I'll probably finish this in two or three more chapters. I'm getting impatient.
Poem a.k.a. lyrics by the Microphones.
PLEASE review. I think I may have rushed it. I just felt like it was dragging on and it's not supposed to be a long story.
Chapter 7: I felt your shape.
Roger couldn't remember writing anything but as soon as he looked down at the notebook he'd been holding for the last hour there was an entire poem written in ink. It's title was "I felt your shape" and instead of reading it, like any writer might do, Roger simply closed the notebook and stood up from the spot he was sitting on the train. The train came to a small halt and Roger realized that none of his friends were with him. Three days had passed and Roger was beginning to feel left alone and abandoned by his friends. Still, he maintained a positive attitude as he stepped off the platform. The moment he saw her face a fantasy came to him about him and Mimi old, happy and full. He just knew that if Mimi had survived that she would look exactly like her mother. He gave a sympathetic smile and walked right up to Mrs. Marquez, embracing the woman he was never really fond of in the first place. Although not European, Mrs. Marquez gave Roger a kiss on each side of his face. He smiled politely and linked arms with her walking her as far as her hotel (three blocks to be exact.) Mimi's funeral had been almost entirely arranged by Benny, completely against Roger's wishes. Everybody but Roger agreed it was for the best and even Mimi's mother didn't side with Roger, which made him angry but also apathetic. Mimi's funeral was to be held in 2 days and Roger felt unprepared, as if he were going on some wayward journey.
After running a few errands, Roger made his way back to the loft. Once entering he noticed his group of friends standing around in black attire. Joanne was the first to notice him enter the loft. She quickly jogged to the door. "Where in the hell have you been?" she questioned sternly. "I was running errands, why? What's up, why are you all dressed in black?" Mark looked at his best friend and didn't move a muscle except in his mouth to speak.
"Please tell me you're kidding Roger." He said hoping that this was another one of Roger's jokes to lighten the mood. Roger still looked confused. Mark began to hyperventilate and Maureen rushed over to calm him. She turned to Roger and shrugged, silently asking him if he really didn't know what was going on. Still no response. "Roger Sweetie today is Mimi's funeral. Didn't you know?" At that moment Roger caught eyes with Benny. He could feel the guilt in his stomach and hoped that Benny had just planned this whole thing to make him look stupid. Benny just nodded and that told Roger everything he needed to know. Roger had forgotten. The most important event ever and it completely slipped his mind. While he stood in the middle of the loft processing what had just happened Joanne looked over at Benny and said as calm as she could muster, "Let's go to the church and try to delay them as much as possible." She looked over at her lover. "Maureen, help him get ready as fast as possible and I'll meet you there." Maureen nodded and soon Benny and Joanne were out of sight.
Fitting four New Yorkers in a taxi has never been successful but today it really didn't matter to any of them. Roger sat next to Maureen who sat next to Mark who was idly looking out the window. That same little notebook where all of his thoughts and artistic ideas bloom was now being scribbled in to finish some type of speech for the ceremony. Maureen looked at the boy scribbling in his notebook and sighed. She whispered in his ear so that Mark wouldn't hear. "Roger, why don't you just sing that song you wrote for her? Or one of your poems? That's got to be better than some silly speech."
Roger really never had a problem with Maureen because she never hassled him with worry and whatnot but right now she was really starting to get on his nerves. "Fine." He mumbled. "You pick something." He threw the notebook onto her lap and she looked over with a raised eyebrow. "Fine." She sneered back.
Maureen flipped through the pages of the notebook and almost missed the poem titled "I felt your shape." This was the first time since they left that the cab was quiet. Both Mark and Roger were looking out the window and Collins was trying his best to ignore the stench of the cab driver. Tears came to the dramatic eyes of Maureen and she looked over at Roger, not even knowing what to say. How could he write something so beautiful and still not be completely heartbroken? Maureen sighed and wiped the tears away from her eyes. She closed the notebook and handed it back to Roger. "You have to do that beautiful poem."
He looked over at her confused and shook his head. "What beautiful poem?"
"I felt your shape. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever read."
He remembered the name but he couldn't quite grasp what it was about so he just ignored her enthusiasm and agreed to read it at the funeral.
A group of people had already shown up and the four of them seemed to make an entrance, but nobody really minded. Roger was glad to see that Benny and Joanne had taken the liberty to pick up Mimi's mom and was almost too happy to see the support group there, bawling their eyes out. They quietly sat down as Benny stood in front of everybody.
"I think everybody knew that she could have done great things. She was so motivated and full of energy that if she had just set her heart on it she could have done it. Roger knows," Benny looked over to Roger who was sitting front row with a sympathetic smile on his face. "She went through hell just to be with him but in the end I think it was for the best." He sighed and allowed Maureen to take the stage, so to speak.
"I remember having a Hispanic dancer doll when I was a little girl. She had long beautiful curly hair and a fabulous dress that I never took off her." Maureen sighed and looked around the room full of mournful faces. "When I finally met Mimi, it felt like I had met the person who embodied the kind of girl I'd like to be best friends with. And she was the best type of friend a girl could ever have. Kind, fun loving, absolutely beautiful and caring. She had a graceful air about her that I was always envious of. I realize now that she was one of the best things to happen to our group of friends. I'll miss her." Tears were coming from Maureen's eyes now and she just stepped down and gave a small hug to her somewhat bitter but caring ex-boyfriend Mark.
Mark went up to the podium and sighed. He put on a small smile remembering her face and nodded. "It's unfortunate that my first impression of Mimi was when Roger and I would go to the cat scratch club and watch her get tied up. We'd be in the back of course, afraid to show our faces. But for some reason every time we would pass
on the street or be going up to our loft and we'd pass she'd smile or even greet us. She truly wasn't afraid to be anybodies friend. She was the embodiment of love and charisma and I think if anything, I'll miss her loud boisterous laugh. She always did have a knack to make the rest of us break out in laughter whenever she laughed." Mark smirked. "It really helped us realize how much life was worth."
Roger eyes started to droop. He was tired and angry that he'd forgotten but mostly upset with his friends for not reminding him. He realized now that Mark had been staring at him and signaling him to come up onto podium so he stood and made his way up to the front of the church, Mark coming down from his place and allowing Roger to replace him.
He sighed and pulled out the notebook turning to the page where Maureen had left a folded edge. He'd realized now that he hadn't even read through it and took a moment up at the podium to read through it. Something from somewhere, he didn't know what, but something hit him hard. It felt like something was compacting his head causing all the water in his body to come out through two glassy eyes. The words on the paper read.
I thought I felt your shape but I was wrong
Really all I felt was falsely strong
I held on tight and closed my eyes
It was dumb I had no sense of your size
It was dumb to hold so tight
But last night
On the birthday in the kitchen
My grip was loose my eyes were open
I felt your shape and heard you breathing
I felt the rise and fall of your chest
I felt your fall
Your winter snows
Your gusty blow
Your lava flow
I felt it all
Your starry night
Your lack of light
With limp arms I can feel most of you
I hung around your neck independently
And my loss was overwhelmed
By this new depth I don't think I ever felt
But I don't know
The nights are cold
And I remember warmth
I could have sworn I wasn't alone