Chapter 2: In complete...

In the distance over the buildings across the street, Roger could clearly see the name of some glitzy New York club spelled in lights. He hadn't cried this time. After the initial shock the last time he'd thought this had happened to him, Roger began expecting, almost wishing for her timely death. It's not that he didn't love her; there was nobody in the world he loved more than Mimi. She was the absolute center of his universe, it was just that everybody knew it was going to happen sooner or later; it was just a matter of when. Roger hated thinking this way; he hated the thought of his impending death feeling the same way in his friends' eyes. He had just convinced himself that he wasn't affected by it, but sooner or later, it would catch up to him. Hard. He breathed in one last time, the cool yet warm autumn night, and walked inside from the balcony of his loft apartment. It seemed that everybody around him tightened their shoulders and stopped their breathing when he walked back into the room. He wasn't used to being the center of attention, in fact, he rarely remembered a time when his friends all stopped to look at him at once. To reassure the crowd, Roger attempted a smile, the bottom part of his lip pushed up to hold this grin on his top lip. The silence still held. Besides the fact that Benny was still blubbering in the corner, nobody dared to speak a word. They all knew Roger commanded the stage; it was choice that everybody would obey.

"Do any of you want some coffee?" these were words that Mark never expected to hear from Rogers lips. The tone in Rogers voice seemed nonchalant, even concerned for his friends. Mark couldn't help but think something was terribly wrong with Roger, but instead of causing a scene, Mark decided that maybe right now a little lightening of the mood might do well to some of the other people sulking around in his loft.

"I think we could all use some." Joanne said completely out of the blue, almost taking the words right out from underneath Mark's feet. Still, with the few nods, the silent agreement came to the opinion that coffee was exactly what everybody needed at this very moment. Mark nodded and followed Roger over to the kitchen area. Mark came to the conclusion that he needed to talk to Roger now but it was best not to do it in front of everyone. Taking the coffee pot from off the Mr. Coffee, Roger poured out the day old coffee that he was sure wouldn't impress any of these New Yorkers. Mark leaned against the counter, palms curving along the sides. "Roger." he said, almost accusingly.

It was the most painful way he'd ever heard anybody call his name. It was like he was accusing him of letting her die. Still he tried his best to lighten the mood of the room and looked up, pretending not to hear the worry in Mark's voice. "What's up?" he inquired.

It made Mark want to cry for the first time in years when he heard the coolness of Rogers' response. How could anybody be so calm after their best friend and lover died? He sighed instead. "I know you feel the need to be strong, for everybody else, but now is not the time to act..." the words were immediately throw aside. "I'm not, I'm okay, I promise." said Roger, like he actually believed it. But thing was, he did. He believed it so much, that it literally hurt everybody else to see him so happy.

By this time Benny had wiped away the uncharacteristic tears and made his way into the kitchen. He hadn't spoken a word all night but yet again, he hadn't stopped crying since he found out. At this point in time, Allison had handed him the divorce papers and his father in law had agreed, with civil intentions, that they were no longer compatible professionally. Nobody in the loft really knew what he was going to do next, they just silently watched hoping he didn't plan a mass murder in the name of cyber arts. He walked right up Roger and literally threw his arms around the rock star figure. His fingers clutching around the leather and skin. A bit taken aback, Roger didn't do anything at first but soon realized that this was something that Benny needed, not that Roger needed from Benny. He regrettably embraced his old roommate, repeating "shh" in his ear. A look complete and utter confusion crossed Mark's tired face and Roger looked back at his friend with a 'who knows' expression, lingering there in between them. Mark sighed and went back into the main part of the loft, plopping himself down onto the makeshift sofa and resting his chin on his palms. It was quite clear there was no progress to be made with Roger tonight. He was in denial, he knew that much. It appeared to Mark that no amount of friend on friend counseling could ever get Roger to admit how bad he hurt.

This time Collins played the silent card. Everybody knew that Collins wasn't the type to play wallflower. By definition that was Marks' job, after all he was the filmmaker. But tonight, he couldn't help but observe the hurt. By now Benny had finally let go of Roger and Joanne was running her fingers through Maureen's hair, Maureen letting small tears fall from her eyes. Mark had been consoling his own palms, which wasn't unusual for Mark; but Collins, Collins was just there. From where he was sitting, it seemed like nobody could notice him. He never meant to feel like the center of attention, but right now, he felt like the loneliest person of all and the worst part of it was that he felt angry. Angry at Angel for leaving him alone to grieve, angry at Mimi for making such a stupid mistake, but mostly; he was angry at himself for still thinking about nothing but himself when right in front of him was a friend he knew was going to self-destruct. Everybody knew that sympathetic look in his eyes. Tonight was no exception to hiding it. He quickly stood up walked towards the kitchen, anticipating the hand he was about to place on Benny's shoulder. Once he happened he took a silent breathe. Benny turned around inquisitively and once he noticed it was Collins he looked back at Roger. "I think it's about time we all went home." Said Collins, bravely.

Confused Roger muttered, "You don't want to stay for coffee?" He felt slightly disappointed when a calm Collins shook his head in refusal. "All right Thomas, you have a good night, and make sure that Benny gets home safe." He nodded and mumbled something like 'sure' or 'okay' but it didn't matter much to Roger. As everybody watched Collins and Benny leave there was a slight air of sadness spreading through everyone's lungs. Everyone was secretly afraid that this meant 'goodbye' but no one dared to say it.

Soon enough the couple that everybody thought might as well be featured in this weeks people stood up hand in hand. Joanne led her to the door as usual and Maureen trailed behind. While Joanne put a hand up in the air to leave with a friendly but subtle goodnight, Maureen let go, running up to roger and placing his face in his small hands. She sighed and gave him a "great Aunt Regina" kiss on the cheek and backed away, giving a big theatrical wave. "Night." She said dramatically.

"Night" both Roger and Mark said simultaneously. And now it was just the two of them. Mark and Roger, Roger and Mark. They sat there for a while just staring at each other when Mark finally mustered up the courage and walk right up to Roger and grab his arm. "Roger" Mark said almost as angrily as the last time.

"What?" inquired Roger.

"We need to talk."