Disclaimer: Don't look at the flash, dude.

Like Father, Like Son

or

His Father's Son

Gendo's face was impassive when the Section Two agents trooped in and snapped to attention in front of his desk.

"What is it?" Gendo demanded.

"We've located your son, sir," the lead agent reported.

"Where?" The boy was needed for the scenario to proceed.

"Hashima maximum security prison," the agent replied.

"What?" Gendo's eyebrows shot up. "Why?"

In response one of the other agents placed a thick file on their boss' desk.

"Seems he got his start when he acquired a failing maid service," the lead agent began. "Turned it into a maid escort service and sold it for enough to buy a night club."

"How old was he when this happened?" Gendo asked sharply. A spark of fatherly pride bloomed in his cold black heart.

"Seven, sir."

"I see." Gendo ruthlessly fought down the grin that threatened to split his face. "What else?"

"Crowning achievement is that he somehow managed to spark a gang war between the Triads and the Brazilians last year. Yamaguchi Gumi swept in and took out the survivors after six months of fighting. Indications are that your boy was playing both sides against each other, supplying weapons and information to keep the war from dying down until the Yaks were ready to take control. Speculation is that the Yaks paid the boy to arrange things."

"Get him," Gendo ordered softly, the corner of his mouth twitching up. "Dismissed."

As the door shut, the agents heard a muffled but jubilant 'that's m'boy' from the Commander's office.

IIIIIIIIII

After the second impact, the world had turned to shit for a time and the government, desperate to regain some measure of control, had gone on a building spree. Dozens of new prisons had been built in the remotest parts of the Japanese home islands.

Worst and most secure was one located on an island near Nagasaki. Formerly the location of a coal mine and the most densely packed city on the planet, the town had died when the seam had run out and the whole place had been abandoned to the elements for decades until the government had decided its remoteness made it ideal for what they had in mind.

Hashima maximum security prison, better known by it's nickname battleship row, was where the Japanese government warehoused the men it couldn't keep anywhere else. Located fifteen kilometers from the nearest human habitation. It was a place where men were sent to be forgotten, it was considered escape proof. It wasn't.

The two section two agents ignored the convicts blowing kisses at them as the walked to the deepest and most secure part of the prison to pick up humanity's last hope. What they found was a nervous looking man with bleach blond hair and a scar running across the bridge of his nose.

Who are you?" one of the agents demanded, glaring at the large blond man.

"Shinji Ikari," the man replied nervously.

"Guard!" the agent shouted.

"What is it?" the guard asked.

"This is not Shinji Ikari," the agent growled.

The guard glanced at the man. "You're right. Guess the little bastard escaped again," the guard said with a shrug. "He does that sometimes."

"You don't seem too concerned to find him missing," the left agent pointed out.

"He doesn't cause trouble for the guards," the guard captain explained. "In fact, buddy of mine's kid needed a new kidney. Shinji found out about it and a compatible one was delivered to the hospital the next day." No one had asked about the kidney's previous owner. "I'm fairly sure he only allows himself to be brought here when he needs a bit of time to relax. Wait a couple weeks and he'll turn up again."

"We don't have a couple weeks," the agent growled.

"Then I hope you have very good underworld contacts cause there's no way you're going to find him unless he lets you," the guard captain finished.

IIIIIIIIII

Gendo's face was impassive as the two Agents on his computer screen explained the problems they were having with their task of locating his progeny.

"I did not send you down there to think of excuses, I sent you down to find or pilot." The man's jaw clenched.

"Understood, sir."

Gendo cut the connection only a fraction of a second before the first tear escaped his eye.

"If I'd known being a father was this rewarding." Gendo stopped to wipe away a tear. "That your child's triumphs were your own . . . the years I've lost."

Omake: Sometimes it's best not to ask

Comes to school leading Rei with a leash and collar

The students stared in shock when the newest member of their class came in with a leash in his hand and the other side of it clipped to a studded collar around class' resident ice maiden's neck.

The sight of Rei Ayanami with a leather collar around her neck being led to class by a leash held by their newest transfer student made her aware that the day was definitely going to be one of those times.

Hikari sighed in frustration when she entered the classroom to find her classmates pressed up against the window staring at something in the courtyard rather than at their desks studying.

With a huff, she pushed her way through the crowd to see what had them in such a dither and to determine if it was something she needed to deal with in her professional capacity.

The sight of their newest transfer student clutching a leather leash clipped to a studded collar around the neck of their resident ice queen, Rei Ayanami, left her speechless and wishing she'd stayed home.

Matters worsened when the teacher arrived, took one look at the scene below and told them that the first period's lessons were canceled in favor of study time under the supervision of their class rep. He compounded matters by delegating the task of finding out exactly what was going on made things worse by stating thoughtfully that she was ready for the further responsibility of dealing with all similar situations in the future.

It wasn't often Hikari regretted the fact that she'd been chosen to be the class representative. The day hadn't even started and it had already made her seriously consider handing in her resignation and going home early.

It took nearly twenty minutes for the class rep to must up enough courage to address the situation that had been dumped into her lap. Mindful of her classmate's stares, she approached the blue haired girl and asked the question that was on everyone's minds.

"Well?" Hikari prompted, hoping desperately that she wouldn't have to ask such an embarrassing question ever again.

"The situation is easy to explain," Rei replied.

"It is?" Hikari asked doubtfully, ruthlessly crushing any hope before it had a chance to form.

"Yes," Rei agreed. "It is."

"Explain it, please," Hikari asked, fearing the answer she was about to be given.

"I am Pilot Ikari's bitch," Rei explained, in a satisfied tone that contained more emotion than anyone had heard from her before. "As such, it is entirely appropriate for me to wear a collar and be led around."

"Well . . ." Hikari felt faint. "I guess that does explain things then." The girl quickly decided that the best way to deal with the situation was to ignore it and hope someone else resolved it, deciding for once in her life that the teachers could just go to hell. "Better get to your desk, class is about to start."

Omake: Retirement

"Wark!" Penpen's eyes bulged when he saw who was in his kitchen.

"I thought you'd retired," the boy said coldly. A knife appeared in Shinji's hands. "Have they sent you to kill me?"

"Wark wark wark?"

"What, no. I live here now," Shinji replied.

"Wark, wark."

"Oh . . . odd coincidence," Shinji said thoughtfully, the knife disappeared. "So . . . how's retirement treating you?"

"Wark, wark wark wark."

"If I have any work, it'll go to you," Shinji agreed. "Why don't I put you on retainer till I get some?"

Omake: Nothing Personal

"You don't have to talk," Shinji agreed calmly. "Your friend didn't want to talk and I didn't do anything to him. I don't take it personally when people try to kill me."

"Wark!"

"I'm afraid he does take it personally though," Shinji sighed. "It's something we've agreed to disagree about."

The surviving assassin watched in shocked horror as the penguin plucked out and ate his still living partner's left eye.

"I'll talk!" the man squealed.

"I thought you might," Shinji replied. "Why don't we start with who sent you?"

It took nearly twenty minutes for the man to tell all he knew and another ten of questing for Shinji to come to the conclusion that his prisoner had outlived his usefulness.

"Penpen."

"Wark?"

"Do what you do best."

"Wark?"

"I said I wouldn't kill him, I never said anything about you."

"Wark," Penpen agreed, pleased that his human partner had some sense in him.

AN: Another idea that's been on my HD for several years.

Beta for all of the above by dogbertcarroll