Disclaimer: 'Stargate SG1' and all the characters associated with the show belong to someone who isn't me. As I doubt that the owners would be willing to trade their rights for some magic beans that aren't in any way magical, this is not going to change at any point in the foreseeable future.

Chapter Six

The next day

"Can we go to see the lions first?"

"I too would like to see the lions. And then the elephants."

"They've got an exhibit with great models of dinosaurs. I want to see that."

Jack groaned slightly. Once Janet had cleared her to leave the base, Sam had decided that she wanted to go to the zoo and as her word seemed to be law where 'Uncle George' was concerned, the adult members of SG-1 had been ordered to take her.

Ordinarily, he would have had no problems with this assignment; after all, touring a zoo was infinitely preferable to bring cooped up in the mountain, slaving over a stack of paperwork but he had been counting on taking one child to the zoo with two adults aiding him and he felt more like he was chaperoning three children.

Teal'c, with a hotdog in one hand and a map of the zoo in the other, had entered into the spirit of the outing with the same enthusiasm as little Sam, determined to fully explore the zoo and as soon as Daniel had heard about the dinosaur exhibition, nothing would satisfy him except a chance to visit it.

"They will be feeding the penguins at 1400, O'Neill." Teal'c said solemnly, consulting his guide. "We should ensure that we eat lunch early so that we can be there on time."

"Good idea." Jack agreed. "Let's go to see the lions first, and the dinosaurs later, okay?" The other three nodded.

"I'm hungry." Sam announced less than five minutes later. "Can I have an ice cream, please?"

"Okay." Jack agreed. There were still a few hours to go before lunch and junk food was an essential part of a zoo trip, after all.

"If you're getting one for Sam, can you grab one for me too?" Daniel asked immediately.

"I would also enjoy an ice cream, O'Neill."

Jack sighed. He had a feeling that this was going to be a long day

Once they had discovered the petting zoo, tearing Sam and Teal'c away from it proved an impossibility.

Daniel had whipped out his digital camera and was taking pictures of little Sam cuddling a rabbit in her lap when a nudge from Jack directed his attention to Teal'c and he quickly snapped off a shot.

After all, how often did one see a Jaffa warrior enraptured by a baby lamb?

"Colonel O'Neill?" Sam tugged at the hem of Jack's shirt.

"Yes?"

"Mr Einstein wants to come home with us."

"Who's Mr Einstein?"

"He is." She showed him the rabbit in her arms.

"Oh." Somehow, he doubted that that had been the name given to the rabbit by the zoo.

"He said that he wants to come and live with me." The little girl told him with utmost seriousness. "Can I keep him?"

"I don't think that's going to be possible." He said gently, wincing inwardly as her face fell and her lower lip trembled. "Mr Einstein lives at the zoo. He's going to have to stay here. This is where all the other rabbits, and all of his other friends, live. You wouldn't want him to be lonely without them, would you?"

"I guess not." Sam hugged Mr Einstein tightly before setting him down. "Will I be able to come back and visit him? Will you bring me back? Please?"

"Sure." He assured her, wondering if the adult Sam would hold him to that.

"Okay." She still looked a little sad as she wandered away to make the acquaintance of the other animals, including the lamb Teal'c was feeding.

Nudging Daniel, Jack spoke quietly. "If Teal'c decides that he wants to keep the lamb, you get to be the one to explain why he can't."

An hour later

"Colonel O'Neill?"

"Yes?" Jack asked, steeling himself against having to explain why Sam couldn't take a tiger back to Cheyenne mountain.

"What are those tigers doing?"

Following her gaze, Jack swore under his breath and managed to keep himself from clapping a hand over the little girl's eyes. "They're just playing."

"They're making a baby." Another child, a boy a few years older, said superciliously when he heard her question.

"How does doing that make a baby?"

Before the young tiger expert could explain, his mother pulled him away, blushing and muttering apologies.

"Colonel?" Sam persisted. "How do babies get made?"

'This is not happening!' "Daniel?" Jack gave his friend an appealing look. "I think that you would be the best person to explain this, don't you?"

"I don't think so."

"Teal'c?"

"I do not believe that that would be an appropriate matter for me to discuss with a young girl." From that stance, he would not be budged.

"As her commanding officer – future commanding officer – I think that this should really be your responsibility." Daniel said, smirking.

"Funnily enough, this wasn't in the job description." Jack growled, before glancing at Sam, who was still waiting.

"Where do babies come from?"

For once in his life, Jack O'Neill felt no shame whatsoever about taking the coward's way out.

"That's classified."

To his immense relief, Sam, though disappointed, accepted his excuse. Jack considered it poetic justice when, about ten minutes later as they were watching a lion prowling through his habitat, the four year old tugged on Daniel's hand.

"I have to go."

Daniel's face went from puzzled while he tried to work out where she wanted to go, to pale when he understood what she was asking before settling on red when he realized that neither of the other men were planning on volunteering to undertake the task.

"Go on, Daniel." Jack encouraged. "You can take Carter to the ladies' and catch up with us."

"Fine." Taking Sam's hand, Daniel led her off in search of a bathroom.

As soon as they had left, Jack turned to Teal'c with a grin. "Somewhere up there, there's a non-snake infested god that likes me."

A short distance away, Daniel, though not echoing his friend's words, was certainly echoing the sentiment, grateful beyond words that little Sam had insisted that she did not need him to accompany her into the bathroom or help her in any way.

A few minutes later, she emerged from the bathroom and took his hand again.

"I'm ready."

"Great. Let's go catch up with Jack and Teal'c."

"Where were we supposed to go next?"

For the second time in less than quarter of an hour, Daniel's face paled as he realised that he had no idea what their next destination was supposed to have been.

Five minutes later

"I think we're lost."

"We are not lost!" Daniel said, more sharply than he had intended. "I know exactly where we are - right by the monkey house, see?"

"But you don't know where the Colonel and Teal'c are, do you?" Sam asked shrewdly.

"No." The archaeologist's admission was reluctant. He mentally kicked himself for forgetting to bring his cellphone. That little piece of technology could have saved a lot of trouble right now.

"If you don't know where they are and I don't know where they are, it means that we're lost." The little girl told him in a tone that brooked no argument.

"We are not... okay, we're lost." Daniel conceded at last, knowing that she was right.

"It's going to be okay, Daniel." Little Sam squeezed his hand comfortingly, her keen blue eyes scanning the area for a few minutes before she smiled. "I know what to do." Dropping his hand, she sped off.

It took a moment for Daniel to realize what she had planned. "Sam, no! Stop!"

He was too late.

The tinny voice filtering through the loudspeakers sounded impossibly loud as it called for the parents or guardians of Samantha Carter and Daniel Jackson to make their way to the Lost and Found office to collect them.

"Be careful, Danny, no wandering off." Jack said, the delighted grin on his face spoiling his attempt at sounding serious.

"Shall I hold your hand, Daniel Jackson?" Teal'c offered gravely. "We do not want you to get lost again."

Although there was not the faintest hint of humor showing on Teal'c's face, Daniel knew that he was enjoying the situation as much as Jack was. He had sounded utterly serious when he had loudly announced to those in the Lost and Found office that he was the other man's official guardian, while Jack had claimed little Sam, praising her for her quick thinking.

The Jaffa warrior had definitely been working on his sense of humor, but Daniel was no longer certain that this was a good thing.

Jack was a bad influence.

Even the zoo employee, who had been inclined at first to be embarrassed that she had made the announcement so hastily, without seeing the second 'lost child', had quickly gotten over it and, at the urging of a delighted Jack, had presented the red-faced Daniel with a lollipop and a badge announcing to all and sundry that he had been a very brave boy.

Sam had refused to give him a moment's peace until he put it on.

"It's just about time for lunch." Jack announced, picking Sam up and sitting her on his shoulders. "Anyone fancy McDonalds?"

"Me!" Sam called eagerly.

"I would like a Happy Meal." Teal'c said seriously. "But we must not forget the penguins' meal at 1400."

"We won't, big guy." Jack assured him. "Daniel?"

"Fine by me."

"It's unanimous, then." Settling Sam more comfortably, Jack smirked at Daniel. "Maybe you should take Teal'c up on his offer and hold his hand. After all, next time you get lost, Sam mightn't be there."

Daniel scowled. He knew well that this particular anecdote would soon be doing the rounds of the SGC and he had a pretty good idea who would be spreading it.

Untroubled by the other man's glare, Jack led the way to the restaurant, still grinning.

If this didn't outdo the stories and laughter circulating about his timeout, nothing would.

TBC

Author's Note: Please don't forget to review, and if there are any requests, let me know. There'll also be a visitor either in the next chapter, or the one after.