A/N: Tw main character death(s) (yes, it's already that part of the show I'm sorry in advance). If you're still reading after that last chapter I love you and I promise there are explanations for everything ! Thanks again for your comments and encouragement on this story - it really is appreciated and helps me write more! xoxo
Chapter 62:
Buffy and Saff were outside, a rare moment of peace where they could enjoy the sun after spending all morning practicing their empathy skills. Buffy was reading a book as Saffron shuffled her tarot cards with ease. The lazy Tuesday afternoon stretched before them as they relaxed on the grass, soaking up the sun. Buffy was talking about buying sun loungers for the sunny weather now they could see the light at the end of the tunnel of their debt. They might have some spare cash by the end of the year and Buffy was already planning how to spend it. Apparently, she got to make decisions, seeing as she was the oldest and all. Saffron rolled her eyes but didn't comment.
Buffy noticed she was still in her own head, missing Spike. But feeling guilty that she missed him, after what he did. Everything reminded her of him and Buffy could, unfortunately, feel every pining second of it. Saff had woken up to the light filtering into her room casting an unusual pattern with a shadow that looked suspiciously like the grim reaper. She wished she could tell Spike about it, despite everything. She couldn't stay with him after he had cheated on her but his absence was tearing her apart. She hadn't seen him since that night. She had walked through the graveyard a few times, hoping to torture herself by catching a glimpse of him. The one thing she did find unusual, however, was that he hadn't tried to convince her to take him back. She shrugged, trying to shake him from her mind. She never had quite managed to do that though.
She continued shuffling, there was a strange feeling. Something felt wrong, as if something was blocking out the sun. She took a card at random from her pack, flipping it up. Death. First the grim reaper, now the Death card? She was shit out of luck today.
A brief chill ran over her, as if someone was walking over her grave. Then she went completely freezing cold, but the feeling felt as if it was burning her. The only time she ever felt like this was with…
Tara.
The voice was about to tell her the meaning behind the card she had drawn but she was distracted by the back gate slamming open with Warren storming into their garden, brandishing a gun.
Shit, someone was going to die. Why did the stupid cards decide to be so literal when she had no time to change anything?
"You girls are going to have to come with me" He glared, gesturing them to walk in front of him with the gun. They both raised their eyebrows, crossing their arms almost in-sync.
"Try: No" Saff rolled her eyes, but the cold feeling had frozen her to the spot. He shakily pointed the gun at Saffron, "I don't think you're allowed to shoot me, dickhead, unless you want to be on the wrong end of one of Dr. Evil's temper tantrums"
"Stupid bitch!" Warren sulked, flailing his arms out in annoyance as he realised what she said was right, "Do you not see that He is the eye? That anything else is a fucking imitation in comparison!" She could feel that he was mad as he spoke. He hated her. Really hated her. Unlike the other two he had joined forces with, he really did buy into Oleander's teachings. Gross.
"I'm not here to kill you, that is for Him. It's the Slayer that must die. You took one of ours and without your protection, O Leander may take his righteous adversary until the night of the full moon" Warren said as if he was reciting it, before thinking and adding his own personal response, "Oh and, uh, a-fuck you!"
"Yeah, because that's gonna happen" Buffy put her hands on her hips, she was all too ready to beat Warren up.
"Do you hear yourself? Granted, you're a freak that makes sex-robots, but killing people? This isn't you" Saffron spoke softly as he slowly turned to her. He started to listen and Saff could feel her calming influence doing him some good. She was allowing him to see the truth. The real one. He was now questioning why he was doing Oleander's bidding. He started lowering the gun as Buffy moved to kick it out of his hand. It remained in his hand but shot off and hit against something, leading the bullet to crash through the upstairs window.
A scream rang out and Saffron dropped to her knees, her legs had buckled.
She felt ice-cold.
Numb.
She knew what had happened. She knew what that cold feeling had meant.
She jolted in shock, everything around her went in slow motion as she struggled to get to her feet. The shot seemed to have snapped him out of his soul-searching. Warren turned the gun on Buffy and shot her in the chest before running off. Xander ran out from inside, to Buffy's side. Saffron fumbled with her cell, calling 911. She held Buff's hand while she spoke to the operator, telling her cousin to hang on. Buffy nodded and gestured, knowing somehow Saff needed to go upstairs. She ran off, knowing what she would find. Willow was stood, her white top covered in blood. Tara's blood.
Saffron tried to comfort her friend, bring her away from staring at her dead lover. Saffron was desperately sad and couldn't look at her friend. But she could feel that Willow was feeling it a hundred times worse. Willow pushed her out of the way, stormed down the stairs and slammed the door behind her. Saffron followed her, faltering after covering Tara's body with a white sheet that was on the bed. She choked on a sob, willing herself to carry on for the others. The ambulance came and this distracted her, Saff needed to go with her cousin to the hospital, she was losing consciousness. She shouted to Xander to get another medic for Tara, just in case as she jumped into the back of the ambulance.
It was late evening now and Saffron was helping Buffy walk to Xander's car after she had been discharged, everybody was feeling the grief of losing Tara. It hurt. It really fucking hurt to lose her. Someone who knew this more than anyone was making light work of tracking down the one man that needed to pay. Her hair was so black the colour deserved a new name to reflect just how black it was. It was night and Willow was stalking down the street towards where she had done a tracking spell to find the three boys.
"Lee?" Willow said into the darkness, stopping abruptly. She could sense him.
"Will! It's been the longest time. Love the new 'do" Oleander said, surprised she knew he was there. He stepped out of the shadows and held her shoulders firmly in place and slowly pecked each cheek in greeting.
"You! You sent him!" Willow exploded, moving him back from touching her with her power.
"Actually, sweet, he did some thinking of his own. Dangerous really, but accidents happen and they are about to happen once again when I fall and accidentally rip the heart from his chest"
"No. It-it was you!"
"It really wasn't me, darling. Guns just aren't my style and using one against the Slayer? Why would I do that when I could have squeezed the air out of her lungs, watched the light in her eyes fade all while her cousin watches on" His eyes almost rolled back in his skull at the idea. This had actually been his plan, to kill the Slayer in front of saffron, knowing how well she dealt with grief.
But maybe this would do. Two for the price of one, he could get rid of his stupid follower Warren and Saffron would be grieving over another member of her stupid little friend group. Maybe he could even encourage the witch to join him, he decided, painting a sombre look on his face as he continued, "Our dear Saffron felt it coming. She knew poor, sweet Tara was going to die, she has since she first met her. Did your delightful lover tell you about the feeling between them? The one that would bring a shiver to even my spine?"
"She… she said she could feel a strange cold-ness, but n-nothing else"
"Suddenly I saw the cold and rook-delighting heaven; That seemed as though ice burned and was but the more ice… if I figured it out, then she did too. We are 'equals' after all" He used air-quotes as he said equals, rolling his eyes as he continued, "Our little kitten got the cream and didn't see the need to share… she knew Tara would die and she let it happen. Rather your girl than her precious Spike…"
"Bitch" Willow muttered, as Oleander wiped away the tears from her cheek and nodded his agreement at her sentiment. Willow leaned into the hand that was cupping her cheek, her eyes closed.
"I have an idea" Ollie smiled, glad she was responding so well to his contact despite the amount of power this woman had. Her grief was delicious on her and whispered softly into her ear. She nodded, her eyes snapping open and they were completely black.
Oleander allowed Willow her revenge. She killed Warren, flayed him and turned him inside out. Ollie enjoyed the flair, this girl had promise. The pain Warren felt before he died was more delectable than he had ever felt. Betrayal, loss of faith and a whole lot of pain. Oleander licked his lips. He was almost salivating at what he was feeling, catching the bug and wishing he had someone at hand to try it himself. But not the Wicca, no, he would need her.
Their deal was that she could kill Warren, take her revenge as long as he got to watch and as long as she joins him. The girl agreed, no question. She wanted the world to burn. He said he could help with that, just so long as she also set up a little catch-up with her good friend Saffron.
xoxoxo
Willow's hair surprised Saffron, but she wasn't one to judge. The colour black was often worn after the death of a loved one, it just wasn't so much dyed into your hair. But, again, it was at least a better coping mechanism than drinking herself to death. Or using magic again.
"Should we walk?" Willow asked, her voice emotionless as she gestured for Saffron to follow her. They walked for a long time in silence, Saffron able to feel anger and grief from her friend. She understood. She was all too familiar with the unsettling mixture of emotions in her chest.
They came to a forest, one she didn't realise was in Sunnydale. Maybe they had walked for a really long time and she just hadn't noticed? Saffron shrugged, following Willow who seemed to know the forest like the back of her hand. Saffron paused, leaning against a tree to light up a cigarette. She rubbed the worn metal with her thumb, closing her eyes and wishing she still had Spike with her. He liked Tara too and they would have been there for each other through this grief. She flicked the side to light up, but the flame wouldn't ignite. She kept cursing under her breath at the lighter, unable to throw it in anger. It was from him.
She had lost her best friend because there was a crazed cult after her, lost someone she had thought was the love of her life and worst of all, she couldn't get her stupid fucking cigarette to light up. She hit it against her palm, the filter in her mouth but it wouldn't spark. Willow whipped around, her eyes darkening and her pupils wide as she just looked at the end of the cigarette and it lit up by itself. Saff's eyes widened, as she met her friend's eyes. She frowned, as Willow's eyes bore into hers, fully black. This wasn't good.
"Hey, you're okay. I know the temptation's hard, but it'll get easier again" She tried to comfort her friend, putting a hand on her shoulder but Willow shrugged her off.
"Let's walk further" She said, walking past Saff and going off the path. If this was what Willow needed, she was happy to accompany her while she cleared her head and stayed away from the magics. The only thing was, she didn't appear to feel any better the anger and pain was so strong.
"I feel like I should be leaving breadcrumbs behind us" Saffron aimed for humour, but she was just sad. She stubbed out her cigarette and walked on. The forest was tightly packed with trees and Saffron felt an uneasy feeling from the breeze that whipped her face. But, if it would make her friend feel better, she would carry on walking.
Shit. Saffron stumbled over a root sticking out of the ground, an eerie feeling as she looked up to see a clearing ahead. It was all very familiar. She knew this place and nothing good ever came at the end of it. She followed Willow into the clearing, aware she was probably signing her fate.
Willow's intentions weren't good, something that had been masked before in her anger and grief. Willow's pupils were blown and her hair was black. How come she hadn't caught on before? It was like the vision her mother showed her. Fuck sake.
They entered the clearing, the light from the full moon shining down on them, lighting up the clearing as a spotlight on a stage. Fitting, considering she was about to engage in a movie-style showdown. They walked together in the middle of the clearing. Willow turned to face her.
"Here kitty kitty" A voice called, bouncing off the trees. Oleander. Great.
"Will, what's going on babe?"
"You let her die!" angry tears collected in Willow's eyes.
"There was nothing I could do! It was Warren, he had a gun!"
"You knew since the moment you saw her. The cold feeling. You let her die"
"Will, no! I would never-"
"She's lying" Oleander's sing-song voice echoed around them. Oleander's followers lined the trees in a circle around the clearing. Two of his followers locked their hands together, fashioning a chair that he was sat on as they brought him in front of the two girls in the centre of the clearing.
"Don't say I never put on a show for you, sweetheart"
"Honestly, it's only a show if you have a willing audience. I don't give a shit about your theatrics"
"Do you not see my devoted followers lining the trees as they line my heart?" Oleander said, faux-pouting and clutching his heart dramatically.
"You're heartless" She replied.
"And you're surrounded" Oleander quipped, amused that she still had any fight left in her. She was unprepared, with no way to fight back and her best friend was about to help with the ritual.
"Vanished, and left but memories, that should be out of season; With the hot blood of youth, of love crossed long ago;" He pointed to Willow and then up to heaven, as if at Tara. Willow choked on a sob as she felt it. Felt that Saffron recognised it. Oleander was only letting her feel the emotions from her he wanted her to.
"And I took all the blame out of all sense and reason, Until I cried and trembled and rocked to and fro" The order recited, their hands over their eyes as they started to move back and forth themselves. As poems go, Saffron was annoyed at how literally she could take lines from this stupid thing and apply it to her own life.
"…Riddled with light. Ah! when the ghost begins to quicken, Confusion of the death-bed over" Saffron replied slowly, from memory. This wasn't good. She looked around at the lit-up faces of the Order who wouldn't take their eyes off her. She was already riddled with light, everything had moved so quickly since Tara had died, she wasn't ever going to feel that cold feeling again. Her friend was gone and now Willow hated her. Because the poem only made sense in this moment.
"You have to pay" Willow shouted, shaking with rage, "The world has to pay, Saffy" Willow said, her face had gone pale, thick purple veins were popping up and spanning most of her face.
"Will, don't! T wouldn't… Tara wouldn't want you to do this"
"Don't say her name!" Everyone screamed at the same time, Willow's power uniting the Order in a way that even Oleander hadn't been able to do before. Saffron winced, the grief was enough to send her into one of her infamous black-outs. But something was stopping her. Willow stared, hard. She wanted her awake.
The ground started to move beneath them, cracking and ripping as Oleander put a hand on Willow's shoulder. He was calming her down, but why? He whispered in her ear, she could tell he was excited as he looked up at the full moon.
Saffron was thrown into the air. She was lying back, levitating as she was flung high in the air. It was as if time had stopped. Saffron had to stop herself screaming and Ollie felt it. Oleander clapped, appreciating Willow's flair. He moved to flick on the portable player, having selected the perfect piece of music for this scene.
Mahler's 9th Symphony. The Dance of Death.
She was high above the forest now and then she wasn't. Willow stopped the spell and she dropped from the height. Everything hurt, she heard a crack that could have been any number of her bones. She was in pain and Willow and Oleander were smiling over her. In the distance, Saffron could hear the Order chanting around them, of their own volition this time.
Saffron rolled onto her front, trying to haul herself up, but Willow used her magic to keep her down. She was struggling, like an insect in a jar. Oleander knelt next to where she was struggling and poked the middle of her forehead, mocking her. His smile was cruel yet amused. He wished that he could keep and toy with her for a while. But the witch was running on pure rage and so, they would need to put a rush on ending the world as they knew it. Saff started to try to influence the pair as Oleander got up, dusting his hands off. They were too strong together. She was exhausted from trying and her joints felt as if they were about to be ripped from her body.
Oleander spoke some words, words that she was unable to hear as all she could focus on was the pain. It didn't matter now, it was over.
Oleander balled her hair in his fist, pulling her to stand. Willow stared at her friend, her friend that she now hated. This bitch might as well have killed her girlfriend.
"Open your eyes" Oleander hissed, and Saff opened them slowly, not realising that she had closed them. Her eyes locked with Willow's and suddenly her vision was taken from her, replaced with more searing pain. This time, solely from her eyes. Thick red liquid poured from her sockets, what Saff couldn't see was Willow and Oleander combining their forces to swiftly gouge Saffron's eyes out as Oleander collected her blood from the sockets.
She was shouting random words from the scrap of paper but could barely remember save from a few words. Plus, opening her mouth meant it was filling with blood. A strangely familiar taste. Her voice garbled as her own blood down her face, into her mouth. She was swallowing the thick liquid, trying to breath. Trying to speak. She couldn't reach her hands to her eyes as she was still being held in place. All the while, Oleander was taunting her, whispering almost intimately into her ear as she thrashed in agony. Her final breath wasn't a peaceful one, but it was never going to be. Her shadow-self had won, she was no more. She felt the essence leave her body, making the man next to her stronger. Then all that was left was her limp body.
Saffron suddenly woke, gasping for air. She clutched her eyes, the residual pain still hammering through her head. The back of her eyes were hurting like hell and she knew she was probably back in her familiar coffin, keeping the maggots company. Rather than the familiar darkness, however, her eyes flew open, still blurry from sleep. She realised that she was in her room, at home and lying on her side. The sheets had been kicked off the bed and she was slicked with sweat.
The light filtered through the room, creating an unusual pattern as it had the morning she woke up on the day that Warren shot-
"Go!" A voice interrupted her groggy thought as she squinted realising it was identical, the same pattern… only in a different place. The sun was higher in the sky. It was Tuesday again. Tuesday afternoon. She flew out of bed, sprinting up two flights of steps to the room that used to be her aunty's.
xoxoxo
"Get away from there!" She screamed desperately, pushing the door so forcefully it came off one of its hinges. Saffron entered Tara and Willow's room without knocking and only wearing Spike's red shirt and tiny shorts. She opened all the blinds, except one, not fazed by the fact that Willow and Tara had been getting dressed, distracting each other by landing kisses on each other when the other wasn't looking.
"Get away from the windows!" Saffron screamed as Tara pulled her top on, her back to the window. She stared at Saffron, open-mouthed at the intrusion and that she had been caught in Willow's room.
"Now!" Saffron screamed desperately, pulling her friend by the arm to stand next to the redhead, out of the way of the window. As soon as they realised she was serious, they stayed where she pushed them near the doorframe, ready to leave if they had to. Saff slowly edged to the last window, standing flat against the wall, pulling the blinds open a fraction so she could see what was going on. Warren wasn't there. Buffy was training and Xander had volunteered as punching bag.
Weird, that wasn't happening before. Buffy was reading and she was with her. Shit, had she been wrong? She exhaled, it must have just been another violent dream.
"Saffy, what's the big?" Willow asked, looping an arm around Tara's waist. The girls were happy after their night together and knew they would always have Saff's blessing. Saff opened her mouth to explain her dream, how real it had felt, but she didn't get chance. There was shouting in the garden and then a shot rang out. The bullet crashed through the window and went through Saff's shoulder as she had now moved, with her back to the window to explain to the girls. Ow! Fuck!
Saffron's eyes widened, her blood splattering the plain white bedsheets in front of her as her hand reached to the wound that was pouring with blood. How many more ways was she going to be seriously hurt or killed? It was turning into a joke. A really painful joke. The room went cold. Tara could feel it as she did. Their eyes connected as she fell to the floor at the impact of the bullet. It was bone-chilling but there was a sickening familiarity to it. Tara's knees buckled as Saffron sunk to her knees at the same time.
Spike's red shirt that she had been guiltily sleeping in ever since she had disappeared him now had a gun shot hole straight through and was covered in her blood. Even through the blinding pain, she managed to think about how pissed he was going to be when he found out another of his favourite shirts had been damaged. Willow had run over to her, holding her up. Tara moved slowly from her position on the floor to check out of the window at what had gone on, holding her shoulder in the same place that Saffron had been shot. As she started to walk towards the Saffron grabbed her sleeve and pulled her down to kneel next to her.
"Don't. Go. Near. The. Fucking. Window" Saffron bit through the pain, a tight grip on Tara's sleeve. Another gunshot rang out which made the witches jump, but Saff knew it was coming. Willow was holding her head up, tears in her eyes as if she knew what she had done for them, "And you-you need to call an ambulance or I'm going straight for another term in-"
"Hell" Saffron muttered as she woke up. She tried to sit up but her shoulder complained even more, sending searing pain through her entire body. Fuck, that hurts. She was in an all too familiar place to her, attached to tubes and a drip.
The last time she was in a hospital bed, she had been visited each night by Spike. He had slipped in after Buffy and the others left. Sometimes they did the girly quizzes in the magazines together for a laugh, determining what kind of lip gloss they were or which celebrity was their perfect match. They played games such as who can throw the most grapes and catch them in their mouths. She had been at a disadvantage, what with the broken arm and ribs but he just told her she was making excuses. They listened to the punk mix he had made for her birthday, they always sang along to the track Ever Fallen in Love.
Spike had told her later that it had been a huge hint that had apparently gone over her head, which she always replied by saying maybe she had felt the same but was too afraid to admit the song held such significance. The nurses would come in and tell them to be quiet and surprisingly Spike would bite his tongue, not willing to get himself kicked out to leave her side. He had held her hand when he thought she was asleep, only telling her after the fact, watching over her until the sun would come up. God, she missed him. She stupidly wished he was here now, her love for him would never go away, despite it all; but he was nowhere to be seen.
She turned, realising everyone was crowding around her bed. Including Giles. Her eyes widened, she was so pleased to see him. She turned to see Buffy. Her eyes widened further as she saw a wound slowly closing on her chest, trying again to get into a sitting position.
"She's awake!" Willow cried and everyone stood, hopeful smiles on their faces and worried looks as they saw how much pain she was in. Saff started to pull off the wires she was attached to, wincing at the scratch she felt when she pulled the needle out of her arm although that was nothing compared to the literal hole in her shoulder that had now been stitched up after a worryingly long surgery the others had to sit around and wait for. Tara and Willow calmed her down, Tara whispering something that sounded like a spell to calm her down.
"Stop struggling, Saff. You're not a Slayer, you can't just jump out of bed" Buffy said anxiously.
"You shouldn't really have made with the jumping out of bed either Buff" Xander said, worried about both of his friends.
"Yeah, Slayer or not that looks painful" Saff gestured with her head at her cousin's chest, wincing as Tara and Willow helped her to sit up.
"I'm mature-girl, I can handle it" Buffy replied, a tight smile on her lips. Saff appreciated her cousin's stab at humour, despite the joke being beyond old at this point, realising Buffy had done it knowing it would put her in a better mood. She was getting good at understanding the emotions she was feeling. Saff always joked at hard moments, so Buff had tried her best to do it for her.
"I'm glad you're okay" Dawn said, all but shoving the witches out of the way so that she could hold her cousin's hand. Saff smiled, which turned into a grimace at her pain. Her shoulder wasn't going to heal any time soon. She got extra strength, surely super-healing wasn't too much to ask for as well?
Saff explained slowly about what would have happened. What she had seen, avoiding some of the more gory details to save her friends from what she had just been through.
"Uh, how did you know?"
"Yeah and why didn't I get a heads up?"
"Because I knew you were going to live, Buff. Tara-Tara would have died" Saff had to do everything in her power to stop her from sobbing at the memory. How fresh the grief still was in the back of her mind. To her, Tara had really died and it had hurt. It hadn't been a dream - she had lived it.
Looking over at her friend though, she smiled, she was really still here. Tara was shocked at her revelation, eyes wide as were Willow's. They were so grateful to their friend. After some prompting that it may be of help by Giles and Willow, she explained the full dream, from start to finish. Evil Willow, Oleander, all of it. It had been horrible and she was so glad that wasn't the path they were stuck on.
Finally, the powers had allowed her enough time to make a true difference even if it meant she had been shot for the trouble. She almost found herself silently thanking them. She didn't, of course, but she was very close. Everyone was speechless by the end of her story, but the witches even more so.
Later on, as everyone turned to leave, she was overwhelmed by the feeling of gratitude and love from the room. She didn't know why she felt it in such concentration, it was what anyone would do. She said goodbye and promised she wouldn't die before she saw them again. Buffy stroked her hair and vowed to find Warren before the day's end. With Dawn insisting she would help, both promising to come visit her during what was expected to be a long stint in the hospital.
The only one left in the room with her was Giles. He sat silently, knowing exactly what she was going to say when she turned to him.
"And where the fuck have you been?!"
"Ah, yes, well, Buffy finally stopped avoiding my phone calls and actually explained the situation and I, ah, decided it was time I stepped in and, well, actually stood by your side throughout all of this"
"You've been good to me G… Well, actually more: good to me, kind of a nobhead then good to me again…" She smiled but winced slightly at the pain as she tried to adjust herself in bed.
"Yes and, ah, you have been a pain in my side, unwilling to listen to me and now you're still maintaining ignorance as to how your relationship with alcohol and, ah Spike has affected your progress"
"If this is your bedside manner, G, I'd look into getting a healthy personality transplant" she grinned as his mouth twitched and he started to shake his head at the girl. He simultaneously despaired at and was fond at how she appeared to not take anything seriously.
"I was worried about you, Saffron. When I arrived I immediately heard about the shooting… I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that you were sure that Tara would have died. You sacrificed yourself again for the good of another"
"This is actually, technically, the first on-purpose time I've sacrificed myself, but I'll take any praise from you I can get- bloody gold dust around these parts! I mean Buffy, Buffy gets a compliment-a-minute, you're the fucking president of the Buffy the Slayer fanclub-"
"Saffron, I gave you a harder time because it was what you needed, or, ah, what I believed you needed. I believed I was holding you back, you relied on me too much – you both did – so I thought it best to give you your space"
"You decided to be part of my test then? Leave her to her own devices so she could face the true-sight test alone? To be fair, pretty sure I've aced the test – even got extra credit in the form of being allowed to save Tara" She smiled faintly, shaking her head at what her life had become. She had never stood a chance.
Her life appeared to be one long list of horrible situations that she had to endure. If she let herself think about it, there was very little to be grateful for. To get up in the morning for. Everything was piling up. But this one good, this one tiny piece of goodness was all she could hold onto. Her friend had survived.
"I am proud of you, Saffron. You are worthy of the title of the true sight, you always have been, but when I look at you now I see that you are a strong, determined young woman who deserves to not only survive everything that she has been through, but to live. You will overcome this foe, and you will live. I have every faith in you, I just wish that you would have the same belief in yourself"
"Ah, don't make me cry, G! I'm all hopped up on meds – it's hayfever – don't tell the others I cried!" She mumbled into his shoulder as he leaned over to hug her warmly. Her words made him chuckle as they parted. They spoke for a while, catching up on the mundane things rather than the prophecies or the danger that was usually weighing on them.
When Giles left, Tara slipped back into the room. Tara pressed the healing stone into her friend's hand. She didn't know what to say, tears streamed from her eyes. She couldn't stop thanking her and Saff appeared more than a little bashful, she would have taken Tara's place every time she was given the option. It was as obvious to her as it was that They were both so emotional they didn't realise that there was no longer the usual cold jolt between them when their hands touched.
Tara did the spell, one of the most intricate she had attempted, hoping that it meant Saff's wound should heal in record time. Saffron joked her name was about to be noted in a medical journal next to Buffy's as a medical miracle that doctors would be studying for years to come. They spoke for a long time, well Saff did, Tara was unsure how to vocalise just how thankful she was to her friend. Saffron told her that she was her best friend and that she would do it again as Tara squeezed her hand, tears gleaming in her eye as she left her friend for much needed rest.
xoxoxo
Saffron walked slowly, hugging her arm as she went to answer the door at her home. Her shoulder was hurting still, but she had the stone in her pocket and she had pain medication, so she was okay really (or so she insisted). She just missed the comfort that she was lacking from a certain blonde vamp-
No, he cheated. You don't want him back. Yes you do, she battled with herself.
She slowly opened the door but nobody was stood there. She looked down to find a gift on her doorstep. Her heart quickened, could it be from Spike? Had he heard that she had been shot? Was it an apology? She was angry with him, what he had done was unforgiveable, but she couldn't help wishing she had heard at least something from him.
It was a well wrapped light blue box. A white ribbon was delicately tied in a neat bow on the top. There was a card that read 'Get well soon x'. The scrawl could have been Spike's she decided, if he had written it in a hurry with his other hand. She took the box inside, surprised at how light it felt as she picked it up. She set it on the kitchen counter as Dawn walked in. She was going to make pancakes, but got distracted by Saffron's gift.
"Oo, pressies!"
"Yeah, it's light though so I'm guessing it's cheap" Saffron shrugged, pulling on the bow. Dawn turned to grab orange juice from the fridge, gesturing if Saff wanted one. She nodded distractedly as she tried to prise open the box one-handed.
"The box looks expensive" Dawn continued speaking her thoughts out loud, as she poured out two glasses, "Does it have a card?" Dawn asked as Saff nodded and handed the small rectangle to her after Dawn set down Saff's glass of juice in front of her, next to the box.
Dawn read it, not being able to work out who it could be from and set it down, excitedly watching as Saff pulled the lid from the box. The girls looked confused, shocked and then horrified at the contents of the giftbox. They looked at each other and then back inside the box.
"Fucking bastard!" Saffron shouted. Snatching up the pink glittery collar that had once been around Angelina's neck.
"Does that mean- is she-" Dawn was horrified, she couldn't stop staring at the collar in Saff's hand.
"I'm gonna fucking find out!"
"No - you can't! You can't go alone!" Dawn pleaded, trying to pull Saff's arm back making her older cousin wince as she grabbed her injured shoulder. Dawn quickly let go, meaning Saffron was able to move from her hand and explain.
"I'm not going near that jumped up, corrupted fucking gremlin! I'm using the handy fucking phone line in our head!" She explained through gritted teeth, trying to keep a level head. Dawn nodded, allowing her to run downstairs. Saff slammed the door shut and sat cross-legged on her bed, clutching the object tightly. Closing her eyes, she called him. Screamed at him to face her and he happily obliged. He had been waiting, after all. She was pulled from her room into an all-black space, she couldn't see where the floor or walls were, if there even were any. Oleander appeared, smirking, in front of her.
"Hello there, kitten… oops, maybe that was the wrong pet name…" He cackled, "Tasted anything nice recently, darling? I hear blood does wonders for a vegetarian's iron-deficiency" his voice almost pleasant, but she knew better. Saffron didn't dwell so much on the content of his words other than they were designed to hurt her. She decided he must be manipulating her dreams rather than anything more sinister, such as her having turned into a vampire and terrorising LA. His face dropped a little at her lack of guilt and self-hatred.
"Where is she?!" She screamed at the man before her. Interesting. She's more bothered about the cat than her little self-made massacre.
"Well, I thought you may like a token… a little something for the memories. Don't tell me I'm not good to you, kitten" His voice was silky smooth, performed with such painstaking accuracy that she felt as though she were watching a play, "You seem the type that has a keep-sake box that you cry over every month or so" he continued callously as she stared, an anger now rising. Filling her body. Blood boiling at a rising temperature. Bones stewing.
"You better not have fucking killed my cat! What did she ever do to you?!"
"Brought you joy?" He offered rolling his eyes, as if it was obvious. Toying with her was so entertaining, her little heart got broken over and over and she just let it happen. It was too much fun. She went to punch him with all the strength she could muster but her fist just went through him. She had forgotten they weren't actually together in physicality. He chuckled, she felt his amusement and it sickened her which only fuelled his enjoyment.
They were stood almost toe-to-toe now. The intimacy may be mistaken for that of passionate lovers if Saffron's face was not the picture of hatred.
"Did you know there was a hole in your shoulder, sweetheart?" He asked, moving as if to poke it, "Did you think I'd let you die by a gunshot wound like you're a throw-away character in a procedural crime drama? No, that just wouldn't do" He smiled, saccharine sweetly as if he was waiting for her to thank him. She attempted to push his hand away despite their lack of corporeality, she was all but shaking with anger.
"What I owe you my life now?"
"You always did" He stretched his neck, moving his head slowly to the left and then the right before turning to look her over, "You're my antagonist, darling, you can't die by something so… pedestrian."
"Get off your high horse, you stupid fucking parasite!"
"Pretty emotion, anger is. Doesn't change a thing though. All alone, she tried to make it in the cold harsh world..." He mocked, pretending to wipe away a tear with a glint in his eye as he asked, "Where's our sexy vampire boyfriend at, darling?"
"Don't"
"You can't call time-out, this isn't recess" He laughed cruelly, "A beauty with no beast… or is that a beast with no beauty?" He pondered then clicked his fingers.
The once black room now filled with light. The walls were running a picture, as if there was a cinema projector that could fill the entire circular room. The reels sounded as if it really were a cinema and moving pictures surrounded them.
Saffron stared at the scene, it looked as if someone had enjoyed splicing together the reels. There were special effects between each transition. They had chosen to film it in black and white and Saffron squinted, unsure if it was an artistic choice or they were just cheap with the filming equipment they had bought. However, she no longer cared about their filming techniques when the film got to the central theme.
Oleander winked at the camera as he placed it between her bookcase in a room that was bare and peeling with water damage. It then moved to the three boys placing cameras around other key areas that Saffron frequented. The boys walked out of the graveyard, quick to avoid meeting up with the vampire they were going to be spying on, talking excitedly about catching sight of Saffron and Spike together.
The scene transitioned again to show the three nerds setting up the video for Willow to find, having doctored the scene with a little help from Oleander. They had used movements that Saffron and Spike had done in their most intimate moments to make it hurt more. A zoomed-in flash of Saffron's pained face when she saw the video was cut between more scenes.
It then showed the original tape and what they had filmed over their doctored tape, switching between an empty scene where there was only a desk with fliers on top before flashing to a desk with the fake-Spike fucking fake-Anya on top of the fliers.
The scene then transitioned into Oleander mercilessly beating Warren to the floor until he lay, unmoving. He was dead. The order members clapped and prayed to the man before they came to the front to take his still warm corpse to the furnace.
The credits rolled and Saff watched open-mouthed. Her eyes would have been sprained from the amount of eye-rolls she would have dished out, if she hadn't been so shocked at how easily she had been manipulated.
Fin.
Produced by: True Eye Entertainment Inc.
Directed by: Warren Mears
Chief Editor: Jonathan Levinson
Chief chief editor: Andrew Wells
Special thanks to: O! Leander, the True Eye and our savior. Saffron Page, the traitor, for being a gullible idiot. Spike and Anya for being so hot and fun to replicate. An honorable mention to the Slayer for walking around the house in just her underwear when nobody was home.
In memory of Warren Mears.
"Oh, I could kill them for the credits, that was of course if I knew where the little maggots had fucked off to" Oleander spoke casually but she could feel his usual rage simmering under his skin, "For their sakes, they had better hope they're further than Mexico"
But Saffron didn't care for the small-talk. She was thinking of Spike. Only Spike. What had she done? She said horrible, untrue, cruel things.
"Where is he!?" She shouted, his absence now sickening her.
"Didn't you… disappear him?" He raised an eyebrow, "Hell hath no fury like an Empath scorned" He chuckled, fading away from the room he had constructed for them.
Then it was just Anya and Spike shagging on loop as Saffron was on her knees, tears in her eyes. She had got it all so wrong.
xoxoxo
The evening rolled in and Oleander's revelation was fresh on her mind along with the rest. Saff's mood wasn't even understandable to herself, let alone Buffy. A lot had happened recently and she was still trying to shift through her thoughts. She couldn't help feeling a little defeated in some sense as she entered the front door of Revello which was where everyone was working on research and prophecies.
"Where have you been?"
"Just been at Anya's…" She tried for breezy and cool but she sounded sad as she spoke. She also avoided mentioning the stops she had made on the way back home.
"Why would you go to see her?" Xander looked up as if she had betrayed him in some way. Saff rolled her eyes, she didn't know what to say to him. Luckily, she didn't have to. Giles interrupted and pressed a book into her hands as she tried to pretend to look enthusiastic.
"It is a notebook. Of a translation of a rare-"
"Oh, G! Did Buffy tell you that we've been doing some serious empath-of-the-good training?!" Saff's face lit up if only slightly, hoping for a little praise that they had actually listened to something he had said. It only took a thousand repetitions of the same phrase for it to work.
"We could all benefit if you weren't so distracted all of the-" He took his glasses off, cleaning them before stopping mid-sentence and smiling, "Did you say you had been practicing? And Buffy as well?"
"Guilty" Buffy beamed over at him. Somehow, perhaps with Giles' return, she felt a weight lift slightly from her shoulders.
Her explaining to Giles that "Buff's been teaching me how to block Ollie, she's actually alright at the teaching stuff. I'd buy her an apple if I cared enough"
"I have been working on this. It is a sort of account of what will come in the final days. Here, I have several copies" He handed her some paper, "White hot fire shall pour. The blood of the ocular shall be the catalyst that opens-"
"Funny how I had to figure out what he wanted with my eyes the hard way, right? My left eye still aches from that all too realistic vision," She smiled at her accidental pun and looked to Giles who tried very hard not to smile at her and keep her on task.
"Ahem, you are, ah, interrupting again, Saffron – you really do need to listen"
"The blood of the ocular shall be the catalyst that rips open the fabric of this mortal plain and elevate the being worthy of this sight. If the sight does not hold the, ah, I can only assume it is 'faith' or something in this vein, with both hands, the world shall be torn."
"I've seen it" She said softly. Well, she had seen bodies in the streets. A wasteland that would put any Hollywood apocalypse film to shame – in that vision her mother showed her.
"All it appears to say is that this place shall become one with no mercy nor hope. The wrong person will allow the Hellmouth to open where beast shall roam day and night and man will stand no chance against them." Giles paused to gauge her reaction. Of course, just as she felt the end closing in, he would somehow find a foretelling of the events that actually meant something. Got it, white hot fire and red tears and it's go time.
"And you thought better than to mention it way back when?" She laughed, although it wasn't filling her full of confidence.
"Ah, it was severely charred, I have only just managed to restore it and it took even longer to translate" He gave her a pointed look over his glasses. She was the one that had charred it when she burned everything. It could have helped her sooner and it had been in that stupid box.
"Fuck"
After this exchange, thinking and researching and clinging on to that last shred of hope was all she was doing for the rest of that day.
Until a very rare thing happened. She thought of something. A kind of… plan. She shuddered, this truly was unnatural behaviour. Planning ahead. Trying to prepare herself for the fight. Perhaps if she had a way of making these things happen, the heat and the time stopping. The words she had to say at the right moment – she could orchestrate it so that she had the upper hand. She had been blocking him from her mind, able to consciously do this in the last week thanks to Buffy's help and she hoped that he couldn't tell what she was going to do.
Saff went for a cigarette as she thought about this idea. She knew there was only one person she could confide in. She didn't want to have to risk everyone's lives for her own. When Oleander was involved, she had a feeling there would be no survivors.
She had walked back into the room she had been in to find her friends kissing. Tara and Willow. Her heart swelled with for them happiness, despite the loss of her own love. They could be happy. They could explore their love. It was just them and they sprung apart kind of bashfully when they realised they had company. The rest of the house was out on some kind of trip. Some collecting more books and others just needed a break from the house.
Saff didn't know for sure but she had a sense that people were trying their best to hide their happiness from her. Even the smallest hint of it - as if they were guilty when everything was stacking up against her. This was almost confirmed in her mind when Tara muttered something about finding Dawn on her walk around the neighbourhood and left her alone with Willow. The very person she needed to talk to.
"The best part of you two being alive is seeing you making the most out of living. If G's telling me I'm gonna live it'll be a piece of cake. He doesn't go in for the false sense of security deal" Saffron said, although Willow could sense the way she faltered. She was concerned that Giles was saying this, giving her this faith, telling her how proud he was because it may be his last chance to give her this kind of validation. Rather than him actually being sure.
"I have this idea but it requires someone very powerful…" Saff's guilt for even asking had to be pushed down. She was desperate, and she didn't consciously form plans very often – she wasn't sure if another one would come along in her mind fast enough before he had to face him. She had found this book, with this powerful spell that she hoped could work.
"Anything, Saffy. You saved Tara." Willow said quickly. Saffron felt how sincere, how strongly she felt about this. She knew she had her support but this act. This selfless will that Saff had to protect those closest to her had cemented to Willow that she would undoubtedly do the same for her friend.
"Anyone would have" Saffron reminded her sincerely. To Saffron, it was obvious that she would do this. She never stopped to think that others may have allowed Tara's death to happen, to suggest that it happened for a reason.
"But you did. You care about us and that's what counts" Willow whispered. Saffron had been the first one to immediately put Tara at ease. The first to support Willow when she realised she was into women. Saffron took a deep breath before asking, she didn't really want to say it. Want to think it. But she had no other plan. No other hope in her mind. So she said, barely above a whisper, "It might involve magic…"
"Whatever it takes" Willow didn't hesitate in her reply. Her mind was made up.
"But it could be dangerous for you…" she backtracked, wishing beyond everything that she hadn't said what she had been planning. Tara would hate it.
"If it's a matter of life and death"
"Yeah there'll be no get out of jail free this time, I can feel it. If I die this time then I'm dead for good, I can't even come back to haunt you" She said softly before pausing. She was thinking, inside her own head. She took a large intake of breath, unsure how to say what she felt. How to admit it. She decided to be honest. To explain to one of her closest friends how she felt, "But I mean it, I shouldn't have even asked, I just-I'm scared. I'm… scared and I don't think I can do it alone…"
She looked at Willow who stayed silent. She nodded slowly, reaching out to her friend. Her hand resting on Saff's. Neither said anything further, there was an understanding that was so entrenched between them both that they couldn't speak on it even if they had the words to do so.
Earlier on:
Saffron had wiped the tears from her eyes, her sadness replaced with determination. The second Oleander left her with those images cemented in her mind, she flew out of her bedroom at a sprint and went straight to Anya's apartment.
"An! I know you're in there!" She pounded on the door, hearing it splintering beneath her hands, "I just want to talk!" Saffron desperately thumped on the door again, almost punching her hand clean through it with the force. Anya opened the door a fraction, the chain was on so Saffron couldn't enter.
"Saff, I'm tired and cranky and my money is limited"
"End of the month's a killer. Speaking of, made any massacres happen recently?" That didn't elicit a response from the vengeance demon, so Saffron rushed past the faux niceties, "What were you doing in the magic box?" she asked hurriedly, having to confirm it. Anya rolled her eyes, not this again. She unlatched the door before Saffron broke it down anyway and walked into the kitchen with Saffron following.
"What I do every Friday evening, drinking the scotch and counting up the money in the till" Anya replied, a well-rehearsed sentence as Xander had asked so many times already.
She sighed, annoyed, "What was Spike doing at the magic box?"
"He came looking for something…"
"Anya, never in your life have you kept a secret"
"That's not true! I never told that Xander's father used to come on to me when I was alone in the house!"
"That's not a secret! He came on to everyone!" Saffron replied, rushing through her words, "Focus, please, what was he looking for?"
"Simple ingredients for a sweet dream spell" She finally said, landing her palms on the kitchen counter, looking at Saffron knowing she would tell if she was being honest.
"He hates spells"
"But he loves you, or he did, until you told him he was a horrible monster that you could never love" Anya said as Saffron winced slightly, "You've been having bad dreams. I usually get those, giant fluffy bunnies hopping around my home…" Anya tailed off, a horrified look plastered on her face as she relived her nightmares.
"An, focus!" Saffron continued, angry at herself that she had never asked this, "Were you having sex?"
"I already told Xander! No!" Anya raised her voice again, "We didn't have sex! I mean yes I'm very attractive and so is he, I think it must be the jawline…" She tailed off when she realised what Saff's look meant. Saff scrutinised her for a minute. But she knew in her gut instantly.
Shit, shit, shit. She's telling the truth. It was Oleander.
"Uh, I need to un-disappear Spike. I've made a massive fucking mistake"
"I never disappeared him. I was too sad about losing Xander" Anya admitted.
"So where the fuck is he, An!?" She asked, rubbing her neck as she started to pace. Anya didn't know how to respond so she watched for a moment. Saffron met her eyes and she just shrugged. It made Saffron move into overdrive.
"Thanks for not listening to my wish!" She hugged her quickly before rushing off, "I knew I liked you for a reason – Xander was an idiot to let you go!" She called over her shoulder before racing to Spike's crypt. Anya just stared after her, shrugging and moved to lock the door.
She ran through the cemetery, hurdling gravestones before she got to the crypt. Second on the left. It stood just as it always did. Her stomach flipped as she kicked the door in, something she never usually would do. But these were desperate times and they called for desperate measures. She needed to see him. Apologise.
She rushed inside to find… Clem?
She frowned, unsure what he was doing apart from watching tv with the biggest bag of crisps she had ever seen. Clem turned to face her and gave her a sympathetic look. He had expected her to come looking.
"He's gone away" He said, licking his fingers to get rid of the dust from his crisps.
"Where?"
"Beats me" Clem shrugged, "Says he needed to do this a long time ago…"
"Was he- was he mad at me?" Saffron asked sadly. She knew the answer, but she was a glutton for punishment and needed to hear it from Clem.
"You know I don't wanna lie to you" He said, the sympathetic smile on his face told her everything, "I guess you'd know if I did" He added.
"Truth hurts, doesn't it?" She asked and Clem nodded, patting her shoulder. Both of them ignored the orange tinge he left on her shoulder from the remaining dust on his fingers.
"Me and my L, we went through a tough spot last month. You just have to remember the good times, y'know? Maybe when he comes back you can make things right?"
"If I live that long" She muttered sadly. Clem continued to talk, offering her some snacks, but she had to decline.
Saffron smiled politely, thanking him for his advice. She turned and walked back into the mid-morning sun. She bitterly walked through the stones. She thought about everything as she walked back towards Revello Drive. She was still trying to figure out if Clem's secret girlfriend was real or not.
She wished more than anything that her and Spike could have a game of guess-the-demon-girlfriend, like they usually would. They had been asking questions to try and get more information about what she looked like but Clem was always so vague talking about her. Saffron's line of argument the last time was a Gordolox demon, similar diet to Clem so they could go on dates, but Spike had been convinced she was a vamp, if she was real that is.
She had been in her own head the entire walk back home. She felt horrible. It felt as though nothing would ever be the same again. He was gone. Nothing would ever feel right so long as things were left unfinished with him.