Author's Note: The "Thank You" campaign in Variety was the best thing ever. Even better than the actual award incredibly.

Chapter 2: Fast Car

Since there were no reins on what we had and I was damn worried about rodeo boy I decided to go ahead and try to put the reins on and saddle it in. I really do belong to him and no other man interested me one bit. I just said I was scared of tire irons and hatred and all the rest of that shit but one thing scared me even more than all of that. Jack. Yep, he did. I never had love like the way he showed it. All clumsy, fierce and alive. The people that are supposed to love you in life kinda left me on empty so when Jack came around fillin me up like water to a vase I didn't know how to react. I ain't much for happy, and Jack really makes me happy. So when I said I'd be with him I guess I really was gonna take it nice and slow like. To be honest, I really didn't think we were gonna make it. Beautiful things never last y'know? Sunsets only stickin around a few minutes and all that other shit I think about yet never say out loud. Living a life that is considered sinful and ugly was...is...no, was the hardest thing I had ever come to terms with. You think it was lovin Jack but if you've been with Jack for less than a day you'd know like I know that lovin him was the easy part. On that day, the reality of living with another man (by choice, not like in prison or the military) set upon my fool head.

Ennis sat on the motel bed shirtless and barefoot only clad in blue denim waiting for Jack to return after making his phone calls to Lureen. Ennis' own head nearly swam with the fact that Jack simply dropped everything just cause the mere possibility of being with him was open to Jack and not from the fact he was nursing a moderate hangover. He thought over his options as his stomach groaned a bit. He thought about getting lunch while Jack was out but decided to hold off so they could get lunch together. He admitted Jack's idea of getting a ranch and running it together was pretty sweet but Ennis also knew he had no idea how to run a business like that and didn't want to shovel in a truckload of money in a gaping wide hole right at the start of his second meaningful relationship. He then promptly amended that last night wasn't even the start of his prolonged, sometimes happy, sometimes painful association with Jack Fucking Twist. He was moving into a new phase with him and that made his stomach churn even more. He gave a sigh and wished that Jack didn't take off with his pack of smokes when he went to the pay phone. He laid down on the crumpled, smelly bed rolling back and forth on it with his thoughts.

Are people gonna hurt us or leave us be?

How am I gonna hide us from the rest of the town?

How am I gonna support us on minimum wage?

I'll bet he'll hate my place. God knows I do sometimes.

Well, hey, maybe together we can make it look like someone decent lives there.

Is it fair to Jack that he's getting saddled with my big ass pile of debt?

Can I really make him happy?

At this point Ennis heard the sound of the motel door unlocking. Jack came in with a brown paper bag and from what it smelled like it was full of fried chicken. Jack had a very sheepish look on his face as he closed the door.

"Thought you might like to eat in for today so I got us that carry out stuff."

"Considerate."

"Yep."

Jack put the food all out on a little table between the two beds and sat on the other untouched bed. He told Ennis about the phone call he made to Lureen who chewed him out about leaving the truck somewhere on the highway and leaving her and Bobby to contend with no mode of transportation. He also got yelled at for the initial instantaneous getaway to Riverton which ultimately led to him being in Lawton, Oklahoma for no good reason. He then said he told her he wanted a divorce and that she told him she'd have his clothes packed for him when he got back around to Childress.

"What about your boy?" Ennis asked.

"Tell him later when the papers are ready, I guess."

"Does she know?"

"Not carin at this stage."

"Alright."

When their lunch was finished Jack was feeling horny again but Ennis needed to make calls of his own. As Ennis was getting dressed he let Jack in on his concerns.

"Why don't we just live at my place for a bit? I don't think I'm ready to move on from Riverton yet and we shouldn't just take such a large risk as the first thing we do when we're together. Y'know, all our eggs in one basket?"

"Ain't the first thing we've done together."

"I'm not ready yet. I need to sort out my life first." Ennis said as he put his socks on wishing desperately that Jack would let him have this. Jack put his hands through his hair and gave a sigh. He expected something like this, but unfortunately he also had to agree.

"I do have a little stash of my own money that I saved up for my ranch, but I think I want a bigger nest egg up first in case we don't hit the black." Jack said.

Not to mention I don't know how to run a business Ennis thought as he put his shoes on. Jack had a worn look on his face like a man who never reached his own expectations. Just before Ennis put his jacket on Jack gave a small grin in spite of it all.

"Tomcat, whatcha thinkin?" Ennis asked as he was buttoning up.

"I get to see your place after all this time."

"Nothin special."

"It's where you are. What's important to you is there."

"What's important to me is right here. I'll be back." Ennis said rather abruptly. Do you really want this rodeo? I don't even get regular meals anymore. It ain't like two guys playin house. People in town jeering 'lookit those queers in the shack' would be the least of my worries. Ennis left the room and went down the street to the phone booth to take care of his business. Ennis discovered that he was out of a job now but it wasn't anything he did, everyone lost their jobs as the ranch he worked on went under. As the dial tone sounded when Ennis hung up he now really was shaking even though it was just a job to him. All the complaints Alma lodged against him in his marriage now savagely boomeranged back in Ennis' skull hard. No prospects, no education, no future for a lonely cowboy and his man.

"Okay, get a hold of yerself del Mar! Let's just move along home and take things from there. I'm not a lone wolf in any case." Ennis said to himself. He then almost had a hysterical fit with the image of him forking over food stamps to the grocer but he bit his mouth to keep from laughing. Except it wasn't funny. He needed to go get some whiskey. Fast. At the liquor store the lady behind the counter was making some friendly, flirty talk which Ennis engaged in kindly. As he took his bag out to the truck he began the same obsessive train of thought that plagued him since that first summer at Brokeback Mountain. I'm full tilt normal. So why do I love Jack so much like I'm gonna break? Ennis caught many womenfolk's attention, which made him smile. Women still made him hard, but all his time with Jack quickened his blood times ten. And it was exclusively Jack that did it for him, other men put him off sex just like before. Just before he went back to the hotel he had to fill up his truck with gas for the long trip back to Riverton. He snorted as he shoved the gas pump in the tank thinking it would be about the same deal when he got back to Jack. He thought back when he was at his house and was remembering the sound of Jack's laughter which led up to this moment in a gas station far from home. Paying for the gas and steeling himself up, Ennis went back to the man who meant something in his barren life. Upon opening the door to the motel room he noticed it was dark so he closed the door. When his eyes adjusted to the light he was greeted with the sight of a stark naked Jack on the bed with his hat covering up his crotch.

"Howdy." was all Jack said for a moment. Then both men just cracked up.

When Jack went back to his residence both Lureen and Bobby were out apparently having dinner with Lureen's dad if the note she left was anything to go by. He wanted to do it in the empty house but Ennis put his foot down against it as it was a Bad Idea. The relative class gulf between the two men made Ennis uneasy again after seeing what life Jack was giving up but Jack just picked up his box of belongings and left a letter for Bobby. He told Ennis that he'd explain things to Bobby in person when things we're finalized. Ennis just shrugged.

"Just do things in yer own time. Less clumsy that way." Jack nodded. He also noted Ennis didn't say 'it'll hurt less'.

The drive back to Riverton was very pleasant and relaxed compared to the drive from Childress to Lawton. If they could cram cloud nine inside the truck Jack would have been sitting on it while playing his harmonica which unfortunately for Ennis, Jack brought along. They made it past the halfway point to Wyoming and Ennis really got to know Jack as Jack just babbled on about anything and everything almost an all time high of inane chatter coming from him which Ennis realized, because Jack was happy.

"...and no one accused me of grabbing a bull's balls ever again."Jack finished proudly. Ennis really wondered how Jack ever got along without someone to talk sense into him. He just gave Jack a half lopsided grin.

"How'd you deal with your truck back on the side of the road?" Poof, there went cloud nine right out the window.

"Ah...uh, shit. I didn't."Jack confessed.

"Goddamnit, its just still hanging out there?"

"I dunno. Didn't see it when we drove back so it slipped my mind."

"Someone may of took off with it." Just then a roadhouse saloon could be seen in the distance. "Why not call Lureen at that place up there?" Jack nodded looking mighty embarrassed. Serves em right. Ennis thought. One thing at the "Red Cap" Ennis noticed right off the bat was a very large amount of motorcycles up front. It made him uneasy though he didn't know why. If they didn't bother any of them there's no way they would cause any trouble for two nomad cowboys. When they went inside though a different story was told. As Jack went to the back to use the pay phone the fourteen or fifteen bikers that lounged at the place seemed to hone in on both of them. Ennis felt like he had a large "Faggot" sign that he and Jack were carrying on their persons. He ordered a couple of drinks at the bar and got into some easy conversation with some ratty looking bikers.

"So how long you guys known each other?"

"Quite a long while now."

"Anything serious?"

"Looking to own a business."

"That so?" Ennis stomach really lurched when he discovered a truth he didn't know about before he went into the bar. It really dawned upon him when he saw the small crowd that gathered around him when he was talking.

These men were checking him out like a piece of cattle!