A/N: I'd like to just thank you all so much for your kindness and support on this story ! I love writing it and it's so lovely to see you enjoying reading it ! I just want to say thanks and I hope you stick with it - there is plenty more to go! Also, the poem featured is 'The Cold Heaven' by W.B Yeats and I've double-checked it is public domain.

Much like the show, there is a whole bunch of action packed into the final chapters (or, episodes) leading up to the finale - so I hope you don't mind! xo

Chapter 61:

Saffron had been shuffling her tarot deck absentmindedly as she stared through the window in the living room. The sky was grey and appeared heavy, with rain or foreboding Saff didn't know. She couldn't shake this uneasiness she had ever since her trip, it clung to her bones – weighing her down. To make matters worse, Angelina had been missing for almost a day where she would usually stay close to Saff.

She was about to ask the deck something when Buffy entered the room from the kitchen. She missed the card that fell out and in her surprise at her cousin entering and appearing to be acting more like her than she had seen in a while, she put the card back into the pack. She didn't see the card that would have told her so much. Death.

"Is it the return of Buffy and Saff's brew and a chat!? It's like the little catch-ups that we used to have in high school!" Saff smiled when she saw two steaming mugs in her cousin's hand. Buffy returned her smile, but it wasn't quite as wide as Saff's. Buffy took a sip after Saff rushed to move everything out of her way so she could sit on the sofa beside her. Saff wrapped her hands around her own mug for warmth.

"Well, I thought 'cause you went to LA and we haven't been one with the sharing lately, we could give it another try. As long as you stop calling it that"

"You know me, can't do anything without a tagline and an award-winning performance"

"Definite Oscar worthiness" Buffy agreed. They sat in silence for a while, both could feel that the other's mind was turning to thoughts they wish they wouldn't. They were grateful for the other being there though, they didn't know if they could have faced these without each other being there.

"Sometimes I look at my reflection and I'm shocked it's there, it's like I'm a ghost or something. I don't know what the fuck happened…" Saff spoke up after a moment.

Buffy didn't reply to this but her face dropped at how much pain she could feel from her cousin, without her even being fully aware of it. Saff, nervous that she had shared possibly too much and, for the first time in a while, misjudged Buffy's discomfort because of her rather than what Buffy knew she continued, "Uh, anyway, enough about the serious amnesia how about you? How you holding up?"

"You know"

"You, uh, been back?" She said quietly, worried about her cousin since she had been away. Buffy shook her head, she hadn't tried to go back. She was trying to recover, but it was so hard, "I'm, you know… proud of you" Saff offered, putting a hand on her cousin's. Buffy nodded, looking into her mug.

"Thank you" Buffy whispered.

"I know I'm not much help, but I'm always here for you to talk to. I know I've been distracted, but I care. You're my sister, it isn't a lie"

"I know" Buffy smiled tightly, having to hide her guilt away from Saff was making the feeling grow more and more. She didn't want to have to hide anything from her, but for Saffron to know how much destruction she had caused. How many lives had been lost in LA. She wouldn't be able to move on from it and Buffy knew she had to right now.

They could both feel it. Something was looming, it was right around the corner and there was nothing they could do this time except fight their way through it. Thunder began to rumble in the distance as they sat and stewed in that feeling.

"Saff, if you need anything, a chat and a… brew or whatever, you don't need to be embarrassed" Buffy spoke, knowing her words could have gone either way. Buffy felt her embarrassment at her opening up and wanted to encourage it – but knew that it could have meant the opposite. But saff just nodded, she didn't even laugh at the idea of Buffy calling their time together a brew and a chat.

"Actually, there is something. Your emotions were impossible to read while you were – well, you know – and I know it could probably work for his influence too. Could you help me?"

"It was kinda easy. I just kept thinkin' I'd rather die… again than have anyone know" Buffy admitted, looking at the empty cup in her lap. Saff moved her hand and rested it on her cousin's shoulder comfortingly before she continued.

"I can block him when I'm mad or feeling something strongly… it's just all the other times… Would you- would you try to teach me?" She asked and Buffy nodded slowly.

Both agreed to help the other, Saffron would assist Buffy on getting used to feeling every emotion and trying to accept it rather than fight it whereas Buffy would teach Saff how to block influences and emotions.

After a long afternoon with Buffy and Saff both wrestling with their own emotions as well as everyone else's around them, both found themselves exhausted. Saff tried to sleep it off although violent flashes she didn't understand kept her up.

Instead of dwelling on her lack of sleep, she knocked on his door, something she hadn't done for a while. It was late at night but Spike had informed her that he would be out all night so she decided it was time she dropped in on her friend. He opened it and when she saw him she realised he was drunk. So drunk, she almost felt the room spinning herself.

"SP! Come join the fun and merriment!" He shouted too-loud as he ushered her inside to the empty apartment. There were empty beer bottles on the counters, "Want one? I really get it, the bubbly hoppiness really takes away from the hideous guilt"

"Xander, don't. It's not funny" She said, moving the bottle out of her way that he had been offering.

"Hey, who's laughing? I left her, I couldn't do it – even if he hadn't sent him, I wouldn't have gone through with it! It's me, Xander I don't tie myself in knots with the serious commitment"

"Right, enough of this wallowing in self-pity. You made a choice, that's that. I'll grab you some water"

She passed him a long glass of water and started busying herself by tidying up his place. She set all of the bottles ready to be taken down to the recycling bin later. She washed up his dishes and cleaned up the takeaway boxes. When she finally sat beside him and flipped on some crappy tv, Xander appeared to be sobering up slightly.

It made her sad that the man, who Xander had thought was him from the future, had warned him against marrying Anya. He had told him every fear he had every felt. Every fear he had, that Oleander happened feel from him. Oleander had played his anxiety, his insecurity like a well-tuned instrument. And had helped ruin his wedding day. Ollie hadn't thought it would work so well. He was pleased.

"How do you control your insecurity… your… jealousy?"

"I'm not that much of a jealous person, it's a natural human emotion, as long as that's not all you're feeling in a relationship… that's okay you don't need to control it. Or, you can just turn it into really good sex" she offered. Her and Spike did get jealous, Spike more so than her, but they had both worked on it together.

"But… sometimes, like, when Spike caught An's eye when I was speaking, you know? How could I live my life always comparing myself to the better man in the room"

"You don't have to compare yourself or fight other men for a woman's affection. Anya was tied to you, for better or worse, Xand. You had her willing to be human and live a long, happy life with you…"

"Yeah, but, commitment… marriage… it's too much. I'm not ready"

"Then, fine. You're not ready. But you gotta tell the girl instead of making like you're trying to get the world record in distance running… think how embarrassing that was for her. You need to talk with her"

"But, what he showed… it was all my fears"

"Yeah, that's kinda how Oleander operates. He can feel your fear. Look, it's happened now. You need to talk to her, make sure you apologise if you haven't already. You fucked up, but who hasn't right?" Xander nodded as Saffron passed him another glass of water.

By 3am, Saffron was convinced that Xander was going to be okay. She checked the time and started to leave, she wouldn't be able to sleep, but she thought she had better get to her own bed. Xander was getting up, seemingly having the same idea as he hugged her goodbye and then let her show herself out as he crawled into bed.

Rather than crawling into bed, she walked. And walked. Until her legs started to tire and she could actually feel the body she was in, at last. Her mind just couldn't switch off at the moment. She was thinking about calling someone. Someone she really should discuss a few things with before things got even more confusing. And, as she had been thinking this, as if by magic it appeared in front of her. A payphone.

Saff stopped abruptly as she saw it, arguing whether she should pick up and dial. She stopped and stood staring at the payphone as if it was her adversary. She eventually smuggled inside, calling the familiar number. Angel.

Luckily, what with the nocturnal thing, Angel was awake and basically sitting beside the phone waiting for someone helpless to call him up. Lucky for him, she had the correct change.

"What happened Angel? I'm missing something and I'm going up the walls trying to remember" she skipped the pleasantries and launched into her interrogation.

"You were in your head, your big bad was torturing you. You don't want to remember, trust me" She felt the conviction behind his words even through the phone and shivered.

"Am I still allowed the open-invite after the drama I brought?"

"Let's leave it a couple of months at least"

"Might not last that long anyway" She joked, but neither laughed. Saff knew whatever was coming was coming soon. She asked him more questions, but he cut her off at almost every turn. Rather than letting her mind wander again, he stopped her. Telling her to look in the pocket of her jeans. The ones she brought when she visited.

She ran to her room, scrabbling through her still not unpacked suitcase. As if this might be the singular answer to all of her issues. She finds the scrap of battered scrap of paper.

Light and light; Dark and dark

Let there be no witness to remark

While one may live, the other may not seek

When all is done, no monument shall keep

As fear makes those in shadow cower and weep

Now here endeth this damning tryst

Or let thee be swallowed in amethyst mist.

Let foes in battle become undone

Only one, only one.

What a load of shit. She knew it was important, of course, but really? Rhyming 'undone' with 'one'? She was sure whoever wrote that one must have been thrown out of heaven. At least.

xoxoxo

Spike had been quiet since they came back from LA and she had noticed his absence more frequently. He was thinking a lot and she felt a tiny hint of guilt from him when he looked at her or when she asked where he had been. Not enough to worry her, but enough to make her wonder. Saffron planned to talk to him about it, but there was a more pressing matter at hand. Angel (the cat) was still missing. They were walking the streets after dark to try and find her and reunite their little family.

"I'm worried Spike… she's never run away before… she's tiny and there are so many predators that hunt kittens specifically in Sunnydale!" She said as they walked through another backstreet, looking for the little addition to their family.

"She's little, but she's tough… She'd come out the winner if she went up against a Gordolox, I wager"

"Oh god, what if she's been eaten!"

"Look, she'll be fine… Dawn will have tried to snatch her up and keep her in her room again"

"No! I looked in there already and she's so tiny and she has that eye problem you know where she bumps into things thinking they're further away than they are?"

"Love, you wear glasses shouldn't you know what the word for that is?"

"I wear contacts, I don't formulate the solution" she said and he couldn't help the soft smile on his face. He really did love her. The way she spoke, the way she held herself and her convictions, the way she cared so deeply. The way she… yawned because she couldn't sleep properly since LA and it made him so guilty he could quiver with it. When she yawned again, he had to mention it. He cared too much.

"Your dreams pet… they're still violent?"

"Yeah… with the killing and the enjoying and the… leather" She shuddered and then decided to continue, to explain how troubled she felt, "Almost as if I can taste the whole world's fear, the chaos with every breath I take… it's as if I'm watching the world burn…" She said, her eyes going glassy as she stared into the distance.

He looked at her, his own expression matching hers. It was tearing him apart keeping everything from her. But if she ever found out she would fall apart. He loved her so much he had managed to agree with Buffy and Angel on something. When he was around, he had been holding her while she did sleep, but that wasn't even happening anymore. She tried to avoid sleep as much as she could. He had been away to deal with his guilt over this in his own way.

"It'll be something to do with that ugly bastard…" He started, but softened and paused before whispering, "I'm worried about you, love, you barely sleep…"

"That's okay, Spike! It just means more time with you!" She grinned, but her face was tired. The black circles were prominent and she never seemed to be asleep when he was awake. When they were in bed together, even if he was waking up for a split second in the day after her own sleepless night, she always seemed to be awake.

Despite everything, she tried to stay above the water. Wouldn't let herself drown or wallow in everything. Perhaps it was unhealthy, to focus on only the good she had left. But it was the only way she could survive any of this. Spike watched her expressions change as she thought and his heart ached in his chest.

"Oh, right. I've got something to show you, Honeysuckle!" He said suddenly as he remembered something, a small smile on his face.

"Yeah? I've heard that one before, babe…" she said, eyes raised, He winked but pulled her by the wrist down the street.

"No! I mean it, come here" He pulled her under a rare street-light in Sunnydale, so they were lit up under the night.

He showed her his left hand, palm facing down under the light. She looked at his hand and then up at his face. She was clearly missing something. He quickly moved the back of his hand up to face her and put all of his fingers down except his pinkie finger. He raised his eyebrows for her to notice. She looked perplexed but then seemed to understand. She grabbed his hand and moved the little finger under the light as he smiled at her.

"Dedicated to you, Honey" he smouldered in the way that he did. She grinned and looked back at his fingernail. He had painted it (very) dark purple, almost black. Just that finger on that hand, the rest were the usual black. That purple was her favourite colour to wear on her nails.

"Fucking hell that's romantic" She mumbled against his lips as she had instantly taken his face in her hands and pulled him in for a kiss. She peppered his face and neck in the sweetest kisses as they found their way back to the crypt. Hands entwined and her whispers of adoration made him grin.

It was a small gesture, but it meant so much. They sat in front of the television, sat close on the sofa. The one they had shared from the beginning of their relationship. Their love growing and blossoming into what it was today. This strength they felt from each other, this deep and unending feeling that neither ever wanted to lose. Saff leaned against Spike, her hand sliding against his jawline and resting against his cheek. Her thumb rubbed soothingly as he cast his eye towards the tv every so often. She began pressing kisses against his neck where his pulse point would be, pressing her love into his skin with every loving movement. His hand grasped her waist, caressing her and encouraging this softness they shared.

After a while, she descended to the lower level of the crypt. Leaving him in front of the tv. Eventually, Spike misses her absence too much and calls out, saying she's missing a crucial part of the soap opera. He flips it off, frowning. It's completely quiet. Goes down to the lower level, she's painting the nail on her little finger black for him. He grins and launches himself into the bed beside her.

She rested her hand on his shoulder, stroking the bare skin of his upper arm slowly and taking her place beside him. He began to bundle the sheets around them, both shifting to lie on their sides facing each other. Spike took her hand, bringing it to his lips and pressing several adoring kisses against the back of her hand. His eyes on her, his heart soaring at the ghost of a smile on her face one that he had been missing so desperately.

He was the only one that could make her feel even the slightest glint of happiness – even in the situation they were in now. Just as he felt his own mood lifting just by her mere presence. He swore he could feel his own heart beating, in the same rhythm as hers.

Love surrounded them, the room warmed up with the comfort that their love brought the other. They were committed to each other. In every sense. That's all she could feel and she began to close her eyes at the sensation. Of his love and the softness of his touch. He could be so loving. So gentle but it didn't surprise her. He was hers just as she was his. He cared so deeply and she could see the toll everything was taking on his mind as well as her own. She coaxed him to speak his mind, as they always would.

"Where have you been going since we've been back?" she asked sleepily, eyes barely staying open as she looked at him.

"Love, not now… please? Let's just enjoy this"

"Okay, I trust you…" She smiled and almost caught the wince. Despite this, he smiled back. Of course he did, it was her.

Saff moved to link her little finger with his, so that the ones that were in the others respective colours and lay facing each other. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles softly. She smiled, a breathy laugh escaping her lips as she moved in closer to him. Focusing only on their affection a warm blanket surrounding them. This was the one place she felt safe, where she felt happy to slip into the embrace of sleep. Because she was protected by his embrace.

They continued to lay, wrapped around the other and nestled in bed. If he could hold onto this forever, he would.

xoxoxo

Missing!

[Image: adorable black kitten, sparkly pink collar]

"Responds to Angelina, Angie or Angel"

Big Reward!

Contact us with any tips: (555) 033-003

It had been three days. She had borrowed a staple gun and a large amount of printer ink from the magic box and had been everywhere across town putting posters up. It was late morning so Spike was sleeping and she had Dawn helping her. They had been to every graveyard, all 43 churches and she had even convinced Dawn to put posters up all over her school. You now couldn't move in Sunnydale without coming across one of the fliers.

"She's too trusting, she'll go up to anyone looking for a bit of affection" Saffron sighed, worrying about her cat as she rubbed her eye tiredly.

"Look! I brought her favourite toy – maybe if we squeak it a little she might come" Dawn said, she was determined to find the kitten as she was. She appreciated her cousin's help and she grabbed her in a hug to show her. Once upon a time, this would be unusual for Saff, but ever since basically everything had happened Saffron had been determined to show Dawn how much she meant to her.

They dropped by Nell's diner on their way back from the last church. She didn't have a shift but they were going to ask Martha if they could put up some missing posters. Saff stubbed out her cigarette end in the closest ash tray as they were greeted cheerily by Martha.

"Hey, hon! Don't think I've ever seen you in daylight before, you wantin' a menu?"

"Angel's missing!" Dawn shouted dramatically and Martha clutched her chest in shock.

"Good God, this town has a lot to answer for! You need a scone for the shock?"

"Yes!" Dawn shouted as Saffron was about to say they could manage without.

"Can I get a word in, Dawny? We'll take the scones, might as well eat our feelings. I'm worried someone's taken her" Saff spoke without really thinking about it. She was working on autopilot as it was. As Martha nodded, turning to find some plates, Dawn and Saff put a flyer on every table before they sat at the counter and ate.

"You okay, hon? You look like you haven't slept" Martha leant against the counter, Saff could feel the woman's strong concern as if it was her own.

"Just bad dreams" She shrugged.

"Major wiggy dreams, she screamed the whole house down – we thought Spike had gone evil again-" Dawn ran her mouth as Saffron elbowed her to shut up. Martha was used to Dawn's enthusiastic over exaggeration and so took it for Spike not being into Saffron or something. She knew the pair too well, Spike was not evil. Not to Saffron at any rate.

"Don't worry, not tired enough to miss my shift" She smiled at the older woman who shook her head at how hard working she was. The truth was, she hadn't slept properly since LA. She hadn't been sleeping well before, but now she felt as if she was running on coffee and cigarettes alone. She knew it was going to catch up with her, especially when Oleander was after her but she was embarrassed of the dreams.

People (that weren't Spike) couldn't know she dreamed of killing and enjoying it. She knew she had been herself in the dreams, not Oleander this time. She had convinced Dawn and the others that her nightmare had been a one-off Oleander vision type dream and told them to go back to bed. She didn't go back to sleep after that.

"Even Spike's worried about Angie now, she hasn't been home in almost a week… he's started to leave a saucer of milk outside the crypt" She explained, taking a large sip form her black coffee, a worried frown set on her face.

Martha, with a pure sincerity that Saffron appreciated feeling, convinced them that Angie would be found really soon. She decided life had been too unfair to the two girls and that the least they deserved was their sweet cat back. When Saff wasn't talking about Spike at work, she was talking about that cat.

Eventually, after thanking Martha and insisting she was the only good in Sunnydale, Dawn and Saff went their separate ways. Dawn appeared slightly comforted by Martha's kind ear (and free scones always tasted better to the younger girl anyway). The younger brunette went to do some homework at a friend's house and Saffron went to yet another coffee shop to meet up with Tara. She had promised on account of her not-a-date-but-sort-of-a-date with Willow.

Saff skidded into the coffee shop, bringing a wash of excitement that had recently been missing from her own emotional range lately. But her friends were talking again and she wanted to know everything.

"Hey Saffy" Tara smiled at her friend who almost spilled her coffee everywhere in excitement as she brought it to the table.

"So… how did it go?!" She whispered excitedly, dropping the strong liquid over the table and had to mop it up with napkin as she listened.

"Why are you whispering? You hugged Willow on your way in – you know she's not here"

"Zip it, T! Spill!" She ordered, pointing tinged-brown napkins at her friend before discarding them.

"Okay… am I zipping it or spilling it?"

"I want to hear everything! How did you get on? Was it awkward? Did your hands graze against each other when you were reaching for the sugar?!" Saffron asked excitedly.

Tara laughed and launched into a detailed account of her and Willow's date that had just ended. They seemed to really be getting on again and saffron could feel the longing for Willow in Tara's mind as she spoke. She had a feeling they would be closer than ever again soon.

"Um, how have you been? Any joy finding Angelina?" Tara asked after she finished, saffron's head whipped up, eyes wide.

"Have you seen her?! What do you know?!"

"Uh, no, sorry… the posters" Tara pointed over to the counter of the Espresso pump, where the entire front was plastered with fliers.

Tara and Saffron's hands accidentally touched as they spoke and they winced at the same time. A glow surrounded them as a voice sounded. Tara's eyes widened, but unfortunately Saff was used to this happening. Their hair whipped around them, the wind had picked up inside the coffee store. A voice, barely above a whisper demanded their attention.

"Suddenly I saw the cold and rook-delighting heaven

That seemed as though ice burned and was but the more ice,

And thereupon imagination and heart were driven

So wild that every casual thought of that and this

Vanished, and left but memories, that should be out of season

With the hot blood of youth, of love crossed long ago;

And I took all the blame out of all sense and reason,

Until I cried and trembled and rocked to and fro,

Riddled with light. Ah! when the ghost begins to quicken,

Confusion of the death-bed over, is it sent

Out naked on the roads, as the books say, and stricken

By the injustice of the skies for punishment?"

The voice said softly, as if a whisper through the wind. Saffron's eyes were wide as she tried to understand. But Tara recognised the words. She had taken a poetry class at college.

The pair were snapped out of it at the sound of a chair dragging loudly towards them, making an annoying noise along the floor. The ex-vengeance demon pulled a chair up, either oblivious or not caring about what she had just interrupted.

"Anya!"

"We missed you, An!" Saffron said as Anya frowned, looking between them as they had snatched their hands away from each other. Saffron felt a bit of guilt lifting from Anya as she did. She really hoped she didn't think they were cheating on Willow and Spike.

"So, you're a lesbian and you're…" Anya paused and Saffron could feel she was trying to choose her words carefully, "Whatever it is you tell yourself you are because labels are good for some people and not for other people, or so I hear" Anya rushed out as Saffron frowned but shrugged. She had more pressing matters on her mind, "So, let's talk about hating men"

"I don't hate men" Saffron shrugged, clearing that up. She liked to challenge the odd testosterone-filled moment and she often didn't trust them as easily, but it didn't mean she hated men. She was in love with one after all.

"Yeah, I care more about the… loving women part" Tara added. Willow had warned her that Anya might make an unannounced visit to try and convince her to say something about Xander.

"You're more of a vampire-loving type" Oh, that's what she meant, "And you- you must get mad at men watching girls together- men like Xander-"

"Look, Anya, can it okay? We're not wishing for anything"

"You heard about that then?"

"Only a little…" Saffron said, she had actually been told by everyone except Spike about Anya trying to convince them to wish.

"What Xander did was shitty, really fucking shitty. But you need to move on, or forgive him. Those are your options, vengeance will just make things messy. You'll regret hurting him and then nothing will ever change… you'll just keep hurting each other"

"That sounded… practiced"

"It was, I got the head's up two days ago. I'm gonna take it that you saved the best 'til last" she said, gesturing at herself as she seemed to be the last person Anya had come to.

In truth, Anya had been avoiding Saffron to begin with. She always knew the truth, so it made deception even harder. Anya spoke to them for a while longer before leaving them to it. As soon as she left, Saffron whipped her head around to look at Tara.

"T! that poem do you know it?"

"Yeats. The poem was supposed to be about emotion and destiny…"

"Well, it should be signed, sealed and fucking dedicated to me then…"

"I'll find my copy of the book… do some more research"

"Good plan, I'll have to research some Oleander shite" She sighed, rubbing her head slightly, "But I think Dawn likes poems! She did an English class or something, maybe you could research with her?" she added more enthusiastically than she felt.

xoxoxo

Dawn and Tara were pouring over the poem. Dawn had borrowed highlighters and had been bringing out different lines. Saffron tried to help, but she couldn't focus. She instead walked over to Willow who was on the computer but didn't really understand what all of it meant so she just nodded and went to sling a friendly arm over Xander's shoulder.

Xander had kicked over a garden gnome in their front garden that had a camera in it. This prompted the others to get Willow on the case. Willow had managed to hack into the remote surveillance that had been set up for a while. Oleander had instructed the three boys to watch and learn any detail about Saffron that could be use against her. They had the mind connection but he didn't see every snippet. This was their way of proving, finally, that they could join the group. Little did they know that as soon as the plan was carried out, he would no longer have any use for them.

"Oh my god, there's more. The Doublemeat palace, Nell's Diner, my classes… Xander's worksite. And the- the-" Her face dropped as she watched the scene playing on the video link. She couldn't help staring, mouth open as she watched the pair together.

"Will, what is it?" Buffy asked as they all crowded behind her to see what she had found.

"Wait, Saff- Xander- no" Willow tried in vain to hide the screen with her hands but it was too late. They had seen it.

"Oh God"

"Fuck sake!"

The camera to the magic box was centred on the middle of the room, where the table they would all research around was cluttered with fliers. The clutter of missing cat posters was not what was shocking, as Anya was laying on her back with Spike over her as they had steamy sex on top of the table. Their mouths met hotly as they continued to strip the other of items of clothing. Just enough, as if they were too excited to wait. Saffron was sick to her stomach as Xander seethed beside her.

Dawn walked over at the commotion and the four older people just staring at the screen in horror, she managed to glance at what was going on before Willow put her hands over the younger girls eyes. While Buffy and Willow tried to distract Dawn and get her to go back and research with Tara, who had also come over to see what had happened on-screen, Xander and Saffron shared a look. They both knew what they were about to do as they ran together towards the Magic Box.

When they arrived at the Magic Box, a few paces from the door, Spike walked out oblivious to what everyone had seen.

"Thanks, pet! Service with a smile as always" Spike called with a wink, sauntering through the door of the magic box as he slammed it closed behind him. He turned from the door and came face-to-fist with Xander. The human punched him successively before managing to form words through his shock.

"Hey! What the bloody hell-" He started but is cut off by another punch to his jaw from Xander. That's when he saw her, their eyes connected. She was watching, stood motionless. The only indicator she wasn't a hallucination on his part was because she was blinking a lot, trying to stop hot tears from falling. She seemed so hollow, but her eyes suggested that hollowness was quickly filling with hot anger. The once cool night as now blazing around them.

Xander grabbed his shirt and hit him successively as Spike tried to get Saff's attention, get her to come and step in. He couldn't hit back, it wasn't a fair fight. Xander raised his fist again, about to land another blow but Saff pushed him out of the way, standing over Spike who was now crouched on the floor.

"Get up" He looked confused at her cold demeanour, "Get. Up" she repeated, not offering him a hand.

"What-" He started, looked between Xander and Saffron's angry faces.

"I hate you" She spat, staring hard at him. Xander stalked off to talk to anya, who was standing at the entrance of the Magic Box, having heard the commotion outside.

"Love-" He started, he wasn't aware that there were cameras in the Magic Box. Cameras that caught every angle.

"Don't fucking 'love' me! Not now, not ever!" She screamed, holding back tears that desperately wanted to flow, "Everyone was fucking right about you!"

"Honeysuckle, talk to me…"

"I don't want to talk! You're a soulless bastard, all you care about is yourself!"

Shit, what did she find out about? Boxer rebellion? No, she saw that. Prague?

Maybe she remembered L.A.?

"What have I bloody done!?" He shouted, giving up guessing. There was no way she would have seen anything damning, the last time they saw each other everything was good. It could be any countless number of people he had killed. Bad deeds he had done. Which one had changed her mind about him? It was so long ago, a different lifetime. He had almost forgotten. Almost.

"As if you don't know! Or maybe you don't think it means anything! I never saw you as a man, Spike. You'll always be a monster" Her words echoed that of her vampire counterpart in L.A. His face changed. Sorrow and guilt. She knew it. She could feel how guilty he felt. Fucker. Her conscience would be telling her that her words had gone too far if he hadn't literally been making a live sex show for the people of Sunnydale.

Anya and Xander came into view, Anya started to speak but Saff was too caught up in everything. She was hurt. To see Anya, someone she actually liked, with Spike. Touching him, being touched by him in a way that was so intimate. Special to them. Or it had been. It made her sick. He looked at her, she was unmoving. He knew what he had to do. Spike stalked away, holding back tears. "I'll show her" he muttered as Saffron watched, trying to stop the tears falling.

"I don't wanna hear it" Xander snapped at Anya.

"Saff-" Anya started, pleading with the girl instead of her ex. She needed someone to listen to her but Saffron put her hand up to silence her.

"I thought you were my friend!" She screamed, hot tears were streaming down her face now that Spike had gone. It hurt so fucking much.

"I am! I don't understand-" Anya Started, but Saff cut her off again. She was too angry, all she could feel was her own emotions.

"Make it up to me. I wish Spike would disappear" she asked the vengeance demon coldly, before storming off in the opposite direction that Spike had gone in.