The only sound in the recovery room was coming from the steady beeping of the heart monitor. Billy knew enough about medicine to know that her heartbeat was normal again. He watched the oscillating line for a moment, as if he wanted to make sure Alex was really alive. He forced himself to get closer to the bed she was lying in. She still looked so fragile, so vulnerable that he was almost afraid to touch her. An IV was attached to her left arm and she was intubated, but breathing on her own. Various cables vanished underneath her gown. It creeped Billy out seeing her like this. Emotions were trying to find a way out, feelings he had bottled up way too long.

Gently, Billy took Alex's right hand, feeling her, letting her feel that she was not alone.

"I'm here," he heard himself say without even realising he had said something. Billy pulled a chair closer to her bed and let himself sink into it. He couldn't take his eyes off of her.

"You scared me good, little Lady," he whispered.

"I thought I had lost you…"

He took a deep breath to keep the tears inside, but it didn't work. His eyes watered and he could feel them running down his cheeks.

Suddenly, it was all back. The fear. Billy could feel the cold metal of the gun barrel on his temple. He swallowed hard. He had never been more afraid in his whole life than in that moment. Yes he had. Discovering Alex wasn't breathing anymore, thinking he had lost her.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, rested his head near Alex's arm and let his emotions flow…

A steady beeping made it through to her mind. She felt exhausted and her body was aching.

She remembered the shop. She wanted to get everything for their BBQ at the firehouse.

She heard the shot again and knew what had happened.

Alex felt a presence next to her. With an Herculean effort, she opened her eyes and had to blink a few times to get used to the light again.

Billy's head was resting next to her arm. He looked just as tired as she felt. It took her a moment to realise he was crying. She felt a pinch to her heart. She felt she couldn't speak, so all she could do was move her arm slightly, so her hand would touch Billy's hair. She gently stroke his head, a weak attempt to comfort him.

Billy startled by the sudden touch and spun around, only to see Alex awake.

"Hey!" he gently said and got up. His hair was all messed up and he looked as if he had slept in his blue FDNY sweater.
Alex tried to talk, but she couldn't. Billy gently put a finger on her mouth.

"You can't speak yet…you've just been extubated couple of hours before…" he told her.

She nodded weakly and signed him to move closer to her again. He pulled the chair close and sat down again.

"You scared us good…"

Alex made an apologising face and moved her hands up to touch Billy's face. His eyes were red and his cheeks wet. He looked awful. Feeling her hand, Billy realised what he must look like and dried his face with his sweater.

"Don't you ever do this to me again, okay?" he sighed, referring to the touch and go they went through.

He drew a deep breath, preparing to what he was about to tell her, since she couldn't talk back at the moment. He had held it back way too long, it was time now. He looked away from those beautiful blue eyes he had loved the first time he had seen them and faced the floor.

"I thought I had lost you…When you weren't breathing, it felt like a part of me was dying."

He looked up again, seeing Alex's eyes water.

"It's true, Alex…I love you…I have loved you from the first day you went into the Squad."

Now tears were running down her face. He reached over and wiped them away. Then, he slowly moved forward, until his face was close to hers and her blue eyes locked on his brown ones. She slightly nodded.

Next thing she knew, she felt Billy's lips finding hers…