Cassandra, later
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It´s been eight years since Mom died. For eight long years I have missed her every day, but especially today. I stand in front of the mirror, staring at my reflection and nervously smoothing my hand over the white dress I am wearing.
"You look beautiful." Sam tells me softly and hugs me carefully from behind.
I meet her eyes through the mirror and can only nod because I am too nervous to speak, but I think too that I look beautiful. She knows I´m nervous, and hugs me a little tighter and nods her head, answering my unasked question. Yes, this is the right thing to do. I sigh, and she smiles.
Mom would have agreed. This is the right thing to do. I never doubted my decision, never. But it´s still good to hear Sam saying the words. After all, this is the most important day of my life.
I am getting married today.
My long hair is gathered up, several diamond pins keeping the strands in order. The simple white dress I am wearing is the same mom would have used if she would have married Daniel. She never had the chance, though. But we saved the dress, maybe just for this day who knows, and I am glad we did. The dress is beautiful, and even though mom never used it, it gives me a chance to have something of her close today.
I glance at the ring in my finger and the smile creeps on my lips, like always happens when I´m thinking of Steven.
We have been together for four years. And it was Daniel who introduced us in a first place, and we owe him everything for that. I guess you can say it was love at first sight. He´s an air force major, working at the SGC, and he loves what he does with all his heart. My heart however, aches with worry every time he steps through the gate, but I could never ask him to quit.
Jack, of course, wasn´t all too happy when he found out that I was dating one of his boys, like he likes to call them. But then again, Sophie, his daughter, is only six years old and he´s practically frowning already at the boys in her class. She´s already a heartbreaker, and when she gets older, I´m pretty sure Jack will lock her into her room and keep her there until she´s...well, he´s probably keeping her there forever.
He´s protective over those he loves. And we all roll our eyes, frown and even whine a little, but secretly we love that he cares about us, loves us that much.
A soft knock coming from the door make me turn away from the mirror and look at Sam as she walks open it. Steven is not allowed to see me yet.
"Can we see Cassie now?"
Before I can answer, two little girls run in past their mother and to me.
"Wow, Cassie, you look really pretty." Sophie smiles and carefully touches my dress.
I lean down to kiss the top of her head, just because I love her so much. I was there when she was born, well, not in the very room, but I was standing in the hallway with Daniel and Teal´c.
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"You think it´s gonna last much longer?" I ask, looking first at Daniel and then Teal´c.
"Somebody waiting for you?" Daniel asks.
"Someone did." I smile sweetly, and I can see him narrowing his eyes. It´s fun to tease him, because he really thinks there is no man who is good enough for me in this planet, or any other. "But this is more important."
He looks like he´s going to say something more when the doors open and the tired looking doctor steps out.
"Is everything ok?" Daniel jumps up from his seat.
"Everything´s just fine." The doctor assures and looks back towards the room he had just walked out. "You can go in, but only for a little while."
It helps when you are in the hospital with a bunch of military guys. It gives some privileges. Well, guys who look like military because Daniel and Teal´c are both civilian and an alien in military clothes. So we walk inside the room, and I stop by the door, because the tears are so close to fall and I really don´t want them to see me crying over this.
Jack is sitting on the edge of the bed, his arm protectively over Sam´s shoulders, and she leans against him, looking exhausted but happy.
"Hey." Sam says as she looks up from the baby who lies in her arms.
"Hey." Daniel´s voice is soft as he walks closer and reaches to kiss her cheek before touching Jack´s shoulder. "She´s beautiful." He leans down to look at the baby girl.
Sam tilts her head to see me better and her eyes are asking why I am standing still be the door. "Come on, Cassie." She says softly. "Come to see your goddaughter."
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That was then. This is now.
I sit in front of the mirror now, Sophie sitting next to me, her little sister, Gracie, on my lap.
"Sweetie." Sam sighs as she sees Grace in my lap. "Cassie´s dress will be wrinkled."
"It´s okay." I say and tighten my hold to the little girl and press a soft kiss on her curly hair.
"Where´s your father?" Sam asks and I can´t hold my grin back.
"He´s with Mattie, and grandpa and uncle George." Sophie tells her and then looks at me through the mirror. "When you have your baby, will you still love us?"
I wrap my other arm around her and hug her against my side. "Of course, I always will." I promise her.
"When are you going to have a baby?" Gracie tilts her head backwards to look up to me.
I smile, then look Sam who stands behind me. She knows the answer. "In about seven months." I tell the girls. "But it´s still a secret, you can´t tell anyone."
And both girls nods, and Sam smiles as she reaches to take Gracie from me and lifts her to stand in one of the chairs. The dark curly hair had escaped to frame her small face and Sam pulls the strands back with the pins. Then she kisses her daughter´s face until she´s giggling.
"Sophie." She lifts Gracie down and turns to look at her other daughter. "Can you and Gracie go and see grandpa and tell daddy to come here with uncle Danny?"
Sophie nods and jumps of her seat. She takes her little sister´s hand and leaves the room to search for their father. Gracie turns back by the door and waves at me. I wave back smiling.
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We sit in the kitchen, Sam and I, and listen the rain drumming against the windows, and delighted giggles coming from the living room where Steven plays with the four-year-old Sophie. I lean back in my chair to see what´s going on, but can only hear Steven roaring like a lion and Sophie laughing.
Sam runs her hand over her swollen belly and sighs tiredly. I turn my eyes to her, but she smiles at my worried look.
"I´m just a little tired." She admits.
Jack knew she would be. Even Sophie is a sweet child, she´s still four, and wants her mother´s attention. That´s why Steven and I are here today, like we have been here for the last five days now while Jack´s away in the mission with the SG-1.
"You should get some rest." I suggest softly.
"You don´t mind..." She nods toward the living room and I shook my head.
"She´s my goddaughter. I would love to spend a day with her...again."
Im sure she knows Jack swore us to keep an eye on her. She´s due any day now, and Jack should be back in time, but he still worries. And besides, we are more than glad to help.
"Thanks, Cassie." She says and pushes herself up. The teacup she´s holding comes crashing on the table and she cries out as the contraction hits her long and hard, and doubles with pain.
"Sam." I jump up and knock the chair back.
"God." She whispers and grabs my arm.
"Steven." I call, my voice slightly panicked because it´s Sam who is in so much pain.
Steven is already there, the call of his name barely gone from my lips when he takes control of the situation, and softly, but firmly asks me to take Sophie and get the car ready. And with but one look at Sam he knows she is no condition to walk and he wraps his arms around her and lifts her easily in his arms.
Daniel was already awaiting us at the base where we were told to come when I called him. Everything happened so fast when the medical team took over the situation and wheeled her away that I soon found myself standing in the hallway with Steven and confused Sophie.
I am worried, and after a quick hug and soft words of assurance, Steven takes Sophie and they disappear behind the corner. God, what would I do without that man?
I see Daniel and Teal´c walking to me and I try to read their faces to see if something´s wrong. "Jack´s gonna miss this." I say and Daniel wraps his arm around my shoulder and I lean against him for a support.
We don´t have to wait long when the doctor comes out and grins. "She must be the fastest little girl I´ve delivered."
"Can we see them?" I ask and the doctor nods.
"I´ll go and find Steven and Soph." Daniel says and leaves me with Teal´c.
We step inside the infirmary, the room that is so familiar for me for so many different reasons. How many times I have found Steven lying there, wounded, bleeding or unconscious? Both Jack and Daniel had been there so many times that the nurses had finally stopped sighing and frowning and learned to ignore the two whining patients. And of course, my mother had worked there for years.
Sam is lying in one of the beds, holding a little girl in her arms. She smiles as she sees us. "Where´s Sophie?" She asks quietly.
"DanielJackson went to find her." Teal´c says and leans to see the baby better. "She is beautiful."
"Indeed." I say and Teal´c looks at me amused. I grew up with these guys, what else did you expect from me?
"And Jack?"
"Im sure they sent the message." I take my eyes off the child and look at her. "You ok?"
She nods, and without her saying the words I know she´s fine. And as soon as Jack and Sophie are here, she´ll be great.
"This is Grace." She tells us, looking down at her baby. And to our questioning looks she ads. "Because I once had a dream. Grace Patricia."
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I barely hear the knock coming from the door but I hear his voice as he compliments Sam.
"Dad." I say, the word leaving my lips so naturally. And Daniel Jackson gives me a smile that I have rarely seen after my mother died years ago. He stops to look at me, and for the first time that day, I feel the hot tears in the back of my eyes. God how I wish mom would be here to share this day with us.
Sam slips from the room to give us some privacy. I turn to grab a Kleenex and tap my eyes carefully. "You look beautiful." I hear him saying and I glance up to him again.
"Thanks dad." I say, calling him 'dad' second time in a short time. I have called him dad before, not often, but sometimes. Most of the time he´s Daniel or even Danny, but he has always been my dad. Like Janet has always been my mom.
"Is it the time?" I ask, and feel the hundreds of butterflies in my stomach and I sank down back to my chair. I can´t do this. I´m too nervous.
He chuckles quietly, and if I wouldn´t be so damn nervous, I would glare at him. But he simply takes a seat next to me and takes my hand. And he tells me some stories about my mom, the ones I have not heard before, and I don´t even notice the tears that falls down on my cheeks before he gives me another Kleenex.
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I think he has never fallen in love again. I think he loved my mother too much to feel the same for anyone else. But he´s not a lonely grumpy man, he´s pretty much the same Daniel he has always been.
He goes out with the women he likes, but it goes no further. Sarah is there, but only as a friend. They have gone out a few times, but there´s nothing more. First I was worried, then sad, and now I have accepted that he is happy like this.
I have often found him sitting in mom´s grave, talking to her, and sometimes I wonder if he knows more that the rest of us does, because he can stare into the nothingness for the longest time, smiling, and those times, I can´t see the sorrow and sadness in his dark eyes.
Years ago, when it had been only a short time since mom had died, I heard him talking to someone in his office. And first I thought he was talking to the phone, but he wasn´t. I should have not listen, I know I should have walked away, but something in his voice made me hide into the shadows and listen.
It was like a desperate plead when he said 'don´t go' but I didn´t understand the meaning of it. And I still don´t. But he does. And for some reason, that has helped me too.
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"She´s here with you today." He promises as I dry my eyes. And I believe him, after all, he knows these stuff.
"Cassie, it´s time." Sam says from the door and when I look at her, I see she too had been crying.
I nod and stand up, and running my hand over the silky dress I glance to the mirror, and I see mom standing behind me, smiling, and I turn to look at Daniel who smiles at me and then to my mother. I wish I could go and hug her, tell her that I love her and I miss her, but I can´t. And I understand that. I take Daniel´s hand and squeeze it and he squeezes back.
Sam opens the door and Sophie and Gracie are smiling at me, holding small baskets filled with rose pedals. I smile at them in return and glance behind me where mom still stands.
Sam gives me a quick hug, kisses me on the cheek before following her daughters down to the aisle. And as the music starts, Daniel offers me his arm and we start the slow walk toward the altar where Steven stands with his best men. I have to concentrate to my breathing, and without Daniel, my legs would have probably given up long time ago.
Jack is sitting in the first row, holding a ten-month old Matthew in his arms and he gives me a smile that assures me once again that this is right thing to do. I know that, I just might have forgotten it while trying to remember how to breathe. Sam takes her seat next to her husband and ushers her little girls to sit next to her. Jack reaches to take his wife´s hand and she turns to look at him for a short moment before they look back to me.
I smile, and then turn my attention to the man who is waiting for me in the altar. Steven takes a few steps forward to meet me and his eyes are so filled with love that I feel the tears in my eyes again.
And with the people we love the most in the world around us, Steven and I take a leap of faith. We vow to love and honour to each other until death does us part.
The End
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Thank you for reading. And thank you all for your kind reviews.. I was afraid no one liked this angsty story..but you are the best. -Lia