Chapter 39:
Sunnydale, CA
Saffron had run straight to Spike's telling him that they needed to get transport, like they had spoken about with Buffy a week previously. They pulled up in the truck, letting the group that were waiting pile in through the side entrance.
"What are they doing here?" Giles asked, looking between the pair. Spike was at the steering wheel and Saffron was leaning against him from the passenger seat. Both looked towards the door, their cheeks touching as they looked at their new passengers.
"Just out for a jaunt, thought we'd swing by and say howdy" Spike quipped sarcastically. Saffron bit back a smile as she elaborated, "Dawn's my cousin. Don't know if you noticed, but it only mentioned three. I could ask what you're doing here, G"
"Fine, then what about him" Giles gestured towards spike.
"He's here because we need him" Buffy explained as calmly as she could. She had never given up on Saffron and in her eyes, Spike had proved himself to care about Saffron enough to want to protect those she cared about too.
"The hell we do" Xander sulked.
"If Glory finds us, he's the only one besides me that has any chance of protecting Dawn"
"Buffy, come on they're not exactly trustw-" Xander started, saying what Giles had been thinking despite the fact that the pair had been there for Dawn as much as the others, if not more of late.
"Look, this isn't a discussion! She stays. He stays. They both stay. Get over it!" She takes one of the maps and storms into the back room, slamming the door.
Spike grinned smugly, his goggles over his eyes to protect him from the sun adding to the effect. He then leaned in, meeting Saffron's lips in a hugely inappropriate kiss as Giles glared at him, as if he wished he could burn a hole through the vampire.
"Buckle up, kids, Daddy's putting the hammer down!" he finally exclaimed as the pair ended their kiss, turning back to the front. Saffron had to bite back another grin as Giles and Xander stared at him, evidently appalled.
She took out her mp3 player, switching between songs as she needed the distraction. Something to calm her nerves that wasn't a shot of alcohol. She listened to the heavy bass, closing her eyes as if it was classical music. To her, punk music was more calming. She took an earbud out, realising Spike was talking.
"Don't mind them, pet, jealous, uptight prats is what they are. I love and trust you, you don't have to prove yourself to the people that matter"
"Thanks" She whispered softly before asking, "Fancy a listen?" He nodded and she popped the earbud into his ear closest to her and they both listened intently to the music blasting from the mp3. Spike couldn't help moving his head and tapping his leg along to the punk jam, wishing it was just him and his girl on this road trip.
65 miles outside Sunnydale:
There had been a long silence for a while. The drive had been long, feeling even longer for Saffron because of the cocktail of emotions present in the van. And longer for the others because of Xander's constant car sickness and Tara's confused babbling. Saffron was trying to get Spike to play eye spy with her, but he wouldn't bite. Makes a change, she joked to herself. She unbuckled herself from the passenger seat and explained that she needed to stretch her legs, Spike nodded his understanding as he kept an eye on the road. She draped her arms around Spike's shoulders, thanking him for being here despite the constant daggers being sent their way. He said he wouldn't be anywhere else. They knew they'd never have left each other's side. Not again, not by choice. She kissed him on the side of his face, hugging him close and pretended the gagging she could hear was Xander's car sickness and not him being a child about their relationship.
Saff walked around the RV to exercise her aching legs before moving towards where the others were grouped around the table.
"Hey, uh, An, can you budge up?" Saff asked, knowing that Anya could bluntly call her out in front of the others.
"Okay, but only because I forgive you"
"Uh, you- you forgive me!?" Saff asked incredulously at her nonchalant tone.
"Yes" Anya nodded as if it didn't mean much. She had decided that things were hard on Saffron and she had always been fond of her anyway. Xander had rolled his eyes but kept his head between his legs.
"Thanks, that means a lot, you're actually my favourite ex-demon, you know that right?"
"Well, based on personal experience I am probably one of the only ex-demons left, many of us die without having a purpose. But I have a purpose!" She exclaimed happily.
"Helping to save the world?" Saff asked.
"No! Making money and having lots of orgasms!" Anya explained as Saffron chuckled. She had missed this kind of conversation.
"Ah yes, the American dream" Giles deadpanned, muttering under his breath after overhearing the conversation. Tara started to pull on the hooped earring in Saff's ear. She distractedly took it off and passed it to her, patting her hand which made Tara cry out, she had forgotten about the coldness and Tara wasn't expecting it. She cowered away from Saffron and into Willow's side as the redhead whispered soft reassurances to her. She mouthed 'sorry' to Willow who just shook her head in understanding. Tara held on to the hoop tightly despite still being uncomfortable. Saffron could feel her distress as well as Dawn's and she moved to sit next to the younger brunette to see if she could help her instead.
"Hey sweet girl, you okay?" Dawn shrugged and Saff wrapped her arm around her, "Chin up, Dawny. You might be able to make a new life in Mexico like you used to threaten as a kid"
"You want to go to Mexico?" Anya asked, she was so bored she decided to take an interest in their conversation.
"When she was little Dawn used to pack a little suitcase and say she was running away" Saff smiled as her younger cousin's mouth twitched at the memory.
"I only got as far as the end of the street before Buffy or Mom used to run after me. Saff never did, she used to give me a dollar to start my new life with" She elaborated.
"I was being encouraging for your big adventure. Plus a dollar? That's like a hundred quid to a ten-year-old"
"Love, will you take over?" Spike called over his shoulder to his girl, interrupting the conversation. His leg was cramping and he trusted she could drive at a decent pace. She smiled widely and practically skipped to the front of the RV, only faltering when an older voice exclaimed, "Absolutely not! I plan on living past the next few hours!" Giles had given Saffron a couple of lessons when she was younger. Never again.
xoxoxo
80 miles outside of Sunnydale:
The trip was long and everyone was getting agitated, not just because Anya wouldn't shut up. Giles had taken over the driving and they were going at a snail's pace through the dirt roads. Willow tried her best to keep Tara calm, with a little help from Saff's abilities. Spike was sat against the wall with Saffron leaning against him. Their hands were entwined as they endured the rest of the journey. Anya asked if they knew where they were going yet, receiving a collective eye-roll before Spike couldn't help himself, "We'd already be somewhere if Captain Slowpoke would give up the wheel. Hey! Gramps! Bloody step on it!"
"Step on what? I've driven tricycles with more power" Giles said, turning to glare at the vampire. Spike started to say something back, but Saffron took his arm in her other hand softly and whispered, "If we don't keep a lid on it, they're gonna toss us out of the RV babe"
Spike squeezed his girls hand, nodding an understanding and settling back down into their spot on the floor. His hands were still entwined with Saff's, a grip that was so tight Saff was sure a bone would be broken, but she wouldn't say anything. She liked his touch. Dawn came to sit next to the lovers who had claimed the corner as their own. She didn't want to hear about Xander's queasy-ness any longer. Saff asked to plait Dawn's hair, weaving comfort into each movement as the girl tried to relax. She was on edge, Saffron could feel it. But she didn't let go.
"I shoulda nicked that Porsche I had my eye on. There's just enough room for me, you, and big cuz" Spike whispered to Dawn as he glared at the back of Giles' head. Spike had moved to rest his hand on Saffron's leg, not wanting to lose contact with her. He knew that she would no doubt be taking on Dawn's worries as her own and wanted to show he was right there with her. He squeezed her thigh when he mentioned he had wanted to just take the two of them, smiling at her slightly.
"It's the three, we'd need Buffy along too" Saffron reminded him, still plaiting Dawn's silky brown hair.
"We could have locked the slayer in the boot" He shrugged. Xander gave Spike a queasy glare which the vampire matched, as if asking what he was looking at.
"Would you give it a rest, or..."
"Or what, you're gonna toss your cookies on my shoes?" his hand on saff's thigh was tightening enough for her to make a soft complaint. He hadn't realised the grip and he instantly released his hold, not able to move his hand from her, but enough so he wouldn't make her uncomfortable.
"Or you can be undead man walking. See how fast you can hitch a ride with a fl-flaming thumb"
"Don't, love. Not worth the effort. Or the smell if he really does throw up" She said as spike looked like he would run at the man and tackle him. She stopped plaiting Dawn's hair and moved to rest her hands over the one he had on her thigh. Sending comfort over him, lapping like waves.
"Fine… Shrimp." Spike whispered, he couldn't help the last dig as Xander gagged at his words, moved from his seat at the table and stumbled to the front, falling into the passenger seat beside Giles.
"That guy is bloodsuckin' the last nerve right outta me" Xander complained, whispering to the driver.
"Well, Buffy has a point. In a confrontation, Spike may prove... useful"
Saffron and Spike moved to sit on the spot that Xander had just got up from, Saffron resting her legs over Spike's lap as his hands rubbed her thigh absentmindedly. He was listening intently to a conversation where he happened to be the central topic. Saffron was talking animatedly to Anya and Dawn at the table as Willow continued to look through the book for a spell. Tara was getting restless opposite them.
"I don't know if Buffy's thinkin' too clear on that one, or anything else right now. I've never seen her so..." Xander continued, whispering to Giles at the front.
"She's been through more than her fair share of late. She just needs a chance to catch her breath, regroup. She'll be all right"
Spike stood up, interrupting everyone's conversation. Everyone stopped and stared at the man as he challenged the men sat at the front.
"Oh yeah cos the Slayer can do no wrong, despite her doing, oh yeah, plenty of wrong! I've seen the slayer run down the wrong path, jumping right in guns blazing, or stakes raised that is, with little rhyme or bloody reason. She's made countless mistakes when things have been tough and she hasn't been made into the sodding pariah that Saff has!"
"Spike, when I want your opinion I'll- well, I'll never want your opinion" Giles said and turned back to the steering wheel. Spike sneered but he wasn't done, he knew they were listening despite their show of ignoring him.
"She's 'been through her fair share of late', well so has everyone here but oh no, it's not the bloody Hell God that's made out as the big bad, apparently it's Saffron that's the demon in the henhouse!" He shouted to the backs of Xander and Giles who were trying to ignore him. Saff stood up at this, her hand resting on his shoulder, softly rubbing in circular motions to comfort him.
"It's, uh, fox in the henhouse. What would a demon be doing in a henhouse?" Saffron hissed, cutting in before Giles or Xander could open their mouths again, a ghost of a smile on her face.
"A Gordolox demon could sneak in, do some real damage to the little blighters" He hissed back smirking. He had turned, distracted from his outburst, not one to pass up a squabble.
"Yeah but why would he want to sneak in? Don't they prefer larger mammals like, say, goats?" She asked, as he mouthed 'know-it-all' at her.
"You know what? That's not the point!" He shouted, turning back to Giles and Xander, "Point is this, you lot are fucking hypocrites! Saffron has just as many bippity boppity bloody prophecies as the slayer. Just as many tough spots to get out of and just as many life lessons to learn, and you know what she hasn't had? Full support from the likes of you!"
"She had plenty of chances, we never forced the bottle to her mouth!" Xander whipped around and Saffron winced as if she had been shot with the force of his words and moved to sit back down. Spike instinctively stepped in front of her as if he could shield her from the opinions of the others.
"Yes, well, Buffy has managed to do what has been best for others despite the threat" Giles spoke, one eye on the road.
"Now you are being a prat! How many times has she run away from her responsibilities leaving the fantastic-bloody-four here to try and keep up the demon-slaying quota? Or how many times did the Slayer run moon-eyed into danger with the rest of your damned little Scooby club in tow when Angel was in untold trouble from the likes of me?" Saff mimed to cut out painting himself as the bad guy but he shrugged, maintaining his point, "The only thing Saff's guilty of is her own self-doubt and bloody awful taste in booze! She wasn't doing it to hurt you personally, she was in pain, surely you're not too blind to see that are you grandad?"
Up until now, Saffron had just been watching the conversation in silence. She usually wouldn't back down from a fight but this is a situation she had created herself and despite Spike's kind defense, she agreed with the other men. She hadn't done her best for others despite the perceived threat at the time. Despite all of this, she felt that Giles and Xander, were actually considering his words. She squinted but turned back to Spike, rubbing her hand across his arm. She often insisted she could handle her own battles but having him in her corner was one of the best feelings she could describe. She thanked him, whispering her love for him as he puffed out his chest. She settled down close to him, nestling her head in the crook of his neck, not caring about their surroundings or the people that might be glaring in their direction. They held onto each other, curled up in the corner of the RV. Their corner. She had him and he had her. They just wanted to hold on to that.
120 miles outside of Sunnydale:
Willow continued studying her book, stroking Tara's hair absentmindedly. Dawn peered over her shoulder as Willow explained she was struggling to find a barrier spell to protect them all. They needed to be standing still for it to work. The others were all sat around, bored and annoyed with at least one other person that was in the RV with them.
"Red, can I borrow that?" Spike asked, pointing at a book he recognised.
"Sure, doesn't have any helpful spells though, I've checked" Willow explained and Spike nodded. He started looking through the book intently. There had been a long pause, everyone was beyond restless. Dawn and Anya were playing eye spy; Saffron was sleeping lightly on Spike's shoulder while he read; Giles was still driving as Xander had his head between his legs yet again and Tara was bending Saffron's silver hoop earring out of shape.
"Saff, love?" he asked after a while of flipping through the book, shaking her softly.
"Yeah?" She whispered for her own benefit, she was still resting on his shoulder with her eyes closed and was unaware of Spike's satisfied smirk.
"Gordolox demons do eat chickens, says so in this book"
"Whatever" She muttered, "No one likes a know-it-all, William" She smiled, her eyes still closed as she felt the low warning growl from Spike vibrating against her. At the same moment, Tara started reaching for Dawn. The green light was all she could see and it was so pretty. She wanted one. Willow tried her best to calm her down as Dawn looked around awkwardly and offered the occupants of the van some food. Anya's eyes lit up at this as she brandished a pan and a tin of spam excitedly.
"Who's up for some tasty fried meat products?"
"You can count me out, babe" Saffron said, thanking the Gods above, that she did not believe in nor trust, that she didn't eat meat. Mostly because she had seen what Anya considered cooking and the spam, if it wasn't already a dead animal, would not have been long for this world. She had visions of the block of charred tin being thrown out of the RV.
"I came prepared for you!" Anya said, handing Saffron a jar of peanut butter and a spoon, "Plenty of protein!"
"Oh, uh, thanks" Saffron said, holding the jar up as if she was saying 'cheers'. This was actually surprisingly thoughtful from Anya, especially considering she thought she'd lost this particular friend until very recently. Anya nodded at her action, feeling pleased with herself.
Saffron was now sat on the floor next to the table, tentatively dipping a spoon in some of the peanut butter as she leaned against Spike's leg. She was resting against him as he decided to make himself useful and actually research some spells for the witch to mess up seeing as he had nothing better to do. Willow was pouring over another book and Dawn was reading over her shoulder when she thought nobody was looking. Giles was still driving and Xander was hugging a bucket to him as he sat in the passenger seat. Anya was still describing the wonders of spam, trying to get at least one person interested in the food she had packed. Buffy was still holed up in the back room, staring blankly at maps and various scrolls.
Tara reached over to the window and opened the blinds wide. Sunlight streamed into the room, directly hitting Spike's hand as he started to turn a page.
"Ow! Bloody hell!" Spike jumped up and moved away from the table, almost stepping on Saff as he got out of his seat. Willow pulled Tara back from the window, closing the blind again. Dawn and the others watched as smoke started to fill the small space.
"Tara, no! What did I tell you?!" Willow scolded as Tara whined loudly in protest. Spike cradled his smoking hand, his face pained. Saffron sprung up to help him, grabbing some aloe vera. This wasn't the couple's first time in a situation like this and Saff had brought it with her knowing the likelihood of this happening. Willow apologised profusely to the vampire, explaining Tara doesn't know what she's doing. Spike nodded his understanding as Saffron tended to his hand.
"No biggie. Look, the skin's already stopped smoking. You go ahead and play peek-a-boo with Mr. Sunshine all you like. It keeps the ride from getting boring" Spike reassured the girl. Saffron paused what she was doing with his hand, looking up at him through her eyelashes. That look was back. She was proud of him, he was kind and understanding despite what anyone else said, he made her proud to be his girl. The look told him he was loved, cherished even by this woman. The pair whispered a conversation, one where Saff told him everything the look had already revealed as she lathered on a thick layer of gel to soothe the burn on his hand and sat him down.
"All the light is gone. All dark. All dark" Tara said loudly, cutting through everyone's conversations, the confused brunette on the verge of tears. Buffy opened the sliding door, checking on the commotion as the curiosity had gotten the better of her. A sharp crackle filled the room and Tara could see several lights in each corner. Purple, Silver and green. Tara's eyes widened in excitement, she didn't know where to reach first. Such pretty colours. Saffron clutched her head in agony as Tara started to repeat one word over.
"Three Three Three Three Three Three Three Three Three Three Three Three Three"
It was so familiar, how had she not recognised the voice? She had heard Tara saying this before. Months ago. Inside her head. Willow tried desperately to make Tara be quiet as Buffy closed the sliding doors and Saffron curled into Spike's side. Even when Tara's chanting subsided, it continued in Saffron's head for a long time.
xoxoxo
An undetermined number of miles outside of Sunnydale:
They were all still stuck in the truck. The walls started to feel as if they were closing in and Saffron had a killer headache. Everyone had lost track of where they were, they had no fixed destination and at this point, there were no landmarks that made sense to where they were on the map. It didn't help that the map had started smoking when Tara decided to open the blinds again when spike was studying it. Saffron took Spike's hand in hers and brought it to her lips, kissing the burned hand softly. Anya had finally convinced the others to try some of her spam and Saff winced knowing the smell would bring her more discomfort. Dawn walked over, knowing this, and asked Saff to come with her to check on Buffy. That was a good plan.
They slid the door open, a crackle echoed around the tiny space. Flashes of different colours making Saffron think she might be getting a migraine. But the others looked around too, frowns on their faces.
"Hey. I think Anya's gonna try to cook. Wanna come watch the tears and recriminations?" Dawn said, unsure if she should mention what she had just felt and seen.
"It'll be funny, Buff! Have you ever seen Anya cook? It's worse than you can imagine!" Saff whispered with glee. She was used to strange things going on in her head and was even more used to acting as normal when they did.
"Maybe later" Buffy told the pair with a small smile. The crackle sounded around the small space like a whip. They flinched but were instantly hit with a feeling they couldn't describe. A light feeling. A connection. The love they had for each other was reflected all around them. Their bond. The care and drive to protect each other from anything. They sat in silence. Unsure whether to move or speak.
"Uh, thanks" Dawn said to the girls after a long pause where they all sort of looked at each other.
"For what?"
"You know. Pretty much everything" She reached and squeezed both of her older relatives hands, her eyes teary. Saffron didn't feel she deserved this, although she could tell Dawn was being genuine.
"Yeah. I'm doin' a great job" Buffy muttered to herself.
"You are, Buff. You've been amazing, you never gave up on keeping either of us safe" Saff confirmed, "Thank you"
"I'm the Slayer. The chosen one. All mythic and defender-y. Evil nasties are supposed to flee from me. Not the other way around"
"Well, I'm meant to be the True Sight, but have you ever seen me make the right decision on anything? I'm meant to be this untold good in the universe and yet I never seem to do anything right, anything good…" She tailed off before reassuring her cousin, "Trust me. You're doing a great job"
"Anyway, you're not fleeing. You're... moving at a brisk pace" Dawn added encouragingly. She hated seeing Buffy doubt herself as much as Saff hated feeling it.
"Quaintly referred to in some cultures as the big scaredy runaway" Buffy smiled at the girls tightly, before her expression sombered again, "It just keeps coming. Glory... Riley... Tara... Mom" Buffy left off Saffron's name, but she was definitely on the list. And Saff knew it.
"Hayley" Saff whispered sadly to herself, adding another name to the list.
"I know. But there's a bright side" Dawn said, squeezing both her older relative's hands in comfort.
"And what might that be babe?"
"At least things can't get any crazier. Right?" Dawn smiled. Just as suddenly as she made the statement, they all jumped up as an arrow shoots through the window and landed in the wall close to Buffy's head. Dawn stared at it in horror as Saff rolled her eyes.
"You know this is your fault for saying that" Buffy said pointedly, smiling at Dawn as she pulled down a corner of the blinds to check outside.
"Yeah, way to jinx it, Dawn raid" Saff muttered, grabbing Dawn's hand and following Buffy into the main part of the RV to inform the others.
"We're under attack!" Saff shouted and Spike sprung up, ready for a fight despite his charred hand. He stood protectively next to Saff and Dawn, ready to fight for them with his un-life.
"Horsies!" Tara shouted excitedly as she watched the knights of Bizantium through the window, before Willow pulled her and Dawn under the table.
"Weapons?" Giles asked frantically.
"Hello, you're bloody driving one!" Spike shouted, pulling Saff out of the way of the wall that was now decorated with arrows.
"Don't hit the horsies!" Willow said, covering Tara's ears.
"Yeah they're innocent!" Saff agreed, frowning at Spike for suggesting it, earning her an eyeroll. Her bleeding heart didn't stop for anybody.
"We won't!" Buffy shouted, storming to the front, "Aim for the horsies" Buffy whispered to Giles as he swerved violently towards the group of men on horses. Saffron screamed as she saw another arrow fly through the wall and hauled her arms in front of Spike wildly. At this moment, Giles stared at Saffron through the rear-view mirror and then at the wingmirror his brow furrowed in shock at what she appeared to be oblivious of. His eyebrows furrowed further when he realised what had happened to her. She had an arrow straight through her hand. The RV was in chaos, Buffy had left to fight atop the van as those from inside tried their best to barricade themselves and help fight. Giles was zig-zagging down the road at a pace faster than anything he had driven at in known memory. Saffron was screaming every swear word known to man as she stared in horror at the joke-shop style arrow that was literally protruding through her fucking hand.
"Fucking hell, pet! You're not bloody immortal, I could have taken it"
"It was going for your heart you ungrateful twat!" She said through gritted teeth as she stared at the arrow that was causing her a lot of pain. She was kneeling on the floor, her knees had buckled in pain and Spike sunk to her level despite the chaos going on around them. Blood was dripping down her arm and onto her jeans as they spoke.
"Stubborn bint" Spike smiled fondly, but delicately took her hand with a look of concern, apologising and pulling the arrow out quickly before ripping off a strip of his shirt and pressing it hard against the hole in her hand. The curses coming from her mouth would have made even the toughest person whimper in shock as she screamed at her hand in disbelief. Spike gave her instructions through her screams, needing to go and help the slayer and ensure she stayed safe with Dawn.
Saffron hid under the table with Dawn as instructed, trying to protect her while the others fought to keep the knights of Bizantium at bay. Buffy continued to fight on top of the RV as Anya hit the knights that crashed through the window with her frying pan. Just when they thought they were in the clear, Giles was hit with a spear through the windshield, causing further panic as the RV came crashing onto its side.
xoxoxo
They had walked for around twenty minutes before they managed to find an abandoned building. Despite her wound, Saffron was more concerned for Spike who was sizzling under the blanket as they walked. Xander and Buffy carried Giles' weight and Spike helped them haul him flat on a counter when they were finally out of the sun. Buffy was starting to raise her voice, unsure what the plan was. Saff tried to help her calm down but she was too in her head for Saff to help. Willow tended to Giles as Xander spotted the crusade out of the window. They barricaded themselves in but it wasn't enough until Willow managed a protection spell that should protect them for about half a day. They had taken the general hostage and the others discussed what was best to do with him.
It was later in the evening and the cool air from outside swirled through the abandoned gas station as there was little protection from the elements. They had decided they would have to ask if Ben would come and tend to Giles. The knights had agreed they could let a medic in, and they were all anxiously waiting for him to arrive. Saff was alone in the back room, she had heard Xander and Spike speaking lowly in the next room, Spike had been side-tracked on his way back to check on his love. They didn't seem to be arguing, in fact Saffron could feel understanding towards each other which made her have hope the pair could eventually get along. She was trying to light up a cigarette but her hand was killing her. She was bleeding through the makeshift tourniquet, but she didn't want to complain when Giles was in so much pain. She sighed angrily as she tried to light up with her left hand that wasn't hurt but couldn't get the flame to ignite.
"Here" a male voice offered, taking the lighter and holding it to her cigarette.
"You ever get that Déjà vu feeling?"
"That one of those badly dubbed kung fu movies we used to watch together?"
"You know what I'm talking about Xander" She said through a lungful of smoke.
"That we've been here before? I know, maybe you are the typical bad-guy after all"
"If you believed that, you wouldn't be here…" She trailed off, feeling his emotions but not quite understanding where she stood with him.
"Maybe, but you did hurt me, Saff. When I told you I loved you like a sister, I don't know, it kinda meant something…"
"Xander, I didn't mean any of what I said, I don't even remember half of it" She admitted, the shame on her face was clear as day.
"That makes it better" Xander replied, sarcasm dripping from his mouth. The was a pause where Saffron smoked through her cigarette and stubbed it out on the counter behind them. She looked at Xander who was in deep thought. He missed her, she could tell. She took another cigarette out of her pack, trying again to light it up without success. She winced and shook her hand in pain as Xander lit up for her again. She turned to him as she leant in and said quickly, "I do love you Xander, you're the best surrogate big brother a girl could wish for… I lashed out because-"
"Because you knew it would hurt me" Xander shrugged, a hand going through his hair as he continued, "Because you thought that you were protecting us. I know. If you hadn't been such a dick about it, I might have understood…"
"I'm a proper dick for not explaining myself at the time, no arguments there. Uh, but, getting drunk… it was… it was easier than having to talk about it…"
"I can't say I understand that SP-"
"I know, you're forever the open book, Xand"
"-but just, stay off the drink… for you, nobody else" He finished as he pulled her into a tight hug, still shaking his head at her.
"Thanks" She whispered, willing the stinging in the back of her eyes to stop or she would get a reputation as someone who cried in public. Who was she kidding? That was her calling card.
"Think the old man wants to talk to you, pet" Spike interrupted from the doorway, holding back an eyeroll at the boy putting his paws all over his girl. He had been watching the exchange, Xander and him seemed to have come to a truce of sorts despite their squabble over the best way to continue their strategy to save Dawn and the world. He was glad Saffron and the whelp had spoken, she liked him for some reason Spike had never understood.
"You think he'll be easier on me on account of the blood loss?" Saff asked Xander and he replied by giving her a look. Yeah, not very likely, she decided as she flicked the cigarette butt to the ground and walked into the main room.
When she entered, Giles was talking in a hushed whisper to Buffy. She felt as if she was intruding so she hung back in the shadows. When Buffy turned to leave, she was surprised to see Saffron there but gave her a watery smile as she walked past her to check on the others. Saffron walked uncertainly towards Giles, she could feel his pain and she was shocked he was still conscious, it was enough to almost knock her to the ground.
"Uh, Spike said you wanted to speak with me…"
"If this is our last moment…" Giles started, taking Saffron's hand in his from his position on the counter.
"Don't say that, G. Ben's already on his way" She said, squeezing his hand, feeling yet another wave of tears.
"If it is, I want you to know that I forgive you, Saffron and I hope that someday, even if that is not today, you can forgive me. I never gave up on you, I was, ah, hard on you because you needed to see for yourself. You needed to live up to your potential" She stared at him, he was being honest. She knew that much.
"That worked out great didn't it?" she smiled, no ill-will was felt towards the man. She understood. All she wanted was his approval, and he seemed to be giving it to her now, before it was too late.
"You have power and emotional strength beyond your years, beyond that which you can even fathom. I know, ah, you have a believer in Spike but you must believe in yourself" He managed to rasp, wincing in pain at the words he willed himself to speak. She didn't appear convinced to Giles, so he turned to her seriously, explaining about the number of knights she managed to get rid of in one scream earlier in the day before the RV crashed. The knights had held their heads, distracted by the pain and unable to carry on the chase, leaving only three left following them. The emotional trigger seemed to be anger and those that she cared about were at the heart of that, "I'm proud of you, Saffron" Giles finished as he closed his eyes slowly. Saffron's eyes welled with tears as she leaned into his ear and whispered something quietly. She held his hand and willed that he could no longer feel pain, instead replacing it with comfort – as much as she could muster.
Ben came and Saffron was ushered out of the way. She stared at him from the corner where Spike leaned against her. She trailed her fingers through his hair with the hand that wasn't damaged. She was staring at Ben, a light frown on her features as she realised she had never felt any emotions from him. She had only ever guessed what he was feeling. Weird.
However, she was distracted from this strange revelation by a thought. Several puzzle pieces fitting perfectly in place. She was making the connections.
'Tertium genus: The chosen. The key. The sight.'
'There is a choice to make. You must protect her, the link to the olde world…'
'When the blood is drawn there will be no room to mourn. Instead you must follow the light…'
'The gift. A choice of many. Let there be light where once there was not any. As in any sacred sacrifice, the sight's protective hand must guide the path. What is done must be done for the good of the last…'
It was all starting to make sense. She was meant to protect Dawn. Buffy must choose. Dawn needed to be saved from Glory at all costs. Why did it feel she was missing something important? The final piece was yet to reveal the full picture.
xoxoxo
Ben was still treating Giles, who seemed to be improving much to everyone's relief. Saff and Spike walked into the makeshift interrogation room whispering quietly about possible plans to get out of there before turning their attention to Buffy and the General, who had been tied up in the middle of the room.
"Yes. The key has been transformed, given... breath, life. Yet, this makes no difference. The key is the link. The link must be severed. Such is the will of God"
"She doesn't remember anything about being this key you're all looking for. The only thing that she remembers is growing up with a mother, and sisters that love her. What kind of God would demand her life for something that she has no control over? We are not your enemy. Tell your men to stand down!"
"No" the man replied, unmoved by Buffy's impassioned speech.
"It is not her fault! She's human now!"
"The key is too dangerous to be allowed to exist. No matter what form it has been pressed into" He spat the word pressed and that was when Saffron snapped. She ran up to the man and landed a punch on his jaw as hard as she could manage. The man just stared down at her, as if she had barely touched him as she shook her hand. But she could tell it had hurt him, he was just too proud to show it. She took another shot, her frustration and anger manifesting in punch after punch until even Spike saw she needed to be pulled away. Buffy had just watched from the corner, letting her punch her frustrations out onto their hostage. Saff let herself be pulled away by Spike, it had hurt her knuckles and she wasn't too proud to openly tend to another hand injury. Spike tended to her hand and let Buffy continue, but she was interrupted yet again just as she got started. There was a commotion coming from the other room. Tara was chanting again, about it being time. Buffy ran in to see if she could help. Saffron could feel it but she couldn't go into the room, it would knock her out. She could barely stand now. Tara's emotions were all over the place and they were painful.
"You're getting good at that, love" Spike said gesturing towards the angry bruise that was forming on the side of the man's jaw. She tried to turn her full attention to Spike rather than the pain.
"Learnt from the best" She shrugged as he smirked proudly, "…Buffy" She added as his face dropped. She left a chaste kiss on his lips, assuring him that she wasn't serious. She was trying to put on a brave face, humour was her armour in times like this. He knew this.
He took her less damaged hand, leading her to an empty room, away from the commander's eye and further away from Tara's shouts. He stroked her cheeks softly before cupping his hands against her cheeks, guiding her to look at him.
"You saved me, love. Arrow through the heart would have done me in and you didn't even think about it. God knows how you managed it with your human reaction time at such a bloody glacial pace"
"I'm an empath. We're protectors, it's what we do" She winked before explaining further, "I would have done it again, for you. Even if I did get a hole in my hand for the trouble. I love you and I wouldn't want to have to vacuum you up now would I?"
"The 'I love you' would have done just as fine"He smiled at the way she expressed herself.
"You know I like to create a rich visual tapestry to distract from the hell of revealing my true authentic feelings, babe" She did an overdramatic eyeroll and a sigh
"Well then, I love you too Honeysuckle" He replied, pulling her into him. She wrapped her arms around him, wishing they could be back in his crypt with all the time in the world to hold each other.
"While I'm speaking my mind… I'm proud of you, you know that?" She asked when they reluctantly moved from their hug, still standing as close as possible.
"What for?"
"You've been here, helping out where you can. It must be torture smelling all the blood, you haven't said anything about it once…"
Spike looked embarrassed at her praise, rubbing the back of his neck and shrugging at her words. The pair could be hopeless with expressing their feelings sometimes, onlookers (mainly Dawn) often wanted to bash their heads together to get them to talk properly. That was when Spike noticed how pale Saff was, how much fresh blood was now running down her arm. He went to get Ben, not caring at all for Giles' health when his girl was evidently about to die any second. Ben explained that when the arrow was pulled out it meant the blood wasn't able to clot around the wound and she had stopped putting pressure on it. He gave her some light pain medication and worked on her quickly, using his medical equipment as she cursed wildly making him flinch with every other word. He also checked her bruised knuckles over.
When Ben left the couple finally, Saffron thanked him and made sure to ask him exactly how he was feeling before he left. Spike had to ask because it was bugging him how much attention she had been giving him despite the huge pain in her hand,"Why do you suddenly care enough to ask about Dr Attractive's feelings?"
"I can't-I can't feel anything from him" She tried to breathe evenly, having her hand treated had reminded her just how much pain she was in.
"What and that doesn't start ringing the mystical alarm bells?" Spike tapped her head with two fingers, "You're bloody terrible at this higher power, True sight bag aren't you love?" He said as she pulled a face at him, she knew he was messing with her. He thought she was amazing at handling what was thrown at her. She thought about this. She would know if he had bad intentions. Wouldn't she?
"Something's going on" She said, her thoughts moving to Dawn and Buffy and everything that had been happening.
"You're telling me! He's a bloody threat that's what he is!" Spike shouted, about to run off and apparently tackle their medic to the ground. Saff put her hand on his arm softly so as not to upset her hand to bring his attention back to her. She could still feel a hint of jealousy from him from the attention she had given the medic and put his reaction purely down to that.
"No! He's helping, you just watched him patch me up! I meant something's going on with the three. There's this electricity, like lightning whenever I'm in the room with Buffy and Dawn. Whatever it is, it's happening soon" She explained, distracting him with the information she hadn't had chance to fill him in on yet.
"We'll get through this" He said assuredly, noting her worried tone. He believed it, he had to. He pulled her into another close embrace, holding her to him. She leaned in close, closing her eyes, savouring this brief respite from what was going on around them.
"How do I know I can do it? That I'm good enough?" She said eventually, moving back but not allowing herself to move from his side.
"I know you are, love" He said firmly. She looked unconvinced, worried about what was to come. It was as if she knew what was going to happen, it was on the tip of her tongue but she just couldn't put the words in the right order.
"But how do I know that I'm good enough for any of this?"
"It takes something to be bad..." he smirked, "Besides, love, Honeysuckle's nontoxic" He whispered, shrugging as if it was obvious. She started to chuckle softly, before all out laughing at his statement. Spike couldn't help but catch her laughter, it was contagious. They couldn't stop laughing despite their situation. Everything she had told herself was based on the idea she was poison. A poisoned Honeysuckle, infecting all those she touched and even that was wrong. It wasn't as funny as the pair found it, but the relief from the laughter they shared was addictive. She really wasn't poison.
Their smiles started to fade as they heard something in the other room. They could both sense trouble. They ran in just in time to see Ben turn into Glory. Maybe Spike should have tackled him to the ground while he had chance. Their smiles weren't even a ghost on their faces as both stared open-mouthed in horror. She took Dawn and left the others distraught as she punched a hole in the barrier and left with her key.