Chapter 42:

The ground was wet with dew, the grass a plush green. The only thing with any life in the area. It was so quiet, as if the surroundings were dead to the world. Until, that is, a crunch rang out from below the soil. About six-feet under, to be precise. A hand broke the soft earth, fine powder-like sprinkles landed on her face as she tried to remember how to breathe. The dirt was suffocating, but she persisted. Her other hand broke through, giving anyone that might have been around a glimpse of her black painted fingernails, now chipped from scratching through the wood. But nobody alive was around here. Except her now, of course. She managed to hoist herself up and out of the ground.

She stumbled across the graveyard, tripping over her legs as she got used to putting one foot in front of the other. She made it out of the graveyard, her legs working on autopilot as she navigated her way through the town. She waded through the fresh air, each intake of breath a strange phenomenon as she tried to blink her eyes into focus. The environment around her, although familiar, was a wreckage of what it had been. Fires had been set and many buildings had been broken into but nobody was around. It was a ghost town, her being the only visible ghost in the area.

She tripped and fell, landing on top of a body. She tried to scream, but her voice wasn't used to making noises. She peeled herself from the hard body and looked at the face. Her sight was blurry but she could tell it was her own. Her grey eyes were staring back at her unblinking. She got up quickly, realising Buffy was lying next to her. She moved to Buffy, trying to check a pulse. But there wasn't one. She also realised neither of them had arms or legs. Sparks appeared to be flying from them both. Weird. She frowned, how could she have missed that? She was disturbed by this. She obviously wasn't safe. She carried on walking to a place she knew she could feel safe in.

The scene before her didn't feel real, she felt as if she was walking through a dream. The only trouble was, she didn't know if it was a dream or a nightmare.

She made it to the Magic Box, but it was in a sorry state. She squinted, the glass of the front had been shattered. Typical, she thought. The tarot corner would be a mess. The lights were off and nobody was in. It reminded her of many meetings and researching the big bad of the day, how many books had she poured over? How many big bads had she helped stop? She walked on, not feeling safe in the centre of town.

She took a sharp turn, following the side street she had taken many times, walking slowly past Nell's diner. A place she had frequented so often she should have her own revolving door. It wasn't open, must have been the first time in years the 24-hour diner was closed. So much had happened there. It was where she had spoken to Spike for the first time. Felt that connection. How much coffee had she gone through? How many smokes? She didn't know what to make of what she was seeing, it was like torture almost, the places she had once held dear now empty and broken.

She cut through a graveyard, shivering as she thought about where she had woken up from. She saw a figure moving in the shadows, but she didn't stop to chat she just carried on through to her destination. How many times had she tried to fight a vampire here? Taught by Buffy. Or Spike. Trying with the group to make up for Buffy's absences.

Why had she been brought back now? Was she being punished? The painful memories and the hollow reality.

xoxoxo

She arrived at Revello Drive. Home, she breathed. She grabbed for the door handle and pushed it down, but it came away in her hands. She stared at it for a while. Not home. She looked from the door to the handle in her hand and dropped it. She shoved the door and it broke away from the frame easily. She stepped over it and looked around. It looked so real, a sob almost choked her as she could smell the familiar smell of her house. She walked from room to room but it was empty. No one was around. She was alone again, but in a different scene. She made her way slowly down the steps to her room, still getting used to walking. Her legs were shaky. The room was how she had left it, although her bed wasn't made as it usually would have been. Someone's been in it. Recently. She frowned but made her way to lie flat on her back on top of the bed, boots and all.

"Why am I back here?" She said out loud, "Is this hell? Have I finally made it out?" She rubbed her eyes, crossed her hands over her chest so each hand was holding the opposite shoulder. She closed her eyes tight and waited. She opened one eye and looked around. She sighed, tears welling up in her eyes that she had to blink away, "Is it because I fucked it up? The prophecies, the sight, everything" She choked out. She felt horrible. The guilt was all-consuming as she waited for something or someone to set her alight or something she imagined would happen in hell. She waited in that position for a long time, almost willing something to happen. But nothing did. She was alone with her guilt.

After lying there for what felt like another eternity, she heard something. Hope. Or footsteps having to step over the front door that was now in pieces. She almost jumped out of bed, but her joints were stiff from all the lying down she'd been doing. She went as fast as she could to the door, trying to squash the hope from her heart as she heard voices she recognised.

"Dawny! Buffy!" She screamed, it came out croaky but it was definitely her voice. She ran and launched herself at the pair. She eventually let them go after complaints of hugging too tight, even by Buffy. Dawn turned to see her cousin. She grinned and left Buffy's side to go and launch herself at Saff once again. The pair hugged and cried for a long time as Buffy stared through them. Saff walked to Buffy and hugged her again as well and she went through the motions of returning the hug, "We're back" Saff whispered. It was for herself as well, confirming that this was real. Not another burning landscape of hell to wade through.

Dawn excitedly spoke to her cousin, reaching into her pocket to pass her the tarot cards the younger brunette hadn't been without since her death. Saff looked at them and then at Dawn's face, shaking her head. She explained to Dawn that she deserved them, they were hers now. Her mum had passed them to her and so she was passing them to Dawn. She still had another pack that Willow had bought her two years ago anyway she explained hurriedly when she felt that Dawn was concerned she wasn't going to be like she was before she had died.

She was pulled to the living room and sat down, hearing all about the ritual and what happened with Buffy. Dawn was an animated storyteller and both newly-alive girls were struggling to keep up. The only difference is that Saff was happy to hear it. To have to catch up. Buffy wasn't. Saff had noticed this, sneaking side-glances at her cousin to check on her. The dying had been rough, but they were back. Why did she look like she wanted to dig herself a hole and get back in?

xoxoxo

Saffron had just stepped out of the shower. The steaming water had never felt so good. To feel again, to let the water wash away her fear from the past few months. She didn't think, she just focused on living. She enjoyed the flush of her skin because of the hot water, the noise of the water hitting the shower floor. The grime from her body streamed down the plughole, her hair back to its usual colour. She couldn't help smiling at the feeling. She was alive. She had changed into her usual clothing, jeans and a t-shirt. Her combat boots back on her feet as she started to brush her wet hair. She descended the stairs, fastening her large silver hoops into her ear, hearing chatter from below. She turned into the living room, face to face with her life again. It felt like a movie, the picture was so clear.

"Saff?" Willow said, her eyes wide. Tara, Xander and Anya turned to face her.

"Hi" She beamed at the room, giving them a wave. They all rushed up to her and took it in turns to hug her tight. She seemed in a better mood than Buffy about the whole being alive again thing.

"Uh, what happened to the door?" Tara asked her, gesturing towards the door-shaped hole that they had all just entered through.

"Think Xander's been replacing our furniture with that cheap shit again" Saff shrugged as Xander started to protest.

"That was the best wood $40 could buy!" He said as Saff raised an eyebrow the way she always would, "right, I'll get on it" Xander confirmed, off to find some sturdier wood from somewhere. He ran back to hug Saff again before getting on with his job.

"So, how is it? Being back?" Willow asked, hoping for more than Buffy gave her.

"New" Saff said, honestly. She was still getting used to it, but she couldn't deny she was pleased. Ecstatic even. "It was you wasn't it?"

"Well, everyone was involved" Willow said modestly and Saff pulled her into a bone-crushing hug, not hearing Willow's complaint as she squeezed tighter.

"Thanks, I think you saved me" She whispered and pulled away. She looked confused as Willow hugged her side, wincing. She didn't have time to ask, because she heard Spike and Xander squabbling as Spike stepped over the threshold past Xander who was trying to salvage the door. Spike sauntered in, ignoring the others and looking for Dawn. But he came face to face with the one person he couldn't have even dreamt it to be. His eyes widened and he stared in awe. A small gasp from his mouth. Could it be?

"Is it you?" He asked quietly, not daring to hope. He couldn't take his eyes off her as she nodded. They stared at each other from across the room. Neither daring to move, in case the image in front of them would disappear at any sudden movement.

"Ok, the door handle was definitely not cheap! How in Zeus' name did that come off-" Xander walked in complaining, holding the handle up as evidence before stopping dead, "Am I, uh, interrupting?" Xander asked looking between the pair who hadn't stopped staring at each other wordlessly.

"Yeah you are" Spike snapped.

"The door handle came away in my hand, I wouldn't call it the height of strength" She explained lightly, never looking away from Spike's face as the others looked at her with frowns. But they all left to help Xander to give the pair privacy. He took her hand in his, his eyes almost watering in disbelief as he guided her to sit opposite him.

"Your hands…"

"I, uh, had more than one fight with a pile of splinters tonight" She smiled. He nodded, knowing exactly what she had to do. He left to get some supplies to tend to her wounds. On his way past he realised that the door was not weak as Saffron had insisted. The others, except Buffy, were taking it in turns to karate chop pieces of wood, with no success. Spike quickly returned to sit opposite Saff, not wanting to leave her side for long in case she vanished again. He started to clear the scraped and bloody knuckles that she had barely realised she had. She had been too focused on the feeling of the water on her skin. She noticed Spike looked up every so often, checking it was still her, "How long was I dead for?" she asked finally.

"148 days yesterday, uh, 149 today. Except today doesn't count does it?" Spike stopped cleaning, looking into her eyes. He held her hands in his, "How long was it for you? Where you were?"

"The longest" She shrugged, "I missed you so fucking much" She whispered as he moved to continue to tend to her hands. He nodded, looking back at her hands. Her hands.

"It's been a nightmare without you, and not the good kind" He murmured, concentrating on her hands. He finally finished, looking back up at her to find her cheeks were tear stained. He frowned, tenderly soothing her by rubbing his hand up her arm, "Love, you're back. What is it? Was it hell?"

"It's happy tears" she answered truthfully, "I-I never thought I'd get to be here, like this again" She said softly, gesturing with her head to his soft touch. He could feel it now, the way she was feeling. She was letting him. He nodded his understanding, but never let himself move from holding her arm in some way.

A loud bang ricocheted around the room and Saff jumped, squeezing Spike's hand tightly. She tried to scream, but no sound came from her mouth. She was glad, she would have been embarrassed if they had heard her screaming over what appeared to just be Xander moving flat wood to make a makeshift door until he could get them a proper one. She wasn't used to loud noises. Xander sent an apologetic glance to everyone before carrying on boarding the door for them for the night.

"Ow, bloody hell!" He muttered, peeling her fingers away and loosening her grip from his hand slightly. He winced, shaking his hand and checking for broken bones before returning his hand to hers. He couldn't face a lack of contact. Not even now. She said sorry, moving the back of his hand up to her lips and leaving a light kiss there. He closed his eyes. He never thought he'd feel her soft lips again. Even if she was kissing his hand better after almost crushing it beyond repair. He looked at her, then. Really looked at her, a frown set on his face. He was in deep thought. When Saff looked back up to him, his expression made her grin back at him.

"Did your mother ever tell you that when the wind changed your face would stick like that?" Saff asked, teasing him lightly. Something he had once said to her, a lifetime ago. She remembered it all so clearly, as did he. But the memories had been too painful to think about willingly for so long that it took him off guard, his frown still set on his face as he searched her smiling face.

"Honeysuckle, have you got something you might want to be telling me? About the death?"

"I, uh, don't think so. Nothing special, you've been dead, you know the drill" She shrugged, not knowing what he was getting at.

"Do you feel any… different?"

"Kind of hungry, I guess" She said slowly, a frown matching his now. She was confused, she still wasn't convinced she was finally back. He sighed, using his whole body as he moved his hand from hers and stepped back a pace.

"Take a shot" He challenged her, beckoning her with his hands.

"Spike, I'm all weak and reborn! My hands are in shreds" She gestured to the newly bandaged knuckles he had just carefully applied for her.

"That, wasn't weak" He gestured at the door and giving her a look, "And I wager you can handle it, if I'm right"

"Right about what? Spike I'm tired, the hole in the ground wasn't exactly the five-star holiday destination I was expecting"

"You've been lying there for months, how much more sodding sleep do you need? You're pretty enough already" He shrugged. Good save. He beckoned her towards him again with both hands, willing her to take the challenge.

"Hold your hand out. I can't punch you for real!" She said, nervously. He was staring that stare again. She was using all her strength to stop her legs turning to jelly. She told herself it was the newly alive thing, but she definitely only felt it when his gaze was directed her way. God, I've missed that look. She sighed and took a swing at his waiting hand. He caught it, but not without a struggle.

"I bloody well knew it!" Spike exclaimed, taking the attention of the rest of the group who were now filing back into the room. Saff shook her hand, the pain wasn't so bad but it felt strange.

"What's this?"

"She's got super strength! Big fuck-off slayer's strength!" He beamed, "You can hang up your stake" he added to Buffy.

"That would actually explain the door"

"Yeah, none of us can even make a dent in the wood"

"Not even with your strong, masculine hands Xand?" Saff teased.

"You're really strong. This must mean something, Saff. Maybe there's another Chosen one?"

"I can't be-I don't want to-" Saff tripped over her words as they all looked at her expectantly. She didn't know how to explain but let out a big sigh. She was so sick of everything being thrown at her.

"It's okay to be scared" Willow said softly.

"I'm not-" Saff started, but she was cut off. By Buffy.

"She's irritated... and kinda hungry"

"That's… exactly how I'm feeling" Saff looked at Buffy, her eyebrows furrowed in thought. The others moved the conversation along, clearly in the mood to celebrate. They were so excited about the girls being back they forgot about the strength and Buffy's outburst. She gestured to Buffy to come with her. She wasn't taking no as an answer and Buffy reluctantly followed her.

xoxoxo

They were in the kitchen, Saff had shoved some grated cheese into her mouth as she grabbed them both a bottle of water, chucking one at Buffy. Buffy caught it without a problem. Her reflexes aren't dead then. Saff checked the back of the cupboard and a smile curled onto her lips. She brandished a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from behind the tins and walked out of the kitchen door, with a reluctant Buffy in tow. Saffron lit up her cigarette, it all seemed so real. Her lungs were breathing in the smoke as if they had never stopped. She closed her eyes, reveling in the feeling of being alive. The night was cold, but it didn't phase either of them. Their bodies had been in colder, darker conditions. Saff finally turned to her older cousin, smiling slightly as Buffy looked as if she was trying to hold her breath so she wasn't breathing in the stale smoke.

"Are you… can you feel it?" Saff asked, not sure where to start.

"The connection? Yuh huh" Buffy said quietly, not looking at her cousin. She instead stared into the night.

"Scary, isn't it?"

"You're not scared, Saff" Buffy replied. Buffy noticed she could now tell what Saffron was feeling. With scary accuracy.

"I know. I'm worried about you, though"

"I know"

"So what are we thinking? Basic power transfer? Can you tell when I'm lying?" Saff asked, thinking about what could have possibly happened. Trust the powers to get them confused when they got brought back, she joked.

"Try me" Buffy said, almost a smile on her face as she spoke. Saff thought for a moment, flicking some ash to the ground as she tried to access memories that seemed to be from another lifetime. She finally remembered something she knew Buffy wouldn't know.

"When I first came to Sunnydale I used to steal Dawn's pocket money to put in the slot machines at the arcade. True or false?" Saffron asked, staring at Buffy and feeling some confusion from the Slayer as she tried to gauge what her cousin had just asked.

"It's um, it's… I have no clue" Buffy gave up, trying to guess by Saff's facial expression, "How am I supposed to know?"

"It's this feeling, when someone's being honest... you just know. Hard to describe, it's like a big bell that goes off inside your head saying something's a lie" Saffron said slowly. She figured that the pair had transferred only a small amount of each of their powers.

"So I'm feeling what other people feel, thanks to you, and you're stronger thanks to me" Buffy said aloud, echoing her thought.

"Yep, upside is we won't have to give each other birthday or Christmas presents ever again"

"We should figure out why it's happened, maybe read up on-"

"It won't be in any books, Buff. I messed up, that's why. It wasn't supposed to happen like this"

"You didn't mess up"

"You saw the-"

"You didn't" Buffy said, the most convincing thing she had said since being alive again. She meant it too. Saff pretended she didn't, but she blamed herself for a lot of things she didn't need to. Buffy hugged her younger cousin, holding her head trying to comfort her they way she had so many times for her.

As Saff and Buffy moved from their hug, both their eyes filling with water, they heard the kitchen door open and close and a familiar bleach blonde figure slipped out. Buffy decided they needed time alone and backed away slightly. Spike had quickly closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around her from behind, resting his cheek against the side of her head, inhaling that familiar lavender scent. He sighed, the happiest he had felt in a long time. He never wanted to let her go, and she hoped he wouldn't. She moved her fingers behind her, to his lips, offering the cigarette. He inhaled as she held the filter, still not moving from their embrace. Buffy was at the door now, about to give them much needed privacy, but a thought popped into her head.

"Which was it?" She asked, one foot in the door.

"Huh?" Saff asked, turning her head slightly as Spike did the same.

"True or false?"

"Oh, 100% true. But I've made it up to her a million times over with all that ice cream she eats" Saff smiled, taking the cigarette back from Spike again and inhaling herself. Spike looked confused but smiled once she started to explain. His arms wrapped around her tighter and they stayed like that, staring into the night and holding onto each other for as long as Saff could stand the cold. They never wanted to be apart again.

A/N: I couldn't leave you with no Saffron (and Spike being so sad, poor Spike) so there you go! Two chapters in one day, don't say I don't spoil you! Did you guess Buffy and Saff would give each other some of their powers? Stay tuned for more xoxo