? Vampire romance novel perhaps?" Saffron smiled at her cousin as she offered her a book from the top of the pile on the counter before offering another, "'My lover, the soldier' has just come out in paperback I think". Buffy put her hands on her hips as she showed her cousin that she wasn't finding it funny. However, Buffy still continued to walk over to sit on a comfy chair near the counter.

"Won't the boss majorly wig if he sees you annoying customers?" Buffy replied as she flipped a book open and coughed at the dust.

"You want a coffee or something, Buff?" She asked, realising Buffy wasn't going anywhere fast.

"Nah, I'm only dropping in" She stared at the book for too long before asking slowly, "Did you know about Willow?"

"That she's gay? Yeah, she told me about Tara. It's not a big deal, Buff. She's the same Willow she's always been"

"I know it was just a, uh, shock" Buffy said carefully as she dusted her hands off from the book and stared at her palms with a look of disgust at all of the dust.

"I know, but one day it'll be the most normal thing" Saff smiled at her cousin, "You will barely remember a day that Willow didn't like girls"

"I guess" Buffy nodded in agreement, still coming to terms with her best friend's revelation. "Hey, we never spoke properly about that emphatic prophecy thing that Giles keeps mentioning"

"It's empathic, Buff" She laughed fondly at her cousin, "although he has been emphatic that I listen to what the prophecy says and study it" Saffron continued, adding a fake yawn at the end for emphasis. She twisted her ring in thought, she didn't know why she kept making up any excuse she could not to hear about the prophecy. She found it ironic how she always knew what everyone else was feeling but struggled to pinpoint her own emotions at times. It was as if she believed that if she ignored the prophecy that it wouldn't be true.

"You should probably listen to him, Saff. He's usually right about these things" Buffy shrugged as if learning there's an important prophecy written about you and your destiny was something that happened every day. Well, I guess to Buffy it is normal. She thought and frowned as she wondered how Buffy managed so well with everything that gets thrown at her. Buffy mentioned how everyone had seemed off with her when she had seen them earlier and she didn't understand why. There was a tension among them all and Saffron could feel that Buffy was feeling hurt about something that had been said. Saffron didn't press her for information, she just listened to Buffy as she explained what she was feeling. She also mentioned that she felt that she was always watching everyone else's backs as well as her own when she was fighting. Saffron wasn't offended by what Buffy said, she was glad Buff could talk so freely with her, and she was often the first to admit her combat skills were pretty much non-existent. "Anyway, what's the sitch with Graham?"

"He bought me white Orchids the other week" Saff sighed as if this meant something and Buffy just stared with a confused look plastered over her face. Saff rolled her eyes and explained, "Orchids are the flower of death, Buff. They're funeral flowers and I hate them"

"Did he know you didn't like the flowers of death?" Buffy asked genuinely, remembering that Saffron's parents had orchids at their funeral and mentally kicked herself for forgetting. Saffron thought about it carefully before shaking her head as she wasn't sure if she had mentioned it. Spike knows I hate them, she thought to herself silently. She decided to explain what had been going on properly, her and Buffy used to share everything, and she wanted to carry on after keeping the empath news to herself for so long.

"Uh I've been avoiding him. Especially since the Initiative and plus, he hit me, Buff" She said awkwardly, "I know it wasn't real. It was that evil bitch that ran the place, but even before that… that spark it's not there" Buffy frowned at what she said, wishing her cousin was happier.

"You've always been a romantic, Saff" Buffy replied, giving her a fond smile from where she was sat. Saffron had always been a contradiction, she acted like she didn't care but she was someone that cared more than anyone else. She was such a romantic but acted as if she didn't need that in a relationship.

"Tell no one" She glared and pointed a finger at Buffy as if she was threatening her and there was a slight pause before both of them fell into a fit of giggles. Buffy stayed until it was time for her to leave for her class and she promised to meet up with Saff later.

xoxoxo

Saffron was sitting in Spike's crypt, she was casually flicking the ash of her cigarette and watching tv with him. She wasn't paying much attention, but Spike was engrossed, which made her smile when she looked over at the man she had been spending much more time with again. Her dream was still in the forefront of her mind as she watched him smile slightly at something that happened in the soap opera. She was happy in his company, but today there was a strange feeling that she couldn't describe. She had told him about Buffy and the others weren't getting on like usual and she had mentioned tensions were running higher than normal and he hadn't really seemed interested. Usually he enjoyed hearing when her cousin wasn't happy about something. Strange. Her thoughts changed back to Spike and the way she had felt in that dream. Something popped into her head that she had never thought to ask before and she couldn't help herself asking.

"That night, the night we met… why did you kiss me before you bit me?" She asked suddenly, with a frown of confusion on her face.

"Did I?" Spike said, not looking up from the tv. He shifted almost uncomfortably in the chair.

"You did, Spike" She asked, expectantly. There was a silence as Spike seemed to be considering the best way to explain his thought process that night. For a long time, he wasn't sure himself.

"Well, uh, as soon as I saw you-" He started, before shaking his head and started to think about it again, "I was gonna turn you, love" He finally admitted, looking over to her. She was shocked, she didn't know what that meant to him. She decided to try and cover her shock with humour.

"You were gonna make me 17 forever? Man, I would have resented you, I'd never have been able to order a decent drink" She smiled, thinking about how different she was now and how much had happened since. He shrugged and turned back to the tv, he didn't know what else could be said. She started to mention Buffy again and the feeling happened again. She noticed Spike shifting slightly away from her and that's when she knew. It hit her in the gut. The feeling was deception. Betrayal.

"It's you!" She jumped up from where she was sat and pointed at him dramatically. She hadn't wanted to admit it to herself before, stupid gut feeling's always right, she grumbled to herself.

"What's me, love?" He feigned innocence.

"The ten of swords! It's you! Of course it's bloody you" She looked up and rolled her eyes at herself as if it was obvious.

"I don't have the foggiest what you're banging on about, Honeysuckle" He said as he stood up himself and took a step towards her, but she backed away from him quickly. He stood still, his head to the side as he watched her get more annoyed.

"You're betraying us! You're like, uh, what's his name? Judas!" She pointed again for emphasis when she remembered his name, "You're stabbing us in the back, Spike! You're lying to us all"

"I just want my sodding life back! I want to feel the fear of the innocent…" He admitted, before he stopped himself, realising this particular argument wouldn't convince her, "Uh, I just want to feel like myself again"

"You're dead, Spike. Your life's long gone!" She pointed out, frowning at him from across the room.

"Love, I'm only helping that big lummox to get this damned chip out" He pointed and tapped his head in frustration. She shook her head at his reference to Adam. How could she have trusted him? She was mad at herself for seeing the good in him. She was so angry with him her voice started to get higher pitched, she couldn't stop it. He had hurt her.

"And then what? You kill my cousin? Ruin all my friends' lives? Turn me?" She flung her arms out to emphasise her words, "Do you really think I could stand an eternity with you after that?" She snapped at him, she wanted him to see that this isn't the only way. He could barely look at her, he hated it when she was disappointed with him. They stood there, staring at each other. He felt that awful feeling again. That guilt. Her expression softened slightly, as if she could feel it, "Do the right thing, Spike" then she shook her head as she left the crypt and slammed the door shut behind her.

xoxoxo

It was dark out and Saffron decided to walk to Xander's and see if he wanted to hang out, that is if he and Anya weren't having sex, again. She needed to find someone that she could explain what had happened with Spike and she knew Xander was firmly in the 'I hate Spike' club, so she decided to go to him first. If he hadn't been turned against her, that is. She wrapped her leather jacket around her and lit up a cigarette as she walked through the campus and onto the main streets of Sunnydale. Spike, who had been stood outside of her dorm, had seen her leave and didn't know whether to go after her or not.

She had been walking for about ten minutes when she felt the emotions of someone near her. The intentions weren't bad, but the emotions were very strong. They felt like they had been there for a long time, unchanged and festering. They reminded her of someone she knew.

"Angel?" She asked, a frown on her face as she squinted into the darkness, "Is that you?"

"What gave it away?" He said stepping out of the shadows and into the light of a street lamp. It lit him up like a spotlight.

"Might be the very tall vampire following me through the streets" She replied quickly, not sure if she wanted to reveal that she could feel the most intense sorrow and guilt she had ever felt in her life and had instantly thought of him. "I thought you were brooding on the streets of L.A, what brings you into town? Could it be a girl, perhaps?" Saffron smiled as he stepped towards her and he looked off into the distance. She could tell that he missed her cousin, she could feel it. If she was honest, despite the constant heartache on both sides, she had preferred it when Angel was around. When he wasn't evil, that is.

"You know, Giles has been in touch" He said after a silence, where he had appeared to be in deep thought. Probably about Buffy, Saff thought to herself.

"Never saw either of you as great pals if I'm honest" Saff shrugged.

"He, uh, was in touch with Wes actually" He conceded.

"Never saw those two as very good friends either" She continued, thinking back to when Wesley had replaced Giles as Buffy's watcher. She had never been a fan of Wesley either if she was being honest.

"It was more a collaboration of information. He was asking about The True Sight, ever heard of it?" He asked slowly, dissecting her reaction closely.

"Rings a bell, probably couldn't write you an essay on it though" She said lightly, as if it didn't mean much to her.

"Saffron, it's about you. Your empathetic capacity is, according to Wes, unprecedented and you need to take it seriously"

"I'll have a think about it and get back to you on that one" She smiled at him, valuing his seeming concern even if it was probably because she was Buffy's relation.

"If you ever need to get away from the Hellmouth, you're always, uh, welcome in L.A" Angel looked slightly embarrassed as he said this, although she could tell he meant it. He started to turn away before she stopped him.

"Hey, Angel. That means a lot, I might take you up on that one day" She nodded at him and hugged him to his surprise and Angel didn't know what to do in return, so he just let her hug him, "Watch out for the Commandos walking around like they own the place, they don't discriminate on the basis of souls either" She warned him as she moved out of the hug and watched him leave as he thanked her for the warning.

Spike had been watching the encounter from a distance, when he saw that his grandsire was in town he had rolled his eyes. Peaches. He didn't realise that Angel and Saffron had gotten on well enough for a conversation, what with all the damage Angelus had caused. He could feel a twinge of jealousy as he watched them interact. He had kept a large distance away so that Angel couldn't tell that he was there, which meant even with his vampire hearing he was having trouble catching the conversation. He watched her hug him and couldn't stop a low growl rumbling from the back of his throat. Does she hug every bugger she meets? He thought to himself, sulking that she wouldn't even go near him because of what he'd done. He had made up his mind then, he knew what he needed to do. He stalked off into the opposite direction and into the night.

xoxoxo

Xander hadn't been in the night before and Saffron had been busy all day with a long shift at the bookshop. She hadn't had a chance to warn anyone that Spike had been up to his old tricks, so when she walked into Giles' to everyone seemingly working in silence she hoped everything had already been sorted out. This, however, was not the case. She went and looked over Willow's shoulder to see how the decryption was coming along, Saff couldn't really tell so she just nodded and walked over to Giles who was having a drink. Buffy asked how long Willow would take and that's what started it all. Buffy ended up insisting she would go back to fight Adam alone as she didn't want the others in the way.

"Guys-" Saffron started to try to explain about Spike before being interrupted by the others telling Buffy she couldn't go back to fight Adam alone.

"He'll kick your arse" Giles said loudly, and Saffron turned to him and realised he was completely hammered. She took the glass off him with a slight struggle.

"I'm cutting you off, G"

"You can't bloody well tell me what to do, young lady" Giles said, pointing a finger in Saffron's face.

"I'm not trying to. I'll make you a coffee, okay?" She didn't take what he was saying personally and confiscated the alcohol, to his annoyance, she then started making some coffee in the kitchen. While she was gone, tensions were rising even more as she heard Xander shouting about being sent to the army which Saffron didn't understand, but knew it was something to do with Spike. She brought a mug of coffee for Giles and handed it to him. He started to take a sip but got distracted by something someone said and started laughing hysterically. The arguments continued as Willow caught something Buffy mentioned.

"'Witch stuff?' What exactly do you mean by 'witch stuff'?" Willow shouted and Saffron realised what Spike had implied to her and Tara. This angered her as Will had been so nervous to tell Buffy.

Saffron started trying to shout over them to get their attention, but no one was listening. She looked for Tara to see if she could get someone to help her, but she had disappeared with Anya. She was getting frustrated now.

There was a loud knock at the door and Saffron was the only one that had heard it. Everyone else was still shouting over each other and she had given up trying to make them listen and had just sat in the corner. She opened the door to reveal Spike in the doorway. The reason for all of this mess.

"You twat!" She slapped Spike in the face. "You made Tara and Willow feel horrible about being gay, Xander thinks he's useless and Buffy-" she went to hit him again but he grabbed her wrist before she made contact with his face.

"I'm here to make it right, Saff" He said, still holding her wrist. He didn't blame her for hitting him, it hadn't hurt but he could tell she'd put all her strength behind it.

"How can I tell you're not lying again?"

"You have my word, love" He looked down, knowing that didn't mean much anymore, before adding "That, and you can tell if I'm fibbing. Well? Am I?" She thought for a moment and took the discs off him silently. "They'll decrypt automatically, I was supposed to swap them earlier but-" She turned back to the room to see that everyone was still shouting, except Giles; he seemed to have gone upstairs, leaving his steaming hot coffee on the side. She silently nodded, acknowledging that she was grateful to him before she closed the door on him.

"Stop it!" Saff screamed at the top of her lungs, slamming the discs down on the table, "This is what's going down…"