Did you end your life in peace?

Did you die in pain? Were you afraid?

Your palms have gone cold in a tightly clenched fist.

Your red lips and hair that blew in the wind,

make me wonder whether this might all have been a dream.

Kill me with the pain you felt;

with your final goodbye.

Take me with you.

IT was always the rain that got to him in the end. He stood there, looking outside at the rain falling as the voices in the courtroom surrounded him. He was guilty as charged. There was no 'saving' or 'breaking free' this time. He was just glad that his brother got away. That he didn't have to see or remember him anymore. Didn't have to see the pain of his older brother striped of his title and thrown around like a rag doll. He was glad to know that his brother could actually relive a childhood he would have had if it wasn't for him. He was even happier to learn that his younger brother didn't remember him whatsoever. That was the safest way to go. Alphonse Rockbell sounded better then Alphonse Elric anyways.

HIS golden eyes set sights on the dark haired pale man; his ex-commander. He wasn't paying any attention to what he was saying. Maybe he should, but at the moment he was so sick of living and surviving. He didn't deserve to survive. He caused so much pain to everyone in his life. So what right did he have to live through this? He was entranced by the rain once more. The pounding reminding him of the first time he did human transmutation. The tapping of the rain reminded him of restoring Alphonse by killing several people by accident. That...that act, even if it was an accident...it killed him inside. Maybe those deaths were the reason he wanted to die. The hammer against wood, echoing in the court room caught his attention. "Do you understand the guidelines, Mr. Elric?" He blinked and responded in a dry, horsed voice. "Understand what, sir?" The Judge gave an angry sigh. "You are to be confined and enslaved by General Mustang. You should thank him for saving your life." Enslaved! By that fucking bastard! He thought. I rather die a painful death. He could feel himself shake as he stuttered a "Y-ye-s-s, Sir."

The Rain

Part One - Dazed and Lost

THE said bastard smirked as they handed him the chain and leash to lead the blonde to the car. "Hello Edward" The dark haired man smirked as he looked at Edward. He frowned at the man and continued to walk behind the man, looking at the rain as they got into the backseat of the car. "No manners still?" He then felt a hard slap across his cheek, his eyes widen in shock as he looked towards the Col-no General. His cheek was slowly bruising, and turning red against his too pale skin. "When someone says hello to you, you should say "Hello Sir" or "Hello Master". You're a slave now Edward. Mine at that. I won't take any ill manners. Do you understand?" He looked down and said quietly. "Yes sir." He could tell that Mustang was smirking. He looked back outside to the rain. The rain gave him terrible pain, but at the same time...relief.

NO one talked for the rest of the way, not even as the car started pulling up the long narrow driveway that lead to a marvelous mansion that belonged to a cold hearted man whose concern only reached to a small bubble around him. The silence was broken to Ed's despair. "Come on, Take off your shoes at the door." He watched at the dark haired man got out of the car and walked to the door. The driver in the front seat glared at him to get out. He opened the door emotionlessly and then closed it. The car took off as he started for the house. What was the use of the running away if he had no family to run to? He stared at the open door for a moment before walking up to the door, taking off the tight shoes, then placing them on the matt.

HE heard the sound of water running, echoing throughout the house. "Get in here." He obeyed the demanding voice of his ex-commander. He padded down the hallway, Metal foot echoing each step louder then his human one. He found the man in a marble bathroom. "Strip." was the only thing the man said to him before turning off the water, leaving foggy colored water to still slightly in the tub. He slowly took off the orange prison shirt, then the ugly colored pants, followed by his blue boxers. He didn't notice the lustful gleam in the older man's eye as he was told to sit down in the tub. He obeyed like a dog to its ungrateful master. "Clean yourself. Come out when you're done. Use the white towel." Roy left, carrying off the dirty ugly orange clothing. He slightly wondered what he was going to wear as he washed himself, but found himself unable to keep himself on one thought. Thoughts about his brother still invaded his head. Wishes and faint fantasies also played their part in his head. He got out when the water was cold against his skin. He smelled of apple cinnamon and other spices, must of been something the man put in the water.

HE dried himself with the white towel and then wrapped it around his thin waist. He stared at himself in the mirror. It scared at how much his features had changed while awaiting for trail. His baby fat seemed to have evaporated, leaving him with a more feminine look, his eyes slightly narrowed into an amber color, he could visibly see his collar bone along with several ribs, and the metal that met his shoulder made him look mutated...ugly. He shook his head and exited the bathroom after fingering the knots out of his hair leaving it silky and fine. It fell just below the tail bone in his back. He wondered if Mustang would cut the long blonde hair that had grown since he was 10 maybe 9 years old.

THE dark haired man was sitting in the living room, sipping a cup of whiskey. The ice clicked against the cup as he lifted it. He looked up as the beautiful but ugly blonde entered the room. He only called the blonde ugly because of the dark, dead look in the once lively eyes. This made him want to beat the blonde to near death, to awaken the old fight in him. The automail didn't bug him at all, in fact he thought it made the blonde sexy and fuckable. He watched as the towel slid down slightly from the small waist showing some of the younger man's navel. He smirked as he got up from his chair and seemed to glide towards the younger man. He lifted the other man's chin up to get a good look at the dead look in those once exotic golden eyes. The now amber dulled eyes held no interest in what the dark haired man could or would do with him now that he had him at his every whim.

HE held back the longing to slap the blonde senseless. This is what his best friend gave up his life for? A dead weighted brat who now didn't want to live? He felt something inside him stir. Something that he thought he had gotten rid of several years ago when he buried his best friend, while his best friend's child cried for them not to bury her father. The tears that were building up as he heard her scream and shout as her mother pulled her away from the grave and out of the cemetery. He didn't even feel himself move one of his hands towards the towel that rested loosely around the man's waist.

HE could feel the dampness of the skin that wasn't completely dried by the towel. He slowly removed the towel off the damp, waterlogged body, which only slightly shivered at what he was doing. He wondered what was going on in the blonde's head as he let his hand slowly slip down past his navel into small blonde curls that grew during the brief puberty the boy did have. He brought his hand to the weeping penis and touched it feather-light as his other hand forced the blonde into a harsh kiss. This seemed to have awoken the former state alchemist's soul that still existed somewhere in the vegetable body. He could feel the blonde's feeble and under nourished arms attempt to push him away, not wanting the sexual contact.

THE touch was foreign and it brought him to his senses quickly. He didn't like the touch, it was venomous and burned at his skin. At the same time it sent pleasurable shockwaves up and down his spine. He tried to push away from the older man as lips crashed onto his own. He let out a gasp as the older man gripped his harden member tightly, allowing the other's tongue to invade his mouth as he fell to the floor with Mustang on top of him. He could feel a harden bulge of clothing against his own. He suppressed a whimper.

HE could see that damned smirk cross the man's lips as he stared down at him. He tried to struggle, but got a good slap in the face as the older man started taking his shirt off. He shivered under the other man, his cheek slowly swelling to a nice bruise. The dark haired man forcibly pressed his lips against his own, as the last piece of clothing was removed from the older man's body. He tried to escape from the man's sexual attentions by trying to crawl out from under him as Mustang removed his pants and navy blue boxers. He was grabbed by the ankle and forcibly pulled back. He was now on his stomach.

HE heard the younger one whimper under him as he pressed his very hard member against the pale soft cheeks. He could feel each rib as his hands danced up and down the younger one's sides. He smirked as he griped the very hard cock of the blonde's in his large hand. He smirked as the blonde came into his hand, he put a clean hand on the nape of the blonde's neck to keep him from escaping again as he used the blonde's own cum as lube. It wouldn't be that good of a lube, but good enough for Mustang.

THE blonde was so tight, it made him very anxious and hard as he fingered the teen's ass. When he felt that the other was ready, he slowly entered the tight, hot cavern that, by what he could tell, was his and only his to explore. The body underneath him gave a strangled cry, but at the moment he could care less. He slowly started thrusting in an out of the tight body. First all the sounds he heard were screams of pain that soon faded into moans of pleasure and whimpers of 'no' which earned the boy with a slap in the back of the head or a pull to the tangled damp, dried hair. He soon came as the blonde did to, through the excitement from his body. The body under him fell to the ground as he exited the blonde.

HE got up off of the younger male and got redressed. He walked over to the chiffarobe near the corner of the room. He took out some smaller sized clothing and dropped them near the enraged blonde. He watched the blonde's knuckles turn white as he griped the rug under him forcibly. He smirked as he took a deep breathe of air letting out a sigh. He didn't regret what he did, no he was a long ways from regretting that. It felt good, better then the common whores that he picked up at the bars and stores in Central. Better then all the girls whose names were listed in his black book that was found in his second hand drawer on the right of his bed. "Get dressed, then go into the kitchen and say that I said you could have something to eat. I'm sure the chief will make you something.

HE watched Roy move out of the room. He winced as he stood up and got dressed. He felt used as he left the room and went to find the kitchen. The place felt uncomfortable as he moved down the halls. It was warm, but cold at the same time like a bittersweet love story during a snowstorm. He looked down at his mismatched hands for a second before opening a door and finding the kitchen. The smell of food made the insides of his stomach do flips. The so a called chief was a young girl around 20 with long brownish red hair that was put up in a bun by a butterfly pin, she was dressed in what he guessed was the uniform. Well he was wearing similar colors, a blue shirt that was really loose on him and black pants held up by a brown belt that wrapped around twice. She was wearing a black shirt and a jean blue skirt, her feet were bare, but must be out of the respect of the house. "My you look exhausted. Would you like something to eat? I bet he sent you here!" She said in, what Edward thought, an overly cheerful voice.

HE nodded and forced a smile to humor the girl. "Yes, You must have been the boy he was talking about this morning." She said as she took out a plate of delicious sandwiches. She set them down on the counter and sat back down on a stool located near for others that went down in a row along the counter. He sat down near the sandwiches, two stools away from the over happy girl. What was so good to be happy now? Why was she so happy? He picked up a sandwich and bit down. The bread and meat easily tore apart from the sandwich as he chewed. It was one of the most delicious sandwiches he ever tasted. The girl blinked as she watched tears well up in the golden eyes of the man sitting away from her. She watched as he started devouring the sandwiches like a pack of wolves to a fox or dear. She frowned as she watched the man eat. "If you don't take it easy, you'll choke." That's when it started raining harder outside that echoed the sobs coming from the kitchen and the soft words of comfort.

Nestled in the wing,

We slowly close our eyes...

When we awake from our drowsiness,

We realize...

...That this was all a dream...

The nightmare is over.

HE spent hours crying on that cold hard kitchen floor, head buried in the bosom of a women he barely knew. He could hear the comforting words she spoke to him. At the same time, he didn't want to be comforted. He didn't deserve it. He didn't. He bit down on his bottom lip as the women held him. Why? Why was he so weak...? He was now a slave. He had no claim to what that bastard did to him. He was raped by someone he had known for years...but that didn't really matter any more, did it? A slave. That's what I am to him. He looked up at the women who had gentle eyes. She pities me.

The Rain

Part Two- The Tainted Soul

HE was allowed to sleep in a bed, for that he was thankful. Though he hated the man more then he used to, it helped to know that the man cared enough to let him sleep in a bed. For all he knew, the man could have let him die in the shooting line or sleep on the cold floor by his bed. He looked at the mirror in his room, his eyes were puffy and red from crying in front of the girl that was inside of such a cruel house. Maybe the house wasn't cruel, but the one who owned the house. He sat down on the comfortable bed and looked up at the ceiling. No light came through the window indicating the time of day. For the time, he had no clue, nor did he care. He slowly lowered himself to lie on the bed. Then covered himself with the warm blankets and closed his eyes. He reopened them when his closed eyelids were invaded with images of a naked Mustang above him...thrusting into him.

HE really did hate that man, but ...he couldn't explain it. He really did feel like a slave to the man. How could he be put down to such a low standard? His skin felt like it was crawling, trying to peel itself off the disgusting soul that lay within it. He sighed and turned on to his side, wincing slightly at the pain that he could now feel from his tail bone up. The pain that was starting to settle in wasn't helping him to sleep. He stared at the wall, trying not to enter his thoughts. When he did they told him he deserved what Mustang did to him. That he had it coming to him for a very long time now.

HE tried closing his eyes again and ignoring the graphic scenes that he really didn't want to think about. The worst part of all that has happened to him, is that he enjoyed Mustang raping him. Hell. Could he even call it rape? He drifted into a half sleep as the images invaded his sight. God, did he hate his life.

ROY glared at the motionless body on the bed in the early hours of the morning. It was just starting to turn light outside as he decided it was time to get ready for work. Of course work meant Riza, and Riza was a threat within itself. That and paperwork were probably one of the many reasons why he hated his job. He buttoned up the navy uniform and buckled the cape that flowed around his legs as he usually wore his uniform. He smirked as he combed his hair thoughtfully. Though it never helped because his hair had a mind of it's own when he didn't have gel or hair hold in his hair. He exited the bathroom after putting on some cologne from a small glass bottle. He glanced at his clock to see that it was only 6:15 A. M. He smiled thoughtfully as he exited his room completely and headed back down to the room that held his new blonde slave.

HE knew that he had to take the brat to work with him. He felt more like a babysitter then a master or slave owner. Hell, he didn't even feel like a father...after all fathers didn't fuck their children into the floor like some dog or wild animal. He grabbed a hold of the blonde's delicate ankles and roughly pulled him off the bed. The blonde jumped to his feet, scared and shocked that someone would do that while he was sleeping. "Get dressed, there should be something in the closet that will fit you." He turned, smirking coldly as he left the room and the sleepy blonde behind him.

HE finished his toast as the blonde came sluggishly down the stairs. He still had that cold smirk on his face from when he left the blonde alone in his room. He brushed off any invisible crumbs that were on him and got up. "Lt. Havoc will be here any minute. Eat a piece of toast before he gets here." He watched as the blonde nodded and buttered up one of the pieces of toast on the table then ate it quickly before there was a loud horn noise came from the front of the overly large house. He looked at his new slave briefly before saying "Come on, I don't want to be late." He knew Ed was following him by the sounds of mismatched footsteps from behind him. He quickly put on his boots and watched as the short blonde did the same, then went out into the car. He greeted Havoc as he normally did, even though the blue-eyed blonde frowned at him with a cigarette in his mouth.

HE guessed that the cold shoulder from his colleagues was going to be expected. After all, most of his team saw Edward as one of their own pups. He even considered the young blonde as a pup of his team at one point in time. Now, he didn't really see the blonde as anything special. Just something he can use and would be used by him. Riza frowned disapprovingly at him as he walked into his office with Edward in tow behind him. He didn't really notice at first, but the blonde kept his head bowed, even as he sat on the cold ground near the desk, for the reminder of the day.

RIZA really couldn't believe when the jury convicted Edward "Fullmetal" Elric, Hero of the people, to death. She guessed that she really shouldn't have given the General the cold shoulder after he technically saved Edward's life...but a personal slave? She really couldn't believe that the man that she secretly idolized for years made Edward, someone who she saw as a little brother since he joined the military, his slave. She always thought that Roy took Edward in as an adoptive son or in a brotherly way. Now, to end it all as keeping the once lively boy as a slave was like tying up the sun and keeping it your house for yourself. She felt something knot in her heart as she stared down at Edward who sat by Roy's desk like a loyal dog to it's master. She couldn't bear to look into the lost dark amber eyes that dreamed of a place so far away that he'd never be able to touch or smell it.

SHE felt sorry that she couldn't do anything to help the lost blonde. She felt even worse as she glared at the dark haired man in front of him and nearly threw the papers down on the desk. To bad she was always a woman of honor and her word or else she would have just walked right out of this office and quit the military. Bastards. That's the best fitting word in her definition of justice as she left the office and a sad blonde in it's wake.

HAVOC chewed on the end of the butt as he stared at the closed office door. He wondered how the small blonde alchemist was adapting...if he was alright...if Chief was treating him fairly. Well fairly in his sense of the term. Not a slave's term. It wasn't right. Edward was a hero...not a traitor. It took him every muscle in his body and some target practicing from Riza to keep him seated in his and not go marching into the cold office to punch the General and set Edward free. If he did that, the state would just hunt Edward down and kill him on sight...no more deals. Period. He looked at Fury and Falman. He bet they thought the same thing. He sighed, wishing to light the cigarette he was chewing on. He looked straight at Riza and saw her face covered by her hands. He knew she was secretly crying in her own way...also sorry that she couldn't help the blonde, golden eyed boy. No one could. Not from Roy Mustang. Not from the state. Not from the slow death that would eventually find him.

It was like

when we were kids,

Running away from home with only the money in our pockets.

We know how good we have it.

And that happiness doesn't last.

But...

For now,

We're just a happy couple.

Just for this moment in time.

There is no god here.

No one knows us here.

No one censer us here.

So we're guilty...

But we're the world's happiest sinners...

The Rain

Part Three- Unjust Light

MAYBE it was the sunset that made his eyes burn with unshed tears. Maybe not. Maybe it was the fact that it stopped raining and his nightmare had never seemed to end. Just once, he wished he wouldn't wallow in self-pity for himself. For once he wished he didn't know what the gleam in that bastard's eye promised him when they got home, upstairs where the maid wouldn't hear them. He'd been living as a slave to this bastard for the last ten rainy days. Now, as any normal season ends...the rainy season was over. He wished for it to rain. He glared at the cloudless sunset as if accusing it for his cursed life. Accusing it of having that fucking bastard fucking him into the floor or bed sheets every night that he's been with him. His ass hurt, his whole fucking body hurt. He wished for everything to stop hurting. He found himself idly wishing for a lot of things as he lived with the dark haired man.

MAYBE that was his problem. He was wishing for things he could never have or touch. It wasn't right for him to be wishing, now that he was what he is. Did that make any sense? His idle brain would ponder why he just didn't use alchemy...but then he knew the answer to that. It's because he secretly loved the bastard that fucked him into the floor. The same bastard that hated his guts enough to rape him every night. He got out of the familiar car as it pulled into park on the gravel that made up Roy Mustang's driveway. He stared down at the gravel as he followed his master up to the front porch in all it's glory in the setting sun that wanted nothing to do with him.

THE click of the door unlocking was a clue as to when to start walking. He took off his shoes at the matt and placed them near all the other shoes. He looked up as Roy turned to him, he kept a neutral face to hide the real conflicts from within as the bastard smirked at him. "There's going to be a visitor to night, so I'd like it if you stay up in your room." He blinked for a second...What? No rape? No hitting? Nothing? Just up to the room? He thought for a second before nodding and heading up to his room, fully aware of the smirking man that watched him climb up the stairs. What he didn't know was that the smirk soon vanished into a small frown.

HE was fed his supper in his room, the nice maid that he had met had come back and picked up the empty tray after a while too. He was lying on his back in the dark, enjoying the quiet of his room. He had heard a bit of the entrance of the bastard's visitor, but he couldn't hear anything else now. He looked at the clock to his side that read 11:59 P.M. He smiled up at the ceiling. The bastard would be a sleep or drinking in the den by now. Knowing that it's a work day tomorrow, he'd be most likely sleeping. He closed his eyes, not noticing as the door opened and then quietly.

HE felt the pressure of the bed leaning on to one side as someone climbed up to the bed. He drew a harsh breath as he tried to sit up fast only to have whoever was in the room jump on top of him and cover his mouth. He could smell the whiskey on the breath of whoever was on top of him. By the weight of the man he could tell that it sure as hell wasn't Roy. He felt a hand wonder up his shirt and then rip it off. He tried to get a clear look of the ...yes man he was sure it was a man...he could feel the hardened bulge of the man's penis near his thigh. He whimpered as the man gave his nipple a harsh pinch. "I bet Mustang treats you like a fucking kid." The man breathed in his ear. He almost gagged as the man continued to pant on him. The breath was horrible smelling. "That fucker's asleep right now. Drugged his coffee after I asked nicely." He could feel his heart pounding. Roy didn't send this fucker after him. He felt the slight pain of his automail being removed from his right arm port. The fear started well up more.

THE hard thud of the automail landing on the ground made him start struggling against his intruder. A huge palm collided with his cheek causing him to pause as the intruder ripped off his pajama pants and boxers. The touch of the man's hands on his was almost sickening to him. It was worse then when Roy touched him. Roy's touch didn't make him want to puke at the lightest touch. The smell of salty fingers weren't helping much either. Then the wet sandpaper-like tongue danced it's way down Ed's chest and stomach making his every muscle try to crawl away from the man. He tried kicking his legs and got another slap across the face. The slaps were hard enough to leave purple bruises to be spotted by his owner in the morning.

THE worst feeling in the world hit Edward hard in the ass, quite literally, as the man ripped open his rectum and thrusted inside of him. He let out a loud scream that was covered with the intruder's lips. Tears feel from his eyes as the man continued to thrust into him, he felt something wet dripping from in-between his thighs...he was bleeding. He realized something for the first time...Roy always used some kind of lubricant. This fucker wasn't and it hurt like hell...he wondered if he'd even be able to walk to work with Roy tomorrow or ever again.

HE heard the man scream out in pain and opened his eyes to see the man on fire above him and was quickly shoved off of him. He felt two arms drag him off the bed rather gently. More gently then he's been treated in days. He looked up to see the pissed off face of General Roy Mustang with enough fire in his eyes to engulf the world into utter flames. He looked at the man who had stopped the flames from engulfing him glare up at Roy. He didn't feel pity for the now scared man...but he felt resentment that the bastard didn't fry the guy into ashes. He fell back onto the ground, to his knees before Roy and found himself falling into darkness, only seeing the concerned look of his master's face before consumed by it.

If I sleep for hundreds and thousands of madding nights...

Will my pain leave me for a more beautiful place?

This love tears me apart...

This feeling...

I have one wish...

Useless...

Homeless...

Overcome by emotion...

..Struggling...

The Rain

Part Four- Kindness Unseen but There...

HE sat there next to the hospital bed, actually worrying for the being in the white covers, flushed from blood loss. He felt like someone had slapped him across the face as he looked at the boy. All his unkempt hatred of the boy was gone for good. He didn't even remember why it was there in the first place. Could Edward ever forgive him for treating him like that fucked up General had? As much as he hated comparing himself to people like that General, who was now in the burn treatment section of the hospital with severe burns, he was damn close to becoming a person like that. Something that he never wanted to be. Something that he had fought against all his life and almost let consume him. To use the boy like that wasn't the real reason he saved him. It was really because he loved the golden eyed boy. He just wanted to slap the boy every time the eyes seemed to die when they looked at him. He didn't even understand that.

HE frowned at the placid face that soon wrinkled up as a nightmare invaded his dreams. Why did it take another person raping the boy to realize just how much he was abusing him? That he was turning into a monster? He slouched down in the chair towards the bed, resting his folded arms there and placing his head on his arms to look at the boy as he slowly began thinking about what really was going on. He knew that Alphonse didn't remember Ed at all and resented him for being a killer. He knew that Edward didn't really kill all those people in Holobirth. He knew the boy wasn't able to kill one man without breaking down for days. So how would he be able to kill over 10,000 people...the whole damned city?

HE was awakened by the soft hands of a nurse who looked at him with concern. "Sir, maybe you should go home?" When had he fallen asleep? He looked up to see the blonde still peacefully sleeping. He gave a charming smile to the nurse. "No, I'd like to stay right here, if you don't mind." He watched as the nurse blushed and nodded before leaving. He yawned and ran a hand through his already messy hair. He felt too drowsy to think, as he looked at the blonde, or even notice as someone else entered the room. "General?" The strict voice of Riza came and he looked over to her. He frowned at her neutral expression. "Why didn't you shoot at me when I was becoming such a monster?" He questioned the blonde haired women and watched as she smiled at him. "Because sir, I knew that you knew better than to treat Edo-kun as such, but you did. I never wanted this to happen to him...not Edo-kun..." She sat in the chair next to his.

SHE looked at him waiting for an apology that she knew was coming from the dark haired man. "I'm sorry for acting like a stupid dick." She chuckled lightly, covering her mouth with her hand then looked at him seriously. "Sir, You are always a stupid dick. I believe you were born that way." Roy sighed and looked back at the sleeping blonde on the bed. "He'll be alright, Maybe he'll forgive you too." She smiled at him and patted his shoulder as she got up. "Tell him everyone says 'Hi'. If you don't we won't forgive you." He watched her leave as the annoying sound of rain start thudding against the hospital window.

THE rain always depressed him to the point of insanity. That's probably one of the reasons fire was his main element. Sure, he had to learn a lot about water incase of emergencies, but he hated it. He glared hard at the window, wishing the rain to disappear. The rain hated him at moments, he knew that much. He tried to turn his attention from the rain and to the sleeping form on the bed. The insane slow beep of a healthy heart on the heart monitor wasn't helping, but he couldn't turn it off either. He swore he could hear the dripping of the IV bag. He twitched as he sat in the seat. The drizzling rain starting to pound harder against the glass while he stared at the fragile boy. He closed his eyes trying to shut out the sounds. No one knew of his obsession for being in the dark when it was raining...nor the insane feeling he got when he was stuck in the house staring out a window with no hope of being of any use.

SURE, he was known for the usually cold mask that his feelings could never be seen through. Rainy days seem to melt this mask though, always showing the scared man he really was. If he wanted to, he could hold up the mask, but not when he was alone. It was harder to keep it up when he was alone. His mental state hadn't been steady since the Ishbal war...even before that it was known to be a bit unstable. The rain. How could anyone express it as beautiful? How could the tainted water be called pure or thought as purifying? It only tainted all it touched, that's why the world was such a horrible place...right? It's a shame that we need the rain to survive. Without it we die, with it we die. Such a bittersweet thing the rain really is. He really didn't want to be seen like this. He felt guilt well up in him again. His eyes stung, but he refused to cry. He felt as if it was hard to breathe. He never could explain why the rain got to him like this so badly.

THE rain comforted him as he opened his golden orbed eyes, he felt slightly dazed and fuzzy as he looked around. He spotted Roy, curled up in the chair near his bed. The man looked nearly half dead and stared off out the rain dropped window. He looked towards the window, slightly wondering what Roy was seeing. Then again, he didn't want to know. After all he hated the man, even if he did try to save him once. He looked back at the man ruefully and noticed something that he would have missed as soon as he would have opened his loud mouth. The dark haired man looked broken, there was no mask. The mask, where had it gone? "Roy?" He whispered out quietly, he winced as he moved towards the man. It seemed as if the drugs were wearing off.

DARK eyes met gold curiously enough, they weren't harsh or cold, but worried and guilt filled eyes. He was familiar with the dark eyes turning this way. He had witnessed to one other occasion that they'd be like this, not that he'd openly admit that Roy Mustang could be broken inside and still hold himself up on the outside like some egg shell drained of the yolks and membrane. "I'm glad your awake." He frowned at the man. "I'm sorry, Edward. I don't expect you to forgive me for what I've done to you...or for what that monster did to you while you were in my house." He was confused...THE bastard was apologizing to HIM? Why? Why did that bastard need to ruin every order in the book? He felt something drip down his face and felt a cool pale hand touch his cheek. Was he crying, because if he is then that would make sense...right? More tears fell like the rain outside...the steady pouring tears.

Women with women.

Men with men.

Parents with children.

Brothers with sisters.

Men with other men's wives.

Men with animals.

Mixing together, stealing, killing, living by their own desires.

Until you're bored.

Until you're nothing but white bone ripping each other apart.

Look at the true form of your beloved land and children.

You still think the capital will flourish?

The Rain

Part Five: Can You Forgive Me?

A monster...

That's what could describe a man who can't keep things locked up tightly to protect the people he loved. A man who could lash out at the ones he loved. A man who could and would step over the line several times just to feel the pain of their love ones around him. Stepping, crushing, raping...their loved ones...reducing their cries to nothing but tainted dust that couldn't be held up in the wind. Only waiting to be washed away with the rain.

Then again, the rain can't wash everything away...

How could anyone forgive such a monster?

Roy looked at the tears that slowly flowed down the blondes face. He couldn't see the boy ever forgiving him, not even after he died. The tears looked so forgiving and accusatory to him. They made him hurt and caused it hard for him to breath. The boy held on to him as if he was a small life line to the world. The world just didn't make any sense to him anymore. The boy was supposed to hate him, not cling on him and cry. He held on to the boy tighter, out of the corner of his eye he saw the purplish bruises that decorated the soft skin of the blonde. He rubbed his hand up and down the back, idly feeling the bumps of the other's spine. He closed his eyes and leaned his head on top of the blonde one. This isn't right...but it feels right. Tell me you hate me, Edward. Tell me that you'd rather burn in hell then ever see me again. He thought as the blonde moved a bit to get more comfortable against him.

"Do you hate me, Edward?" Roy whispered in his hair. "Yes." He didn't like the sound of his voice, it was hoarse from crying. He did hate him...he really did. How could he love the man at the same time? All humans are meant to be misunderstood at some time in their existence. Had he just misunderstood Roy this whole time? That there was really a gentle side to the man he never saw? That the man he had admired while he was a teenager really this broken? "Do you hate me, Roy?" He asked and looked up at the man. He watched a small true smile appear on the face. The smile was so sad, it hurt. "No, I don't hate you, Edward. I can't ever really hate you."

Roy blinked as soft lips covered his own. He knew these lips because he had kissed them several times before, but he didn't know they were this soft. He pressed back firmly and then pulled away. The blonde smiled at him. "I won't forgive you, but I can't hate you either." For once in his life, Roy actually felt pretty lucky. It's not everyday an angel says they don't hate you.

It's not everyday a tainted angel says they don't hate you.

Okay, the Quotes between each part is from Angel Sanctuary books 1-12, Remember to Review! 3 PS: There might be another "part'! So stay tuned!