Late June

Time was going by fast for Christian, almost too fast he sometimes wondered. By the end of May, his book, A Story About Love had been published for all of the world to read, and the world loved it. There wasn't a person on the street who didn't pass Christian without giving him a complimant on his work. Wherever he went, he was known and celebrated. He was becoming increasingly wealthier from the success of his book and was able to take some time off from his column writing to relax and spend time with Loreena. At this point, they had become the very best of friends and many around them rumored them to be romantically involved, although that wasn't the case. Christian cared for Loreena, but not in the same sense that he had cared for Satine.

One thing that Loreena had figured out quite soon enough about Christian was that he didn't like to talk about Satine, except for maybe, if it pertained to his book. There was a part of him that she wanted so badly to know so much better, but his unwillingness to let his last love go was making that highly difficult. There was another thing Loreena was realizing as well. This was that she was falling in love with Christian.

She knew that in a million years he could never return those same feelings, so she kept her mouth shut, and tried to ignore the feeling. Yet, she swore there were so many times when he've had to known how she felt. There were so many times when she slipped either by trying to hold his hand, or with occasional flirting. It was hard for Loreena to play the part of someone who was just supposed to be a good friend, not of someone who was falling deeply in love. Loreena would catch herself every now and again, starring at Christian, watching the way his hair fell in front of his face, or how he'd periodically scratch the back of his neck while he was in thought. She liked his smile as well, and the wayhe made her feel safe and secure.

One partly cloudy day, Christian had taken Loreena up to a hill that overlooked the town of Montmarte. Upon arriving Loreena exclaimed, "Oh Christian, it's absolutly breathtaking. How did you know about a place like this?"

He took a second to pause, and replied, " I used to come up here with Satine a few times." His eyes had a washed look to them. Almost like the sky before a storm. Loreena was trying to get closer to him. She inched her way towards him, almost so close that she could smell his aftershave. Christian didn't seem to pay attention. Loreena was about to place a hand on his when he broke out in spasmed coughing.

"Christian! Are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, I just...cough...I've just had this cough for awhile. Probably pneumonia or bronchitis or something. Nothing to worry about." He was gasping and breaking out in a small sweat.

"Here, take a sip." Loreena offered him some water. He drank slowly letting his gaze wander up to that of Loreena's. She looked away.

"Are you alright now?"

"Yeah I think so, thanks."

Loreena sat back down atop the spread sheet and began to hum. Christian knew what she was humming and sat down next to her once again and beginning to sing. It was the first time in forever that he had felt like doing so. Actually, he hadn't sung since Satine's death. Caught by surprise, Loreena looked over at Christian.

"You can sing? I didn't know."

He shrugged nonchalantly, and smiled at her."I used to sing when Satine was alive."

"You shouldn't have stopped. It's a wonderful talent, you sing beautifully."

"Satine thought so too. Her and I used to sing all the time when we were together. I swear her voice was like that of an angel's. Completly hypnotic without imperfection."

A twing of jealousy stabbed at Loreena. She had always wanted to be there for Christian, to listen to him, to be his friend. She had even encouraged him to be more open about Satine, but when he finally started to, she just felt horrible and slightly mad inside. Loreena began to look for distractions to get his mind off of Satine.

"Hey I know! Let's play a game. You know, like one of those games you see the schoolyard children play."

Christian was looking slightly amused and confused all at once, but he had stopped talking about Satine. "Er ok then, what did you have in mind?"

Loreena giggled and ran out of sight. "Close you eyes and come find me after 30 seconds! No peeking!"

Christian obeyed and rose to start looking for Loreena. She had ran into the set of woods nearby.

"Lora! Lora! Little Lora the Flora, come out!" That had been a nickname he had given her one day, and even though she wasn't a fan of it, as long as he was the only one calling her that, she didn't mind.

Loreena giggled behind a tree and Christian heard it loud and clear. Heading in that direction, Loreena popped out and ran past him.

"Hey com'on thats cheating!"

Loreena ran ahead and stuck her tongue out at him.

"Oh! Now you're just getting silly!" This was becoming alot like one of the dreams that Christian had had with Satine, the one where he was chasing after her through some woods. Loreena even had a white dress on and her hair was flying behind her like Satine's had.

Loreena was only a few inches ahead of him and ran into a small meadow surrounded by trees. She stopped, seeing what Christian would do next. Her eyes were on fire, hair falling down each side of her shoulders. Loreena was breathing hard and waiting for just the right moment. "Ha Ha!." Christian mockingly chuckled, "You're trapped!" She was watching him as he too was panting, his shirt loosly open. His hair was a mess again, and his eyes had a playful look to them. She could tell he felt the anxious tension too.

With a bolt of energy, Loreena tried to run past Christian, but he was faster and stronger, and easily caught her before she could get away. "Ahhh!" she yelped playfully. He had her in his arms and carefully pushed her to the ground where he started to tickle her. She tried once again to get away, but he was straddling her with his weight, preventing her from getting away. "Christian stop it!" She was in hysterics. He stopped and looked down at her. Her hair was tossed in every direction, leaves tangeling inbetween strands. When things seemed to calm down a bit, Loreena once again struggled away from Christian, but he shifted more weight upon her and forced her arms down. He was smiling down at her and she was trying to keep from laughing. He leaned down closer to her face and whispered, "Got you." Loreena just smiled. She was waiting for him to get off her and let go, but the distance between their faces had remained the same. They were both still breathing pretty heavily with their eyes catching in eachother's glances. One of Christian's hands swapped the hair away from her face, and the other, still holding one of her arms down, loosened it's grip, and went instead, to hold the hand of that arm. Loreena, in a moment of spontinuity, urched her head upward into a sensual kiss that surprised even Christian himself. Her soft, warm lips pulsated against his, and he gave into the rapture of her desire. They stopped to take the moment in, and Christian lunged into Loreena.

Their kisses became more heated with exploding passion, and Christian found himself becoming quickly aroused. With his free hand, he placed it at her theigh under her skirt, his feverish kisses moving down her neck. She began to arch her back, and Christian let go of her hand to start unbuttoning her shirt. His own body wanted to take her right there, to let it become part of hers. He was fully swelled and ready to give her what she wanted, but something was holding him back. A sick feeling, unlike anything he had ever felt before had come over him. Clutching his stomach, Christian got off of Loreena, who was now showing signs of confusion. She reached for his face, but he stopped it and threw her hand away.

"Christian, I'm sorry...I shouldn't have done that...please...I..." Christian was still holding his stomach as if he were about to throw up, his face becoming pale. Loreena once again tried to advance towards him, this time more cautiously. He sat there, completly in silent shock, unaware of Loreena next to him. She was kissing the side of his face, but he paid no attention. Warping back into reality, Christian sat up with a jolt and shoved Loreena aside.

"Christian! What's wrong? Is it me?" Chrisitian's face was turning red.

"No."

"Than what is it? Can't you tell me?"

"DAMNIT SHUTUP!" Christian screamed. He was realizing now how much it had hurt to physically get involved with Loreena. He hadn't made love with anyone since Satine died, and it wasn't that he couldn't make love again, it was just he couldn't with someone other than Satine. His mouth was burning, and he was becoming more nausiated than he could handle. He couldn't believe what had almost taken place, how he had almost had sex with Loreena. Feeling a bit of sympathy for her, he came back over to help cover her up.

"Loreena, I'm sorry."

She looked away trying to hide the tears that were starting to weep from her eyes. She knew this was hopeless. He had to knownow how she felt about him, and she couldn't stand to look at him and pretend as if nothing happened. But sheshe could tryto lie anyway.

"Christian, I understand...I do. I'm sorry for not understanding sooner."

"Loreena, you...you don't like me, do you? I mean, I'm sorry for hurting you this way. I didn't know you felt that way about me. It's just I can't.."

"Christian, I said I understand...and I don't love you. I just got caught in the moment. I shouldn't have let it get that far." Loreena looked over at Christian, secretly hoping that his face showed a sign of dissapointment. But instead, all she saw was a look of relief.

"Then, you're not offended are you?"

With all the strength left in her she muttered a "No." and fakely smiled. This was killing her inside. She wanted Christian in every way possible, but he was just being so stubburn. He still had so much to let go before he could feel anything more for anyone, especially her.

"Loreena, I'm sorry."

"Christian..." but she stopped and walked away. Christian melted to the leaf covered ground beneath him, letting his head fall to it. He ached all over, and he couldn't breath, his cough starting up once again. He pounded a fist onto the ground, hoping somewhere, someone could feel his anguish.