A/N: Thanks JayeMaru for probably the highest compliment I could wish to receive! I've really loved writing Saffron and I'm glad she comes across as fleshed out! And to the guest that commented: Thank you SO much for another high compliment that Spike is really Spike in my story (Also: Don't worry, there will be plenty of fluff in further chapters)! I love hearing from readers, *constructive* criticism is welcome too! xoxo
Chapter 38:
It had been a month and things seemed to be improving, despite the ongoing threat from Glory and the possibility of another visit from the Eyes' fan club. Saffron had been making amends, her relationships were healing with the group, with the exception of Giles and Xander. Buffy, Dawn and Saffron were laying around lazily on the beach. This is the one that Joyce would take them to in summers before everything had changed. All of them had fond memories of this place and coming back was bittersweet. The golden sand felt warm, even through the towels that they had planted on the ground to bathe on. The small parasol was protecting Saff from the direct heat as she sat reading next to Buffy. Buffy had picked up a book for the first time in a long time, trying to relax herself too.
They were having a nice time, their relationships were starting to go back to normal, although each one of them had a Joyce-shaped hole in their hearts. Saffron had been struggling to stay away from the alcohol, even being on the beach reminded her of fruity cocktails or maybe an ice-cold beer. But she continued to keep away. She owed them, and herself, that much. Saff had decided on the family-bonding activity of the day. Plus, it got them out of Sunnydale and on the beach. She knew how much Buffy liked the beach too.
Saff still had a lot of making up to do, so she went off to buy ice creams for them all. She got up and slowly walked over to the ice cream shack in her black platform flip-flops, ordering ice pops for her and Buffy and the biggest ice cream she could afford for Dawn. When she returned, Dawn's eyes widened and she grinned wide as she grabbed for the ice cream that was piled high with different flavours. She passed Buffy the ice pop and she thanked her, it was her favourite flavour (Cola) which made the blonde smile widely. Saffron had opted for the blue one, she had never understood what the blue-ness really tasted of, but she had enjoyed it all the same.
"You remembered!" Buffy beamed as she unwrapped it.
"I can be caring" Saff shrugged, sucking on the unnaturally blue ice.
"Not usually unless there's a big initiative-style cover up for something" Buffy said, licking her ice-lolly.
"Yeah why are you being all… nice?" Dawn asked, squinting her eyes and pretending to be suspicious. Saff shot them both a look, suggesting they knew why and they just smiled. She rolled her eyes. She felt it then. They were messing with her.
"You know I love the beach, Dawny" Saff shrugged.
"What more could you want? There's sand, there's sea and there's no monsters waiting to annoy any of us" Buffy smiled slightly, lying back to soak up the sun. This break was exactly what she needed. What all of them needed.
"Plus, 'Beach babes: prophecy of the three' screams movie franchise! Angel's in L.A. still, right? I might send him a pitch to pass along to one of those Hollywood types" Saff smiled, returning to her book. Dawn tried to lie and sunbathe like Buffy but kept tossing and turning under the California heat. She sighed dramatically and when no one asked her what was up, she sat up and started to chat.
"Whatcha reading?" Dawn asked as Saff sighed, resting the book down to look at her younger cousin. Buffy opened her eyes to roll them at Dawn, making Saff smile slightly, before she closed them again and relaxed in the heat.
"A book, Dawn of man" she said, knowing Dawn hated it when she said that one.
"Hey! It should be Dawn of Wo-man!" Dawn protested, as Saff picked her book back up to attempt to get some downtime.
"That's not the saying though is it" Saff replied, turning the page of her book. She squinted, the pages were starting to be too bright, reflecting the sun's light. She put on some shades and relaxed back into the story. Dawn was quiet for a while, sulking at the name she had been called.
"What about Spike? How is he?" Dawn asked, knowing Saff would talk to her about this.
"He's almost completely healed now" Saffron didn't add the way she knew this, which was his sex drive had returned to normal. Dawn smiled and nodded, continuing to try to catch all the dripping ice cream that had started to melt onto her hands. Saff smirked to herself and shook her head, reminding herself of the other night. She was snapped out of this thought by a strange feeling from the sand below her. It was as if it had shifted. Her smile faded as she stood up from her towel, placing the book down. She stared at the sand but heard a cracking sound behind her, making her whip her head around to face it. The sun was down now, in the blink of an eye. Almost pitch black. Buffy and Dawn were sleeping and the tide was coming in. How much time had she lost? They must have slept through the afternoon, Saff started to try to wake them up, but neither of them stirred.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you" A familiar voice called.
"You again?" She asked, rolling her eyes. Fucking fish-features.
"I'm as happy about it as you are. I was hoping you'd drink yourself into oblivion before I had to come back with a message. But, I guess I can't punish the innocent because we don't mesh" He demonstrate by interlocking his own hands and pulling them apart. Saff rolled her eyes, waiting for him to get on with it. He just looked over at Dawn rather than carrying on though.
"Can- can you tell me so they can wake up and we can get on with our lives?" Saff asked impatiently as he paused for dramatic effect.
"There is a role for each of you, to stick to the plan would be appreciated by the powers, but, again, this is you we're talking about…"
"Have I ever failed you before?" She asked, a sweet smile on her lips for the man.
"You want the list? I had to transcribe it"
"Did you have to use a stone tablet?" She sniggered, letting his words roll off her.
"The gift. A choice of many. Let there be light where once there was not any. As in any sacred sacrifice, the sight's protective hand must guide the path. What is done must be done for the good of the last"
"You know, you're getting better at this gig. Something I can actually work with for once!"
"All I do is recite the word of those in charge" He said looking to the sky.
"I know, I know. You're the crabby messenger with the angelic voice, you don't make the rules" She smiled as if at an old friend, "Can I ask? Why is it only ever me that gets the messages, apart from our little group venture a while back?" The man sighed, her tendency to not take him or the carefully crafted words laid out by the powers seriously frustrated him, although he had to admit that she was growing on him, she continued when he didn't interrupt her, "If it's the three of us, shouldn't we all get involved? A group project approach to the apocalypse wouldn't be a bad thing. Is there a suggestion box outside the Power's offices? Pass that along for me?"
"Do you ever listen to what I tell you?" He sighed, kicking some sand which made Saff's eyes widen and a smile twitch at the corner of her lips, he's getting an attitude she laughed internally as he continued, "'The sight's protective hand must guide the path'. Do I have to spell it out for you?"
"That would actually be helpful" She smiled, lighting herself up a cigarette and offering him one from her pack. She had to allow herself to have at least one vice to cope with everything that was thrown at her.
"Can't, vocal chords" He said, gesturing to his throat as she shrugged and put her pack back into her pocket, "If you weren't around they wouldn't get the messages, they wouldn't know. They wouldn't see it in time, what must be done. What is expected. They would be going against their foes blind, as it were"
Saff rolled her eyes, lot of good any of the messages have even done. She couldn't recall even one that had helped them seriously prepare for Glory or the corrupted. He suddenly clapped and Saffron could feel herself sinking. The man watched, smiling slightly at her panic, as she started to get trapped in the quicksand. She thrashed wildly trying to free herself. She noticed the other two were slowly sinking as well, which made her scream. Not them. Don't take them too. She was up to her neck in it now and she tried her hardest to keep her head above the liquid sand. She looked around, the other two had disappeared. As had the messenger. She screamed, but it became muffled as she was buried alive, slowly sinking further. Her whole body seemed to be made up of sand as she slipped into the earth, her screams no longer heard by anyone. Not even herself.
She woke up with a start, clutching her throat and gasping for air. She decided she was going to have to put in an official complaint with the powers if this carried on. She was back on the beach, the sun shining down on the three of them. Dawn was making a sandcastle and Buffy was giving her instructions from where she was lying on her side. Dawn was sighing, saying she didn't need any help making a sandcastle. Apparently, she wasn't 8 years old and could be trusted to construct it herself. Saff sat up without warning, snapped out of her dream. This shocked Dawn and her spade knocked into her sandcastle. Buffy laughed, pointing out she did need her help. Dawn pulled a face and it was almost back to how it used to be. Except Joyce wasn't there to keep the peace. The pair looked back to Saff and their expressions faltered, the laughter fading as Saff stared into the distance. Dying in the visions was doing her head in.
"Saff? What's wrong?" Buffy asked moving to kneel next to her.
"I- I need to show you both something" She said calmer than she felt. The other two looked at each other before Dawn copied Buffy's actions and knelt next to their cousin. She quickly explained what might happen at the end before asking them to hold hands, in a circle. Dawn wiped her hands down her shorts, getting the last of the sticky, melted ice cream off her hands before joining them with the other girls. After she showed them the vision, they seemed stunned. Saff was glad they didn't feel the quicksand like she did. Well, she hoped they didn't. Something big was coming. All three were needed to defeat Glory and save the world. Again.
They packed up their beach stuff and walked together to leave. Buffy was in deep thought, as was Dawn. Saff paused to pick up a shell and smiled to herself. She slipped it into her pocket before linking arms with both of the girls. Trying to soothe them through their confusion and worry as they slowly left the beach.
xoxoxo
Saffron was wearing her version of a summer dress: all black with patterned purple flowers and spaghetti straps. The California climate was too hot today to wear anything else and she had already gone through a bottle of sun cream to try to stop her unnaturally pale skin from burning. She really was going to have to invest in some fake tan, she decided that morning after checking her tan against Buffy and Dawn's. Much like the weather outside, the crypt was surprisingly warm for once, although Saffron had her back on the cold floor so she couldn't appreciate the weather. Instead, she focused on appreciating her very attractive boyfriend. Spike was leaning over her, pressing her into the concrete beneath them. He kneeled between her spread legs, kissing her lazily, making sure to cherish every part of the woman laid before him. A sloppy passion was threatening to ignite between them as Saffron curled a hand into his blonde hair willing him closer. He tenderly stroked the side of her neck before angling her chin back and pressing kisses across her pale skin. He nipped at the skin, sucking lightly and enjoying the noises she couldn't help making. His hand was entwined with the hand that wasn't desperately clinging to the strands of his hair. As her hand entwined with his, she couldn't help but think about how intimate it felt. How close she was to this man. How much trust that they could afford each other. They had both seen each other at their most vulnerable, and they only loved each other more because of it. Their eyes locked and she was about to say all of the things that he already knew she was feeling.
That was until Saff's phone started to ring, spike started to reach for the coffee table to throw the cell currently resting on it against a wall. It was really annoying him. He was starting to think the world was against him and his girl getting time alone. Saffron managed to grab the phone before him, she wasn't willing to fork out for another one. She checked the caller ID and flipped it up to answer the call much to Spike's annoyance.
"Hey, T, I'm actually a little busy…" Saff smiled as Spike ran his hand over her, pulling a strap down her shoulder whilst whispering in her ear and biting down on her lobe lightly. There was a glint in his eye as he imagined all the ways to tease her while she had to keep her voice level for the person on the other side of the phone.
"Me and Willow had a fight"
"Shit" She said, softly moving spike to face her, a short shake of her head showing she was serious now. He shrugged as if he didn't care, but she could tell he definitely did care as he sulked. He sat up as she did the same, facing him. He was eyeing the cabinet that had a bottle of jack in it, he had been avoiding drinking in front of his girl, knowing she found being around others drinking too much of a temptation still. Instead he flicked on the tv, catching a rerun of a soap opera.
"She- she thinks that I don't think she's gay enough for me" Tara sighed, Saffron could feel the sorrow through the receiver. Saff asked for the full story and Tara gave a detailed account of the whole argument. Saff listened, trying to offer support where there was a pause. She offered a big tub of ice cream and movies that night which Tara happily accepted. Tara asked her to meet her at the Culture fair. It was today and Tara was going to see if Willow would be there, but she would need support if she didn't show. Saffron paused, looking at Spike but agreed saying she would meet her at the fair.
Spike looked up as she eventually flipped the phone down. He had been sulking through the whole conversation.
"I gotta go, babe. Lesbian drama to help sort out" Saff said, adjusting her clothes that had been moved out of Spike's way when he was busy earlier.
"Perhaps they need time to themselves?" Spike tried in vain, eyeing the cabinet again. He'd have to drink by himself instead if she left. He hated it when she left.
"It's a world culture fair, if Will turns up I'll bag some candy floss and come straight back to you. Hopefully, you won't be drowning in liquor by the time I come back"
"You have to know everything, don't you love? Nobody likes a know-it-all you know"
"I know!" She smiled pulling a face, "Your eye was wondering, sweets, I was starting to become jealous of Mr. Jack Daniels over there"
"Oi, watch it! Nothing could compare to my love for you, Honey"
"You know you can drink when I'm here. So you're not all sad and drinking alone"
"You don't need that kind of stress, pet. It's not sad, I've been drinking alone for centuries"
"I can handle it. Thank you, for looking after me though… You mean the world to me, I couldn't bear it if we had a fight like theirs. I missed you so much last time we were apart I could, uh, hardly breathe" She said, staring at her shoes as if they were suddenly really interesting. She was thinking about what an idiot she had been, how she had left him. They hadn't fought but there had been a distance. He pulled her to him, the kiss slower than usual an urgency was poured into every movement between them. He was kissing her as if this was the last kiss they would ever enjoy. The feeling behind it telling her that she didn't need to worry, that he was there as she was for him. "Stay?" He whispered, the kiss lingering. He hated the way his voice wavered. His bravado slipping as he wanted her to stay with him. She stared into his eyes, grey meeting cool blue. She smiled and flipped her mobile phone back up.
Saffron: sorry T, can't make the fair. i have a feeling Willow will be there looking 4 you anyway – don't want to ruin the moment
Tara: That's okay, I should talk to her myself! I'll message you if she comes. Is movie night still on? x
Saffron: definitely! i'll buy extra ice cream to make it up to you
Saffron: with any luck you'll be bringing Will back for movie night too! see u soon babe xx
Tara: Enjoy your quality time with Spike ;) x
Saffron laughed at the last message, she wasn't fooling anyone. She flipped her phone down and left it on the coffee table, turning her attention back to her vampire. She pulled him to her almost climbing him like a tree as she wrapped herself around him, kissing him anywhere she could. Her quick, excited kisses were sugary sweet. Seeing her like this made him happy. He loved this woman, all sides of her. He decided, with a smirk, to show his appreciation that she was staying. He had been leaving sloppy kisses down her neck and his hands had been roaming throughout Saff's text conversation and they both hummed in pleasure as she was able to turn her full attention back to him. She moved to catch his lips again but he moved back, shaking his head. There was a glint in his eyes that were already darkened with lust.
"Patience, love" He whispered, peeling her legs from where they had been wrapped around him and setting her in place on the sofa. Spike dropped to his knees in front of where she was sat. He took her thighs in his firm grip, spreading them, kissing sloppily up her thigh. Teasing her. She tried to bite back her moans but he shook his head, a sparkle in his eye. He wanted to hear her. To be with her. Her hands tangled in his blonde hair, panting and allowing herself to let go. His lips were magical and she leaned her head back against the back of the chair in pleasure.
xoxoxo
Spike and Saffron were lying on the cold floor of the lower level of the crypt, using a carpet as a blanket. They had a good sex life, they always had. But this had been something else. Even Spike was panting despite the fact that he had no real need. Saffron left a soft kiss on his shoulder, unable to form words. She ran her hands lightly along his chest, as he lay back with one hand behind his head. Their connection was stronger than ever and everything felt light and soft. As if neither of them had a care in the world. A faint ringing sound echoed through the crypt. Saffron closed her eyes, not wanting to have to move from the position she was in. Besides, she wasn't sure if she could stand without her legs going to jelly. Spike ran his hand across her arm, leaving goose bumps in his wake. She relaxed back into him, snuggling close and ignoring the noise.
By the third call, Saffron felt something. A bad feeling, one she should have noticed before. She got up, having to ignore Spike's pleading look, her bare feet making a slapping sound as she walked to the source of the noise. Her cell. She flipped up the phone, just missing the call. She had 12 missed calls, how had she missed the others? Oh, right. The phone started ringing again, this time she picked it up before it could ring a second time. It was Buffy. With bad news. Glory had found Tara and used her power to suck her brain. Tara wasn't well. Saff wiped her eyes, she hadn't been there. She had left her friend there with no one. Would it have been different if she had been there for her? She quickly gathered her thoughts and put on enough clothes for her to leave the confines of the crypt. She paused, looking at the cabinet and taking out the bottle of jack. She scrawled a note to Spike and ran into the night.
One hour. That's how long it took Saffron to leave the bench she frequented next to the lake. She had been staring at the jack in her hand. It was a full bottle. She knew it was stupid, but she couldn't help craving the sharp amber liquid. She clung to it as if it would bring Tara's mind back. Make her choose differently. Maybe if she had been there things would have been different.
Thirty minutes. That's how long it took to walk to the hospital and up to the ward she needed to be on. She stared for a while, unsure how to work out the signs pointing in various directions. She needed to see her friend. She felt responsible as she gripped the bottle tightly and followed a familiar figure that caught her eye.
One minute. The time it took Saffron to finally decide. She knocked on the locker room door she had followed him to. Ben opened it a smile on his face that turned to a more solemn one when he realised why the woman in front of him was here. She guessed it was a polite smile, she had probably interrupted something. She had 'borrowed' some pretty ribbon from the hospital giftshop and tied it around the bottle before thrusting it into the man's hand.
"Thanks, for helping us. You always seem to be around when one of us is in here. Uh, thanks, again" She finished awkwardly, as Ben stared at the jack in his hand.
"I can't take this" Ben looked panicked, and she guessed he felt he didn't deserve it. It was his job after all.
"I insist. You helped Dawn, J and now Tara. Please take it?"
"I don't think I'm allowed to take gifts. There was a whole seminar on what we can and can't take from patients"
"I'm an alcoholic, so really you're doing a duty of care. To me" She shrugged nonchalantly and noticed that his facial expression didn't change, either he wasn't fazed by this revelation or he already knew. She wasn't sure which, so she carried on babbling, "I stole the decoration from the giftshop if that's a better excuse? You're saving me from myself, when you think about it" He took it eventually and directed Saffron towards the ward Tara was on.
30 seconds. The time it took Saffron to inevitably burst into tears at the sight of what happened to Tara. She ran over to her and grabbed her hand, Tara started to speak in riddles and Saff cried harder at her friend's new demeaner. A noise behind her made her jump, "Oh my god" Saffron whipped around and saw Willow sitting staring, "Is there- is there anything I can do?" Saffron asked. She walked over to sit next to her friend, who was sat facing Tara, unable to tear her eyes away from her girlfriend. Things had been awkward between Saff and Willow, but she seemed to have forgotten what with the love of her life losing her mind.
"No, she's- Glory she-" Willow started, unable to finish as she watched Tara burst into a fit of laughter over nothing.
"I'm sorry, Will. She told me about your fight but she knew things would be okay, she was ready to make up she told me herself"
"She spoke to you about it?"
"You know she always does. Biggest heart of any of us and she forgave me almost instantly for, uh, for everything"
"I miss her. She's here but I miss her" Willow choked out, a single tear running down her cheek.
"It'll be okay, Will. We'll get her back"
"How? She's won. As far as I can see, Glory's won" Willow stated and saffron could feel that her friend was dangerously close to giving up. The redhead's despair crashing over her.
"Willow, don't give up. Please, you can't give up. Things go weird when you give up, we have to fight for everyone else as much as ourselves" She rested a hand on Willow's shoulder willing her to feel the calmness as she continued, "I'm here for good this time and we're going to get Tara back together… if that's what you want"
Willow didn't reply verbally, she couldn't. She was scared that if she opened her mouth she would crumble and Saff was right, she needed to be strong right now. She couldn't give up, they needed to get Tara back. She nodded, confirming that she wanted Saffron to help. She needed her friend back. Willow hugged Saffron tightly, both girls willing the tears in their eyes not to spill over again.
Saffron woke up with Willow leaning on her shoulder. The red head was sleeping, a light frown was on her face but at least she was able to sleep. Tara was happily sleeping and Saffron watched her as she woke up slowly. You couldn't tell anything was different from where she was sat now. The others had been in and out and Tara would be released in the morning, Saffron hadn't left for 24 hours. She and willow had spoken about everything, their friendship appeared to be back and the trust was slowly returning. Saffron promised that she wouldn't have to care for Tara alone, that she would be there and she could feel that Willow appreciated it. The door to the hospital room opened dramatically wide and Spike sauntered in as Dawn followed. Saffron frowned checking the time on the clock on the wall, it was 3am. Dawn should be in bed.
"What are you two doing out at this hour?"
"Well, I'm a creature of the night and the bit's been following me around like a lost sheep since big cuz went awol again"
"I, uh, needed to see that you were really here" Dawn explained, looking at her shoes. She was worried Saff had disappeared again, especially when Spike mentioned she had taken a bottle of Jack.
"Said she was, didn't I?" Spike directed at Dawn. He'd had faith in Saffron even when she hadn't had faith in herself. That wasn't going away.
"I can tell you also wanted the trip out. How did you get past Buffy?"
"She's busy" Dawn shrugged, as if she wasn't bothered. But Saffron could feel that she definitely was. Or at least something was bothering her.
"We're taking you home, Saff. Not much you can do for the girl here"
"I feel responsible… I should have gone to the fair…" Saffron whispered, watching her friend sleeping peacefully in her hospital bed.
"You're not responsible, Saffy. She would never blame you, and neither do I. Go, get some rest. Xander's coming in the morning to help bring her home" willow said sleepily, her hair was messy on one side where she had been leaning.
"I'll come and visit whenever, just call me. I'm here for both of you" Saffron said, after a hesitation where she looked between Tara and Willow and Spike and Dawn.
"I know, you always have been when it counts. Thank you" Will stood up and walked over to her friend, giving her a tight hug.
She turned to follow Spike and Dawn out and linked arms with Dawn as they walked back through the hospital. Saff thanked them both for looking out for her, knowing that they worry about her. She hoped they knew how much they meant to her.
xoxoxo
The trio walked in silence, with Saffron sneaking glances at Dawn every now and again. The girl was going through her own torment inside her head and Saffron didn't know whether to let on that she knew. She kept her arm linked with Dawn's, not letting go just to release herself from the pain the younger girl could feel. She had to stand with her younger cousin, after leaving her by herself for too long. Neglecting her for her own selfish troubles. Dawn abruptly stopped, halting Saffron in her tracks aswell. Spike, who had been walking slightly ahead, turned back when he heard Dawn's voice.
"I understand, you know. I get it now" Dawn said quietly, unhooking her arm from her older cousin's. She went and sat on the kerb, staring at the tarmac as if it was the most interesting thing on earth.
"What's that rising Dawn?" Saffron asked slowly.
"Glory thinks Tara's the key. But I'm the key. I am. And anything that happens to Tara is 'cause of me. Spike, your bruises, your limp... that's all me too" The poor girl started to sob, her head in her hands, "I'm like a lightning rod for pain and hurt. And everyone around me suffers and dies. I must be something so horrible to cause so much pain... and evil"
"Rot!" Spike exclaimed, "Listen, platelet, I know a thing or two about being evil. And you're not it"
"Hey, sweet girl. It's not your fault, none of it is" Saffron said softly as she sank to Dawn's level and sat on the kerb herself, "It wasn't true for me and it definitely isn't true for you. Anything that happens, is on Glory. On the powers that be. You are not responsible for whatever it is these idiots think is supposed to happen" Spike gave her a look as if to tell Saffron she should follow her own advice, to stop feeling so responsible. And she was, she was trying to at least. Saffron stroked Dawn's hair, "So yeah, you can throw a tantrum, drink yourself into oblivion or just sit yourself on the kerb saturating yourself in the misery of it all. But then, you have to get up and put one foot in front of the other and keep going"
There had been a long pause, as Dawn thought about Saff's words. Spike was pacing now, looking up at the sky every now and again, "Better get the pair of you home, dawn's around the corner – can't protect you if you're staying around here like bloody sitting ducks"
"It's still so dark" Dawn said flatly, stray tears still rolling down her cheeks.
"Well, they say it's always darkest before Dawn and it must be true because before I realised I had you, everything was dark. I'm not letting you go. Not with Glory, not to that place of self-loathing"
"I'm the reason for all of this, you shouldn't be anywhere near me" Dawn said again, realising how closely her words echoed that of her cousins months before.
"Don't push us away, let me make those mistakes so you don't have to" Saffron said firmly, "We'll fight for you until our last breath"
"And some of us have the luxury of fighting for you even beyond that, nibblet" He said, patting her head awkwardly, "Now let's bloody go! Ash and dust can't throw a punch at the nasties of the night now can they?" He said, a sense of urgency as it really did seem to be getting lighter now. Dawn would need to go to school, after all they had guaranteed she wouldn't miss any classes again. Saff stood up, holding her hand out for the younger brunette. She accepted, wiping her face as the three of them quickly made it back before someone could burst into flames in the middle of the street.
When Saffron woke up, it took her a while to realise where she was. She had slept in so many places that weren't her bed recently, it almost felt wrong to be waking in her double bed in the basement of Revello. Her sheets smelt of Spike, but his side of the bed was empty. She couldn't feel any emotions in the house, which meant she was probably alone in it. Everyone was busy at the moment, she understood. But being alone was when her mind started to wander. The thoughts and the anger that had settled in her chest when Joyce died started to fester which is when she had started to look for a bottle. Her attitude had changed, but the comfort from the addiction was something she guiltily missed. Being alone was harder than being with the others because she could take strength from them as well as herself. But she was determined to go on as normal. She took it step by step, focusing her mind on each task at hand.
She started by sitting herself on the edge of her bed, picking out something to wear and slowly moving to the drawers and her wardrobe to retrieve items of clothing. Next step was to get changed, throw her hair into a high ponytail and collect jewellery from around the room to wear for the day. She sat in front of her mirror, her makeup bag in front of her which would distract her for long enough. She found doing her makeup to be therapeutic, a task that didn't have a right or wrong answer.
She finally finished getting ready for an empty day. The day would stretch before her, no plans or distractions left to fill her time. She would have to wait for Dawn to be home from school or Willow to call with an update about how Tara's doing. Buffy could be anywhere and Xander and Giles still weren't talking to her properly. They were uncomfortable when she was in the room and she didn't want to make them feel that way. She padded up the stairs, squinting in confusion as she noticed all of the curtains were closed. She went up to see if there was any washing that needed doing – she might as well considering she was no longer employed it seemed.
She padded to the kitchen and just stared. The room was empty and dark, all the blinds were closed. Usually when she had finally woken up, the others would be sat around the kitchen talking and laughing while Joyce cooked. Dawn would be doing extra credit work before she left for school and Buffy would be complaining about either her recent beauty treatment that hadn't worked or that week's evil bloodsucker that was getting on her nerves. She heard a soft noise behind her, alerting her that someone else was in the house and she turned to see who it was. She was stood facing a large collection of purple flowers.
"Got you these" A familiar British accent spoke from behind the plant.
"Flowers! Did I miss our anniversary?"
"One month away, you know that. They're Honeysuckle, pet"
"They're beautiful… aren't they poisonous?" She asked slowly as Spike shook his head softly, explaining they wouldn't be if she didn't decide to make a snack out of them.
"When I was younger, flowers had a meaning…"
"Oh, I know. Oleander's a nasty bastard. More toxic than these… probably" she smiled at him, a mix of surprised and happy that he had brought her the plant. He seemed to have actually gone out of his way to buy them too. He felt she deserved something normal, a boyfriend bringing his girl flowers. Plus, it was a sort of thank you for barely leaving his side while he was healing. She beamed, her smile glowing and he couldn't help matching it. He had missed that smile.
"Well, giving a honeysuckle to your… honey signifies a bond of devotion and affection between two people" He said handing them to her. She set them on the counter after fussing over them.
"I like that. A flower for the both of us" She smiled, before adding, "And they said romance was dead!"
"Look at me, love. It is dead" She laughed at this. The first time in a long time he had heard that noise. He savoured it, as she savoured the feeling of the laughter in her throat. Only with him. He took her waist in his hand and pulled her close. She looked up at him, still smiling.
"Thank you, I was at a loose end on my own in the house" She admitted. He knew she would struggle alone in the house for the day, she had confided in him one of the many nights they had spent together when he was healing. She had stayed up late, until 5am with him most nights to be able to keep an eye on him. In that time, where her eyes grew weary, but she refused to sleep as he told her to, she found talking about herself easier. When they had been in each other's arms under the safety of the layers of blankets and throw pillows on Spike's bed, they both recounted their worst fears and memories as well as many happy ones too. They shared until they had nothing left hidden.
"I wouldn't go wondering off when I have you to myself, pet. I'm not going anywhere" He said, with one of those smiles he saved for only her.
"This really is love, isn't it?"
"Mm, it always has been. Always will be Honeysuckle" He dipped her slightly in his arms, leaning against her for a deeper kiss. He had run through Sunnydale in his ratty old blanket to meet the man he had contacted about the honeysuckle plant. Almost bursting into flames had been worth it, to see the smile on her lips. He scooped her up, allowing her to wrap herself around him as he walked into the darkened living room. He planted her on the sofa, it was new as they had needed to change the living room around after how they had discovered Joyce. There was nothing particularly special about sitting together on a sofa in front of reruns of exceptionally unfunny sitcoms, but for them it was everything. It was a chance to be together, a chance to protect each other from the outside world.
"An eternity with you would be heaven, Spike" She smiled softly as his brows knitted together. She meant it and she had said it as if it was so obvious. She could spend an eternity with him. He leant in, meeting her lips softly with his again, before allowing her to curl up into his side. Those words were music to his ears, he loved this woman. She was worth it. Worth everything.
xoxoxo
Saffron hadn't been there when Buffy had told Willow not to go after Glory, but she could have told her that her words wouldn't have mattered. When she had seen what she had done to Spike she had wanted to tear her limb from limb, but she wouldn't have lived to tell the tale if she had even attempted it. Willow had power and went to attack Glory. From what Buffy and willow explained, they had trapped Glory for now but for how long they weren't sure.
"Chicken salad?" Buffy asked, checking the sandwiches in the Ziploc bag. The five women were hiding out in Tara and Willow's room on campus. Willow said it was hers and Buffy handed it over, "Sad looking cheese?" Buffy asked with a slight smile as Saffron said it was hers. She took it as Buffy started to take more wrapped sandwiches out of the bag, "Eggplant, that's me. Salami with… ew, peanut butter?"
"Dawn" Both Buffy and Saffron said at the same time, grimacing.
"Yeah, like eggplant is normal. It's what, half egg, half plant? 'Cause that's just unnatural"
"Fucking eggplant, who came up with that crap?! They're not eggplants they're bloody aubergines!" Saffron exclaimed, she had never got over some of the names they used here. Everyone except Tara rolled their eyes, it was a familiar rant anytime the word eggplant came up, but they were glad to hear something so familiar at such an uncertain time.
"What's Tara got?" Willow asked, moving the conversation away from the correct word for the vegetable.
"I got her tuna. Does she like...?" Dawn asked as Willow drew Tara's attention to the sandwich. Tara anxiously looked to Willow, then back at the sandwich.
"Three thimbles all in a row. One two three, weeee!" Tara said suddenly, before looking scared, "Willow?" She asked anxiously cowering from the other three in the room. Willow slowly took a pudding cup instead and started to spoon feed Tara.
"That's my girl" Willow whispered softly. The others watched, their expressions a mixture of sad and worry for their friend as Willow continued to feed her. Saffron tried to eat her own sandwich but the dry bread stuck to the roof of her mouth and she struggled to swallow. She felt uneasy, as if something bad was coming. Or, more bad. This was the point where she would consult the cards, but she still hadn't reconciled herself with them or the powers properly.
"Can I help?" Dawn asked cautiously and Saff sent her an encouraging look as Willow smiled, handing her the pudding cup. She could tell it was Dawn's way of helping, making right something she still felt responsible for.
Willow started to explain everything the Doctor had said about caring for Tara. It made Saff too sad to hear again, instead her mind started to wander.
Giles was sat in the magic box with a cup of tea, he blew on the steaming liquid before taking a small sip and going back to sorting through the prophecies. The charred ones that Saffron had left dumped outside. He took as many as he could, noting that one had stayed completely intact. The fire had touched it but hadn't done any damage. He started to read this one first, noting something down here and there that could help.
He heard someone clear their throat, but he ignored it. There was a pause for a moment, before the cough sounded again, Giles looked up obviously annoyed to be interrupted, but looked more annoyed when he saw who it was. He turned back to the prophecies.
"Uh, you need any help with that?" She pointed to the papers he was so intently reading, trying her best to get back on Giles' good side.
"I believe I was, ah, told to 'stick my prophecies' as you so wittily put it"
"G, I know what I said… I didn't mean it, it was the drink-"
"Will you take some bloody responsibility!"
"I am. Responsibility officially taken. I thought I was saving you. It's not some line to make you all trust me again, I genuinely believed that I was the problem. A big part of me still does…" She trailed off, looking at Giles who had stopped what he was doing to listen. She paused, waiting for him to shout or call her an idiot, but he didn't say anything. So she continued, "I felt like I was poisoning everyone I loved, signing their fate for some untold destined show-down with whoever wanted to take the next shot at me. Or you. Or Buffy. Or Dawn, or- do I need to go on?" Giles paused for a moment, if she hadn't been hyper-aware of his emotional state she might have attributed it as understanding. But he just turned back to the prophecies he was trying to transcribe before the paper disintegrated.
"Your disapproval is killing me, G" Saffron couldn't help adding. She missed him. Everything had started to go back to normal and then she messed it up again. She had aimed for humour, but she meant it. Her father figure was unmoving in his opinion of her. And it stung.
She was pulled out of the memory by a crack as the front of the room was ripped from in front of them. Outside air could be smelt and sunlight filtered in as Glory hobbled over the cracked glass of the wreckage she had just made.
Tara stared at Dawn, grabbing at her, highlighting to Glory that she was the key. Glory smiled knowingly, not moving her eyes from Dawn. Buffy dipped her head at both Willow and Saffron. They had spoken about what they should do when Glory found out about Dawn. Buffy pulled Dawn through the door and ran off, trying to get a head start on Glory as Willow tried her best to distract the Hell God with a spell. Saffron ran off in the opposite direction than her cousins, realising it was time.