Chapter 58:

It was finally the big day. Will, Buffy and Saff were stood in front of a large mirror in hideous green dresses. They were dressed for Anya and Xander's wedding and were getting ready in one of the side rooms.

A classical piece of music started playing that Saffron now could tell was probably Bach, based on her unfortunate experience with Oleander.

Saffron squinted, blinking. But it wouldn't go. She turned to one of the others to ask if they could hear it too but then she saw him through the mirror's reflection. He was stood behind her on the other side of the room. He was in her mind, he wasn't really there. Nobody else acknowledged him anyway.

"I just can't get you out of my mind, kitten… tell me, do you feel the same?" He asked tauntingly, but she could tell he was almost apprehensive looking her in the eye after how intimately she had been inside his head last time. It had been easier to inhabit her head. It nearly made her feel bad for him. He stunk of bad intentions as he plastered and almost friendly look on his face, as if he had read from a book what a pleasant facial expression should look like.

"Boo hoo, you didn't have many friends. Newsflash, mate, neither did I growing up it doesn't excuse wanting to fuck the entire world!" She shouted as she turned to face him. This was true, and Oleander knew it, Saffron hadn't been able to keep many friends for long before she lost them again before Sunnydale. People had the tendency to use her for her caring nature, which is what helped mould her current 'too-cool', threatening approach to others.

"Aw, well, I have some limits… not all of us will become anyone's for the price of a tequila shot, darling" He cackled.

"Original, real funny too" She rolled her eyes but he could feel the mixture of anger and embarrassment at his words.

"Come on, why the sad face? Tell me we're not cut from the same cloth. Tell me you haven't wanted the world to burn in a screaming fire of anger and grief? We could still make that happen… we'd have to take your eyes, but I could always bring you back later…" She just shook her head, she wouldn't entertain it, "They deserve to pay. All the injustice, the horrible torment they all inflict. Murder, rape, genocide, war. Shouldn't they, I don't know, at least see themselves for what they are?"

"Great motive, still evil" And still hypocritical. Destroy the world to what end? Knock it down so you can build it back up in your own murderous image? Nothing changes that way.

"We are the same you and I, you're just… a late bloomer" In a few years, she would be wise to the world around her. She will want them to pay as I do. Shame she can't just hop back onto my side now.

"We are fucking nothing alike you creep!" she shouted, cutting him off before he could reply, "You were right, I care about the world – the people in it. Believing that I'm fighting for the right thing is only half of it, you have to care. You have to know that your motivation isn't selfish, fucking twisted even, when you go to bed at night" He rolled his eyes at the whole love-the-world-lets-live-as-one-schtick. Great motivation, still naïve and bordering on tragic, darling.

"Okay. I'm tragic. Whatever. Well, maybe I am a little naïve… And I know that I'm an addict, I know that I lie too easily and I know that I make bad choices. But it doesn't take away from the fact that… that I do believe there is hope for everyone. There isn't one human not worth saving. Maybe… maybe even myself" She frowned wondering why she would tell him something that she would never say to anyone else before looking back at him, "You feel them too, everyone we come across, they're so complex, you can't just select a few emotions and pretend we don't feel everything"

"Self-awareness? Is-is this personal growth? I'm like a proud mama hen" He clapped, pretending to wipe away invisible tears. She could feel the hatred he had suppressed bubbling back to the surface as he realised they were becoming more and more equally matched. She would never 'join him' and much less stand by and take whatever he was throwing.

"Their basic emotion, what it all comes down to. What drives them, what keeps them warm at night is hatred. It's greed and anger that is when they thrive. I merely give them the light to shine on their ugly nature"

"You're like a fucking broken record, man!" she shouted, unable to understand how he was so set in his ways. She tried, a feeble attempt to crack through his exterior, find some common ground, cling to that one note of doubt she had ever felt from him, "Think about it. You feel guilt too… You feel doubt and uncertainty. Because you had happy moments at home, with your parents. I see those too. The rope swing and, uh, that one year for Christmas – that doll you never went anywhere without… what was his name? uh-"

"Gregory" They said together. But this didn't help the way she had hoped. Rather than getting through to him she felt that he thought he were Adam or Eve being spoken to by the serpent.

"This isn't some big Biblical war that we're waging! We are not Gods or monsters! These are lives, hundreds, maybe thousands of complex lives that you want to piss away over a shit childhood!" She shouted, fuelling the fire around them. Whipping up a tornado that they were in the eye of, "You think because you like classical music and speak the way you do that nobody can see where you come from – that it makes you better than everyone else because you've 'elevated' yourself. You think I didn't notice the childhood you had? You can take the circumstances away, but some things are ingrained. My family were the same, we didn't have much but this doesn't excuse the way you live now – today"

"Ah, was that… similarity? I suppose that segues into another: you have a chance to join me, sweetheart" He smiled, trying to appear calm. His demeanour fickle. Like… a greasy fox. He was going to kill her. No matter what she replied with next. The tornado was still ripping the room apart around them, crumbling it into nothing. Until they were in a black hole.

"It's all superficial similarities. You are cruel and you enjoy it. You crave power in a way that you shouldn't. You used to feel guilty about it, until you blocked yourself from that emotion. That's unhealthy, believe me"

"You like to feel the grief then, sweets? If that's what you wanted, all you had to do was ask…" He started to influence her the way he had when they first met, she groaned, clutching her head but she managed to stop it and push it back onto him, leaving him clutching at his own head and scowling.

"Enough! Enough about me, this is about you! You learned to read people even before you learned of your power, because you had to. To survive your home life. So now, you crave the power you never had and you're drunk on it. Addicted to it. You can't live without it" she spoke clearly, her voice was strong, "This was never about the world, Oliver. It was about how you feel about yourself!"

"UC Sunnydale managed to teach psych between the infiltration from the military organisation and the freshers drama then? Colour me shocked" He quipped, but they both knew she had gotten to him. She brought up emotions he had long since blocked.

"You lost your family, I did too. You don't have to do this, it won't bring them back or change anything. Neither of us has to die" she tried again, in vain, to put an end to this. To convince him to defy the prophecy. To try to figure a way so that she wouldn't have to kill him even with the threat he posed.

"Another similarity: we both plea the other to join us. Hatred is so close to love, isn't it? Here we are, playing out on the power's own personal stage… the age-old tale of good versus bad" He smiled, eyes boring into hers.

He hadn't listened to a word she had said. He was beyond saving. It stung a little. She had never had such an entrenched sense of a loss of life while someone was still in front of her and breathing.

"I don't see you as inherently, completely bad" she offered him that at least. Her kind nature getting the better of her.

"Neither do I" He smiled cruelly. She was on the 'bad side', according to him.

He hated her, but he was drawn to her. Entranced by her, because he saw himself. Even though he didn't want to. How he could have been. A snivelling wreck. The hatred she had was intoxicating, he could play with this one for an age. She knew in that moment that there was no pleading with him.

One of them was going to die.

"Well, don't say I didn't give you a chance to end this" He smiled, clicking his fingers and there she was again in front of the full-length mirror, able to hear the others again. Looking at herself in her hideous bright green bridesmaid dress beside Willow and Buffy.

She was out of breath from everything. He had wanted him to give up her life so he could prove exactly nothing to the world. She had wanted him to give up his cause so that she could go through a year of her life without having to have death clinging to her.

"Invasion of the green nun" She muttered slowly beginning to applying mascara in the mirror and referring to how modest her outfit was, long covering her ankles and there wasn't much give in the skirt. Green heels, Anya had forced her to wear, confiscating her combat boots. Buffy was secretly pleased, the sleeves and neckline hid her bite marks. They were healing very slowly, despite the slayer healing.

"Buff, people would have understood if you didn't come" the younger of the two said quietly. It had been a few weeks and saffron had been with Buffy at every moment the pair had off, trying to support her in any way she could.

Buffy had now filled everyone in on her destructive behaviour and they had all been looking out for her in their own ways. Saffron had shut down any mention of an intervention, she didn't need to sit through another of those and she had faith in Buffy.

"Couldn't miss this" she smiled. Saff saw some of her cousin slowly coming back, less irritable and secretive. Buffy hadn't been back to the vampire house since. She would have known if she had since the regular place Buffy went had been destroyed in a mysterious fire that Saff and Spike definitely hadn't been involved in.

"It's gonna be a shitshow, isn't it?" Saff laughed.

"As long as they have each other, the reception doesn't matter" Buffy maintained, adjusting the ruffled collar to hide a bitemark on her neck.

"Never a truer word spoken, in every generation there is a chosen one, she alone has incredible one-liners and wisdom beyond her years" Buffy rolled her eyes at Saff rattling off a spoof of Giles' speech from high school. Buffy went to find Xander and Saffron told her to give him a big hug. She winked at Willow who was psyching herself up to talk to Tara and she slipped out to find Dawn before Xander's horrific drunk uncle tried to hit on a minor.

Saff and Spike were stood next to the gift table. Saff had been asked to make sure they were all left nicely and nobody took anything. For Anya, the gifts were almost the most important part of the day and Saff felt trusted when the ex-demon had asked her to watch over them. Spike was leaning his arm against the wall as Saff leant against it. He was stood in front of her, not as close as he wished he could be. She was taking her wedding job very seriously. She kept glancing at the presents and thanking people when they added to the pile. He scanned her body, gradually moving up to meet her eyes.

"You, uh, glow" Spike said, trying to stop his mouth twitching into a smile in the corners. It reminded them both of the time, before they had started dating properly, when the bounty hunter had turned her a vibrant shade of green so that he could locate her more easily.

"Again, we're not commenting on the hideousness of the dress. You can compliment my hair or makeup, but that's it" She smiled as he rolled his eyes at her, landing a kiss on her forehead.

Saff and Spike were sat in one of the rows near the back as more people started to filter in. Dawn had taken over on present-watch, after a hint (empty threat) from Spike. Even at a wedding Saff seemed to be working and now she didn't have to. It was about time the bit pulled her weight around here, he decided.

Spike dipped to whisper in her ear, an observation on one of the guests that made her laugh. This turned to a game of that man's a Gigolo. A game Spike had been introduced to through Saff and the nibblet. They took it in turns to try and get the other to laugh as they made wild stories about the people around them, getting some frowns from some of the demons with good-hearing.

Saff slipped her hand into his and he leaned, resting his head against hers. It was nice, having something to celebrate. Spike was pleased too, Saff enjoyed weddings they made her extra affectionate. He loved people knowing they were together, he couldn't help it. They were each other's.

But, as always happened, their moment together was cut short. She clutched her stomach. Her complexion tinged green. Matching her ensemble.

She got up and began stumbling to the bathroom. Spike was immediately on her tail. He knew better than to leave her when she appeared this vulnerable. He wouldn't let her get caught up in anything. Not again. Spike took her hand firmly and she squeezed back.

"What is love? Is it him?" he asked, face lined with concern. But she never heard the words that left his lips, his voice was lost in time. Bright white light surrounded them. Rooting them to the spot. Making it so neither of them could see anything, not even themselves.

All they had was the tightening grip on the other's hand as they were jolted backwards. Falling into the light. Together.

xoxoxo

Oleander was seething after his conversation. He was replaying it in his mind. She was dressed in a hideous ensemble and she had the gall to try to tell him that he was in the wrong. That all his issues stemmed from his fucking childhood.

Everyone knows that the protagonist wears the interesting clothes and aren't lumped with cheap dresses using last season's green silk off-cuts. I mean, she wears t-shirts and jeans usually for God's sake! She can't be the main character, who does that jumped up little do-gooder think she is!?

He was trying to calm himself down by listening to the soothing strings of the cello except his own monologue was louder in his mind. Brother Thomas interrupted as his thoughts spun. Oleander held up his hand, making him wait.

"Outside, count to thirty-three and then come back in"

"Yes, O Leander" He bowed, backing out of the room.

He enjoyed the way his followers felt about him. Mix of love and fear, in the same way a good Christian feared God.

He was pleased something had gone well for once. She would be distracted in her little alternate dimension. It would hold her until the next ritual. Her essence shall be maintained without any of them able to do anything about it. Especially not her.

He crashed his lips against his before he could speak. They shared a slow, passionate kiss. It almost made Brother Thomas cry, it was as if kissing God himself to him.

"So, brother Thomas, where has our little flower gone?" He shooed him back from the proximity and he obliged.

"Well, it is actually unclear as to, uh, the exact location… but we can remove her whenever. All we need is to open the portal here"

"So, this dimension will have at least a lot of pain, yes? Sort of a torturous undertone that will weaken her for us?"

"O! Leander, your strength is immeasurable and I am only mortal, I am a-afraid… I do not know"

"Then what the fuck are you stood around here for! Find out! I want a direct link to her by sun-down or your light will be removed with the absence of the day-light!"

"Yes, of course" He bowed once more, "O! Leander, thank you for this opportunity"

Meanwhile, in a different dimension…

Saff and Spike woke up to an empty wedding hall. They had clearly missed everything. Saff looked down at her dress and sighed loudly as Spike moved swiftly to help her up. They kept their hands clasped in each others as they started the walk back to Spike's crypt. Something didn't feel right, and it wasn't the horrible neon green dress she was having to wear to walk through the streets. She had her heels in her hand, there was no chance she was walking that far in heels. She had spare clothes at Spike's and so they decided she could change and do something seeing as their night was now unexpectedly free.

She went down to the lower level of the crypt as Spike started to tidy the other level. He hadn't remembered leaving it in this state. Saff changed into one of Spike's shirts, none of her stuff was there. Maybe she had brought it all back to Revello without remembering? The last few weeks had been a blur to her after all. She didn't have chance to find anything to wear on her lower half as she heard a loud crash and two voices, making her rush to see what it was.

"Have you gone fucking mad, slayer?!" Spike shouted, holding Buffy at arms-length and tilting his head away from her. Saff watched as Spike's shirt had been ripped open, the buttons littering the concrete floor. What the-

She realised that Buffy had been kissing him as Spike took his arms off her quickly noticing Saff stood staring. Her mouth was agape in shock. Spike made a look that read 'help, I don't know what's happening' as Buffy replied.

"Come on, Spike. I don't have long before Dawn is back from Denise's house" Buffy answered, moving to kiss Spike again. What. The. Fuck.

"You've gone bloody daft in the head!"

"Um, Buff, get off him" Saffron said loudly, her eyebrows raised. She was about to get mad.

"Who's the skank, Spike?" Buffy asked, crossing her arms and looking her over. Saff was only wearing Spike's shirt and her underwear, and she felt a bit exposed under her cousin's gaze. Especially since she seemed to think she was a skank of some kind. Buffy rolled her eyes at Saff and turned back to Spike, "Trying to make me jealous? I already told you, I just want to feel. This isn't love, I can't have feelings for something like you…"

"That's exactly the right thing to say to get my boyfriend into bed, good one" Saff started to pull Buffy off him but Buffy swung at her. Saff caught her hand in hers, their strength almost matching. Buffy rolled her eyes and moved to turn back to Spike. she looked Buffy over, it was the least amount of clothes she had seen her in in months. No bite-marks. The scars had gone. Weird. Saff pulled a what-the-fuck-is-going-on face at Spike from behind Buffy's back as Spike shrugged clearly as confused as her. They were somewhere else. Somewhere scary.

"Oh great, she's not human. Sorry spike, your ho-bag might have to get a little dusty"

"I'm not a vampire! I'm your cousin!"

"That's a new one, I'll have to write it in my 'what vampires say when they're pleading for their life' notebook"

"Buffy! Stop it! I can't fight you!" "I'm your cousin!"

"I don't have a cousin" She said, before landing a blow to Saff's head, leaving her unconscious. The darkness consumed her, a state that was becoming way too familiar to the brunette.

When it wasn't the light, she became consumed by the dark. She could never win it seemed.

xoxoxo

Saff woke up handcuffed behind her back with chains wrapped around her for good measure. She looked beside her to find that Spike was also chained in the same fashion. Here we fucking go.

"If I had a dollar for every time I got shackled to something-" Saffron started, before Buffy landed a blow on the side of her face, shutting her up.

"Slayer, you had better hope I don't fucking get out of these you spiteful, evil bitch!" Spike shouted, struggling with the restraints.

"Anything's more evil than you Spike" Before turning to Saffron and punching her hard. Saff spat out some blood onto the floor, rolling her eyes. So this is what it felt like to be on the wrong side of the Slayer. Being the cousin, she had never truly known how it felt for the demons first hand. Now she felt even worse for the demons she came up against. She hated that part of her that cared about everyone, even if they are evil and trying to kill them.

"You know, I think I'm more worried that you know where Spike keeps his cuffs… how do you know that Buffy?" Saffron said, a false confidence wondering what the hell was going on.

"Honey, you need to stop she's going to beat you black and blue"

"Buffy, you're confused. You're hurt because you think spike is cheating on your twisted love affair and you're… you feel, um, depressed. Can't you feel me too? My emotions? Tell me what I'm feeling… it's the same as you"

"How am I supposed to feel what you feel, I'm a slayer, not a soothsayer"

"I think you mean fortune-teller, Buff. Well, empath would actually be more accurate"

"Yeah, Honeysuckle's right, it's Fortune-teller. Call yourself a Slayer?"

"Shut up! Both of you. Now" Buffy started to get angrier, "Tell me what's going on? What are you planning? Who are you really?"

"Which do you want me to answer first?"

"Take your pick"

"I'm not planning anything-" Saffron was cut off by another blow, "Ow, that bloody hurts you know!"

"It's supposed to. You have super-strength but you're not a vamp. You say you have a soul but you're intimate with Spike"

"Does that mean you… don't have a soul? You seemed pretty keen to fuck your way into the crypt" Saffron bit back, earning herself a hard punch on the nose. Crimson ran from her nose.

"Buffy! Look, I am your cousin! I know that you were once a waitress called Anne…" She offered, hoping it could prove something, but when it didn't Saff had an idea, "I, uh, also know about that horrifying sex dream you had about the Master two years to the day after you killed him" Spike's eyes lit up at this revelation, he would definitely bank that information for later. Buffy's jaw tensed. Saff earned a punch for that one, but she felt that Buffy was wavering. She had never told anyone about that.

"Love, stop it!" Spike shouted, struggling against his chains and trying to get Saffron to be quiet.

"Spike, you do not tell me what to do!" Buffy shouted turning to the vampire and successively punching him instead.

"Not you, Slayer! I was talking to my girl, I wouldn't call you love if you paid me all the gold in the buggering land"

"One of you needs to tell me what you're plotting before I land a stake in your heart and it'll be whoever's closest, vamp or not, Mr Pointy isn't picky"

At that moment, Spike sauntered into his crypt being followed by Giles who had been warning him away from Buffy for the last time before he left for England. The Spike that had just walked into his crypt did a double take. The chaos in the room was unusual even for Sunnydale. There he was sat tied up next to a pretty little thing who the Slayer was beating up. Poor chit wouldn't be pretty for long. And- was that his shirt? Cheeky bint!

"Alright pet, what have we got here? Taking the chance to exercise your nasty side?" the Spike that had just entered said cockily standing next to her. Giles rolled his eyes at the love-sick vampire, he just couldn't help himself. The Spike that had just entered stared at the other him, wondering what shit had been cooked up for the Slayer by the three idiots now. It was remarkable, but he was convinced he was more attractive than the one sat chained up before him.

"Not now Spike, I'm interrogating-" Buffy started and then stopped. She looked between the two vampires, "Oh shit"

"Yes, ah, well, your hostages may have some explaining to do" Giles stated, also deciding that Buffy had some explaining to do as well. What had she even been doing here in the first place? Saffron sensed the older man's confusion with interest.

An emergency scooby-meeting had been called. Saff and Spike found out that they were somewhere else. Somewhere they didn't belong. They had convinced them that they weren't doing any harm, they needed help to leave. Saff remembered her version of this day, it was just after the spell that had made them all forget.

And apparently Buffy and Spike had popped out for a quickie before they started their research. She shuddered. Spike and buffy, she couldn't imagine it. How had that even happened? She could feel Buffy's jealousy from across the room, although she had settled down since she found out they really weren't from here. The other Spike went off to get some blood or something, making it less confusing for everyone else in the room. Saff sighed, it was weird, as if her not being there changed everything but also not very much. The magic box was the same, except her name wasn't on the rota.

"Evil mayor? Did that happen here? Angelus killing and maiming various innocents? Who went invisible in our first year if it wasn't me?"

"It appears that our, uh, dimensions are remarkably similar except for the changes that involve you. And, uh, apparently Spike wasn't helping Angelus" The pair from the different dimension shared a glance as they nodded their heads in agreement as if they were completely innocent.

"Have we considered someone may be rewriting the timelines? Perhaps yours is, uh, an a-anomaly"

"Maybe you're the anomaly, I mean Spike and Bu-" she coughed as Buffy shot her a look, "uh, and being evil I mean? He was more Angel than Angel in our universe" She added, stepping on Spike's foot lightly before he started his predictable protest at being compared to Angel. I'm bloody nothing like that idiot, our colouring's completely different.

"He has a soul?"

"Kind of" She said, before moving swiftly on, "Look, I have the True Sight, ok? I think the corrupted has done this to me. I need to get back before it's too late"

"Yeah we're also late for a wedding, not that I'm bothered about the whelp and his bird so much. No offence" He added realising that the pair were staring slightly confused. They can't imagine inviting either of them.

"Look, I can feel everyone's emotions. I know you're still doubting me-"

"Doesn't take a genius to feel that in the room" Buffy replied.

"The… the true sight? But that is just a, ah, myth" Giles said slowly, moving the the bookshelf and selecting a book. One Saff had read many times.

"G, it may be a myth here, but it is very fucking real where we're from" The others winced at her language, it always seemed harsher in an English accent. Saffron quickly proved her revelation by telling everyone exactly how they were feeling before she explained everything that had happened in their dimension. The three and her life story. The three guys, the order, Oleander. The brief version.

"Those three? In a cult? Are you sure they weren't just cosplaying?" But Saffron shook her head.

"Does she remind you of anyone?" Xander asked, acting as if in deep thought, before adding "Faith! You're like Faith!"

"I am fucking not anything like that wicked, selfish bitch!" Saffron started to launch herself towards Xander who backed away hurriedly as Spike grabbed her around the waist to stop her.

"There's, uh, a spot of bad blood between them" Spike explained as he calmed Saffron down. The group watched, their eyes wide at how soft this Spike was with her. The pair really were in love. It was undeniable. Buffy shuddered, this hurt her despite knowing it wasn't the Spike she had been having sex with.

"A good Spike? It really must be a scary dimension you're from"

"I am bloody bad!" Spike pointed, "Next person that says I'm not bad is getting a free blood-draining!" starting to round on Xander himself before Saff pulled him to stand next to her with a grin. The others looked between the pair, not sure what to make of them.

"Oh, you don't need to pretend for them, sweetie, he's always helping Buffy out. They have this great relationship. Best friends. Brother-and-sister-in-law. Always teaming up together to stop the real bad guys"

He shot her a glare, sulking slightly. She tried to stop herself from smiling too widely. But he didn't let go of her hand. He couldn't look at the Slayer. This dimension even managed to scare him. Him and the slayer? He shuddered.

"Is there much shrimp in your dimension?" Anya changed the conversation, in deep thought.

"I'd say the usual amount of… shrimp. Why?" Saff replied, waiting for an answer. But Anya just shrugged and nodded. They all set about reading their books on portals and power influxes. Saff thought about something and asked to speak to willow and Tara.

They were allowed to stay at Revello. Buffy reluctantly let them, as long as they didn't tell the others about her and Spike. Saff walked down to her basement, the muscle memory forgetting to remind her she wasn't actually home. She stepped down and her eyes bulged. It was like a normal basement. Storage boxes and cobwebs. Weird. So weird. She stepped back to the ground level, bumping into Dawn on her way up. She felt the loneliness and isolation. The hollow feeling she had never noticed in Dawn where she was from. This girl felt so isolated.

"Who are you?" The younger brunette asked suspiciously.

"Dawn chorus, I am your fairy godmother!" Saff did a twirl in her shirt and the sweatpants she borrowed from Buffy that were three-quarter length on her as she was a bit taller.

"How do you know my name? Buffy! There's a fairy in the house!" She shouted, wary of the stranger.

"I'm not actually a fairy, Dawny. I'm your cousin. From a different dimension"

"You're totally evil aren't you! English cousin? You're here to kill us or ruin our lives!"

"This isn't some cheesy, yet ultimately enjoyable movie, Dawn! Do you think Buffy would let us stay if we couldn't be trusted?" Her eyes glinted as she had an idea, "I'm also slightly ahead of your timeline, do you want to hear all the secrets?"

"Is everything okay in here?" Buffy asked, an eyebrow raised and they both nodded. Saff pulled Dawn up to her room and closed the door. Revealing everything she thought might be useful for her. And told her definitely not to make any wishes anytime soon.

Spike walked in, forgetting to knock and standing in the middle of the room sighing loudly. The girls finished their conversation as he stood there, expecting them to ask what's wrong. He sighed again, louder.

"What is it, love?" Saff asked, rolling her eyes at Spike, and Dawn smiled. They even say the same things. She had instantly liked Saff and wished she could stay instead of leaving. The young girl here felt so alone.

"You really don't bloody exist here, Honeysuckle" He said, shaking his head. He'd just had the strangest conversation he will ever have.

"Honeysuckle? What kind of pet name is that?" Dawn interjected, wanting to find out everything she could. Part of her longed to leave with them. Having a cousin seemed cool and this Spike seemed kinder to her.

"Oh, it's a very romantic one. She loves it" Spike replied, smiling. Trying to get her back for her little act earlier.

"Yeah, totally romantic. Has all the romantic stuff in it. Blood, gore, fearing for your life" She deadpanned.

"Don't be like that, you like it now" He purred, giving her a wink. It was true, she enjoyed the way he said it.

"Am I supposed to be understanding this?" Dawn asked. She looked at Spike, she had been clued in that this wasn't the one she knew but he was the one she at least recognised.

"Just spoke to that bloody idiot outside" He shook his head in disgust, "Thinks he's in love with the slayer. I'm so glad we're not from here, love. Had to stop myself beating the bugger up"

"Who's outside?"

"Me… Well, me to you. Not the real me. I'm the real bloody me"

"Funny isn't it?"

"What's that, pet?"

"You're love's bitch in every universe" She giggled as he gave her a glare. He crooked his eyebrow at her, stopping himself from pulling her close and taking her to prove he wasn't some pathetic romantic. But the bit was there, and besides she would tease him about his need to prove otherwise anyway. She liked him for who he was. And he took pride in that in a way he had never been able to before.

xoxoxo

The Bronze was buzzing with excitement. It felt so real, she could feel the sticky floor she was stepping on, feel the plastic cup of juice in her hand. She was listening intently to a conversation about how the whole town had been made to sing and dance what was on their mind, making Saffron laugh at the thought. Anya launched into a rant about the fact she had a book number rather than a pop hit. Saff was really glad that didn't happen where she came from, she couldn't sing for a start and hearing some sugary ballads every time she left her house would make her go spare.

She laughed along at Anya's in-depth analysis of all of the lyrics and music that had been created during that time. It was so interesting to her to hear about how everything was without her. Anya finally finished and Saffron made sure to compliment her hair, telling her it was her favourite colour she had done it so far which Anya appreciated, even though to her it was the only colour this woman had seen her have. She shrugged and latched onto Xander, kissing him and trying to convince him to take her home for sex.

Spike walked up to Saff as she watched them walk away, leaning towards her with that familiar glint in his eye as he appreciated the view. She rolled her eyes, resting her hand on the side of his face. He closed his eyes, she could feel that he had been longing to be touched. A soft touch. Something to make him feel loved. She stroked her thumb along his cheekbone, smiling up at him. He closed his eyes, savouring the touch. The touch of someone in love with him.

He leaned in, looking from her eyes to her lips. She smiled, leaning up to catch his mouth with hers. He deepened the kiss, almost knocking the breath from her body. She became lost in his passionate embrace, as always.

His hand moved down to her neck and he frowned lightly, he could feel the scar of her bite mark and run his fingertips over it softly. They broke apart, Saffron looking around breathlessly. The passion and love he could feel from her was like nothing he could describe. He could get drunk on it. Speaking of getting drunk…

"Can I get you anything, pet? Beer?" Spike purred into her ear. She stared at him as if he was stupid as he waited for her to answer. Shit.

"Oh" Saffron said, realising she had made a mistake. Big mistake. He smirked, when he saw she had caught on, knowing full well what he had done. The bastard had done it on purpose! She stepped back from their close proximity and tried to explain herself, "Uh, no, I'm, uh…"

"She's teetotal. Bad for the complexion ain't it love? Gives you wrinkles" her Spike cut in for her, coming out of nowhere glaring at himself and wrapping an arm around her and pulling her away from the other vampire. God this was confusing.

"Thanks" she whispered, "Uh, did you- did you see-"

"You snogging the face off that sorry excuse for a vampire? Yeah, love. I did"

"Are you- what are you feeling?" Spike raised his eyebrow at her and smirked. She clasped her hand to his and felt it. Jealousy, predictable. But also… lust. Arousal.

"Oh"

"Mm, never seen how attractive we are when we do that" He smirked, "Maybe if we're stuck here, he could… we could…" Spike crooked a suggestive eyebrow.

"We haven't got any time"

"Love, think about it-"

"I should have known it'd be your fantasy… one Spike is enough for me" She said sweetly, kissing him softly on the side of his face as he looked a little put out.

"You've always said you would give it a go…"

"And what? Watch the two of you high five over me and tell each other what a great job you're doing?" she chided him, looking over at the other Spike for a second, before shaking the thought from her head.

"Well, we wouldn't both have to be over you… if position's your only issue" He smirked.

"I don't know about you but I don't plan on staying here for long, babe… seeing Buffy all over you is enough to ruin my sex drive altogether" she added teasingly. This made him growl and glare back over at the other Spike.

Silence washed over them as they watched this strange place. It was so familiar but just all wrong at the same time. It made her feel so weird. As if, nothing and everything changed when she wasn't there. It made her think, without her prophecy would the powers have any use for her? Would she even be allowed to exist? Could she have just died in the car crash with her parents or would Joyce never even have had a brother?

Would her lack of existence be a help to the world? Or a hindrance.

So many questions swarmed her mind but she couldn't dwell on this. Had to just keep going. Mostly, because she had another interruption.

"We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when" began to play over the speakers. A very different tone to the previous set the band had played. It made Saffron look up, frowning. She pressed herself into Spike's side the way she usually would. Reaching for him subconsciously.

But Spike was unmoving, not warmth and there to offer his embrace as he usually might. She looked at his face. He was still, statue-esque.

The entirety of the Bronze was now still. Frozen and unblinking. Time had stopped for all except her. Oh, and him…

"Oh you are fucking me!" she groaned as the man himself sat down in front of her, shoving Willow out of her seat and onto the ground, still statue-still. Oleander.

"All you had to do was ask… there's an age gap, but that hasn't stopped you before now has it, darling?"

"What have you done you stupid bastard!"

"You're incubating, resting, just waiting for me to bring you back… to me. You aren't needed at the failed wedding, why waste our precious time on such a doomed event?"

"So, I'm here why?"

"Perhaps to have an existential crisis about the real meaning of your pathetic and meaningless little life?" He said teasingly, finding her little thoughts cute and redundant. Her face stayed unmoving and he rolled his eyes theatrically with a shrug adding a further explanation, "Because I say so, sweets"

"That doesn't wash, Ollie. You usually have a reason"

"Now why would I want you to know that?"

"So you can gloat. You enjoy gloating. Feeling my pain… and a tiny part of you wants to see if I'm impressed. I feel it, the sad little part of you that needs my approval" he scowled. But snapped out of it.

"All you need to know is that you'll be home, kitten. Home to me and then dead to me. It's almost poetic"

"You need to read some better poems"

"See you at the next full moon… Laters" he winked before he snapped his fingers in front of her. Making her blink and flinch slightly.

When she opened her eyes, it was as if nothing had happened. That interaction had been a second, a milli-second even. The Bronze swinging back into life again. Movement starting back up around her.

She felt liquid pouring from her nose. A dizzy ache. She grabbed a napkin from the table. The napkin came out red. Blood.

She cleaned herself up as Spike stroked through her hair slightly. Knowing not to make a fuss. He eventually gestured with his head to her as a song started up. He was asking her to dance the way he had before.

"God, I need the distraction" She nodded, smiling.

The music was fast, not as heavy as they would like but still. Enough to get lost in each other and the bass. Spike and Saff began to jump about at the music.

Spike didn't drink here to support Saff the best he could. He even became almost friendly to the rest of the Scoobies, more obviously so than he was back home. Despite Saff and Spike agreeing in private not to change the course of this dimension, they had managed to set a lot of different things into motion that wouldn't otherwise have happened. But, they weren't to know. They tried their best anyway.

Whilst Spike and Saff were jumping about wildly, Buffy had sidled up to Spike and brought him into a quiet corner. Both the slayer and the other blonde vampire's eyes had been on Spike and Saff. How happy they were. Real love. Something Spike and Buffy wanted so desperately.

It made Buffy think something. She turned to him, ending it. She put a soft hand on his shoulder, nodding at him. Tears in her eyes. But, she still left with her other friends, not turning back to look at him.

This left one miserable vampire in the corner, having to tell everyone that came up to him that he had a twin that was why it looked as if he was in two places. The last few times he just growled at them and they backed away.

He was staring into his beer, barely drunk it. Watched the other Spike with his hand on the small of his girlfriend's back, they were walking towards the exit. Leaving together. Why did that bastard have all the bloody luck? An alternative universe that made a soulmate just for him. Spike purred something in her ear and she grinned, checking around her to make sure all of the others really had gone home. The pair walked up to the vampire.

"Grab your coat, babe, you've pulled" Saffron gestured her head towards the door. The vampire got to his feet, looking between the pair and then smirking, mirroring the vampire stood next to Saff as he sauntered out behind them. She rolled her eyes. This could be fun. Or, go horribly wrong.

xoxoxo

It had been three days. Three days of research that Willow had been missing for. Tara had dropped in every so often, but the girl found it hard to stay around the visitor. She made her shiver.

Willow had been doing research. Magic research. She knew the others wouldn't be keen. But she decided that it needed to be done. She found something and came rushing in.

"This! This is the one" She gave Saff the piece of paper excitedly. She liked the girl, they appeared to have more in common than she first thought especially as Saff just ran her mouth while she skimmed the text on a day she had caught her researching alone. She took Spike's hand and began to read over the words.

"Let the portal open as smooth as the portal will close. Save us now and treat our woes. Once, twice and three time's a charm – take us now and remove us from harm" Saffron said the words loud and clear. She pouted, nothing happened.

"Bloody give it here," Spike snatches the piece of paper and read it out loud. But again, there was no such luck.

"Oh, ah, it appears that the portal from this dimension to others is, uh, locked…" Giles revealed and everyone just sat in silence. There was something important, almost desperate that everyone sensed. Saffron needed to be back there. It was important.

Willow promised to keep looking, but explained Giles was right, for not it appeared as if they're stuck there.

Spike and Saff returned to Revello, retiring to the spare room they had been put up in after another long day.

"I wish I could just… see him the way he does to me. Infiltrate his mind, change the magics he's used"

"Couldn't harm to try" He offered after thinking it over. He had faith in her. She had never thought to properly try it. But, it was better than just waiting.

Spike held her hands in his, grounding her. So she wouldn't get lost in his mind. That would be hell.

She closed her eyes and tried to relax. She didn't know if it was working, she was just making it up as she went along. After a moment, she felt as if she had ascended from her own body. Slowly floating and landing into another.

There she was, watching his Order from his own eyes. Like a moving picture. He was speaking and she could feel the way that they all adored him. She waited, trying to figure out what to do. They began to discuss the portal. Beginning to explain why she was being held there and what was waiting for her when she was set to return. But she felt something shift. As if her mind was taking up more space in his.

She cut him off. Took her chance. Saff screamed the words, the ones Willow found, recited them to open the portal. She was desperate and had managed to scrape enough strength to control his speech as her own. She spoke the words as Oleander. She had seconds before he took his own body back over.

But it was enough. The portal began to open. A circle the size of a penny in mid-air slowly growing and swirling in the centre of the room.

The order members looked towards the man, confused. He laughed, beginning to slow clap at her work. She was really did just keep waking up and choosing stupidity.

He laughed, slow clapping at her little attempt. It was smart, but he is of course smarter. Or, that's what he thought anyway. All he had to do was snap his fingers and his followers scrambled to close it again.

He snapped his fingers and suddenly she was ripped from him. Tumbling backwards, back into the dimension she had been sent. Back into Spike's arms. She collapsed into him and he caught her as he always did. She was so exhausted.

"Did it start? Did the portal open?" she whispered, between apologies directed at him because he always had to support her in this way. He hushed her, nodding that it had worked but only briefly.

"Need a bit longer next you try, I wager"

"I can't, it took everything out of me. I'm so tired, Spike"

"Don't worry, Honey, I've got you don't I? We can rest and try again," He said softly, stroking down her back as she lay back against him, "Always tomorrow, we're lucky his evil is the stupid kind or he'd have sent us to a hell dimension"

They settled in the spare bed they had been sharing. She leaned and pressed a sleepy kiss to his jaw, eyes closing. He presumed she had already fallen asleep until she mumbled.

"He's my equal, when you say he's dumb it makes me dumb" She pointed out with a tired smile.

"I don't buy it. You're daft for even thinking it. He's nothing like you, pet. Not where it counts. Your heart, mind… There's something about you, something so unique that nobody could bloody compare" He spoke and felt how much that meant to her, a weight lifting from her. He had calmed her so much that she was able to slip easily into sleep. He heard her breathing begin to deepen, "I love you, Saff" He whispered, knowing she had fallen asleep but thinking it could reach her through her dreams.

He was so soft for her and he wouldn't change a thing. He had found the one, he was sure of it. He rested his head against the top of hers as he thought. He wouldn't be able to sleep, just hold her as she did for the most part.

A big part of him wanted to do away with the other him and just stay in this dimension. That way, Saff wouldn't have to face the horror everyday. Maybe the witch could make it so that Oleander couldn't reach her here.

xoxoxo

Tara came into the Magic box where everyone had gathered with a heavy book that she had borrowed from Giles and forgotten to give back. She found a way to 'pick the lock' that Oleander had made to prevent them from leaving. She did the spell with the help of Giles while Saff and Spike got changed back into the clothes they arrived in.

People stared in horror at Saff's dress but she afforded them a glare that none of them were used to which made their eyes all scatter with embarrassment. She took a deep breath and spoke again.

"Let the portal open as smooth as the portal will close. Save us now and treat our woes. Once, twice and three time's a charm – take us now and remove us from harm"

A portal opened and they both sighed in relief. Although Saff rolled her eyes that it truly had been three times before it had worked. They clasped hands again about to step into the portal. Before they step through, Saff turned back to them.

"Oh, Anya? Rethink the bright green for your bridesmaid's. I'm fucking radioactive"

"You were gonna make us wear that!?" Willow and Buffy said in unison, gesturing at Saff's dress.

"What? It's a pretty colour. It's that or brown - my favourite colours" Anya shrugged. She smiled and waved at them all before her and Spike walked through it back to their home dimension.

The pair rushed back to the wedding with Saff hopping as she put on her heels while trying to run. They skidded into the

The room's mood lifted at their entrance and then dampened just as quickly. They had been expecting a different pair. Saffron frowned, leading Spike towards the group of friends she recognised.

"What did I miss?" Saff asked but she was met by an awkward silence, if she hadn't had the ring on, she would have been knocked to the ground. They explained. Then she remembered. 'Failed wedding' that's what he said. He knew. He sent him.

"Xander left her at the altar"

"N-no! That can't be right… I've seen-I've seen them married, they had a kid!" She raised her voice, confused as everyone seemed surprised at what she had been told. Oh… shit. That was the future if I didn't come back. Is this my fault?

Buffy, Dawn and Saff were sat in the living room. There had been a long silence, each trying to come to terms with everything in their own ways. Saffron had explained where her and Spike had been, making sure not to tell her what her in an alternate universe had been trying to do with Spike. Buffy was worried about Saffron and suggested something that she never thought her cousin would say.

"Why don't you leave? Just for a while, until things blow over and you have chance to recover. He can't leave here right?" Buffy offered. She itched at her still-healing neck as she spoke. She was pleased Buffy wasn't blocking her out anymore. Both emotionally and verbally, Buffy was back as much as she could be.

"Will you be okay?" Saffron asked taking her cousin's hand in hers. She was scared that if she left Buff would start going back to get bitten. Not that things had been great when she was around to help.

Buffy nodded, she needed her cousin to be safe and being away from the Hellmouth was almost a guarantee. At least for a short while. Saff agreed only when Buffy explained that she needs to trust herself not to go back into her destructive ways as well. That she would focus on looking after Dawn, especially if Saff wouldn't be around. Buffy was trying her hardest to stay away, it had become her only way to feel something. The only thing she could turn to when things felt rough. Now she had to trust her loved ones and most importantly herself.

Saff dialled the number, tapping her leg as she waited, needing something to do with her hands. She didn't see any other option either.

She couldn't handle another week worrying about Oleander casting a spell, doing a ritual or hurting the people she loved so she could watch on. He only enjoyed it when she was there to watch. They decided this would be best. Just for a little while, seeing as he couldn't leave the Hellmouth and most of his stupid rituals she was required to be in close range.

It wasn't too far away really. Someone picked up. She breathed heavily, unsure if this was the right thing. Before she left, Saff asked Tara if she would drop in on Buffy and Tara agreed. She had been the first one Buffy had confided in after all.

The ringing stopped and a familiar voice answered as Saff began to speak, "Hello? It's me. Can I come and stay with you? Just for a while?"