Spoilers/Warning: This fic contains spoilers about the game and its ending so consider yourself warned. And also there's some swearing in here, due to the Sparda brothers' potty mouths.

Dedication: To Enrique Chavez, Meirelle (UST indeed XP), Yasmine, Valerathon, The Tyrant Hamster, Veronica (squee:D), Demerah, yodel (thanks for sticking with me, dude or dudette!), renderedvoice, Laryna6, and Ryoko-starwind. Christmas cookies for you all!

Disclaimer: Capcom owns Devil May Cry but Dante owns my soul. XD … no really, please tell him to give it back to me. The automatic doors won't open for me anymore. :(

A/N: OK here's the next installment of the story! I think it's a bit rushed since I'm going on vacation for two weeks and I didn't want to leave you guys without an update. So sorry if this chapter sucks. :( Anyway Merry Christmas to all and have a happy holiday!

Chapter 06: Double Trouble

Wordlessly the three unwilling housemates walked back to Dante's flat. They hadn't learned anything useful at the Chus' clock shop and everyone was tired and disheartened.

'But at least we're well fed,' Lady thought as she glanced at the silent Sparda twins. As usual Vergil had taken the lead while Dante trudged along beside her. His cheeks were still a little red, and even his nose was coloured too. He'd flip his bangs out of his eyes every so often, and then sniff loudly.

'I hope he's not sick,' she thought and wondered if demons could even fall ill to human sicknesses. She'd never heard of such a thing happening, but then again, Dante was only half-demon. And currently powerless to boot.

Digging in his pants' pocket, Dante came up with a crumpled looking tissue and wiped his nose.

Turning her eyes back to the front (and consequently seeing Vergil's broad back), she thought back on lunch with the Chu couple. They had been served rice, beef stir fry (done rare for the Sparda brothers' portions), and steamed vegetables. Lady was just happy that there had been no pizza slice in sight.

She had helped Mr. Chu bring laden trays to the kitchen table. Vergil had just seated himself and sulked, while Dante had a quiet conversation with Mrs. Chu.

While she was loading a tray with bowls of rice, Mr. Chu had touched her hand. She looked at him questioningly, but he had just smiled.

"Do not worry so much about your father," he had whispered to her, making her almost drop the bowl. "He was who he was, and you are who you are. Do not let his shadow darken your life."

"I … I don't know what you mean," she had stammered as she quickly set the food down.

He had just chuckled lightly and cast her a knowing look (which was weird since he had no irises). Then he'd taken his tray and turned to the table. After a moment of composing herself, Lady did the same.

'What did he mean? And how did he know my fath … that man? Or does he know him?' Lady asked herself for the thousandth time since they'd left the shop. It was true that one of Arkham's hobbies had been collecting ancient tomes concerning demons. Perhaps he had contact with the Chus in that regard?

'Nevermind,' she shook her head in irritation. That man was dead now, and it didn't matter who he knew.

"You okay?" Dante asked but mashed the words so that it sounded like, "y'okay?"

"I was about to ask you that," she said half-teasingly. Looking at him again she saw that his face looked almost as pale as Vergil's but his cheeks and nose were red. Once again he sniffed loudly and then smothered a cough.

Stopping on the sidewalk, which made Dante stop as well, she raised her hand and felt his forehead. To her surprise his skin was incredibly hot.

"You have a fever!" she said with a frown. "How did that happen? Did one of your injuries get infected?"

"Nah, mine were all healed by this morning," he said, and couldn't help shooting Vergil's back a smug look. He knew his brother's wounds were still there by the way Vergil carried himself. His actions were slightly slower than usual, and he didn't make any sudden movements with his arms. Oh, it wasn't like Vergil wouldn't kick his ass if he really pissed him off, but his twin was trying to not aggravate his wounds either.

"Well you should get home as soon as possible and rest," she insisted as she took the backpack Cerberus currently sat in. Lady tried putting it on her back but immediately took it off again. The bag was freezing and the cold temperature hadn't done Dante any favours. No wonder he was getting sick so fast.

"Sorry," she said to Cerberus as she let the bag dangle from her arms. There was no way she was carrying Cerberus and she doubted Vergil would willingly play pack mule for them. As it was he was impatiently waiting for them at a street corner. He shot them a venomous look and then proceeded back to Dante's flat when they both caught up to him.

Dante stuck out his tongue at his brother, and Lady grinned.

The threesome made it to the apartment without further incident. After letting a grateful Cerberus out of the bag, Lady steered an unresisting Dante to the cot she'd used last night.

He lay down with a relieved sigh while kicking off his boots. Lady rummaged for some blankets but came out empty. Instead she settled for the remains of his coat, and draped it over his body.

"Thanks," he mumbled, his eyelids already half closed.

"No problem," she smiled.

"If you ever quit demon slaying, you'd make a great nurse," he grinned.

"Heh, yeah. My mom-," she stopped suddenly. Lady looked away and then awkwardly patted his arm.

"I better go and let you get some rest."

"All right," he said softly. He recognized that look in her face and eyes. How often had he seen the same thing in the mirror?

"Do I get a goodnight kiss?" he asked to break the mood.

"It's not nighttime, dummy," Lady scoffed good-naturedly. "And I still wouldn't when night comes."

"Aww," he mock pouted.

With a final crooked smile she left the room.

Once she was in the main area Lady ran her fingers through her hair and sighed loudly. Now what would she do?

'This place is a mess,' she wrinkled her nose at the sight of Dante's myriad of boxes, bins, and junk. True it wasn't as chaotic as before but the place still needed a good cleaning. She didn't think she'd ever get used to seeing this dump.

'And I think most of this stuff is useless' she frowned as she idly sifted through the contents of a box. Really, what in the world was Dante thinking when he got all these bits and pieces?

'If we're going to live here, we need to get some of the basics. But first things first.'

Quietly walking back into the room Dante occupied, she rifled through his pockets and got the keys to the flat. He was so tired that he didn't even stir at her entrance, and she was grateful for that. She could only imagine his reaction if he'd woken up to her hands in his pockets. Suffice it to say she'd probably have to beat him again.

With her prize in hand Lady also took all of her armaments in the area. She tiptoed out of the room and missed the smile on Dante's lips as she closed the door.

'I so knew she wanted me!' he cackled to himself as he shifted to a more comfortable position. 'Yep, I still got it!'

In the other room Lady was re-arming herself. It felt good to feel the familiar weight of all her guns. Kalina Ann's presence was still missing ('that idiot Dante better get her back!') but Lady felt much better now that she was armed once again.

"Going somewhere?"

Lady started and looked at the source of the voice. Vergil was standing in front of the dirty west windows and staring out at the streets below.

"Yeah," she said shortly as she adjusted a shoulder strap. The image of his devil form was still in her mind, even though she'd only seen it for a second. It was a poignant reminder that he, and his brother, ridiculous as he was sometimes, were still demons. But one of the brothers was more demonic in nature than the other.

'Just like Father.'

The thought crossed her mind before she could stop it. With a grimace she savagely tightened the gun holsters on her waist and crammed her handguns into their holders. Done with her preparations she walked towards the freight elevator.

"Be back before dark."

Once again his voice stopped her. Whipping her head to face him, Lady scowled. That statement sounded very much like an order. And she didn't take those from anyone, much less a half-demon bastard.

"Dante said this neighbourhood was dangerous, more so after dark."

Lady stared at him for a moment before nodding.

"Fine," she said when she realized he had his back turned to her. Without further words she walked to the freight elevator and used Dante's key to unlock the gate. Sliding it open she stepped inside and jammed another key into the elevator's bank of buttons. This activated the elevator and she closed the gate. Pressing the button for the ground floor she rode it down to the first level.

With a loud yawn Dante returned to the waking world. He groaned as he felt his sore muscles complain at his sudden movements. His head wasn't feeling so good either.

'Damn, what a time to get sick!' he griped internally as he waited for the room to stop spinning.

When he was younger Vergil and him had never gotten sick. It was usually an excuse to gloat over classmates who did get ill. Now Dante wondered how they'd ever managed to survive. It was even worse than being hung over, and he'd had plenty of experience with that.

"Ugh," he sniffed loudly. He needed to blow his nose. And then maybe he'd go get drunk so he wouldn't be conscious enough to feel so crappy.

Stiffly rising from the cot he let his coat fall to the floor. It was too damned hot in here, and it was making his mouth feel like a desert.

Dante made it to the door though he had to lean against the wall a couple of times. The room constantly decided to spin and twirl like some mad dancer, and it made some bile rise to his mouth.

Hastily he opened the door and staggered out. Late afternoon sunlight lanced into his eyes, and he quickly shut them. Vigorously rubbing his eyelids with the heel of his hand he blindly made his way to the brown couch.

Not checking to see if Vergil was on it, Dante threw himself onto the cushions. It was a relief to finally be off his feet, even though the distance between the cot and the couch wasn't that great. Compared to that the effort needed to reach the 'kitchen' sink seemed almost impossible to him.

"God, I want some water," he sighed loudly. Just thinking about some ice-cold refreshment made him drool.

"Here you go."

There was a clink sound. Turning to his left Dante saw that a glass of water had been placed on top of some plastic bins.

"Thanks," Dante said as he took it. He greedily swallowed half of it down before leaning back and sighing.

"Ah, that hits the spot! But it's not cold."

"Cerberus!"

The three-headed puppy scampered over from wherever he'd been hiding and sat down at Dante's feet.

"Good idea, bro," Dante grinned and leaned down. He let the three heads sniff the glass' bottom, and he felt it getting cold. When the cup was frosted over he drank from it again, and the chilled water served to clear his head.

"Ah!" Dante said with more gusto. "At least we found a use for him aside from making me sick. Heh, now I can chill my beer like that."

Dante snapped his fingers and then set the glass back down. What he saw next made his good mood evaporate like water on a hot plate.

"No. No, no, no, no, NOOOOOOOOO!"

He shot up from the couch and backed away. Dante didn't notice another one of Cerberus' 'accidents' and slipped on the ice puddle. He fell heavily on his back and groaned.

'My life sucks ass.'

But at least the ice felt good on his hot body.

"Hey, chica. What's a good-looking broad like you doing here?"

Lady glared stonily at the greasy looking thug blocking her way. Him and his cronies had spotted her as she'd entered the street. Young, attractive, and both hands occupied with luggage. It didn't get better than this.

"Heh, she looks like used goods," another man said, leering at her as he did so.

She scowled at him when she saw him staring at the scar across the bridge of her nose. Lady had gotten it on the first demon hunt she'd ever gone on, and she considered it a badge of courage.

"Doesn't matter. She's still good enough for us," the first man laughed and his five friends joined in. They reminded her of a pack of hyenas: not particularly bright, downright creepy, and utterly ruthless.

The leader, a typical looking slime ball, thrust his groin at her.

"Come with us, chica. We'll treat you reeeeeal good," he crooned at her.

Lady kicked his family jewels with her steel-toed boots.

"ARGH!" he cried out in pain as he doubled over. His gang stood in shock for a moment before rushing towards her in anger.

"Hold it," she said icily as she drew out one of her handguns. It was one of her smaller ones, a 10 mm Glock automatic pistol. She pointed the muzzle at the closest thug, and their urban honed instincts made them all freeze immediately.

"What are you morons waiting for? Get he-urk!"

Lady pistol-whipped the leader on the back of the head. He fell like a sack of potatoes.

"Back up," she barked, letting her eyes grow cold. She'd dealt with similar miscreants before, and she knew that violence was often the answer to these situations. This was the only thing they understood, and she was going to send them a very clear message.

The group had retreated a few steps at her harsh words except for one. He looked young and eager to prove himself to his peers. This man had just taken one step back, and he had a calculating look to his eyes.

'Better to learn this lesson from me,' she thought. Others could very well be more brutal about it. Carefully aiming her gun, she shot him in the right thigh.

"Aaaah!" he immediately fell to the floor. Clutching at his wound he started crying while the rest of the gang fled.

"When I say back off, I mean it," she said shortly. Stepping over his prone body she continued on her way.

Lady rounded the corner before she found herself unexpectedly accompanied.

"What are you doing here?" Lady asked in shock. One moment she had been alone, and in the next step, Vergil was beside her.

"I went to get groceries," he said flatly as if it was normal for Mr. I-Almost-Brought-Hell-To-Earth to do so. In fact he was carrying a brown paper bag full of food items in one arm. His right hand was tucked in his ruined coat's pocket.

"Oh," Lady said dumbly. What else was there to say?

Silence reigned between them till they reached the freight elevator.

"So," Lady said uncomfortably, "did anyone bother you while you were out?"

"You mean like how those men bothered you?" he smirked.

"You were there?" she scowled.

"I saw what happened," Vergil admitted. "You handled yourself well enough. And yes, three separate groups bothered me on my way back."

Another silence came.

"There are three less gangs in the neighbourhood now, isn't there?" she asked quietly.

Vergil answered with a satisfied and cruel smile.

The elevator dinged and he opened the gate. They both stepped into the flat only to hear Dante saying, "no, no, no," over and over again.

"Dante?" Lady asked as she dragged her wheeled luggage further into the apartment. She wondered if his fever had made him delirious.

As for his twin, Vergil just calmly entered what he assumed to be the kitchen area and began to unpack the groceries.

Lady found the sick Sparda brother lying on the floor. He was in the middle of a puddle and had laid an arm across his eyes.

"Come on, get up," Lady grunted as she all but dragged Dante to his feet. Guiding him to the couch, she sat him down and looked him over.

His shirt was soaking wet, and his hair looked damp and messy. Dark circles were starting to form around his eyes, and after checking his forehead again, she felt that he was still feverish.

Tsking at his untidy state, she put her hands on her hips and sighed.

"Dante, what were you doing just lying there? Getting wet and cold will make you sicker!" she admonished him.

"Gimme a break! I just saw something nasty," he shuddered.

"You finally noticed this pigsty?" Vergil mocked.

"Shut up," Dante growled. "And no, that wasn't what I meant."

Lady rolled her eyes. Honestly, they were so childish sometimes. It was a good thing she was there to be the mature and reasonable voice in their conversations.

"Get into these before you catch pneumonia," Lady said as she tossed him some of his old sweat clothes. It conveniently interrupted what seemed to be an imminent argument.

"Argh! Shut up!" Dante shouted.

Lady instantly threw the closest thing at hand towards his head. The plastic rabbit bobble-head impacted on his cranium with a nice thud.

"What did you say?" she asked, her eyes blazing.

"No, no! I wasn't talking to you!" Dante said immediately. "I was talking to them!"

"Them?" she cocked an eyebrow.

Following his pointing fingers, Lady saw that there were two figurines standing on some plastic bins near the couch.

"Oh look, Dante's made some new friends," Vergil grinned from over the kitchen counter.

"We're his old friends," the red figurine suddenly exclaimed. "Isn't that right, brother?"

"Indeed, brother. We were with him in the Temen-Ni-Gru," the blue one added.

"What are those?" Lady asked after a pregnant pause.

"Don't tell me. Barbie and Ken," Vergil quipped. Indeed, the two figures were about the size of a Barbie (A/N: 11 inches or about 28 cm tall).

"I'm Agni/ I'm Rudra," they said in stereo.

There was another pause.

"He's Agni," Dante pointed at the red one, "and he's Rudra."

"More demon weapons?" Vergil inquired.

"Obviously."

"So they transformed too," Lady said speculatively as she approached the pair. They had broad shoulders and muscular limbs. Baggy pants were all the clothing they wore, and they had no hair whatsoever. Their eyes were a glowing uniform yellow.

"Unfortunately," Dante snorted as he glared at them. "They've been talking to me nonstop for the last hour! I thought I would go insane! And didn't you two promise me no talking?"

"We did, didn't we?" Rudra turned to Agni.

"Yes but that was only if he brought us along with him. And we did keep our end of the bargain," the red-skinned demon said.

"You're right. Since we are free once more to walk where we choose, he doesn't have to bring us along with him anymore," his blue coloured sibling answered.

"That means our promise has been fulfilled and- "

"Look, I don't care if you can walk now!" Dante butted in. "But so help me God. Or Satan," he amended when he saw Lady's raised eyebrow, "I will toss you off a skyscraper if you don't shut your yap. I cannot stand anyone who talks more than me."

"This could be poetic justice then," Vergil grinned wolfishly.

Dante stuck his middle finger at him.

"That was rude, wasn't it, brother?" Agni commented.

"Yes. That wasn't brotherly of him at all," Rudra agreed.

"Argh, that's it!" Dante shouted. "Cerberus, attack!"

Two of the puppy's heads just looked at him while the left one began to chew on his butt.

"Good boy," Lady laughed while Dante sighed in defeat. "But tell us, how many more weapons are there?"

"Umm, two more, maybe four."

"Maybe?" Vergil asked.

"Well … for two of them they weren't weapons per se. They were more like … abilities," he shrugged.

"Greeeeat," Lady said as she walked back to her luggage. She took the handles and rolled one near the couch while carrying the other.

"What's that?" Dante asked.

"My stuff. I had to walk all the way to the hotel I was staying at," Lady said as she joined him on the couch. It felt good to finally get off her feet. "Too bad my bike got destroyed when the Demon Tower fell."

"Yes … the Tower broke your bike …" Dante muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing," he gave her his most beguiling grin, which meant she wasn't fooled one bit. But seeing how awful he looked, she let it slide. For now.

"Anyway," she turned away with a sniff, "I thought I might as well bring my stuff over here. Till I decide what to do next, that is."

"Hey, pretty company is always welcomed," Dante made a sweeping gesture with his arm, intentionally trying to knock Agni and Rudra off their bins. However they neatly hopped over his hand and settled on the backrest of the couch.

"Dinner," Vergil called flatly.

"What?" Dante said in confusion.

"It's time for supper, you retard," Lady teased as she rose from the couch. "Come on, you need to eat to get better."

Dante allowed her to take his hand and drag him to the kitchen. He didn't know what was weirder, his devil arms coming back to 'life', Lady being nice to him, or Vergil cooking.

A/N: Review if you like it or have constructive criticisms! Have a nice holiday:)