Spoilers/Warning: This fic contains spoilers about the game and its ending so consider yourself warned. And also there's some swearing in here, due to the Sparda brothers' potty mouths.

Dedication: To all my reviewers: Meirelle, Sam Valentine, yodel, Kerrianne Harrington, eve, and anonymous. You guys rock my socks! ;)

Disclaimer: (phones Capcom's main office). "Hello? I'd like to buy the rights to Devil May Cry please. What? You mean it costs several hundred million dollars, my arms, legs, first-born child, and my soul? Uh, I'll get back to you on that …" (click) "Dang!"

A/N: OK here's chapter four! Tell me what you think of it; I'd love to hear from you! Oh, and more extensive author's notes after the chapter. Enjoy. :D

Chapter 04: Setting Off

With a deep moan, Dante awoke.

Squinting his eyes against the morning light, he stiffly sat up in the armchair he'd fallen out of last night.

'Ow, man,' he lamented to himself as he rubbed his sore neck.

Since the flat had only housed one person before Lady had gotten the only bed. Vergil had claimed the couch without asking, so Dante was left with nowhere to sleep. Even he refused to bed down on the dirty floor again, so he'd used the only other piece of furniture in the room.

He'd slept sitting on the chair and resting his head and arms on the desktop. It wasn't the most comfortable position in the world and his aching neck and shoulders were proof of that.

"ACHOO!"

The sneeze took him by surprise, and it was violent enough to rock him back against the chair.

"Ugh."

Sniffing loudly Dante blearily glanced at his 'pillow'. It seemed that Cerberus had managed to scrabble to the top of the desk and had curled up against Dante's head. The hellish puppy was still sound asleep, his breath coming out in frosty mist that iced over the tattered leather desk blotter.

Patting the crown of his head, Dante felt tiny icicles in his hair.

"Great," he rubbed his face before emitting a loud yawn. His joints were killing him and now he had a brain freeze to boot.

Wearily rising from his seat he shuffled over to the bathroom. He passed by Vergil who was lying on the couch. His twin's back was facing him, and Dante couldn't tell if he was still asleep or not.

Checking the wall clock the devil hunter saw that it was only a little past eight o'clock. All three had a late night before; after dinner they had spent some time cleaning up the floor and scavenging Dante's belongings for anything useful.

They hadn't found much; most of his things had already been moved to his now ruined office. What they did unearth were some of his old clothes, mostly sweaters and track pants, some lose change (a.k.a. lost pizza money), half-empty first aid kits, and a few basic toiletries. The rest of his stuff was esoteric knickknacks he'd been planning on throwing out.

Grabbing a (relatively) clean towel he entered the toxic-green tiled bathroom and locked the door. Dante ran the taps for a bit to get the rust washed out of the faucet. When the water was clear he took a hot shower, summer weather be damned.

Feeling much better now that he'd defrosted, Dante sauntered out of the bathroom and headed for the pizza box. No one but him had been that hungry last night so there were plenty of leftovers. Neither Lady nor Vergil had bothered to tell Dante that they didn't exactly love pizza as much as he did.

Passing by the couch again on his way to breakfast, Vergil finally saw it fit to acknowledge his brother.

"Dante," he said blandly.

"Well good morning to you too, sunshi- whoa!"

Much to Vergil's amusement Dante did a nice flip before landing on his face.

"Damned dog …" Dante said in a muffled voice as he peeled himself from the floor. It looked like Cerberus had struck again with his freezing pee.

"I was waiting for that," Vergil smirked as he sat up from the couch. He had seen where Cerberus had relieved himself after waking up a few minutes ago. It had seemed only right to see whether Dante would notice the ice or not. Of course, he admitted gleefully to himself, his well-timed greeting had provided a nice distraction as well.

"Thanks for the warning," Dante frowned as he stood up. Cerberus had to be housebroken or else someone could get seriously hurt from slipping on his accidents. That wouldn't be so much of a problem for Vergil and him, but he could almost imagine his other guest's reaction if she ever fell. Most likely it would be painful and aimed at him.

The brown door opened and Lady stepped out.

"Morning," she said semi-genially before grabbing a towel from the pile they'd found last night and entered the bathroom. She was wearing a pair of Dante's old shorts and t-shirt for pajamas.

Dante sighed.

He should have woken up to a nice woman's face instead of the icy cold visage of Cerberus, cute as he was in this form. Life really sucked sometimes.

Walking over to the pizza box, he grabbed a slice and scarfed it down. Vergil watched in disgust as Dante 'ate', or more precisely, shoved food down his throat.

"He's not even heating it up," Vergil muttered to himself in revulsion. Of course he knew there was nothing to heat the pizza up in, but still, it was the principal of the matter.

Rising from the couch Vergil reluctantly joined his brother who was already on his third slice. Cerberus was at Dante's feet, begging for food. Since they didn't have any proper puppy chow, his 'master' fed him the same thing as last night: pizza crust and pepperoni. The puppy didn't seem to mind as he ate the pepperoni with similar enthusiasm as Dante.

"Do you have anything else to eat?" Vergil asked indifferently, but hoping against hope that there was.

"Nope," Dante answered easily and then nudge the pizza box precariously resting on some plastic bins towards Vergil. "Help yourself."

"Pass," Vergil wrinkled his nose at it and went back to the couch. True he was hungry but he wasn't that hungry.

"Suit yourself," his brother shrugged and happily took Vergil's share.

Lady came out a few minutes later dressed in her outfit from yesterday. There was no way in Hell she was going outside in Dante's old clothing.

'Besides, they don't stink that bad,' she took a whiff of her cropped dress shirt. Yeah they smelt a little sweaty, along with her knee-high socks. Her kilt wasn't too bad though there was some demon and her blood on it. But who cared? She looked good, and if either of the Sparda brothers mentioned her, ah, fragrance, she would beat them without mercy or reservation.

Cerberus ran over to her and jumped into her arms. Lady caught him with a smile and the three heads wouldn't stop yapping at her till she petted all of them. Setting him down he scampered off to parts unknown.

Content with things for the moment she approached Dante, the more personable of the twins, but promptly stopped when he offered her the pizza box. No way was she eating that again.

"Don't you have anything else to eat?" she asked almost the same question as Vergil did.

"No," they said in stereo.

"Pass."

Huffily she sat down in Dante's armchair and glared from one brother to the other.

'Oh great, there are two of them!' Dante thought. Nevermind that it was hilarious how similar Vergil and Lady's reaction to the pizza was. What mattered was that there were two picky eaters with attitudes living with him. It didn't bode well for him or his stomach.

Silently Vergil got up and headed for the bathroom. He passed by Cerberus, who was now chewing on one of Dante's sweats socks, and made sure to scan the floor for ice. Seeing none he got another towel and closed the door.

"So what's the plan for today?" Lady asked as she propped her legs up on the table a la Dante. "We're going to see these occult specialists that Vergil knows, right?"

"Yeah, we'll go as soon as Mr. Moody over there finishes using the bathroom," Dante nodded as he closed the pizza box. There were still a few slices left. Most likely that would be lunch as well.

"Argh!"

Vergil's shout made everyone in the flat stand up. This time Lady was armed and her hands automatically grabbed her pistols. If there were any more demons coming to call, she was ready this time.

Brutally opening the bathroom door, Vergil stalked out and stopped in front of Cerberus. He glared at the dog for all he was worth, but the three-headed hound wasn't impressed.

"What's the matter?" Lady asked, slowly putting up her guns. It didn't seem like she'd need them for this situation, whatever it was.

Vergil fumed at the dog that had resumed chewing up the socks. Finally seeing that his glare wasn't working Vergil answered.

"He drank from the bowl."

At first his two companions didn't get what he meant. Then they realized that Cerberus had drunk from the toilet bowl and had probably frozen it over too. So when Vergil tried to use it …

"Ahahahaha!" Dante burst into hysterics. He was laughing so hard he was doubled over. Oh man, this was just too good to be true!

"Umm, bad doggy," Lady said but couldn't contain her giggling.

Seeing that he was getting zero sympathy from his companions, not that he was expecting any, Vergil marched back into the bathroom and slammed the door.

"Oh man, priceless!" Dante said and wiped a fake tear from his eye. Lady saw his face was red and it made her laugh some more.

When Vergil sulkily emerged from the bathroom, they were ready to go.

Lady was wearing her battle outfit complete with thigh holster, ammo holders, and guns. She looked vaguely uncomfortable without the familiar weight of Kalina Ann, but she didn't complain about it.

Dante had managed to save his brown leather pants and boots, still unzipped much to Vergil's annoyance. But hey, if he wanted to look like a slob and fall on his face again, that was Dante's problem, not his. However, much to his approval, Dante now wore a black and red muscle shirt. His red leather coat was beyond saving though. As always Rebellion was strapped to his back, and his twin handguns were in their holsters.

As for Vergil he had also managed to save his black leather pants and brown knee-length boots. But to his great horror his silk coat, his very expensive blue silk coat, had been reduced to ribbons. Thankfully his black silk shirt was also intact, as well as his matching cravat and leather vest. He wore the remains of his clothing sans the cravat and vest because it was too hot for them today.

He'd also combed his hair back, much like the way their father wore his. Since Vergil had no hair gel to put his locks in their usual style, it was either comb it back or leave it in the same messy mop Dante wore. Vergil felt he chose the lesser evil.

"Finally," Dante said as if Vergil had spent all morning in the bathroom. "You're done. Let's go!"

Lady made a noise that could be interpreted as assent. They both headed for the freight elevator.

"Wait."

They stopped and turned around to face Vergil. He hadn't moved from his spot near the couch.

"What?" Lady asked irritably. "Don't tell me they're not open yet!"

"They are," Vergil said after checking the wall clock. "Or at least, they will be when we arrive. But you can't go wearing that."

"Why not?" Dante said petulantly. Yes he wasn't exactly dressed like he wanted to, but who was Vergil, the fashion police? And wearing silk with leather? Puh-lease, if anyone should get arrested for a fashion faux pas, it should be him!

"You mean aside from you looking like that biker from the Village People and you," he said turning to Lady, "looking like a tomboy Catholic high school girl?"

"This coming from a vampire Goth wannabe," Lady scoffed.

Vergil scowled. He couldn't help it if the only clothing that survived the Demon Tower was all black! And his blood loss made him paler than usual. It wasn't like he was trying to be a Goth.

"I meant your weapons," he said with forced patience.

The two looked at him as if he were crazy. Vergil gave into temptation and rolled his eyes.

"It's not like I'm asking you to go topless," he said, "and in Dante's case, I'm making that an order."

"Like I have to listen to you," he said sullenly but crossed his arms over his chest self-consciously.

"The building where the occultists live is in a public area," Vergil explained. "I'd rather not have to explain to police officers why both of you are loaded for bear."

Seeing Vergil's logic they grudgingly stripped themselves of their weapons and returned in front of the elevator, feeling noticeably naked.

Nodding his approval Vergil entered the elevator. But when he did so a loud howl rent the air. All three started at the sound and turned back to the flat.

Cerberus was sitting there looking at them forlornly. His six eyes weren't glowing so brightly like before and all three heads were whining quite pathetically.

The trio exchanged a look.

"I guess he comes with us," Dante heaved a sigh and stepped back into his flat. He supposed it was a good idea anyway; there was no telling what kind of damage the hell hound could have wrought while they were gone.

Since he didn't have a leash, not to mention a leash for a three-headed dog, Dante made do by placing Cerberus in an old red backpack. The puppy just fit into it and was obligingly still when Dante slung him onto his back.

At long last they exited the shabby building and entered the streets. It looked as deserted and dirty as before, and they seemed to be the only ones present.

"I suppose they haven't moved back in yet," Lady said after several minutes of silence.

"I dunno," Dante shrugged. "Maybe they're still scared of the Tower. Then again most of the, uh, residents, around here don't come out till night time."

"Oh," she frowned and made a mental note to take a gun with her if she ever needed to leave his home in the middle of the night. Dante didn't have to say what kind of locals lived here; they were drug dealers, pimps, and thugs that preyed on anyone who looked like an easy target.

Vergil ignored their banter since he was busy leading them through the neighbourhood. He paid attention to the street signs though they didn't really help. However with a bit of luck and perseverance they finally arrived at their destination.

"Looks like a place a couple of occultists would live in," Dante said in a hushed voice. They stood in front of a tall two-story Victorian style building. It was made with dirty white planks of wood and had a dark gray gabled roof. A rusty iron weathervane was at the very peak. The small front yard was bare except for several hardy weeds growing in patches at random intervals.

"Yeah. They even have wards written on their door," Lady pointed to the strange symbols done in red on a yellow sign.

"Hey you two, are you coming or not?"

They turned around and saw that Vergil was standing in a bus. He was looking out the door with an impatient expression.

He internally rolled his eyes at their stupefied faces.

"The place we're going to is on the other side of town. I just took us to the bus stop first."

Dante and Lady looked back to the Victorian house and saw the front door open. A dark brown skinned man came out carrying a poster sign. It was promoting several foreign films for rent. The owner smiled at the dumbly staring pair before re-entering his shop.

"Come on, or I'm leaving without you," the bus driver said.

Dante and Lady entered.

Vergil had paid their fare already so all three sat in the rear of the vehicle. Dante sat down and gently set the backpack beside him. Lady sat on the other side of Cerberus.

Vergil took a place across from the occasionally moving bag. From his vantage point he saw Dante and Lady exchanging a loaded look.

'Pffft, don't tell me she's falling for his come ons!' Vergil snorted to himself. He thought Lady had much better taste in men than Dante of all people. In actually the two were silently agreeing never to mention the incident outside the bus. Ever.

The rest of the bus ride was held in silence. No direct eye contact was made.

As the bus traveled along its route the scenery changed from a dingy urban setting to a more commerce-oriented area. There were loads of small shops, a few malls, and business buildings.

Vergil kept his eye out for the cluster of buildings he was looking for. When he spotted the familiar sign he rang the bus' bell. It halted at the next bus stop and the trio of people, with one demon puppy, clambered out.

Dante and Lady looked around them. They seemed to have arrived in front of a strip mall that held several oriental restaurants, a karaoke bar, and a bowling alley. The duo looked at Vergil again to see if he was waiting for another bus to come along, but he was already halfway across the street.

Sharing peeved looks they followed the older Sparda twin.

"Hey Vergil, did you get bus transfers for us?" Dante asked.

"What for? We're here," he answered without bothering to look back. Purposefully he strode towards a lone building.

"Err, but it's a –"

"I know but that's only a front," Vergil cut Lady off. "They run a legitimate business to fund their arcane practices."

He went into the flat, completely plain looking cement building. It had bars across its front windows, but they doubted anyone would want to rob the place. There was nothing decorative about it, and Dante wondered how it attracted any customers at all.

'Oh wait, my mistake. There is one decoration on this dump,' he thought sarcastically.

Hanging above the barred door was a large sign that was lighted from the back. In multi-coloured bubble letters it read 'Tick-Tock Shop'. Below it was a cartoon rendition of an alarm clock, complete with a garishly smiling face.

"That is the … most retarded clock I have ever seen," Lady said bluntly.

Dante's quip was interrupted when Vergil's head stuck itself out the door and glared at them.

"We're coming," Dante sighed and both resignedly entered.

A/N: Ok, another chapter done! I'd like to mention a few things in case people were wondering.

1) When Cerberus froze the toilet bowl water, imagine trying to pee in it. That would almost be like having plastic wrap over the toilet seat. Can we say, "splash back"? LOL, you didn't think I'd only tease Dante, did you? ;)

2) I used the official DMC3 wallpapers to reference Dante, Vergil, and Lady's outfits. About Vergil's coat being silk … umm, yeah I couldn't tell if it was silk or leather, but on closer inspection I am inclined to think it is silk or some similar material. If it isn't (waves the creative license around).

3) I meant no offense against the Village People, Catholic high school girls, vampire imitators, or Goths. The three aren't really morning people, and they like to snip at each other anyway. See my last point below.

4) This chapter wasn't as funny as the last one in my opinion. But remember, our heroes and heroine aren't exactly chummy with each other to begin with. They all have issues to contend with, and I hope to deal with them as the story progresses. So not all chapters will be loaded with laughs, but I'll try not to make it too serious.

5) OK last one, for real. Please review if you like this story. :)