Title: Feeling Better
Disclaimer: I suck at updating epic plots so I could never have the dedication it takes to create an entire anime/manga series.
Rating: G ( K ) – If you ignore the (potential) innuendo in the summary, that is.
Spoilers: The sugary-sweetness might spoil your appetite. Oh, and if you're not familiar with the Mangaverse Arrancar Arc, I might be giving a little bit away.

Summary: OneShot. "But if you show me where it hurts, I'll kiss it and make it better." IshiHime. (Mangaverse, set during Arrancar.)

I have a scene similar to this coming up in a Dragonball Z story, actually...well, sorta.

The soft hairs prickling on the back of his neck were telling him that someone was watching him. Waiting for opportunity to strike, surveying his every move, focused on him as if he were a specimen under a microscope...Yes, watching. Watching him very closely. He couldn't feel any prominent reiraku aside from the signatures accounted for by his classmates, didn't even feel the weak spiritual pressure of a wandering spirit, nullifying the idea that some sort of other-worldly force could be behind the stalking. So who could it be? Who would want to watch a powerless, socially inept Quincy so innocently walking down the hall, minding his own – ?

"Ishida-kun!"

The bespectacled Quincy nearly jumped out of his skin when a familiar cheery voice broke the tension he had been building within his own mind. He looked up from where his eyes were concentrated on his feet, pulse beating an awkward tempo within his chest. "I-Inoue-san...you startled me."

"Sorry," she smiled sheepishly, lowering her head with regret. The crowds of eager-to-leave students swarming the hall moved around them, creating a pocket of space just for their conversation to take place in. "I didn't mean to. Were you thinking about something, Ishida-kun?"

"Aa...something like that," he replied as his heartbeat began to slow. With Orihime in his immediate vicinity, however, it still fluttered wildly to an uneven beat. "Can I help you, Inoue-san?"

She blinked for a second before rapping herself in the forehead. "Oh! Right, I almost forgot...I wanted to know if you wanted to go out with me this afternoon."

Ishida's heart completely skipped one of its beats.

"O-out?" he gulped down the lump in his throat. "As...as in...?"

"A date!" the buxom girl chirped with a little bounce.

"D-date...?"

Orihime leaned up on her tip-toes to gain a better vantage of her taller classmate, mouth twisted in a frown of concern. "Are you alright, Ishida-kun? You've gone all pale!"

"I'm f-fine, Inoue-san..."

The bright grin was back on her face in an instant as she leaned back, throwing her arms excitedly in the air. "Then let's go!"

Before the boy could protest, his fairy-wielding classmate had slipped her hand into his, clinging firmly, and proceeded to drag him along behind her. Due to the very real possibility that the Tatsuki-trained fighter could pull his arm out of its socket, Ishida felt that it would have been rather stupid to resist.

He would just have to join her on this little "date" of hers, he decided with a hidden smile of satisfaction.

— — —

'Wow! That had been easier than I thought. I wasn't sure if he'd agree to a 'date' with anyone other than Kuchiki-san...Not even if it were for practice!' Orihime internally cheered, glancing over her shoulder at the kidnaped Ishida trailing along behind her. 'Now that Kuchiki-san is back in the real world, Ishida-kun has another chance! He looks a little queasy, though...'

The befuddled Quincy's lips were twisted into some sort of odd little grimace, almost as if he had swallowed something nasty. Maybe he swallowed a bug...? Oh dear! Then he really would get sick; those flu bugs, especially, could be horrible.

Orihime clenched Ishida's hand instinctively as the horrifying concept evolved into a sick, twisted plot of devastation. 'This is horrible! What happens if he kisses Kuchiki-san and she swallows the bug too? She could take it back to Soul Society and give it to her brother, who would give it to Renji-kun and then he would give it to Kira-san and all the other vice-captains! Or would Renji-kun's Zabimaru eat the bug instead...? Monkeys like bugs, don't they...? Ee! What if the bug turns people in to monkeys?'

Somehow, the idea of Abarai Renji passing on the "bug" in a heterosexual manner didn't cross her mind at all. Miles away, as he was put to work sweeping Urahara's store-front, a red-headed freeloader shivered in response to a chill that had climbed its way up his spinal column.

'I should put Ishida-kun to bed straightaway! If he kisses Kuchiki-san and gives her the bug the whole universe might be in jeopardy!' Orihime decided, feeling a little relief deep in her chest at the knowledge that the catastrophe of a romantic encounter between the Quincy and senior Shinigami could be avoided (all in the name of preventing a multi-dimensional outbreak of Simian Fever, of course). ( 1 )

"Ah...Inoue-san...?"

"Eh?" the buxom schoolgirl looked over her shoulder at the insistent tugging on her arm. Ishida was still stumbling along behind her, stepping awkwardly due to their difference in height.

"Where are we going? I don't think there are any good places for...erm, dates around here."

With a quick survey of the surrounding area – filled with dilapidated buildings, shifty-looking punks, and works of graffiti art on random pieces of public property – Orihime granted easily that her companion was probably right.

"Oops!" she laughed, coming to a sudden halt in the middle of the cracked, chipping sidewalk.

As an object in motion will remain in motion until acted upon by an outside force ( 2 ), Ishida's excess momentum sent him crashing into Orihime from behind, sending them both on a fast descent to the rough pavement.

— — —

Looping an arm around a squealing Orihime's waist, Ishida pulled her back against his chest and twisted so that he would be the one to take the brunt of the collision himself. This split-second decision was completely reflexive, much as it had been in Soul Society when facing Kamatachi Jidanbo, so there was little time to regret before contact with the ground.

"Oof!" was the sound of oxygen forcefully expelled from his chest as the Quincy suffered impact. The extra weight of his Soul Society comrade landed atop him as anticipated and he counted himself grateful that she, at least, would come out of this accident unscathed.

"Ishida-kun!" she cried, rearranging herself on top of the prone boy's torso to better look at him. Ishida found enough breath to groan as her weight shifted to a position that ground one of his kidney's into the sidewalk. "Ishida-kun! I'm so sorry for being such a klutz! Speak to me!"

"Ung..n'mkidney..."

The flower princess leaned forward, flattening her body against his, in order to hear him better. "What did you say, Ishida-kun?"

"You're...," he turned his head to cough. "...on my kidney..."

Looking down at the place her knee came in contact with her bespectacled friends side, Orihime blushed and removed it quickly. "Sorry!"

"'S...aight...," the boy gasped as both relief and air filled his lungs.

Orihime removed herself completely from the prone boy on the sidewalk, but stayed close to his side. "I'm so sorry!" she cried, bowing as low as she could to Ishida, who was slowly venturing to sit up. "I'm such a klutz!"

"Don't worry about it, Inoue-san," the dark-headed boy placated, removing the hand nursing his bruised ribs to rest it on her shoulder. "It wasn't your fault. I should have stopped myself."

"But if I hadn't stopped so suddenly, you wouldn't have – "

Ishida, for lack of better way to cease her babbling apology, placed three fingers to her lips to silence her. She lifted her head enough to meekly peer up at him through the coppery fringe hanging down over her eyes. "It was an accident, Inoue-san. You don't need to apologize."

"But – "

"Please," he pressed more insistently on her lips to prevent more words from slipping out. "Don't apologize."

He could feel her biting down on her lip underneath his fingers, but her mouth remained closed. Orihime downcast her eyes in defeat and the fallen Quincy removed the barrier that prevented her from talking, withdrawing the hand back toward himself.

Before it was fully removed from her personal space, the sharply-curved schoolgirl reached out to snatch it back. "Oh! You're hurt!" she cried, pulling the hand back to her face to observe the innocuous injury better.

The dark-headed Quincy blushed and attempted to pull the hand out of her grasp, assuring her quickly, "It's nothing, Inoue-san. Just a scrape."

"But it could get infected!" she insisted, firmly dragging the injured appendage back again. "Let me heal it."

With a sharp jerk, Ishida managed to free his hand from the well-meaning healer. "No! That's really unnecessary, Inoue-san."

"It'll only take a second! It won't even sting," the fairy-wielding Hollow hunter promised, lunging at her male companion in an attempt to seize his hand back. Ishida leaned away from her and held his scraped palm well out of her range, tucking it safely behind his back where she wouldn't have any chance of reaching it.

"You shouldn't call your fairies because of this. It's such an insignificant wound that you would just be wasting your energy. With Aizen Sousuke and the Arrancar still...," his speech, which had begun on an assertive, no-nonsense note, trailed away as Ishida was reminded that he would be of little to no help in this fight. Swallowing the sour tone he knew was rising like bile into his mouth, he finished his argument quickly, "So there's no need to call upon your fairies for a scratch like this, Inoue-san."

Ishida turned his face so that his eyes were hidden behind the glare on his lenses, shielding his emotions with a stony mask of severity. In a moment, after he reformed his full composure, he would suggest walking Orihime home. Their "date" wouldn't have worked out under the best of circumstances, he was sure, and being so woefully pathetic without his powers would just decrease their chances of –

The young sewing prodigy's heart seized in his chest as a gentle hand reached out, softly coaxing his injured appendage out of hiding and into the light by the elbow. "I won't use my fairies, then," Orihime promised, out of his line of sight. "But if you show me where it hurts, I'll kiss it and make it better."

She had a talent for making offers that he just couldn't refuse, Ishida admitted, relaxing his muscles and throwing resistance out the window. He uncurled the fingers tightly drawn into his palm and brought his lightly damaged flesh into full view.

The female Hollow slayer accepted his gesture of goodwill with a smile that made him quiver inside. She licked her lips, causing them to stand out with a bit of extra shine, and Ishida gulped in anticipation. Orihime's brand of "healing" wouldn't be considered romantic by any stretch of the imagination – he could recall his mother and even his grandfather performing a similar ritual when he had been a clumsy youngster – but he looked forward to the brief contact between her lips and his skin all the same. After all, how many chances for that would he get...

"Yes, I think a kiss is exactly what this needs," she proclaimed, cheerfully squeezing his fingers together. "Close your eyes."

Why should he close his eyes for a little peck on the palm? You weren't supposed to close your eyes unless someone kissed you someplace significant, right? Or...was she not going to kiss his hand? Another jolt of excitement passed through the socially inept sewing expert's body at the thought. Where was she going to kiss him, then...?

Maybe...maybe there?

Orihime licked her lips again as she waited, her expression hinged on anticipation.

Oh, yes, definitely on the lips.

With a small gulp and a deep breath, Ishida closed his eyes and tilted his head ever-so-slightly. Even sitting they were a significant distance apart in height and, as a gentleman, he should make the lady as comfortable and at ease as possible in such...intimate circumstances.

Besides, forcing her to climb into his lap to make up the height difference was a far cry from appropriate (and a bit too much to hope for).

With his eyes closed, the young Quincy was forced to rely on his other senses to decipher the world surrounding him. At such a proximity to his beautiful classmate, his ears took up most of the slack for his hindered sight. Ishida could hear her moving around, a rustle of fabric, and the distinct sound of a zipper being undone – what was she doing? – all the while still holding onto his hand by the wrist. As another soft touch and insignificant weight brushed his open palm, Orihime called out to him again, "Open your eyes."

Startled and beyond disappointed, Ishida opened his eyes to find a...piece of silver-bound chocolate in his hand.

"It's a 'kiss'!" the curvy flower girl chirped, releasing his wrist. "They're popular in America, I hear. Kojima-kun brought some back from his last vacation there and shared them with some of the class. Don't tell him I told you, though, because he doesn't have anymore!" she held a finger up to her lips to emphasize the secrecy of her revelation.

"Ah...thank you, Inoue-san."

Orihime's face fell. "You don't like it, Ishida-kun? Or are you allergic to chocolate...? Ah! I should have asked first, I'm so sorry!"

"I'm not allergic to chocolate, Inoue-san," Ishida assured her, reaching out with his good hand to place it on her shoulder again. "And I like it very much."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Good...chocolate always makes me feel better when I'm not feeling good, so I thought maybe it would work for you too," the amply endowed schoolgirl explained. "And they say that kisses make things heal faster...do you have to eat it first or can you just hold it?"

"I don't think...," the Quincy tailor stopped himself as she tilted her head at him curiously. He couldn't bring himself to burst her bubble when she seemed so proud of herself. "I think it works just by holding it, Inoue-san."

"Maybe, but I'd rather eat it! With a little bit of butter and wasabi, of course."

"Aa...of course. I think I'll save this for later, though," he said, stowing the minuscule treat in his uniform pocket. With a hard shove against the ground and a small flinch, Ishida pushed himself up and onto his feet before offering a hand to his companion. "I think we should get going now, Inoue-san. It's almost dinner time."

Orihime accepted his hand and allowed him to pull her up as she voiced her thoughts aloud, "Hm...you're right again, Ishida-kun. I guess all the restaurants would be pretty full by now, wouldn't they...?"

"I suppose so. We could always do this another – "

"I know!" she interrupted, clapping her hands together enthusiastically. "I'll make you dinner instead! I've got a craving for chocolate and wasabi now...Oh! But you're sick, aren't you? Maybe I should make it into a soup...Then I could add leek!"

"Sick?"

"Yes! With Simian Fever! If you don't get it treated right away, you'll turn into a monkey..."

"Ah...I somehow doubt that, Inoue-san."

When he finally got home late that night, a not-quite-so-full stomach of mismatched flavorings roiling in his stomach, Ishida removed his first kiss from his pocket and put it in his sewing box for safe keeping. Years later, when the chocolate crumbled into dust, he kept only the wrapper in its place. His wife never told him it was silly to hang onto their old memory like that, only gave him a universally-acknowledged kiss in its place.

Footnotes:

( 1 ) Simian Fever (more commonly known as "Simian Hemorrhagic Fever," or SHF) IS a real disease. Naturally, though, it isn't at all like what Orihime thinks it is. Instead of turning people into monkeys, it bears similarities to Ebola and Marburg, which both cause devastating hemorrhaging (bleeding) from most of the body's external orifices. Incubation period is short, mortality rate high, death gruesome, but at least you won't feel it (early on, as the disease ravages your body, your nerve endings will be pretty much severed).

The good news...?

I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico.

No, seriously, only monkeys can catch SHF and actually die from it. An outbreak similar to SHF (also known as "Ebola Reston") broke out in Reston, VA, in the nineties in a research lab there and there wasn't a single human casualty amongst the staff. You shouldn't worry about Ebola or Marburg, either; there has never been a human outbreak of Ebola (which was named for an AFRICAN river) in the US and only one or two major outbreaks of Marburg (named for the German town it was discovered in) in Europe since discovery.

For more information on these Hemorrhagic Viruses (also known as "thread' or "filoviruses"), check them out on the CDC (Center for Disease Control) website and/or read The Hot Zone, by Richard Preston. Be warned, though: the latter can be rather graphic.

( 2 ) "An object in motion will remain motion until acted upon by an outside force," or Newton's first law of motion. Basically, you won't stop till you crash into something/something crashes into you.

Damn...what's with all this science stuff? I'm not even good at science!

—

Authors Note: Geeze...I put such random things in my footnotes...feel free to skip them all you want, but I can put some interesting little factoids in my footnotes section sometimes.

I was originally going to have a joke ending featuring the chocolate kiss and then another, more satisfying ending with a real kiss, but I kinda like it the way it is now...besides, he got the girl in the very end anyway, right?

—

.:ObscureAnimeWriter:.

– Every nerd has his day. With Inoue Orihime, Ishida Uryuu will have an entire afterlife.