Disclaimer: I don't own HP. JKR does. I am eternally grateful.
"Let's go by Dumbledore's office," Lily said the next morning at breakfast.
"Why?" Kathryn asked through a mouthful of eggs.
"To see if the boys are still there."
Adriana dropped her fork. "Are you crazy, Lil? They must have left hours ago. A teacher probably caught them. And it's nine o'clock on a Saturday . . . "
"They're waiting for Dumbledore. Lord knows if he's been there or not, the man's impossible to find."
"Well, if he hasn't been there all night, they ought to stake out the Great Hall, not his office!"
"I say we don't," Kathryn interjected. "You're outvoted, Lil. Shut up and eat."
Lily huffed in indignation.
"This is backwards," Adriana observed irrelevantly. "Usually Kattie's the one arguing."
"Don't call me that." Kathryn hoped this would be the end of it; she had the nagging feeling that they were bothering the boys too much. The very idea had started to make her uncomfortable. The boys all acted so different it was unnerving and yet, Sirius in particular was acting very sweet, in a twisted, turned-around sort of way. Shoot, don't think about that!
"Well, I'm done," Lily said abruptly. "And I'm going, whether you two come or not."
"Lily!" Adriana groaned. "Can't you just leave it?"
"They don't want us interfering!" Kathryn added angrily.
"I'm going; see you later!" Lily walked away with her nose in the air.
"What do we do?" Adriana asked nervously.
"Finish eating," Kathryn said gloomily. "If Lily's really going to get mad, then I'm not going to be anywhere nearby!"
"I'm not hungry."
"If you want to go endure a Lily Evans hissy fit, be my guest."
"Er, no thanks." Adriana snatched Kathryn's Daily Prophet and spread it out flat on the table to read.
She was still reading – and Kathryn was still eating – ten minutes later when Lily returned, stuck out her tongue at them both, and grabbed a piece of toast.
"I thought you were done," Kathryn remarked, raising an eyebrow.
"Arguing makes me hungry." Lily crunched her toast and sat down.
"Let me guess," Adriana said without looking up. "They actually came back and you made them leave by threatening a hissy fit."
"How did you know?"
"So where did they go?" Kathryn wanted to know. "I don't see them in here."
"Just so long as they're not sitting all by themselves in some desolate corridor at the end of the earth."
"You're exaggerating."
Lily popped the last of her toast into her mouth and stood up. "I'm going to the library."
"Lily, has anyone told you you care – and/or interfere – too much?" Kathryn called after her.
"Yes. You."
The nerve of that Lily Evans! Sirius thought furiously. Barging in on us like it's any of her business . . . He slammed the dormitory door and fumed his way down the spiral steps. Why do girls have to be so damned interfering? He wrestled with that question as he slammed the portrait as well ("Hey!" squawked the Fat Lady) and started to run. Eventually he gave it up, concluded that girls were a mystery and always would be, and resumed seething about them – until a small insistent voice popped into his head, making him slow down at last. She means well, the voice said.
Unconsciously, Sirius's feet had carried him to the front doors of the castle, which he pushed open. You know she means well, the voice repeated.
Why, though? Why do those girls feel a sudden urge to try and be "nice" to us? Okay, so Kathryn and Adriana didn't drive us away from Dumbledore's office, but they didn't exactly stop stupid Evans, did they? Damn it . . . Sirius cursed himself for being afraid of Lily Evans, too frightened of her red-haired wrath to go back. If the girl could be so worked up over something so trivial that didn't even concern her, what else would she do? And the Great Hall? Ha. Just what we need, five hundred pairs of eyes on us, acting almost normal . . . Dumbledore's eyes are bad enough . . . we'll wreck our reputations . . . like we're not enough in the spotlight already. Damn it, damn it, damn it!
Anger. It was practically a stage. Am I going through phases or something? God, I sound like one of those Muggle weirdoes. A psychiatrist. Just like Remus . . . .
Shut up.
Great, now I'm talking to myself.
Or have I been doing that all along?
Never mind!
Sirius shook his head hard, attracting stares from other students on the grass, and reverted to his earlier topic. We'll never find Dumbledore now. This place is huge; you'd need a map with people labeled or something. Damn it, why does Evans have to be so bloody SCARY?
"Hello, Sirius."
"Professor Dumbledore!" Sirius gasped. "What – how –"
"I was merely standing on the other side of that tree, enjoying the view," Dumbledore said pleasantly, indicating the sweeping surface of the lake with the letter in his hand.
"Oh." Sirius's heart was pounding so loud he was sure the headmaster could hear it. "Um, Professor, sir, there was something we wanted to ask you . . ."
"Ask away."
"Er, well, we – James and Peter and I – we wanted to see if there was any way we could go visit Remus over the weekend." Sirius said this in a rush, then held his breath and stared at the headmaster's feet.
"Sirius, look at me."
Reluctantly, Sirius looked up into those piercing blue eyes. He had the uncomfortable feeling that Dumbledore could see right through him, could see everything bottled up inside . . . Remus had once said that Sirius had too little storage space for his emotions, so they leaked out, usually causing him to yell at people . . . what was it with Remus and the feeling thing, anyway? Dumbledore's gaze was intense and Sirius felt that he had to say more, so he opened his mouth and let out the first thing that came to mind.
"We don't want him to think we've forgotten him, Professor."
Dumbledore sighed and finally spoke. "Sirius," he said gently, "I admire your concern for your friend. However, I am afraid that this is impossible. At present, only close family is permitted. Do you understand?"
What about close friends? Sirius wanted to scream, but for once in his life he bit his tongue and muttered, "Yes sir."
Dumbledore nodded and swept away towards the castle.
"BLACK!"
Sirius jumped about a foot and turned to see Mark Lucas, the Gryffindor Quidditch captain, striding towards him angrily.
"Where were you yesterday?" he demanded.
Bloody hell, I forgot all about practice! Sirius was a reserve Beater on the team. "Last night was the feast," he said, thinking fast and hoping he looked suitably puzzled.
"I know last night was the feast," Mark growled. "That's why we had practice at four. And you weren't there. I want an explanation." He tapped a foot impatiently. Sirius was strongly reminded of Professor McGonagall and had to bite his lip to keep from laughing. Mark noticed this and glared at him.
"I forgot. What's the big deal, our next game's not for three weeks and I'm only a reserve anyway."
"Our best reserve!" Mark exclaimed. "Mister Black, you are in an ideal position to be a starter next year and you need to put in your training."
"It's only October," Sirius pointed out.
"It's November."
"Whatever! It was October yesterday. And James and Kathryn weren't there either, and they are starters."
"For your information, Michels was at practice, being a nice responsible girl. And I realize Potter wasn't there, but I haven't been able to find him to yell at. Do you know where he is?"
"No," Sirius lied. "Listen, Mark, I just totally forgot. It won't happen again." When Mark still looked rather dangerous, he added peevishly, "I've had a lot on my mind, you know."
Mark's face relaxed slightly. "I know," he admitted. "But you need to keep up your Quidditch, Sirius. Don't forget we have practice again bright and early tomorrow morning. Remind Potter when you see him. Or else."
"Alright." Sirius wondered if he would really get off this easily.
"And," Mark said, starting to look dangerous again, "you will spend the rest of this morning tutoring our Muggle-born first years. Basic flying and Quidditch skills."
"Ah, you can't –" Sirius began, but Mark cut him off.
"I'm not just captain, Black, I'm also a prefect. You'll find that I can do that. You've got four pupils. They're waiting for you at the field."
Sirius groaned.
"I'll meet you there at twelve-thirty. If any of the kids look promising, I want to know."
Sirius was about to protest that he could hardly tell who looked promising, and besides, wasn't James going to be punished, but Mark had turned and walked away as quickly as Dumbledore.
Sirius fumed all the way to the Quidditch field, but by the end of the practice session, he was surprised to find himself feeling considerably more cheerful.
Early Sunday afternoon, Kathryn fell down the dormitory stairs again. Adriana clattered down towards her, laughing her head off.
"What is it with you?" she choked, extending a hand.
"I don't know!" Kathryn moaned. She took the proffered hand, but Adriana was too overcome by laughter to help her up. Kathryn grabbed the banister instead and hauled herself to her feet.
"Hey, Kathryn," a voice said as she turned around. Her heart jumped, and she wasn't sure if it was the surprise, or that it was him standing there – Sirius Black.
"Can we talk?" he said. Her mouth wouldn't move. What on earth could he want with her?
"Sure you can," Adriana said slyly, giving her a nudge. "Go on, Kattie."
"Don't call me that," Kathryn said automatically. "Alright . . ."
"Over here." Sirius beckoned to her as Adriana grinned widely and ran back up the stairs, presumably to tell Lily. Kathryn gritted her teeth and followed Sirius over to a corner of the common room.
"So?" she said impatiently when he seemed reluctant to speak. "What's eating you?" She eyed him critically, almost forgetting her nervousness. "Or should I say, what are you eating. Doesn't look like much. 'Specially for the Bottomless Pit."
"Don't call me that."
"Are you mimicking me?"
"Yes."
Kathryn wrinkled her nose at him. "If you don't have anything constructive to say –"
"What, you don't think teasing you is constructive?"
"No."
"Okay, okay." Sirius suddenly looked very uncomfortable. "Listen, Kathryn, I was wondering . . ."
Oh, Merlin. He's going to ask me out. For a split second Kathryn wondered what she would wear, then immediately hated herself for it.
" . . . Why have you three been acting so weird lately?"
It took a moment for Kathryn to register that the question contained absolutely no romantic connotations. Though she wasn't sure whether she was disappointed or relieved, she tried to act natural. "What, falling down the stairs? That's not weird for me, blockhead."
"Okay, now you sound normal."
Kathryn stared at him blankly. "Huh?"
"You three have been acting . . . different . . . towards us," Sirius said reluctantly.
"Huh?" Kathryn said again. "You think Lily yelling at you and me tripping is different? Hello! Where have you been for the past two years?"
"That's not what's different!" Sirius exclaimed. "You all bothering to find out what was going on, and talking to us all the time" – he made a face – "and scaring Shannon off, and Adriana sitting with Peter – that's not normal! Hello! Since when have we even been civil to each other?"
Kathryn was shocked; it had never occurred to her that they were acting any different. "Are you mimicking me?" she said weakly.
"Yeah."
There was an awkward silence.
"So," Sirius said finally. "You got an answer?"
"Well . . . it's just something you do, you know? I mean, I haven't even been thinking about –"
"That's why you looked so surprised."
"Yeah. Hasn't seemed odd to us . . . until now, anyway . . . You know what? You guys would do the same for us."
"Wishful thinking."
"I dunno. We used to be friends, remember? . . . What ever happened to that?"
"We decided hating each other was more fun?"
Kathryn smirked. "Well, it is!"
"'Hate' is a very strong word," a voice called from nearby.
"Adriana, go away!" Kathryn snapped without looking.
"She still says that, huh?"
"All the time."
"I resent that!" Adriana's voice singsonged.
"Either go away or shut up," Kathryn growled.
"Fine!"
Kathryn looked back at Sirius. "Well," he said, "I guess I just wanted to find out. But please . . . could you tell Lily to –"
"Lay off a little?"
"Actually, I was thinking lay off a lot."
"Do you want me to die?" Kathryn sighed. "I'll try, but I'm not making any promises."
"That's alright." Sirius looked very uncomfortable.
"Know what, though?" Kathryn said brightly. "When all this is over, we'll go back to hating the four of you." She paused, listening. "Good, Adriana's gone. Anyway, I'll think up and extra-special insult just for you. Promise."
Sirius grinned. "I guess I'll see you around?"
"Sure." Kathryn watched him walk away, feeling immensely proud of herself for making him smile. And suddenly, she understood. He was an okay guy at heart, and there was more to him and his friends than she had ever bothered to find out, even back in first year. But that didn't mean she had to like him or even – once all this was over – get along with him.
Ha! Kathryn said to herself, and she set off to find Lily and Adriana. Maybe – just maybe – she would even tell them of her epiphany.
At dinner that evening, a single owl swooped through the windows of the Great Hall, making straight for Professor Dumbledore. All four House tables fell silent, so rare an event evening post was. The headmaster rose from his chair and relieved the owl of its burden. His blue eyes swept over the letter and when they looked up, they were fixed on the Gryffindor table.
A flurry of whispers rushed through the Hall. Severus Snape looked delighted. "Oh my god, that can't be good," a Hufflepuff girl breathed.
"It's that one kid, isn't it?" one of the Ravenclaws hissed. "That third year – what's-his-face – Lupin!"
Meanwhile, three Gryffindor boys sat still as stone.
It transpired that Remus had taken a turn for the worse. Not even the threat of Lily's wrath could now keep James, Sirius and Peter from staking out the corridor in front of Dumbledore's office, figuring – probably correctly – that the headmaster would get news first.
When Lily showed signs of wanting to go after them, Kathryn pulled her down into her seat, saying, "It's not 'some desolate corridor at the end of the earth,' Lil, it's Dumbledore's office. Stop being such a busybody and eat."
"I'm not being a busybody!"
"Well, you're doing a very good impression of it. Eat."
"I'm not hungry."
"Neither am I. Eat anyway."
Adriana pushed her plate away and laid her head on the table. "Gosh, this stinks," she muttered.
"Stop saying that," Kathryn said irritably.
"She didn't say 'oh my gosh,' alright?" Lily put in. "But they'll be back for classes tomorrow."
"'Course they will," Adriana said from the table. "They came last week; they'll come now."
"And it's none of our business anyway," Kathryn said firmly. "Eat."
Adriana turned out to be right; all three boys turned up for classes the next day and worked harder than ever. James and Sirius exploded into a number of heated arguments, all of them over trivial things such as passing the horned slugs.
"James has progressed from not saying anything at all to not saying anything civil," Kathryn observed wryly.
"And he's still not saying much," Lily added. "How does he do that? We should make you try it."
"Ha, ha."
"It was only a matter of time," Peter confided to Adriana when he sat next to her in Charms. "It's amazing it didn't happen before. We need a peacemaker in this group."
By the time lunch rolled around, Sirius and James would have nothing to do with each other. Each tried to make Peter take his own side in whatever fight they were having, but Peter disliked the idea, to say the least. As a result, the three boys ate separately and refused to sit together during History.
"Hey, Kathryn!" Sirius called. "Can I sit with you?"
Kathryn had been about to take her seat next to Lily. "Why aren't you sitting with James?"
"'Cause he's being a prat."
"You're both being prats. I'm sitting with Lily." She sat down and busied herself with taking out her books. Sirius was forced to settle for Shannon, who was delighted.
After classes, Sirius and James were in agreement for the first time all day. They left for Dumbledore's office.
"Lily, shut up," Kathryn and Adriana said together.
"I didn't say anything!" Lily protested.
"Just shutting you up in advance," Kathryn told her.
"James, what'd you get for number fourteen?"
"X equals two c over –"
"Stop!" Peter cried. "I don't take Arithmancy!"
"I knew that!" James protested. "Ah, Runes. I'll tell you when I get there, yeah?"
Sirius was frowning at his own Arithmancy homework. "How'd you get two c? I got –"
James tossed a crumpled piece of parchment at his head and glared. Sirius got the message.
Peter had almost forgotten they were fighting. It now seemed much too quiet, until –
There was a low rumbling noise. Peter cocked his head; it was coming from behind the gargoyle.
"D'you hear that?" he said excitedly, jumping to his feet. "Listen, it's the stairs!" Someone must be coming down – but we didn't see Dumbledore – but he could've gone up before we got here – what does he do all day anyway?
Sirius stood up and put his ear to the wall. "Yeah, I hear them."
"The moment of truth," James muttered, and pulled himself up. He stared hard at Sirius, who still had his ear pressed to the wall.
"Sirius," Peter said, "move away from the wall."
"Hmm?"
"Stop listening to the stairs; Dumbledore'll think you're –" At that moment the gargoyle started to move, and Sirius jumped back so as not to be in its path.
"Hello, boys," Dumbledore said, not seeming at all surprised to find them there. All their eyes were instantly drawn to the official-looking letter in his hands. It looked just like the letter he had received from St. Mungo's the night before.
Of course, all letters look the same, Peter thought wildly. That might not be it.
"Is that . . ." Sirius began.
Dumbledore finally noticed what they were all staring at. "No need to get upset," he said. "Mr. Lupin will be just fine. He should be back with us in a few weeks. Now –"
"Merlin," James breathed. "Oh, sweet Merlin . . ." He sank to the floor and grinned widely up at the ceiling.
Sirius put a hand up to cover his eyes.
Peter found that he couldn't stop smiling. Oh, my God, it's over. It's all over and we can go back to normal . . . !
Sirius's shoulders were shaking, ever so slightly.
Oh, my God!
James bounced up, still grinning like a maniac, grabbed Sirius by his quaking shoulders, and attempted to calm him down: "C'mon, mate, it's okay, didn't you hear? Pull yourself together . . ."
Peter looked past them at Dumbledore, who was watching with what looked suspiciously like an amused smile. "Sir," Peter said, "when will Remus be back?"
"In a few weeks," Dumbledore repeated patiently.
"Cut it out before I hex you," James was saying threateningly.
"He'll really be all right?" Peter asked.
"Yes."
James finally gave up and kept one hand firmly on Sirius's shoulder as he asked, "How can they be sure?"
"One can never be sure," Dumbledore said simply. "Look at yourself, Mr. Potter. You could fall off your broom at Quidditch practice tomorrow and break your neck."
"Not likely," James muttered indignantly.
"You see that it is impossible to be sure," Dumbledore continued. "The Healers, however, have ways of being reasonably certain, all of which are far too complicated for an old man such as myself to understand, so I will not attempt to explain them to you."
Peter had the feeling that the headmaster simply did not want to explain. He didn't particularly mind.
"Now, I suggest you go up to your common room and share the good news with the rest of your classmates."
"Yeah," James said, grinning. He shook Sirius. "C'mon, let's go."
"The girls'll want to know," Sirius said suddenly as they walked away.
"What girls?"
"The girls."
"Oh, right, those girls. We'll tell 'em when we see 'em."
"Don't you think . . ." Sirius hesitated. "We kinda owe it to them . . . they should know first?"
James stared. "Wow. You've developed a sense of honor."
Sirius was indignant. "I am a Gryffindor after all."
"Really? I'd never've guessed!" James smirked and then ducked as Sirius lunged for him. He took off down the corridor, laughing wildly, and Sirius chased after him.
Peter grinned. Yes, things were definitely going back to normal.
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