For the Story Life and War:
Everyone is reading the script
Kuwabara: How come I'm not in this story?
Jessica: Because of your reaction in book 1.
Kuwabara: It was in the script!
Jessica: Yeah, but people will wonder why you aren't scared this time.
Kuwabara: What people? The only people who read this series are you and Brittni.
Jessica: Well maybe there will be more people in the future. Perhaps in the near future.
Kuwabara: How?
Jessica: If I post this on the web site then who knows how many will read it.
Kuwabara: 20 at the most.
Jessica: Please exit this premises at once if you're going to keep talking like that. I allowed you to watch and I can just as easily tell you to leave.
Kuwabara: Wants to watch so he shuts up
Hiei: I don't like this script.
Jessica: What's the problem?
Hiei: I don't get seasick and I don't want that little girl hugging me!
Jessica: Why not?
Hiei: I don't like little kids hugging me.
Jessica: I'll give you a carton of ice cream!
Hiei: To little.
Jessica: 200 cartons after this story is finished.
Hiei: okay. I know I'm going to regret this but okay.
Jessica: good.
Little Girl that plays Jessica when she is turned into a little kid: I can't read all these words!
Jessica: Kuwabara, can you read?
Kuwabara: duh.
Jessica: Please make yourself useful and help Michelle.
Kuwabara: Goes and helps her
Jessica: Thinks Wow, Kuwabara can read! You learn something new everyday!
When reading the diary entry:
Everyone: Gets bored
Mike: Pretends to fall asleep and snores loudly
Jessica: Finishes the part.
Jessica: This is the dullest part of the whole story!
Camera Crew: We have some odd sounds recorded in here along with the diary entry thing.
Jessica: Hit it.
Camera Crew: Plays it and they hear the snoring
Jessica: Mike!
Mike: Why did I even take this job? And the worst part about it is that I can't be written out!
Jessica: I can always make you die in this.
Mike: NO! Not after what I saw in the first book! I saw that all death scenes are real!
Jessica: Then don't complain.
Mike: Who died and made you director?
Jessica: The person who really wrote this.
Everyone: 00
Jessica: I'm kidding! I wrote this and I have god as my witness!
Everyone: Looks up at the sky Did she?
Jessica: okay, so I don't have god as my witness. But I truly wrote this from my own imagination.
Mike: I believe it.
Jessica: Thanks Mike.
Mike: Only Jessica would write something this Stupid!
Jessica: Knocks Mike out with a chair
Shippo nearly falling off the top of the seat scene:
Jessica: Turns very sharply out of the driveway
Shippo: falls off the top of the seat Ouch!
Jessica: Oh, try to get a better grip this time!
Shippo: I kinda figured that much!
Jessica: Turns very sharply out of the driveway
Shippo: Had a tighter grip but still fell off the seat Ow!
Jessica: Getting a little annoyed okay, one more try!
Jessica: Yet again turns very sharply out of the driveway
Shippo: Yet again falls off!
Jessica: Gets really annoyed okay, one more try! But first…
Jessica: runs and gets some duck tape we'll do this!
Shippo: Hands and feet are being bound down
Jessica: Let's try this yet again!
Jessica: Turns very sharply out of the driveway
Shippo: Nearly falls off but didn't Hey! Watch it!
Camera Crew: Uh, Jessica?
Jessica: Oh no, don't tell me you forgot to take the lens cap off!
Camera Crew: No…
Jessica: whew! Good!
Camera Crew: We forgot to turn on the camera.
Jessica: Where on earth did I get such idiotic Camera people?
Camera Crew: We were the cheapest you could find.
Jessica: I should've hired smarter people…
Camera Crew: Turns the camera on
Jessica: Redoes the scene just like last time
Camera Crew: Jessica…Jessica: Is infuriated WHAT IS IT THIS TIME!
Camera Crew: Won't the duck tape look odd to the viewers?
Jessica: Oh. We can edit it out the tape.
Camera Crew: Looks around Does anyone know how to do that?
Jessica: Yeah. Me.
Jessica turning into a little kid scene:
Eve: Starts the transformation
Jessica: slowly turns into a little kid (Just special effects!)
Michelle: before being dropped I have to go potty!
Jessica: Cut! Okay, go now.
Michelle: Rushes off to the "Potty" and comes back soon
Jessica: Okay, redo scene!
The scene is redone
Kagome: Jessica!
Eve lets go of Michelle and disappears in the shadowsKagome: What happened?
Mike: Is she…dead? Look of terror on his face
Kagome: Turns "Jessica" over
Michelle: Slowly opens her eyes
Brittni: Jessica?
Michelle: um…I forgot my line!
Jessica: Bursts into laughter That's what I get for hiring a real three year old to play a movie part! Okay, redo the scene!
Seasick Hiei scene:
Jessica: Hiei, are you seasick?
Hiei: Starts to get an idea Nope. I'm not.
Jessica: Hiei, if you aren't going to say your line could you at least say that line in a tone more, well, you?
Hiei: Okay, okay. Whatever.
(Not all that funny, but cute.)
At sea scene (No particular scene):
Michelle: Is leaning over Wow, I never saw the ocean this close on a boat before!
Mike: Starts feeling mean Here's a closer look! Pushes Michelle in
Michelle: Falls in and rises back to surface HELP! I CAN'T SWIM!
Mike: Puts his arm out in an attempt to save her
Michelle: Pulls Mike in Ha! That's what you get for messing with me!
Mike: Little sisters are such a pain!
Jessica: Sorry, but your sister was the only brown haired blue-eyed girl who wanted to play and had a little experience!
Mike: Plus you hired her because you could pay her with cookies.
Jessica: She's getting a real paycheck!
Mike: So I suppose we get the counterfeit ones, right?
Jessica: You are all getting a paycheck! Even the animals who play in this thing!
Mike: What are they going to do with a paycheck?
Sudden scene of animals at the spa getting massages and getting groomed by the best pet groomers
Jessica: I don't know. Maybe on some toys and treats. I mean they don't go to the spa or anything!
Mike: Nods Right.
Off scenes:
Everyone is taking breaks and Hiei is asleep
Eve: Sees the sleeping Hiei and decides to play a prank, sorta and turns Hiei into a three-year-old
Hiei: Wakes up and spots Eve and gets only the tiniest bit scared who are you?
Eve:My name is Eve and I am going to kill you. She wants to see if Hiei will run out as a three-year-old and yell, "She's gonna kill me!"
Hiei: No you aren't! I'll kill you first! Die! Pulls out a tiny katana and swings it at Eve
Eve: Pulls out a shield and blocks it
Hiei: Gets annoyed Die! Die! Die! Die! Swings sword at each die (In case you were wondering, Hiei's clothes and katana shrunk with him)
Eve: Blocks it each time and deciding that this was getting boring knocks the tiny Hiei out with an energy attack (Hiei wasn't the best fighter at three but was pretty good for a three-year-old fire demon) and sets him on the couch Hiei was resting on. She than turned Hiei back to normal and quickly leaves
Hiei: Starts to wake up and thinks 'That was the oddest dream I ever had.'
(That scene was one of my least funny jokes in my opinion, tell my what you think)
Jessica exploring her own room scene:
Michelle: Notices the Inuyasha volumes Wow! Inuyasha has comics with him and everyone else in it! Cool!
Michelle: Puts back volume 16
Jessica: That was perfect! Okay Michelle, you run downstairs now!
Michelle: Notices the Yu Yu Hakusho volumes and ignores Jessica's direction And so does everyone else! Wow, is that how you spell Hiei? Starts giggling and runs downstairs
Jessica:…That was even better then what I wrote…keep that in there! That was perfect!
Camera crew: Keeps the scene how it is
Was that funny? What was your favorite scene? Please answer these questions if you are going to review! Thanks for reading this!