The Phantessa of the Ballet

by The Poisoned Doughnut Of DOOM

The story that explains the strange happenings at the Royal Italian Ballet. Terrorized by a caped, masked, women. A hilarious parody of the musical. Please note that the parody is SUPPOSED to sound really stupid.

9. El Goato

Capitola Eight

I'm just saying … I know Il Muto means "The Mute", but I like the name El Goato.

The actors were all in place for El Goato, the new ballet. Carl: the Lord, Penelope: the Confidante, Christopher: the Goat.

"Hey Christopher," said Matthew. "Why do you have a bruise on your head?"

"I, er, fell on it," Christopher mumbled, not wanting to say a weird, masked, hot woman had smacked him with a giant hammer. He re-arranged his curly white goat wig to hide the bruises.

"Shut up, you snots," said one of the fops.

"Fops suck," Christopher muttered.

"Quiet!" hissed the fop.

The curtains opened. Christopher had to crawl around stage, occasionally "Bahhing!" The Confidante, played by Penelope, began to sing and dance.

No one knows that that goat has driven my lord insane

If all those fops knew what I know

It would truly ruin the show

I must be sure everything he says is so mundane

Everything he says is so mundane

Christopher "Bahhed!" Fop Main #1 prepared for his role.

My lord, this party is wonderful

I really love that goat in the corner

Adds such décor

Saddly, we must leave

The fops left the room. Christopher "Bahhhhed!" some more. Carl preened, and began to dance.

Confidante, away with this masquerade

Bring me the goat that makes me laugh

Lowly Goat you make me laugh

Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee,

Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee

Time I had some time to be insane in private

Penelope joined in again. Christopher "Bahhhed!"

Lowly fops, they'll never know.

Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo

Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo

If they knew it would ruin the show

"Did I not tell you to keep your fat asses the hell out of my box?" boomed a female voice.

"She's here, the Phantessa of the Ballet," whispered Matthew.

"That voice!" Christopher, as the goat mask slid down his face.

"Your part is silent, you little goose!" Carl snapped. "Er, hem hem. On with the show."

The music began again. Far up on the balcony, Erika glared at all the fops in the audience. "Time for a little joke. Show them who's a goose."

Erika stayed on the balcony, ready to perform some ventriloquism. When Carl next opened his mouth, a curious thing happened.

Confidante, away with this masquerade

Bring me the goat that makes me HONK!

Carl shreiked girishly, and clapped a hand to his mouth. Everyone laughed hard. The orchestra began the music again.

Lowly Goat you make me HONK!

Hee, hee, HONK! hee, hee,

Hee, hee, hee, hee

HONK!

HONK!

HONK!

"What's HONK!" Carl screamed and ran offstage.

Capitola Nine