Life's Not Fair
Thane waited patiently for Shepard by the Normandy's airlock. Garrus stopped her over by the galaxy map, and he seemed to be telling her something important—if the intense set of his mandibles and widened stance were any indication. She turned her head, gaze finding Thane from across the room, lips parted and brow starting to furrow. Turning her attention back to Garrus, she said something, waving her hand in Thane's direction. Garrus glanced his way and then back to Shepard. She took a deep enough breath her shoulders shifted upwards, despite the weight of her armor, and she nodded.
She made her way through the CIC to stop in front of Thane, talking in hushed tones, "Garrus just got a lead on someone he's been tracking, here on the Citadel. This is huge for him … I don't want to put you in a position to have to share private details with anyone else if you don't want to, but it would be helpful to him if he joined us." Her brows lifted and dipped down in the middle, lips pinched and curling up at the ends, clearly she felt torn between the two of them.
Thane glanced over at Garrus to see the turian watching them, mandibles fluttering in an antsy rhythm. He dropped his gaze to the floor for a moment before turning back to Shepard and dipped his head. "As you wish, siha."
Instantly her features relaxed and a soft smile took over her mouth, as he suspected it would if he called her siha. "Are you sure?" she asked, voice just as soft as before.
"You trust him more than any other on this ship, and I trust you." He dipped his head again. "Yes, I am sure."
She reached out, the movement slow enough for him to track with ease and choose his response. He let her rest her gauntleted hand on his shoulder for a moment. "Thank you." She glanced behind her and waved her hand at Garrus.
Garrus wasted no time, jogging over to them and nodded to Thane. She smiled, seemingly at no one in particular, and opened the airlock. The bustle of the Citadel greeted them as they made their way through clearance and into C-Sec. Thane opened his mouth to protest when she stopped in front of one of the desks, but he didn't have any better idea of where to start to find Kolyat with time running out. Thankfully, the human behind the desk, Captain Bailey according to his identification, didn't seem too interested in asking excessively detailed questions. Garrus hummed as Shepard spoke to Bailey, revealing the surface details of what Thane was after on the Citadel and why, leaving out the fact it was his son they searched for.
"How did you know he would be willing to help?" Thane asked Shepard as they made their way to find Mouse.
She glanced at him and shrugged. "Bailey's not exactly a red tape kind of cop. When I first came back to the Citadel, they tagged me as deceased, and he offered to clear it up for me fast and easy instead of making me go through all the proper channels." She smirked. "Besides, I'm a Spectre."
Garrus chuffed, drawing both of their attention. "I got raked over the coals for far less, working in C-Sec."
"You don't miss it?" Thane asked, curious to know more about the turian Shepard counted as her dearest companion aboard the Normandy.
"No, the red tape she's talking about made it impossible for me to do my job." He hummed, looking down at Thane. "Has she told you how they wanted me to give up my investigation into Saren? If I'd been the detective they wanted me to be …. I knew Saren was no good, and they should've let me keep digging until I had the evidence to prove it, might have saved a lot of lives. I joined Shepard the first chance I got." He turned to Shepard, looking down at her profile with an affectionate gaze. He flicked a mandible and smirked. "Best decision I've ever made."
"Yeah, well, let's see if you still think that when we go through the Omega 4 Relay." She turned her head to look at him over her shoulder and smiled. "You've been one hell of a sidekick, though."
He chuffed, and Thane expected him to argue, but instead, Garrus smirked. "You just keep me around for my exquisite style. And," he said, dragging the word out, heavy in his subvocals, "because I'm a better shot than you."
Shepard snorted. "Whatever you need to tell yourself to sleep at night, Vakarian."
Thane chuckled, enjoying the lighthearted rivalry. He wondered what it would be like to have that with someone else, to have with her. Rivalry and competition was discouraged in his training, though, naturally it still cropped up from time to time. There were a few, early on, who thought themselves his equals, but inevitably, it became clear his mastery of the assassin skill set was far superior. There was a time he considered it a source of pride and it made him complacent, but that very complacency cost him everything he ever held dear.
He blinked, taking in the man in front of him when they finally found Mouse. He didn't think it could possibly be the same Mouse, the same drala'fa whom he'd spent more time with than his own son, bribing the child for information with trinkets and sweets. Still, he saw the memory of the child's face superimposed on the flesh and blood face of the man before him, and he knew it was indeed the same Mouse.
Thane smirked at the human's skittishness, his confusion and fear at finding Thane and Shepard there to speak with him. Thane reached out, putting his hand on the man's shoulder. "Be still Mouse. You can change your pants in a moment."
Garrus chuffed, the sound filled with amusement, and took a few steps away, turning his gaze out over the masses of the Citadel. Thane knew the turian could still hear them, if he was of a mind to listen. Thane had spoken to Shepard some already about his work on the Citadel and his drala'fa contacts, she'd been shocked initially, to learn he involved children, but he'd assured her that he never endangered them. He wasn't entirely certain what her thoughts were on the matter, especially with one of those very children standing in front of her. It took some coaxing, but between Shepard's promise to keep Mouse safe, and Thane's vow he would not be named, he eventually gave them the information they needed.
They spoke briefly about what they'd learned from Mouse as they returned to C-Sec. It appeared to be news to Garrus that Thane had a son, which relieved him, knowing Shepard kept his secret, even from her closest friend. Once they arrived at C-Sec, Captain Bailey dithered on whether or not to fulfill his end of the agreement, and Thane felt an irrational rush of anger—which he swiftly locked away behind what remained of his battle sleep. He was used to law enforcement willing to accept bribes and 'look the other way', in his profession, he'd made it a point to learn the names of many like the captain. It made things easier for Thane to take many lives, disappointing that it may stand in the way while he tried to save one instead.
At last, the human found an acceptable solution to his predicament and told his subordinates to bring in Elias Kelham, the man who hired Kolyat to commit murder. Thane paced while they waited, needing to keep himself preoccupied, he didn't go far, no more than a few feet in either direction from Shepard. Garrus leaned against the wall next to an interrogation room, talking quietly with one of the officers on duty—someone he'd said he recognized from his time in C-Sec. Shepard, however, stood quietly nearby, tracking Thane's movements in her peripherals while she scanned the crowds through the entrance to the Zakera Wards. He found it soothed him to know she cared enough to keep an eye on him, even as she remained vigilant for threats.
She reached out, fingertips brushing across his sleeve as he made his twentieth pass. He stopped and looked up, following her gaze to the human, the man being more carried than led in by two C-Sec officers; it seemed as if he did not make their job easy. Thane stepped back by her side, in part, he realized, because he didn't entirely trust himself not to snap the man's neck as they led him passed. The gods guide him, Thane stayed in his battle sleep for far too long and woke up in very troubling times.
Shepard spoke to another officer, telling him to inform Bailey they were ready, and the captain came back out of hiding. Kelham's lawyer wasn't far behind, demanding to speak to his client, but the captain offered to stall him. Thane looked at Shepard, hoping perhaps her Spectre status would serve them in the matter, if need be.
"Garrus?" She nodded her head for him to join them when the turian looked up. "Brush off your interrogation skills," she said when he stood with them again. She turned to Thane, "I want you to stick to the shadows, just stand there looking … well, just be you. If he gives Garrus trouble, I'll handle it, get him talking."
"Are you certain?" Thane asked, not really wanting to question her plan, but needing to know, no matter what, they would not leave there without knowing where to find Kolyat.
She gave him a quick jerk of her head in the affirmative. "Just follow my lead."
"As you wish." He tucked his hands behind his back and dipped his head to her.
They went into the interrogation room, finding Kelham strapped into a chair. The sight made Thane question the way things worked at C-Sec. He was familiar with the occasional officer willing to take bribes, and undoubtedly more than a few were guilty of excessive use of force, but the room seemed designed to allow for less than legal methods of interrogation. The man turned to the sound of their entry, calling out to Bailey and demanding to see his lawyer.
Thane moved into the shadows as Shepard requested, allowing the dim light to just barely illuminate his presence and waited, hands behind his back. She leaned against the wall just behind Kelham, out of his line of sight, and the man twisted, instinctually trying to keep his eyes on all of the predators stalking him.
Garrus stopped at Kelham's feet and crossed his arms over his chest, clearing his throat to draw the human's attention to him. "You took out a hit on someone, we need to know who it is you're trying to have killed and where to find them."
Kelham smirked. "If I did take out a hit on someone, which I didn't, why would I tell you anything? Give me a break. I want to see my advocate."
Garrus flicked a mandible. "And if I worked for C-Sec, I might actually care."
"You're not with C-Sec? Right." Contempt flashed over the man's features, twisting his lips in a sneer. "Well then who the hell are you?"
"Me?" Garrus lifted his shoulders, mandibles flaring. "Just a concerned citizen. But she," he said, nodding towards Shepard, making Kelham strain again to try to see her, "is a Spectre." He tilted his head towards Thane. "And the guy over there … hmmm, well, he's the one who's going to break your neck if you don't stop wasting our time and tell us who it is you're trying to have killed."
Thane blinked, remaining silent and passive, reminding himself to trust in the ploy; Shepard would assure he found Kolyat, hopefully before it was too late. Her gaze drifted to him, and the corner of her mouth twitched up in a smirk.
Kelham narrowed his eyes, undoubtedly trying to get a better look at Thane. He licked his lips. "Commander Shepard was the only human Spectre, and she died. Try again." The bravado in his voice sounded forced to Thane's ears.
Terror flashed through Shepard's eyes, making Thane want to go to her, but before he could do something so foolish, she locked it away again. Pushing off the wall, she moved at a slow pace, reaching out to drag her fingers along the chair keeping Kelham restrained. She stopped next to him, looking down at him, face passive. "If I'm dead, then I guess it won't matter if I take you out, will it?"
Disbelief dissolved into fear, as Kelham studied Shepard's face. She smirked, pacing away from him, moving behind Garrus, patting the turian on the shoulder as she passed.
"What do you think a Spectre could do to a man like Kelham? Besides simply killing him, of course?" She stopped at Garrus' right, glancing up at him. "Not that anyone would even care. Spectres can do pretty much whatever they want."
"Hmmm." He glanced down at her, mandibles fluttering lightly as he appeared to mull over her question. "You could order C-Sec to raid his businesses daily. Have him arrested and held indefinitely for suspected treason. Seize his assets. Put him on—"
"Bailey does whatever I want." Kelham scoffed, turning his head away from Shepard and Garrus. "He won't let you touch me."
"Do you see Bailey?" Shepard asked Garrus, shifting her weight to one hip and crossing her arms. She shook her head and shrugged. "I don't see Bailey."
"No, no Bailey here." Garrus hummed. "Then again, Bailey's just a C-Sec captain, a dirty one, so it seems. Who's going to listen to him over a Spectre?"
"I'm not your enemy here, Kelham." She turned her head back to look at him and shifted her weight again to stand up straight. "Yet. Tell us who you're trying to have killed, and I'll let you walk out the door. Force me to go somewhere else to find out, and I won't be responsible for whatever my friend over there in the corner decides to do with you." She sucked a breath in between her teeth and shook her head. "He's got quite the imagination."
Kelham's gaze drifted back to Thane, but Thane said nothing, did nothing. Just watched and waited, staying to the shadows, 'being him' as she suggested. Some part of him ached at being painted as a ruthless killer, someone willing to end a life simply because he didn't get his way. Still, if it helped him to find Kolyat, he would do whatever Shepard asked of him, be whatever she required. Perhaps it wasn't an entirely inaccurate depiction.
The man turned his attention back to Shepard. "You have me strapped down in a C-Sec interrogation room. No way you're letting me walk away from anything. I'm not saying a damn thing more until my advocate gets here."
Shepard shrugged. "Thane?" She looked over her shoulder at him.
"Yes, Shepard?" He turned his head a little to look at her more fully.
"What would you say is one of the most painful things you can do to someone without leaving a mark?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. Amonkira be praised, the huntress in her could be rather unnerving.
"Ah, a variety of nerve strikes induce significant amounts of pain and leave little to no bruising if applied properly," he said, hoping she didn't truly intend to have him torture the man.
She turned a little, as if clearing the way for him. "Mind coming over here and showing me a few of those places on Mr. Kelham?"
"Certainly." Thane stepped out of the shadows, but before he'd taken more than two steps, the man called out.
"Wait!"
Shepard held up a hand, and Thane stopped, tucking his hands behind his back once more and waited, relieved the ploy worked. She turned her attention back to Kelham who fell silent again.
Garrus hummed. "You can either tell us now and walk out of here, or tell us later and be carried out on a stretcher, if you're lucky. A body bag if you're not. You've really got nothing to lose. Either way, you'll tell us."
"Shit." Kelham looked down, giving his head a little shake. "His name's Joram Talid. He's a turian running for Intendant of Zakera Ward."
"Where can we find him?" Garrus asked, mandibles falling still.
Kelham sighed, lifting his head to meet Shepard's gaze. "His apartment's in the eight hundred blocks."
She nodded, turning to move to the door. "Let's go."
"Wait," Kelham called after her, tugging against his restraints. "At least tell me who gave you my name?"
Shepard lifted her eyebrow, looking over her shoulder. "I'll send someone in to let you out of the restraints." She glanced at Thane and Garrus, and they fell into step behind her, following her out of the interrogation room.
As soon as the door slid closed behind them, Kelham's advocate rushed for the door. Bailey waved them over, and Thane listened while he asked Shepard for the details of why Kelham hired Kolyat. Again, she gave him only the bare minimum, avoiding naming Kolyat or acknowledging his ties to Thane. Bailey provided them with a few more pieces of information about Talid, apparently the turian ran an anti-human campaign, and the fact appeared to upset Shepard. She and Bailey spoke about the way the galaxy viewed humanity for a few moments more before Garrus asked about someone calling themselves 'Fade'. Bailey provided him with a location for some of Fade's contacts, stating it was the best he could do, apparently Fade received inside information and was skilled at avoiding C-Sec.
"Let's look into Talid first," Shepard said, settling a hand on Garrus' arm. "This thing's more time sensitive."
Garrus took a deep breath and nodded. "The sooner, the better. I don't think I'll be able to really focus on this collector mission until I've settled this score, Shepard."
She nodded, leading the way to the patrol car Bailey offered them use of. "We'll get it taken care of, Garrus. I promise. We won't leave the Citadel until we have answers."
"I still have contacts on the Citadel," Thane said, turning his palm out to Garrus in a show of good faith. "Perhaps they can be of service."
Garrus hummed, glancing at Shepard, but her attention stayed on Thane, a soft smile turning up the corners of her lips. "Hmmm. Yeah, if this thing Bailey mentioned doesn't lead us anywhere, I'd appreciate whatever information you can get."
They climbed into the patrol car, and Shepard sat in back next to Thane. It surprised him, with her superior rank, he expected her to sit up front with the C-Sec sergeant, but she muttered something about Garrus needing the extra leg room. He supposed it was true enough, but he found Garrus' soft huff of laughter at the statement interesting in its contradictory tone. Thane wanted to talk to her, wanted to recapture the easy flow of conversation the two of them shared while alone, believing it might help to distract him from the anxious thoughts pressing in around him, but with the C-Sec sergeant driving the skycar, he didn't think it wise. Still, he found her gaze from time to time in the dim cabin of the vehicle, and her gentle smile reassured him.
When they arrived to the eight hundred blocks, Amonkira willed they find their quarry almost immediately. The turian politician stood talking to a small group, his krogan bodyguard just a few feet away. They split up, Shepard moving to the catwalks to follow from above, Garrus blending in with the crowd, and Thane intent on moving to the shadows.
He bowed his head as the other two left him to take up their positions. "Amonkira, Lord of Hunters, grant that my hands be steady, my aim be true, and my feet swift. And should the worst come to pass, grant me forgiveness." Glancing up, he used the flow of the crowd to hide himself, turning just as someone passed, walking alongside them before slipping into the shadows of an alley.
It seemed difficult for him, trusting in another to guide him in such a vital task. But he'd watched Shepard closely since his time aboard the Normandy, and he knew she would do everything in her power to ensure he made it to Kolyat on time. She was a siha, after all, and if her feelings for Thane guided her to try a little harder … he'd deal with the guilt of using her heart as a tool later, when Kolyat was safe. Garrus' offer to help came unexpected but not unwelcome. Still, Thane only trusted Garrus in so much as she did. It was Shepard in whom he put his faith and trust. He moved from shadow to shadow, making use of alleyways, rooftops, and catwalks when need be. Anxious, he asked her for updates regularly, and if she found his persistence annoying, her voice betrayed nothing.
Garrus proved more useful than Thane anticipated; he located Kolyat first. "I think I've found him, unless there happens to be another drell on the Citadel in the eight hundred blocks." And then, two heartbeats later, while Thane still scanned the crowd, Garrus said, "It's him, he's got eyes on Talid."
"I see him," Shepard said just as Thane saw him, too.
Thane sucked in a breath, the sight of his son, the clear turmoil written on the all too familiar yet somehow completely different face, tore at him. "As do I."
"Garrus, can you intercept Talid? Stall him?" Shepard asked.
"You got it," said Garrus.
Thane glanced up at the catwalks in time to see her jump over the edge of the railing, sliding down the side before landing on her feet in a crouch. She stood, brushing off her hands and glanced over her shoulder toward Talid, who remained engaged in conversation with Garrus, his bodyguard blocking him from Kolyat's sight. Kolyat glanced up as Shepard approached, blinking in confusion as she smiled at him.
Thane couldn't hear them from his position, but he remained hidden for the time being as he moved closer, afraid his presence might entice Kolyat to follow through with attacking his target despite the crowded Wards and the heavily armed and armored woman standing in front of him. She held her hand out to him in greeting. As soon as Kolyat reached across himself, sliding his hand into her grip, Shepard reached around behind him and drew the pistol he carried secured beneath his jacket. Then, and only then, did Thane reveal himself, stepping out of the shadows to walk towards his son.
"... you can't just—" Kolyat sounded irate, but she cut him off with a wave of her free hand.
"Yes, yes I can." She looked up, glancing around, gaze finding and settling on Thane for a couple of seconds before turning her attention back to Kolyat. "Your father wants to speak with you, Kolyat."
At the mention of Thane, Kolyat became instantly more alert, gaze darting around until he found Thane closing the last of the distance between them. "Father?" For a brief moment, nothing more than a whispered breath of time, he became the child standing on the shores of Kahje, broken-hearted and looking to his father to set the world right again. Then, it disappeared, anger and disgust sweeping across his features with neck-breaking speed. "This—this is a joke. Now? Now you show up?"
It tore at Thane, ripping open old wounds, driving a hole through his heart, shredding the last of his battle sleep more efficiently than anything else ever possibly could have—save Irikah coming back to life. He stopped in front of his son, the boy now a man, grown to be taller than Thane. "Kolyat, I …."
Shepard brought her hand up to her comm. "Garrus, get Talid out of here." She glanced at Thane, handing him Kolyat's weapon. "I'll leave you two to talk."
"No." Thane reached out, grabbing her wrist as she turned before the thought even crossed his mind to stop her. "My apologies," he said, letting go as she turned back around. "Please, it would mean a lot to me if you stayed."
Shepard smiled, something akin to approbation lighting her eyes as she nodded her head. "Sure, I'll stay."
Kolyat scoffed, the derision another dagger in Thane's bleeding heart. "Even now you can't handle the thought of being alone with me?" He wasn't wrong, not even close.
"I deserve your anger and worse." Thane lowered his gaze, letting his son see the guilt he felt as he holstered the gun at his back. "I left because I thought you would be safer, have a better life without me. I didn't want this for you, Kolyat. Your mother didn't want this for you."
Kolyat crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at Thane. "Mother's dead. She doesn't want anything, and you have no right to want anything for me. You left me … left both of us."
"I did." Thane squeezed his eyes closed for a moment, blinking to clear the threat of tears when he opened them again. "And I shouldn't have. Your mother died because I wasn't there, the men who killed her did so to get at me. It's my fault."
"What?" The shock and grief in Kolyat's voice was nearly too much for Thane to bear, but bear it he must.
"After her body went to the deep, I went to find them. The trigger men. The ringleaders." Thane shifted his gaze to Shepard, finding strength in her presence, even if sorrow clouded her eyes. He turned back to his son. "I hurt them. Eventually killed them. When I went back to see you, you were—older."
Happier, adjusted to your new life with a kind, loving family who clearly gave you so much more than I ever did. And I was a shattered, broken man who would have brought nothing but a landslide of darkness and grief back into your life. Forgive me, Kolyat, by the gods, please forgive me.
"I should have stayed with you." Taking a deep, painful breath, he closed his eyes, bowing his head. "Kolyat, I'm—I'm dying."
"This—this isn't even about me. It's about you." Kolyat narrowed his eyes, shaking his head when Thane met his gaze again. "You haven't come for me, you came for you. To clear your conscious and make peace before you die. Well, I guess it's too bad you waited so long, huh? You'll have to find your peace somewhere else."
"I didn't come to make peace, or to clear my conscious." Thane shifted, brow ridges dipping. He understood why Kolyat felt upset, but he expected his aunts and uncles to teach him to comport himself better, despite his emotions. "I came to bring you peace, to make sure you don't make the same mistakes I did."
"I'm not your responsibility." Kolyat shook his head and waved a dismissive hand. "Not anymore."
Shepard let out an exasperated huff of breath, drawing Thane and Kolyat's attention. She cocked her hip, crossing her arms. "Look, kid—"
He glared at her. "I'm not a child."
"Then stop acting like one," she snapped, her voice taking on a heated edge. "Your dad has maybe a year left to live. You can spend that time trying to mend things with him and have the chance to know what it's like to have him in your life before it's too late, or you can keep acting like a petulant brat and regret it for the rest of your life."
"Shepard …." Thane held a hand out to her, shocked and dismayed by the intensity of her reaction and the callousness of her words. "Please. He has every right—"
"Life's not fair, Thane." She turned her attention back to Kolyat, fire dancing in her eyes. "In fact, sometimes it just plain sucks. Grow up and deal with it, because it's not going to get any easier." She glanced at Thane, and he saw the pieces she'd been holding together over the last few days starting to fall apart. "For either of you. You leaving the way you did may have been a dick move, I don't know. I'm not arguing on that point either way, but two wrongs don't make a right." She turned back to Kolyat. "You want to be treated like an adult? Accept the fact your father is standing in front of you, trying to tell you how sorry he is for his decisions and how much he loves you."
Shame washed over Kolyat's face and he lowered his head, his arms dropping limply to his sides. "Father, I …." Tears welled up, streaming down his face, dripping to the Citadel floor.
Thane glanced at Shepard again, baffled by both her behavior and the response it drew from Kolyat. She widened her eyes, jerking her head, just a small twitch, in Kolyat's direction, silently mouthing the words 'help him'. Hesitantly, Thane reached out, putting his hand on Kolyat's shoulder, and his son collapsed into his arms.