Chapter 24:

Saffron had reluctantly agreed to go with the rest of the group to keep Riley company on patrol. Dawn had taken charge of the household chores so this was Saff's turn to take up the slack since Buffy had been staked by a vampire. The only problem she had with it was that Riley would be there. She wasn't his biggest fan. The night was cold and she was wearing a long, dark coat and a dark green scarf. She wanted to be in the Bronze, not out here following Captain thinks-he's-right around. Saffron was crunching loudly and laughing at the joke that Willow had just whispered to her. Her laugh was loud and contagious as Willow and Anya fell into more fits of laughter. Xander grabbed the massive bag of chips off her and emptied the remnants of the pack into his mouth.

Riley looked back from where he had been stealthily tracking the vampires. His frown was as clear as day and Saffron could tell that the others didn't need her empath senses to feel that he was annoyed with them. Saffron grabbed the other bag of chips from Willow and crunched extra loud, staring at Riley the whole time. She wanted to make sure he knew she didn't respect him, especially after he snitched on her to Buffy. He tensed his jaw and stalked over and grabbed the bag from her hand and dumped it on the floor. She glared at him, she took a step towards him. If she really did have laser beams in her eyes, as Harmony once thought, she would have burnt him to a crisp.

"I was eating those crisps, you stupid lap dog" she hissed at him. Riley took a step forwards, a glint of anger in his eye at the assumption she saw him as Buffy's pet. The others watched on, not sure what was going on or why there was this animosity between them. Riley looked like he wanted to hit her, so Xander spoke up quickly.

"Woah can we cool the tension?" Xander asked, stepping in front of Saffron to cut between the two of them who wouldn't back down.

"Yeah I was about to get my tension-cutting knife out" Willow added with a little sawing motion, and Saffron turned to smile at her.

"Do you have one of those? I can imagine it is very rare and valuable! Mostly it's used as a figure of speech" Anya stated as Willow rolled her eyes. Saffron linked her arm with Willow, like they used to in high school as they followed Riley who kept making army-style hand movements to them all as if they knew what he was saying. He ran and crouched behind a gravestone as the rest of them stood awkwardly looking at each other to see if anyone knew what he meant. Riley sighed and beckoned them over to him and Saffron replied by putting her middle finger up at him and smiling sweetly, revealing her dark green nail polish that she had matched with the scarf she had worn for the patrol. He glared back at her and the others tried to hide their smiles at what Saffron had done as they walked over to where he was crouched. Saffron refused to do what he said and crouch down, instead standing stubbornly with her arms crossed over her chest.

Out of nowhere, a vampire came barrelling towards her and tackled her to the ground, pinning her underneath him. He wore a dirty biker jacket that he must have been buried in, judging by the state of it and he had two intricately coiled snake tattoos starting from his neck that weaved onto his face. He had already changed into his game face as he pinned her but even without being a vampire, you wouldn't want to meet him in a dark alley if he was angry.

"Guys! Come on, there's a whole entrée out here!" The vampire shouted, in a surprisingly well-spoken voice, towards the mausoleum they had been waiting outside of. Shit. Saffron started to struggle and the vampire laughed as she couldn't get herself free. She looked over at the others helplessly, hating that she always seemed to get into situations like this. The damsel in distress look wasn't her favourite. Riley grabbed the vampire and hauled him off Saffron and started to trade blows with him. Saffron got herself up and ran at the vampire with the stake she couldn't reach when she had been pinned to the ground. Riley pulled her behind him before he reached the vamp and quickly dusted him.

"Hey! I fucking had him" Saffron shoved Riley's shoulder in annoyance and felt his disappointment at her words like it had slapped her across the face. She winced and shoved her hands in her pockets quickly, as if that would hide her guilt.

"Of course," Riley replied, his jaw tensing.

"Uh, I meant… you know, thanks" She conceded, not looking up at him. Part of her didn't want to give him the satisfaction, but mostly she was just embarrassed. Luckily, the nest of vampires that they discovered in the mausoleum hadn't heard their friend shout them over the music they were loudly playing. They decided to return later with back up and Saffron suggested they go out instead, suggesting to willow that one beer wouldn't hurt.

While the others were tracking the nest of vampires with Riley, Buffy had paid a visit to her least favourite, and extremely harmless vampire. She wrenched the door of the crypt off its hinges and stepped over it to walk into the dingy crypt he called his home. She stormed towards him with purpose and punched him until she had him backed against the wall. She turned him to face her and began her proposition.

"You're tellin me, you want my casual point of view on how I slaughtered the slayers in cold blood?" spike jibed, not having any other way of hurting her. Buffy nodded and waited. She wouldn't be doing this if she had another choice.

"Stop with the banter, continue with the information" She prompted him impatiently after he didn't reply.

"You know, Saffron was lucky to get away with just the fleeting memory of our passionate nights together. Maybe I should tell you the sordid details of that first?" He smirked, wanting to get under the slayer's skin some more.

"I'm not here to talk about Saff. You're right, she was lucky to get away before you corrupted her and ruined her life. You will never be the man for her. You're not even a man, so stop trying to distract me and tell me what you know" Buffy let him go and crossed her arms, showing him she was bored of him now. He was hurt by what she said, he had been insecure since he had first noticed Saffron had been hiding their friendship from the others and it had only grown since they had to keep up the pretence as lovers. He sighed, knowing he was going to end up helping the slayer. She would want him to.

"Wings" He said finally.

"Huh?"

"I'll tell all if you buy me some chicken wings… or, uh, one of those onion flowers" He explained. She rolled her eyes at him, asking herself what Saffron could have ever seen in him. He stared at the slayer for a long time and saw her in a way he never had before. He could see the similarities between her and Saffron. The area around their eyes was similar and the shape of their jaw lines, although Saffron seemed to look more like Dawn. Maybe it's the hair. He had never noticed the similarities before, he only ever had eyes for Saffron and Buffy usually punched him too many times for his eyes to focus on what she looked like. Seeing how similar they looked made it slightly easier for him to agree to tell her. That, and he enjoyed bragging about his past exploits and the slayers he had killed. He had tried to impress Saff with the stories once, but she said she wanted to watch the movie instead, he hadn't brought it up again. He had just held her close while she watched the girly flick that was on, glad she wasn't repulsed enough to leave his side. He could tell it hurt her conscience to hear how he had killed so many in cold blood but he couldn't be ashamed of it even with her reaction.

xoxoxo

Saffron had ended up parting ways with the others as something in her was telling her she needed to go to the café. She ordered her usual coffee and took out her pack of tarot cards that she brought everywhere with her. She started to shuffle them and lay a reading for herself out on the table. She hadn't noticed how much she had missed doing readings like this and she hoped at least one person came along for a reading despite her not advertising that she would be there. She had gained a reputation now though, most people recognised her by sight as someone that could read their fortune. She lit up a cigarette and let the voice in her head explain what the card meant. She inhaled and closed her eyes. Saffron only stayed for a couple of hours before packing away her cards. She decided to walk home via the Bronze, to see if anyone was still there.

As she walked through the streets towards the Bronze she felt a strange feeling. Something was happening and she felt she needed to know what it was. It was playing on her mind as she walked on the road that the Bronze was on.

"You're beneath her" Buffy stated. A cold look in her eyes as she threw a pile of notes on Spike who had been pushed to the ground. Spike sniffled and quickly collected all the notes that lay around him as Buffy walked off into the night. Saffron turned the corner and caught a glimpse of Buffy leaving and saw Spike still sat on the floor, staring at the wad of notes in his hand. He looked upset and Saffron rushed over and knelt beside him.

"Hey, what's the view like from down here?" She said as she knelt and looked around, as if for the view she mentioned. Spike just continued to stare at the notes for a while. Saffron stayed next to him, her hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him both with her touch and her abilities. Suddenly he shrugged her off his shoulder and got to his feet. She looked hurt but knew something was wrong. She slowly stood herself up and followed him as he stalked off down the street, pocketing the money he had been given by Buffy.

"Wait up, babe. Some of us don't have freaky vampire speed" She added, trying to match his pace. They rounded the corner and Spike opened the door to a 24 hour off-licence. Once inside, he grumpily asked for his Morley's and picked up as many bottles of liquor as he could carry. Saffron's brow furrowed, but she still offered to help carry a few bottles. Spike nodded at her, not angry enough to forget to thank her silently. He wasn't mad at her, he couldn't be. He was upset at what Buffy had said. It was playing on his mind, Saff belonged in the light. He sighed and shook his head at the thought, he wished he could be something better. A man. They paid at the check-out, the cashier looked between the two of them with obvious disdain but neither of the customers could care less what the man was thinking about them. After paying, Spike walked past Saff, ignoring her concerned look, and left the off-licence without a word. Saffron hurriedly followed Spike and trailed after him towards his next stop.

They arrived at a shop that Saffron had never been in before, for good reason. She pulled a face when she saw that they had arrived at the butchers. She didn't realise they were open so late. Spike glanced at her sideways, knowing she probably wouldn't follow him in. She hesitated, but after scrunching her nose up, followed him in. She was instantly hit with suffering that almost knocked her off her feet and the smell of decaying flesh. She wasn't sure if it was her abilities or if other people just didn't mind the smell of the raw meat. She tried to politely cover her nose but gave up when she saw the butcher staring at her suspiciously. When he noticed Spike stood next to her he smiled and beckoned him over.

"Your usual, Mr Spike?" The butcher asked, clearly familiar with the bleach-blonde.

"Yeah, and some of those little black puddings if you have any left" Spike said, making a small circle with his hand to demonstrate his words. Saffron looked visibly disgusted at what he was asking for, more so than the liquid blood. The man went through to the back to get Spike's order while the pair waited under the bright, fluorescent lighting.

"Really? Black pudding?" Saffron had to stop herself from gagging at even saying the words. She had always hated that stuff. He just shrugged, as if it was obvious. Well, it is blood. They waited for a while, and Saffron felt herself feeling weaker as she stood there surrounded by the dead animals. It's as if she could feel what they felt just before they died and she shivered suddenly feeling icy cold. "Babe, not that I don't love our visits to the butcher's but I'm, uh, gonna go wait outside ok?" Saffron said, unable to stand it in there any longer. Spike nodded and continued to wait inside the store. Saffron lit a cigarette, and by the time she finished it Spike came out with another brown bag filled with blood. They made their way through the streets, saffron tried to make conversation but nothing seemed to get him to open up to her.

xoxoxo

When they arrived at the crypt, Spike still hadn't spoken and just turned to make a drink. His attempt didn't go to plan, he was clearly still upset about something and when he grabbed for a glass his grip shattered it. Saffron took Spike's hand to lead him to the sofa and swept the glass up. She then got to fixing him some blood and just passed him the large bottle of bourbon he had bought, knowing there was no point putting that in one glass. They had been in silence the whole time Saffron sorted the blood for him, she kept sneaking glances at him and sighing, unsure how to get through to him. She brought the mug and sat down next to him, whilst he took the mug off her and seemed to mutter a thanks of some kind. She put her hands softly through his hair, trying to offer him some comfort. Spike furrowed his brow, the words Buffy had uttered were playing on his mind. He was beneath Saffron, that's how he felt. She was good and kind and what had he done? Killed everyone in his path and enjoyed it. He shook his head, from Cecily to Saffron, he really was a fool for love.

"What's going on Spike? Please talk to me" Saffron took his hand in hers, trying to get through to him. As soon as their hands met, the scene around them changed. Their clothes stayed the same, but they were suddenly in a fancy house with a large crowd of people in old fashioned, beautiful outfits. Saffron stared in awe, she had never witnessed anything like it. By the looks of the corsets and the accents, they were back in time. And in England.

"Where are we, Spike?" Saffron asked, her hand still holding onto his. She knew it must be something to do with him. He looked around in shock, it all looked so real. He held her hand tighter and she winced from the strength of his grip. Saffron couldn't feel the emotions of anyone in the room, there was just one person she could feel emotions from.

"We-we're in my head, love" He stated, still looking around the room. Spike narrated the scene as he pointed out William who was writing in the corner of the room as the party happened around them. That was who she could feel. Saffron's eyes bulged at what Spike used to look like and smiled back at the one she was still holding hands with. William spoke up then about the word he needed to rhyme.

"Your accent! You're a toff!"

"Hey! I'm no bloody toff, love. I'm not him" He said firmly. Venom clear in his voice. Saffron furrowed her eyebrows, she hadn't meant to upset him. She was fascinated with the party that was going on and pulled Spike to follow her to the main room. That was when Cecily entered the room and both William and Spike murmured her name at the same time. Saffron looked up at the beautiful woman and knew this was one of his first loves. From the way both men were staring, it was obvious. She could feel a hint of jealousy deep down but knew that Spike had lived a long life and it would be ridiculous to make a deal out of it. They followed her further into the crowded room and watched the conversation that flowed as easily as the wine.

"This was the crowd you were part of?" Saffron gestured at the group as Spike shook his head slightly, watching the scene before him.

"I don't want to bloody see this again" He groaned as William walked over to the group. They started to make fun of him and read his poetry out loud in front of everyone. Saffron tried to run at the man but Spike's grip on her hand kept her back. She looked up at him, pain flashed across his face as if it had only just happened. She rubbed her thumb on his hand and squeezed to offer some comfort. He couldn't quite manage to meet her eyes. They followed William where he went to see Cecily and they sat on the chairs opposite and Saffron listened intently. It broke her heart to hear the way Spike had been let down, tears were in her eyes as William left the party and stalked into the night.

"Spike, I didn't know-"

"I'd be surprised if you did, pet. It was around 100 years ago" He shrugged, as if it wasn't hurting to relive the scene. She could feel that it was though. A lot.

"Can we follow him, uh, you?" She asked, not knowing what would come next. He nodded and he led the way, walking the path he took to his death as if it was one he walked everyday. She looked around at the busy square that they walked through, the horses trotting past bringing people to their destination, small stores and upper-class people taking a stroll. She noted that Spike must have had a great deal of money considering this wasn't what she had expected the old-fashioned England to look like. Suddenly three people stalked towards them, it looked like they were going to hit them with the pace they kept, not moving out of the way. Saffron readied herself for impact but the three of them simply walked through her. A flash of amber eyes and muffled voices disappeared as quickly as they appeared. That was when she realised who it was.

"Angelus" She breathed. Spike just nodded, leading her in the opposite direction.

"But aren't you over there, with them?" She pointed and tried to pull him the other way, "Is this how you were turned, babe?"

"It's my sodding memory, pet, I know which way I went. And yeah, it is" He said evenly. Saffron could tell he still wasn't in a good mood and decided to just follow him. She felt lucky he was allowing her to see his memories. She stopped him in the alleyway and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. He looked at her, unsure why she planted it there.

"I care about all of you. William to Spike. I want to know you. The real one" She explained, promising that none of this was putting her off him. He smiled only slightly, if she had blinked at the wrong moment, she would have missed it. He nodded then turned to show her what happened next.

They were back in the crypt after seeing him and Dru in Spike's memory. Saffron had enjoyed seeing Spike's memories. Although it had made her sad, she felt she knew Spike better than ever. He took a large swig of the bottle as she tried to come up with something to say. She had witnessed his siring, it was hard to describe. She took the bottle from him and had a deep drink. She was trying to figure out if the memory seeing was a power she had or one Spike hadn't mentioned he had. She didn't feel it was the right time to ask though. They drank for a while, Spike was pleased that she had stayed after seeing his past. It didn't stop him feeling like he didn't deserve to be with her though. It was as if Saffron could sense this and she moved to sit closer to him.

Saffron's hand interlaced with Spike's again and she found herself in a deserted subway train. She'd only ever seen New York in movies but she could tell that's where they were. Spike confirmed this, as he explained where he was and what was about to happen. Spike didn't mind reliving this memory, it was one of his favourites. He was, however, unsure how Saffron would take it. He came into view then, her eyes widened at the outfit that he was wearing and she couldn't hide her smug smile at how he looked. He looked at her questioningly and she went a shade of pink she was starting to get accustomed to when he was around.

"Mm, the clothes?" He whispered, smirking at the way she was staring at his younger self.

"And the piercing, if I was a different kind of girl I would have swooned" She whispered back, even though the memory of Spike wouldn't have heard them. He kissed her forehead, looking very pleased with himself, keeping in mind this moment for later. Maybe he would find a top like that to wear again, she seemed to appreciate the view. In fact, he was almost jealous of the attention she was paying to his younger self. He put a firm hand on her waist. A woman came into view then, she had beautiful dark skin and her hair was styled into a tight curled afro. She stared at the woman, the glint of determination and self-assurance in her brown eyes lit up the subway carriage. She recognised the look. Saffron frowned, she also recognised the coat she wore and knew instantly she was a slayer. She was a good fighter, and Saffron admired her style - she desperately wanted the boots she was wearing.

"I could have danced all night with this one" He gestured his head towards her as they moved to sit on one of the chairs as Spike and the Slayer fought.

"Why are you thinking about all this now, Spike? What did Buffy say to you?"

"No matter, love. You want to know me. This is one of the best ways to see who I really am" He said this just as the Spike who was fighting changed into his game face and Spike winced slightly. Saff looked at the man she was still holding hands with, she was trying to understand why he would wince at the change. He'd never seemed shy before. She looked back, fascinated by the way he moved and the way he looked when he changed. She could barely take her eyes off him. He was brutal, but the way he fought really did look like a dance. There was a kind of elegance to it that was the complete opposite to how she wished she could describe it.

"You're enjoying it" She could feel the elation all around her, his memory was showing her exactly how he felt in the moment.

"Can't hide it, Honey. One of the best nights of my life that, only shows how pathetic I've become"

"Do you blame me? For how things are now?" She asked, wondering if she made him feel like less of a vampire. Her influence couldn't be denied by either of them. He didn't hesitate at her question, he answered fully.

"What? I mean the blasted chip, love. You make me feel like a man, not just… this" He pointed towards the fight that was still going on with the slayer, indicating that all he was there was demon, "But I can't lie, I miss it. The hunt. Trading blows with a slayer" He shrugged at the end, watching himself fighting.

"But if you had it out, you know I wouldn't want you to kill slayers. Buffy's the closest I'll ever have to a sister..." She paused, before she realised what he meant, "You are a man and you're mine" She said simply. Stating her feelings, seeing as he was letting her in this way. They looked at each other for a while, neither angry with the other for how they felt. Suddenly, a loud crack echoed through the empty subway coach. Saffron winced and shivered, knowing what that sound meant. Spike smiled at the sound, the memory. Saffron looked around and saw that he had taken the slayer down. He was taking her duster off and sizing it up for himself. She frowned, clearly not impressed.

"What? I killed her, love, I don't think she missed it" He shrugged as the scene disappeared before them and they were back in the crypt. Saffron frowned, thinking about Spike. He would have gloated about the killings even a year earlier. He had been happy to change in front of her once upon a time, but since they had been together she could barely remember a time he had changed into his vampire form. Was he embarrassed?

"Change" She said suddenly.

"I don't want to" He shrugged, reaching to take another bottle of liquor from the brown paper bag in the corner.

"Because you're ashamed?" She asked slowly, watching him falter as he reached up to drink, "It won't make me see you as less of a man" she confirmed, as if she had read his mind.

"Just don't feel like it" He shrugged, not looking her in the eye. She flicked him then, hard, on the nose. "Hey! What the bloody hell was that for" She didn't answer, just flicked him again. He got annoyed, flashing his face at her briefly.

"There he is! Come on, Spikey, I know you're in there" She used the nickname she knew irritated him and reached to flick him again. His face changed and he grabbed her wrist to stop her, a growl from the back of his throat warned her off annoying him further. She smiled at him genuinely and he loosened the grip on her wrist. She moved her hand up to trace the bumps on his forehead and he just watched her, bemused. She seemed to be staring with a mix of fascination and adoration as her eyes flicked to look him in his yellow eyes. She traced her hand over his eyebrow, slowly over his scar and trailed her fingers to rest on the side of his cheek. "I care about all of you, Spike" She confirmed again, "Bumpy or not" she added with a smile. She leaned in then and left a chaste kiss on his lips. His fangs nicked her bottom lip and she flinched, but didn't pull away completely. She put her thumb to her lip to wipe it off and revealed the blood. Her eyes flicked up to his, but his eyes were fixed on her lower lip, where the tiny cut was.

She made a decision then, "Kiss me, Spike" She asked. He looked conflicted, he managed to drag his eyes from her bleeding lip and search her eyes for confirmation. She wasn't disgusted with him. He leaned in again and caught her lips with his, the taste of her blood was sweet and he wanted more. Their kiss was rough and filled with an unwavering passion, he sucked on her bottom lip, savouring her sweet blood. It tasted so much better than he remembered it.

They had managed to make it to Spike's four-poster bed. Neither completely sure how they ended up there, but they were with only a thin sheet separating their naked bodies from the harsh cold of the crypt. They both panted, Saff trying to get her breath back and Spike just out of habit. They hadn't been able to take their hands off each other since Saffron asked him to kiss her. He knew then, this was just as real for her as it was for him. Her heart was full of love for him, all of him. He just wished she would say it sometimes. But that gesture, was all he needed. They lay lazily in the four poster bed, a place they both enjoyed because it was theirs and theirs alone. Spike had his arm around her and she leaned into him her fingers tracing his face the way it had when he had revealed his game face, the same expression on her face as before. They looked at each other, not needing words to know how content they both felt with each other. They stayed like that for a while, content in each other's company.

"Have you ever felt like this before?" She asked, humming the words, still basking in the glow of their happiness.

"Like what?" He asked as he moved his hand to pull the sheet higher for her because he could feel how cold she was getting. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get rid of the draught she was always complaining about.

"The way you feel about me…" she wavered and trailed off.

"Love, you mean? You know, I think you're bloody allergic to the word-" Spike was cut off by her lips crashing into his, she didn't want them to talk about this yet. She knew he had been vulnerable with her but she needed a little more time. She ended their kiss as abruptly as she had started it, wanting to know the answer.

"So… have you?"

"I was with Dru for decades, the feeling doesn't go away. But with us, with you- it's different. I can't explain it, honeysuckle. You're in everything I do" he shrugged as if this was something you admit everyday.

"I know, I feel it too" She smiled as he did when she said it, she loved the smile he only had for her, "Tell me how it was though?"

"I'll show you" He said, his smile dropping slightly as their hands interlocked again.

They were in Mexico, now. The dusty heat was stifling, which was a good job because the pair hadn't put any clothes on before Spike had let her into his memory. Saffron looked down at herself and cringed.

"You could have let me put some clothes on, babe" She sulked, covering her chest with her arms. He smirked, having no problem with the fact neither of them were wearing anything.

"It's not as if anyone can see, pet, and at least there's something in it for me now" His eyebrows arched suggestively as he slowly looked down her body and smiled. She rolled her eyes and leaned up to leave a soft kiss on his neck. They both turned to look at the scene in front of them. A guy with sticky antlers was stood awkwardly between two vampires. Drusilla looked down as Spike spoke to her, the tone of his voice indicating he was upset.

She could feel surrounded by sadness then too. Insecurity. Her eyes filled with tears as it was evident that Dru had broken his heart.

"My Spike, don't you see? Your heart belonged to her the day you laid eyes on her"

"Dru, love, I don't have a buggering clue who you're on about" He said, but everyone there knew he was lying, including the two watching, "Why do you do this to me, love?" He asked pointing at the demon.

"Act four, the Star cross'd lovers take the stage. Their plight will be laid out for all to see. Miss Edith gave me the Royal box to watch, it made my stomach turn" She imitated churning on her stomach to illustrate her point, one that the Spike in the scene still looked confused about. Drusilla was hard to understand, and hindsight was a wonderful thing. Saffron turned to the naked Spike she was holding hands with, smiling at him as Spike knew what she was going to say next. The chaos demon left hurriedly and went back into the bar.

"Terrible knots and thorns, the poison'd flower that swayed my poor boy. His blood courses with it, his heart coloured amethyst" She said knowingly. She looked over to where Spike and saffron were stood watching, and stared as if she was looking right into Saffron's eyes. She felt exposed, a shiver running down her spine. Could she really see them? The spike in the scene wiped his face to hide the tears that slipped from his eyes, trying to figure out what she was looking at behind him. He shrugged, wiping his tears on his sleeve, she was usually staring into the distance. She had known this whole time, and she had made him feel like this because of it. He had no chance with the girl she was talking about and now, he didn't even have Dru. Saffron reached to her Spike's hand again and squeezed it comfortingly, seeing that his own eyes seemed to be welling with tears that hadn't fallen. She wanted him to know it was okay as her own tears slowly rolled down her cheeks. She could feel how hollow he was feeling after she cheated on him, she wished she had known this before. The reason for his insecurity, the need to hear that she loved him. She decided it was time. They snapped out of the memory quickly.

Saffron turned to Spike, both of them were now sat up on the bed, the thin sheet now covering them both again. She looked into his eyes, with her own tear stained ones. He didn't know what to say, he knew that she had felt the way he had been feeling at the time. She knew that he had loved her and that was the reason Drusilla felt lonely and cheated on him. She felt that he blamed himself and worried that she would leave him in a similar way. She rested her forehead on his and reached up to hold the sides of his head with her hands. Her fingers weaved through his hair and rested there, small circular motions to comfort him the best she could.

"I'll never leave you Spike" She stated, firmly, guiding his head to lean against her shoulder now, "Not by choice, not ever" She held him close to her, stroking his hair as he leaned into her further. A rare glimpse into his vulnerable side had washed Saffron out completely but all she wanted to do was comfort him. He shook from the sobs that wracked his body as he thought about William, his past relationships and the way he felt about his current love. He felt this contradiction of happy to be in her arms as well as embarrassed at the way his feelings and his heart ruled him. He chose to believe her though.

xoxoxo

The magic box was filled with warm glowing light, Willow and Tara had done a spell that lit up the room for the meeting they were having. The warm glow emanated through the room, making it appear cosy. Everyone was there, including Dawn. Buffy didn't have any excuses or anyone free to babysit as everyone was needed at the Magic Box. She told Dawn to sit in the corner, do her homework and not to touch anything. Saffron joked that she was going to get her some crayons to keep her occupied and Dawn stuck her tongue out at her.

Xander and Anya were busy looking through a book together, thinking nobody could see Xander's hand, which was dangerously high on Anya's thigh. Willow and Tara were gushing about how they did the spell, they were so proud of how easy spells were for them when they worked together. Saff could feel love radiating from both corners of the room and she wished she could hold Spike's hand or show some affection while they were in the meeting. Saffron was sat on a hard, wooden chair next to Spike. They were comfortable enough just being next to each other, but both were thinking the same thing. Wanting to have physical contact. She was holding a dusty book named, 'The Empath Bible' which Giles had handed to her to get herself familiar with how the sight made empathic tendencies stronger than most. She tried to tell him it was blasphemous to call it a Bible but he wasn't listening. She rolled her eyes when he turned his back but flipped it open so it looked like she was doing something. Spike just sat there, leaning back on his chair. He was only there for Saff. Giles was busy talking Buffy through some training techniques they needed to try, now that he was her watcher again. She was limbering up as he spoke and Saffron looked up to see if it was anything she could join in with. Giles looked at her and shook his head lightly, which led to her sulking and turning the page of her old book dramatically.

"S'all right love, I'll show you the ropes" He said loud enough for everyone to hear and arched his eyebrows suggestively and Saff couldn't help smiling slightly.

"You will do no such thing" Giles stated curtly.

"Yeah, who even invited you? I preferred it when you were all flaccid from a distance" Buffy agreed.

"How about you make with the leaving now?" Xander added. Saffron frowned at them all, when it came down to it Spike had helped them all out. Often, it was reluctantly, or because it's something Saffron had asked him to do. But he still had, most recently with Tara. The two witches watched the exchange, but didn't comment either way. Tara didn't want to draw attention to the fact they were together, opting to pretend to read her own dusty book. Saffron stood up, and decided it was time to defend him.

"How about you make with the shutting up, Xand? Spike is almost as strong as Buff and he's helped us out over the year since he got the chip"

"Yeah, just get me a bloody white hat" He muttered and Saffron gave him a look which shut him up.

"Yeah and that's all great apart from the small fact of he tried to kill us, SP!"

"I don't think you should be doing this" Buffy warned her cousin, giving her a look to tell her to stop it.

"Why are you even defending him?" Xander asked and Saffron took a deep breath. She needed to do this. She couldn't hide it anymore.

"Because I love him" She said shakily. She turned to Spike, who had stood up when she said that, his eyes wide. All he could do was stare in awe. She said it. In front of them all. She reached and held her hand out and he quickly laced his fingers through hers, still staring at her. He looked back at the room with a smug smile. Half of the room seemed to laugh until they saw the seriousness in Saffron's face. Buffy scowled at Spike, who seemed to be loving the situation. The room fell into silence, everyone's faces were tense as they waited to see who would speak first. Everyone, except Dawn that is, who beamed widely and ran at the pair to hug them both. Saffron was relieved, hugging her cousin back tightly and Spike didn't know what to do she he patted her head awkwardly.

"Please please say you're joking" Xander held his hands as if he was praying and talking to God.

"I don't- I don't think I quite, ah, understand" Giles tripped over his words and looked appalled. Anya and willow just stared, seemingly lost for words. Tara didn't make eye contact with anyone else in the room, she gave Saffron a small nod but she was trying not to show them that she already knew.

"I warned you" Buffy shouted at Spike threateningly, rounding on the pair. Saffron looked around the room, worried about what was going to happen next. But she knew she had Spike by her side, they could get through anything. Together.