Chapter 1: Reality and Want
Sora let out a long sigh as he looked out at the sunset. He'd been sleeping on the beach all day and the fact that Kairi nor Riku had bothered him, seemed kinda strange. He scratched the back of his head, losing himself to thought. His brown hair blew in the wind, though barely ruffling his spikes out of place. Sora let out a long sigh and stood up, sand falling off his back. Sora barely even noticed considering he'd lived out here all his life, so a little sand on him wasn't going to bother him at all.
He glanced back at the sunset one last time, his red and blue clothes seeming to reflect the remains of the sun. Without warning a blitz ball hit him in the back of the head. He fell face first into the sand, this time it had gotten to him. He jumped up and glared at none other than Wakka.
"You know... That sand really suits you." Wakka said, tossing the blitz ball up and down in his hands.
Sora quickly dusted himself off, "What was that for, anyway?"
"You looked like you needed a wake up call," Wakka said as he watched the ball go up and down. Right when it came back into his hands he launched it at Sora again.
Out of instinct Sora jumped dodging it by two inches, as it, instead, hit the water.
"Hey!" Sora yelled at him in return.
"What! Come on... You know you wanna play." Wakka said in a sing-song voice.
"No thanks... I need to find Riku first." Sora said as he walked off, for once in his life turning down a challenge.
"You... Not want to play? Riku hasn't come to wake you up yet, has he?" Wakka asked as he went to retrieve his ball. He suddenly got very serious making Sora stop in his tracks. "You should stop this Sora. Riku's only going to hurt you."
"I don't care... I'll stay with Riku till the end." Sora said before running off towards the shack. A few tears trailing behind.
"Poor Sora. I wish he'd give up already... Riku's not the same kid he used to be." Wakka said more to himself as he turned and walked for the docks, Tidus already waiting for him, though he'd seen what happened he didn't want to mention it to Riku, he'd only get pounded again.
Sora ran up the wooden stairs and opened the big door seperating him from the bridge to the small Poupu island. No Kairi. No Riku. He'd expected that, but he didn't expect it to hurt so bad. He slowly walked across the bridge getting a good look of the island.
All he saw was Stephanie getting into he boat to leave, Tidus and Wakka already out of sight. 'Maybe their in the secret hideout!' Sora thought to himself. he jumped off the bridge, something he usually didn't do, but he really wanted to see Riku.
Sora found himself running full speed, his accessories makig soft clings as he ran. He didn't stop until he was to the entrance and even then he was crawling as fast as he could, until he could stand again. Really not wanting to scare them, he walked the rest of the way, stopping at the corner when he heard voices. He didn't know why he stopped, he just felt like he was intruding.
"Kairi... We've been friends for how long now... And well--" Riku began, but Kairi interupted him.
"Riku! What are you saying?" Kairi's voice sounded shaky and a bit scared.
"Kairi..." Sora heard her gasp. "I love you. I've always loved you, since the first day we meet."
Sora felt like his heart was being ripped out, yet he couldn't move, he had to hear the rest of it.
"--Let's go away. Just you and me." Riku sounded so sure of himself. 'Did he even care about me at all?' Sora thought, unshed tears blurring his vision.
"What about Sora?"
"What about Sora? All I care about is you." Riku's voice fet like a stake through his heart. 'He never cared about me. He never cared at all? Then why... Why did he always hang around me? Was it to impress Kairi?' Sora thoughts ran a mile a minute giving him only more unanswered questions and one explaination. Riku loved Kairi and he didn't care about him.
Suddenly, Sora's legs worked and he was filled with one comand get out of there, get as far away from there as possible.
Riku heard footsteps cut through the silence. He let go of Kairi and ran after the sound. Riku crawled out of the secret area and saw what looked like Sora running across the bridge.
'Oh no... He heard me.' That was all Riku could think of as he sprinted for the old shack.
He was running across the bridge in no time, it was alot darker now and it was harder to see who was standing on the island. He slowed to a walk when he got to the island. The person turned around. It was Sora. Riku had been wishing that it was someone else, but he wasn't granted that wish. Riku looked Sora over, he still had remains of sand all over his clothes, his hair was a mess and tears,and tears were running down his red cheeks.
"Why!" Sora lashed out, his voice dry and full of anger.
"Sora I--" Riku began, but he really didn't know what to say to him. Not now.
Riku barely had time to dodge Sora's fist as he lunged at him anger and confusion making him look older than he normally did. Riku turned around in time to watch Sora hit the ground, side first. He turned to his back and looked at Riku, tears stopping, his face fixed in a permanent frown. This wasn't the Sora he knew.
"I HATE YOU!" Sora screamed at the top of his lungs. He turned away from Riku and ran to the bridge then jumped off, barely pausing as he ran across the beach towards his boat. This shocked Riku, Sora had always been too scared to jump off the bridge.
Kairi came out of the secret cave to see a red faced Sora run towards the docks. He
basically jumped the steps, untied his boat and began to row away. Kairi was sure that Sora had beaten a record, if they had one for leaving.
She looked over and saw Riku running after him. He easily got to the docks right when Sora went to leave. Kairi's eyes went wide as Riku attempted to jump from the dock to Sora's boat, Sora not even stopping to aknowledge Riku. She ran for Riku, scared for his safety, but she was too late, he jumped. Sora was so far out that he couldn't of made it. Sora couldn't help, but scream stop, he still cared for his friend even if it was one way. Riku didn't listen, he jumped. He didn't land in the boat, his aim was off, instead he hit the side of it with his stomach causing it to flip.
Riku crenged in pain and Sora yelped as they were plunged into the cold water. Riku passed out as Sora came to the top of the surface. After a few seconds Sora went down, panic setting in. He may not have been as good of a swimmer as Riku, but he could still help. He quickly spotted Riku, his muscles aching for him to stop, but he couldn't. Not till Riku was safe. He wrapped an arm around Riku's waist and he kicked his feet as hard as he could muster in the cold water.
After what felt like hours, he broke the surface, holding Riku's head obove the water as he came to the shore, just to the right of the dock. Riku let out a cough and he spit out the water that was filling his lungs. Sora sat on his knees, trying to catch his breath. Kairi kneeled beside Riku and placed a hand on his arm. Sora took that as a sign to leave. He went back into the water. Not really wanting to, but it was the only way to try and retieve the boat. He swam back to the spot to find that it had sunk.
Sora went under and tried to pull it, but it wouldn't budge. He wanted to get home, but now it seemed impossible. He began to feel his lungs ache making him remember that he was in the water. Sora swam for the surface breaking it in seconds. He let out a big gasp, the warm breeze feeling like ice as he swam for the dock. He pulled himself into Kairi's boat, not caring who's it was. He could feel himself shaking. He knew he'd get pnemonia if he didn't get warm. For some reason Sora found himself smiling. It was then that he didn't care how sick he got, it was the thought that he could die, that gave him comfort. Everything he had known and cared for was a lie. He didn't have a reason to live. He closed his eyes welcoming the cold as he lay shivering in that boat.
Kairi helped Riku get to his feet as they both walked up the stairs to get to the dock.
They were shocked to find Sora laying in Kairi's boat. The only movement that even showed that Sora was alive was the violent shaking. He was going to die if he didn't get warm. Sora's hair looked dull and his skin was ghostly pale.
"Kairi. Help me put him into my boat. I'll be easier for me to take him home."Riku said as he lowed himself to him own boat, beside Kairi's.
"But you're still hurt." Kairi began to protest.
"Yes, but you won't be able to get him home in time." Riku said as he grabbed the edge of her boat and brought them together. Kairi sighed and carefully lowered herself into her boat. With alot of difficulty they finally got Sora into Riku's boat.
"I'm sorry about this Kairi."
"Don't appologize, just go." Kairi said as she pointed towards the other islands in the distance.
"Alright." Riku said and he began to row away.
Kairi watched them for awhile, until she decided to go home as well.
Riku rowed as hard as he could always keeping an eye on Sora. He was starting to panic from the fact that Sora's lips were turning blue. Riku himself was still sore from the could water and the side of his stomach ached as well, but he wasn't about to show it.
Riku was about to pass his house when he decided to stop. He quickly docked and picked up Sora bridal style. The tips of his fingers were light blue and his lips had turned a dark blue now.
"Hold on Sora," Riku whispered as he jumped onto the dock and ran inside, for once glad that his family barely came home.
Within' seconds he'd unlocked his door, flung it open with his left hand, and was running upstairs.
He let out a small sigh as he placed Sora on his bed. He grabbbed as many blankets as he could find out of the hall closet and set them by Sora's feet. Sora still shivered, but it wasn't as bad. He began stripping Sora of his accessories and then his jacket and shirt. He felt wrong for doing this, but Sora was going to freeze to death if he didn't. The pants went next. Sora was left in his boxers, and Riku sighed deeply went he noticed that Sora's boxers were wet too. He took a blanket and spread it over Sora.
He really didn't want to see anything. He pulled at the pant of his boxers, them suprisingly coming off easily. He tossed them in a pile with the rest of Sora's clothes and threw the rest of the blankets over him.
Riku smiled finally finishing his task. He gathered up Sora's clothes and flung them over a wooden rocking chair that hadn't been touched in forever. Sora's accessories, Riku placed them on the nightstand by Sora. He didn't see a need to watch Sora the entire time so he changed into some dry clothes, a black t-shirt and a pair of black, cotton jeans. He threw his wet clothes with Sora's and sat down in one of his chairs watching Sora closely to see if there were any changes. Sora wasn't shaking, but his lips and complection hadn't changed one bit.
After watching him for several minutes, he really hadn't noticed, but he'd fallen asleep.
His dreams scolded him for ever saying that he didn't care. Infact, in his dream Sora had held his hand out for him, a smile on his face. Then he faded away when Riku got close enough to grab his hand.
After that had happened, the dream shifted. He was then surrounded by all of his friends, all of them, but Sora. They all spoke at the same time, saying that he didn't deserve Sora and that he was better off never meeting him. But what had really woke him up was when they all backed away and Kairi stepped up.
"You don't love me. You never did. You love Sora, you were just too stupid to admit it... Now he's going to die because of you." Kairi's words were cold and hollow.
Riku bolted up, almost falling out of his chair. His wet hair had long dried and rays of sunlight were peaking through the blinds. He didn't love Sora. Sora was a boy. Boys are not supposed to like boys. 'I love Kairi... Don't I?' Riku didn't want to think anymore, he instead watched Sora, Sora's hair was still a bit wet.
He watched Sora for several minutes until he moved going for the bed. He hopped onto the bed and crawled on his knees over to Sora's side, sitting beside him. He touched Sora's shoulder... Cold. He lightly shook Sora, calling his name a couple of times hoping he'd wake up; But he didn't.
"God damn it Sora, open your eyes!" Riku yelled looking at him frustrated.
'Open my eyes... Why?' Sora thought, conciousness still far from him.
"Sora... You have to wake up!"
'I don't want to. No one cares, I have no reason to.'
"Sora please." Riku said looking down on Sora worriedly. He buried his head into the
bankets at Sora's chest, trying to hold back tears.
'Wait. Riku... Why do you want me to wake up? You said you didn't care.'
Riku couldn't hold it back any longer. A tear fell to the blanket then he full out cried,
hoping, wishing, that his friend would be okay.
'Riku. Don't cry. I'm Sorry.' Sora thought as he opened his eyes to see Riku crying into the five blankets that covered him. He placed a shaky hand on Riku's head making him pull himself from the blankets. He saw a pale Sora with a small smile on his face.
"Don't cry Riku. I'm okay, I promise." Sora said as he wipped away Riku's tears. Riku looked at him with wide eyes. He still cared, even after what he'd done to him.
"Sora, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't of ever said thoughs things. I wasn't thinking--" He was cut off when Sora put a finger to his lips.
"I don't need an explaination. I can't hate you. I tried and I can't. In fact I found something out." He removed his finger and sat up a bit. "I found that I'm in love with you. Even if it's only one sided, I'll never leave you. I tried and apparently I failed--" Sora said softly, his lips still in a smile.
"Sora... You... You--" For once Riku couldn't say more than two words. What Sora said changed everything.
"It's okay Riku, I don't expect anything in return." Sora said. He was going to sit up all the way, but he finally realized that he was naked and stayed under the blankets.
"Sora. Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Riku said still a bit in shock.
"I didn't realize it until I heard you say that you loved Kairi. All I knew before was that I never wanted to leave your side." Sora stated.
Sora lunged forward, pushing his lips into Riku's. Riku felt like he should kiss back, but he was so confused. Guys are not supposed to like guys. That's the way it was. Yet Riku desperately wanted to kiss back. To take control of it and--
Riku pushed Sora back and held his hand over his mouth like he'd just contracted a disease. Sora looked shocked at first, but as if expecting it he smiled sadly and looked down.
"I'm sorry. I just wanted to know... If you felt the same way, but you don't." Sora looked up after he spoke to see Riku sitting against the post of bed as if deciding on something, too unsure of what to pick.
An uneasy silence fell upon them, Riku the first to break it.
"I'll get you some clothes," Riku said as he hopped off the bed and walked over to his dresser, opening up random drawers in search of something that'll fit Sora.
Sora tried not to look at Riku, but he found himself staring as Riku rummaged through his drawers, finally finding something. Sora snapped out of it when Riku turned around, folded clothes in hand.
"Here. They're old, but they should fit you." Riku tossed the clothes onto the blankets and walked out.
Sora sighed and pulled himself out of the blankets, shivering from the room temperature. He let his feet touch the wooden floor before he attempted to stand making sure he could still walk.
He grabbed the clothes and inspected them. A black t-shirt, that looked like it'd be too tight for him and a pair of dark blue baggy jeans... Sora looked under the jeans to find a pair of black boxers.
He looked toward the doorway, convinced that Riku wasn't looking and slipped on the black boxers as fast as his cold body would let him.The jeans came next. The waist fit him perfect, but the pant legs were big and baggy on him. He looked at the door again, then put the shirt on finding that it was indeed too tight. It made him look two sizes smaller than usual, his waist looking firm and fit even though he still held his baby fat. The shirt was suprisingly comfortable and didn't cut off his breathing. He walked past the door and went into the bathroom looking at himself in a full size mirror. He liked the look, even if he wasn't used to all the black, he still liked it.
"So you like the outfit, huh?"
Sora jumped and turned around to see Riku leaning against the door frame in a lazy pose, still pulling off that cool look.
"Um... Yeah." Sora said scratching the back of his head and blushing slightly.
"Well, you can stay for awhile, but you should go home before your mother wonders were you went."
Sora's muscles stiffened and he sprinted past Riku heading straight for the phone by Riku's computer. Riku couldn't help, but laugh as Sora had a serious look on his face and he was dialing the numbers furiously.
"Um... Mom?" Sora began as he started to pace, the cordless phone up to his right ear. "Mom...? Can you pick up?" He sighed. "Well, I'm at Riku's and I'll be going to Destiny Island after a while so I'll see you tonight, okay?" Sora stopped pacing and pressed the 'off' button. Sora looked to his right to see Riku watching him, his cheeks turned a slight pink, but he turned away and hung it back up on the reciever, hoping that Riku hadn't seen it. Riku had seen it, but he didn't think anything of it. He really just tried to keep his usual personality up, he didn't want to think of what happened, he just wanted everything to go back to normal.
"Sora, no ones going to Destiny Island today, church, remember?" Riku stated crossing his arms.
"I know. I usually go there anyways, it lets me think... Plus I don't have to worry about you or Kairi bothering me when I sleep." He smiled covering up his sadness when he spoke of Kairi and Riku at the same time, but he'd never show it, he did it once and he didn't plan on doing it again. Even if he couldn't be with Riku, he'd be there if he needed him.
"Maybe I should go with you and think too..." Riku said chuckling.
"It's okay, you don't have to, I'll be fine." Sora said and looked at the time, 8:45. 'Might as well go now,' Sora thought and walked for the door.
"Sora, your boat sank and I know it'll take more than you to get it up, and besides, how are you going to get there...? Don't even think about stealing mine either." Riku said making Sora stop sigh in defeat.
"Fine. Come on." Sora said and started walking for the door again. Riku casually stood up and stretched. Then he followed Sora out, his mind still rambling on about what had happened less than an hour ago, even though Riku tried ignored it.
Tell me if I got there personalities wrong. I'm not much of a fic writer for kingdom hearts and I may have over dramatized there reations.