Sorry for the long wait for this update. Half term is a saviour I swear. Anyway thanks to everyone who reviewed this story. I hope you enjoy this chapter.
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! or 'Cannonball' by Damien Rice.
It was the day of the funeral. How many days had passed since the day that you… God even looking back on it now, years later, it still hurts, Yami. It still hurts so much…
All of Yugi's friends were there. The friendship girl, Tea, she was crying her eyes out. Crying for your aibou. Everyone was crying. Even people I have never seen before were weeping - they were probably fans of yours. I did not allow myself to cry in front of everyone else. Not even Mokuba has seen me weep yet. I wasn't even going to go to the funeral at first. I know, I must sound like a complete ass right now, but I thought that if I went, seeing the coffin, even if it was Yugi's in effect, I would break down against my will. But I didn't. And I only have the grace of God to thank for that. So I just stood there, further away from everyone else, and kept up a wall of cold indifference.
Ishizu was there, along with her psychotic brother. She was holding the Millennium Puzzle, and, for some strange reason, I felt a pang of… the best way I can describe it is… protection towards it. I think it may have been because I have only ever seen you or Yugi holding the Puzzle, so it looked foreign and wrong seeing someone else hold it. I guess it may have been also because I believed your soul was still trapped in there. If it was, I cannot imagine how traumatising that would have been for you - to suddenly lose your precious aibou like that. But I knew you weren't there. I vaguely recalled Ishizu telling your friends that when the body of a host dies, the spirit of the Millennium item 'dies' with it. Only she doesn't know where it goes.
During the funeral I put my fingers against my lips. I can still feel your breath when I leaned into you that night. And I couldn't help thinking how right it felt.
Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
There's still a little bit of you laced in my doubt
But I still don't know what happened. I still don't know how I felt those things for you. I looked at the grave and all I could see was you: your face, your body, so… delicate, so unbelievably perfect that I felt I was committing a crime by putting my hands on you. But I saw your eyes more clearly than anything else. Your beautiful crimson eyes. Throughout all the years, even as I am recounting this now, I can still see your eyes so clearly. It is both a blessing as well as a torture. The former because in a way I know that I haven't forgotten you, that I can still see you: young yet so ancient and ageless. The latter because your eyes haunt me even in sleep. I cannot escape them. It hurts to know that I will never ever, no matter how much I search, no matter how much I look, I will never find anyone as incredible as you. With those soul-searching eyes - so intense. So amazing.
Still a little hard to say what going on
Still a little bit of your ghost, your witness
Still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed
How is it, Yami, that you could gain entry into my heart? You gripped me so, and I just couldn't - just can't - let go. You got so close to me. I didn't know who I was anymore, and I couldn't say what was happening. But as soon as I found you - as soon as I found this incredible feeling - it was torn away from me.
You step a little closer each day that I can't say what's going on
Is it any wonder that I am how I am? The only person I allowed in before you came into my life was my little brother Mokuba. Before him was my stepfather. And, well, we all know what happened there. I don't let anyone in because I am so scared that they will hurt me or Mokuba. Or both of us. But then I found the one person that I knew wouldn't hurt neither of us. And I lost you.
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall when you float like a cannonball
I can see Ishizu crying and her tears fall onto the Puzzle. I look at it and my mind automatically recalls a conversation - well, it was more of an argument really - that we had regarding destiny and fate. I didn't believe in fate. I'm not sure if I still do - after everything that has happened, I just can't believe in anything like fate. Yet, I long to hear you preach about the heart of the cards, fate, destiny one more time - just so that I can hear your rich, melodic voice. When I hear you speak, its like a wave rushing around me, although sometimes its like a wave crashing on top of me.
Still a little bit of your song in my ear
Still a little bit of your words I long to hear
You step a little closer to me, so close that I can't see what's going on
Everyone gathered around the grave. Placed flowers on it and small tokens of friendship. I felt a small hand in mine and I looked down into Mokuba's tear-filled grey eyes. I tried to smile at him, and he tried to smile back. He tugged on my hand, to pull me towards the grave. I didn't want to go, but I felt too weak to hold back. As we approached, I felt my stomach twist and thought I was going to throw up, but I fought the feeling back down.
Everyone looked at us as we approached. Some of the mourners who didn't know about me and you were probably wondering why I was there. Why Yugi's greatest rival - the man who supposedly hated him - was doing at the young duellist's funeral. Don't get me wrong, Yami. Your aibou is a sweet kid, but he wasn't the reason I was there. I was there to mourn my dead love.
This thought hit me like a mallet to the head. I thought I would loose control of my emotions. But my pride would not allow it. I focused my mind on Mokuba who was standing beside me. Tears were rolling down his face as he looked at the grave. He had bought some flowers with him to lay on Yugi's grave.
Ishizu lay the puzzle on the grave. "Shouldn't you be taking that back to the museum?" I asked her. My voice was surprisingly calm, even emotionless.
"I want to give the spirits any time that they may have to find each other again." Ishizu replied. "I don't know where either will go, so if the Pharaoh's spirit has the chance to return to the Puzzle, then I should let him." Tears ran down her face as she stepped away from the grave.
"Seto and me can take the Puzzle back," Mokuba said to Ishizu. His voice was shaking. I squeezed his hand a little tighter. "Can't we big brother?"
Mokuba looked up at me with his huge eyes. I didn't trust my voice at that moment, so I just nodded at the black haired woman.
"I appreciate it, Kaiba," she said. Then, as one, Yugi's friends said goodbye to his last resting place, then turned and walked away.
'Now its your turn, Kaiba,' they seemed to say.
I looked down at my little brother. "Mokuba, do you mind waiting in the limo for me. I just have something I need to do first."
Mokuba nodded at me. "Don't forget the Puzzle, okay Seto?" His voice wasn't shaking anymore, but it was hoarse.
"I won't."
When I was sure Mokuba had gone back to the limo, only then could I release some of my grief. I knelt by the grave and let the pent up tears fall. I cried for you, I cried for me, I cried for Yugi for having his life ripped from him at such a young age. Hell, I even cried for your friends, not exactly sure why at this moment… But mostly I cried for us. Everything that we could have had, could have been. But now we would never have the chance to find out what the future would have held for us, because of a selfish attempt on my life. One that cost you yours.
"Yami," I whispered into my hands. No one could hear me. No one answered. "Yami, I swear, if there is any way on this earth that I can find you, I will." I lowered my hands and saw the Puzzle in front of me on the ground. I gathered it in my arms and held it close to me, the only reminder of you. "I will find you Yami," I whispered again. "I promise."
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to cry
So come on courage teach me to be shy
'Cos its not hard to fall when you float like a cannonball
This song just seemed so appropiate for this chapter. Please read and review. Chapter 4 shouldn't take too long to come along. (She says!)