Disclaimer: 'Stargate SG1' and all the characters associated with the show belong to someone who isn't me. As I doubt that the owners would be willing to trade their rights for some magic beans that aren't in any way magical, this is not going to change at any point in the foreseeable future.

Author's Note: Some swearing in this chapter.

Chapter Four

Lieutenant Simmons looked near tears.

He had been able to end the dialing sequence before a wormhole had been successfully established, but not before the alarm for unauthorized 'gate activation had gone off, bringing at least half a dozen security personnel running, together with the men of SG-1.

To say that Colonel O'Neill had not been impressed with him would have been an understatement of considerable proportions.

Once the unfortunate lieutenant had been duly squashed with a few well-chosen words, Jack turned his attention to the small culprit still sitting in Simmons' chair, fully intending to scold her, but the combination of pigtails, dimples and the big blue eyes gazing innocently up at him proved to be his undoing.

He briefly wondered if Jacob Carter had ever been able to bring himself to yell at his daughter when she had been this young and cute. If he had, he was made of sterner stuff than Jack had thought.

Despite his best efforts to maintain a stern visage, Jack could not keep a smile from tugging at the corners of his mouth.

After all, it was impressive that the four year old had been able to remember Lieutenant Simmons' pass code when she had only seen him enter it once and she hadn't intended to cause trouble, she had just been curious…

A muffled snigger from Daniel made him look up. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing." Daniel hastily choked down his laughter, nudging Teal'c and pointing towards the monitor. The Jaffa smiled slightly, his equivalent of rolling on the floor laughing.

"Come on, now." Jack said, imitating his fourth grade teacher perfectly. "Share the joke with the rest of the class."

"The coordinates Sam entered…" The archeologist broke off, laughing.

"Samantha Carter entered the coordinates for P6J-614." Teal'c informed him, without a hint of humor.

It only took a couple of seconds for the pieces to click together in Jack's head.

P6J-614, known as Pirat to the locals, also known as the home of three formidable old dowagers, all more than a little on the overweight side, whose determination to turn one Jack O'Neill into their shared consort had been truly terrifying to behold.

"Shit!" He exclaimed, horrified. "They don't know that it was us trying to get through, right?"

"I'm sure they don't, Jack." Daniel reassured him solemnly.

"It is most unlikely, O'Neill."

"Doesn't the iris stop bad people coming in?" Little Sam queried innocently. "Graham said so."

"I think you're safe." Daniel teased.

Reassured somewhat, Jack bent down to Sam's level. "We never, ever dial that address, understand?"

"Can I try that one?" She pointed at one of the sequences.

Simmons gave a cough that sounded remarkably like 'black hole planet'.

"Uh, not that one either. Or that one."

Lunchtime

It seemed as if everybody on base had synchronized their schedule to be in the commissary while SG-1, complete with their youngest member, were eating lunch.

"We should try selling tickets." Jack commented dryly when the fifth person who had come over 'just to say hi' had left. "I could retire… again."

"Sam is pretty cute like this." Daniel offered.

"She's cute as an adult, but people don't come over to gawk at her then." Seemingly unaware of what he had just said, Jack scooped up a forkful of his meal and chewed, frowning. "What do they put in this stuff?"

"Perhaps it is best that we do not know." Teal'c said seriously.

"True."

"Can I have some jello, please?" Sam piped up.

"Sure. Want Daniel to get it for you?" Jack offered, ignoring his friend's indignant "Hey!"

"No, thank you. I can get it myself." Sam climbed down from her chair and headed over to the counter, bumping into General Hammond as he entered the room.

"Hi Uncle George."

"Hi sweetheart." He smiled down at her. "What are you up to?"

"Getting dessert."

"Okay." He patted her head before making his way to SG-1's table. "How are you finding childcare?" He asked the guys, a twinkle in his eye.

"Slightly better than facing Apophis." Jack responded honestly.

Hammond chuckled. "I heard about the incident in the control room."

"Carter's just too smart for her own good."

"Luckily for us." The general smiled as he watched the little girl who had grown up to figure out how the stargate worked and save Earth and several other planets threaded her way through the tables, a bowl of blue jello carried carefully in both hands.

She was just a few yards away from them when she stumbled, managing to avoid falling, but unable to save her dessert, which ended up decorating the floor.

"Shit!"

Somehow the word sounded so much worse coming from the angelic looking little girl.

"Samantha Carter!" Hammond scolded. "Where did you hear that word, young lady?"

Jack winced when she pointed at him. 'Tell tale!'

The general, armed with years of experience with his children and grandchildren, managed to resist the urge to smile and to keep his frown firmly in place. "I think that you need a timeout, to think about why that kind of talk is not acceptable."

"That's not fair." Sam pouted. "Why do I have to have a timeout? Colonel O'Neill said it too. Shouldn't he get one as well?"

Jack forced out a laugh. "Kids say the strangest things."

To his dismay, his commanding officer seemed to give Sam's argument serious consideration. "You know, she has a point."

'He can't be serious… right?'

Hammond's office

"This is all your fault!"

"No talking in timeout." Hammond told Jack sternly, not troubling to hide his smile now that the pair were turned away from him, seated in opposite corners of his office.

Jack turned his head to glare at little Sam, who didn't seem nearly as sweet or adorable as she had a few minutes ago.

Hammond's punishment didn't seem to be troubling her in the slightest. She was swinging her legs gently back and forth, seemingly lost in thought. He didn't think that he wanted to know what she was plotting.

Sighing deeply, he returned his gaze to the wall, looking up only when the general cleared his throat.

"Alright, Sam, that's four minute, you're free to go. Teal'c is waiting for you."

"Finally!" Jack all but leapt out of his seat.

"Not so fast, Jack." Hammond raised a hand, halting Jack's escape. "I have it on good authority that a timeout lasts a minute for every year of the child's age."

"You're kidding."

"I'm not. Sit."

Scowling, Jack took a seat and resumed his intensive study of the wall.

It was official: Hammond was evil.

TBC.

Author's Note: That's all for now. I'll update as soon as I can, but in the meantime, please review and if anybody has any requests, let me know.