A/N: Oh my God, I'm still alive! So...yeah, I'm in college, and work sucks. But here we are, after entirely too long, the next chapter!
Thanks to EVERYONE who reviewed, you guys were the inspiration to keep writing, even if it did take forever and a day.
In a canonical note, I changed a few names in this one.My continuing love-hate relationshipwith the Harry Potter Lexicon has led me to the fact that Orion and Wallburga (God, that name is hilarious) are Sirius's parents names, not the original Menleaus and Darcy, as I was using.
Also, even though he's not a main character, there's a lot of Regulus Black in this one. After "Half-Blood Prince" I started becoming really interested in Regulus, because he is a potential candidate for the "RAB" mystery. And I think he's adorable...poor confused little kid.
Anyway, hope everyone enjoys!
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Sirius knew exactly how he'd like to be spending his winter holiday. He'd be back at Hogwarts with James and Remus and Peter, having snowball fights and planning out pranks that would have the school talking for months to come.
Instead, he sat in the living room of 12 Grimmauld Place, surrounded by the people he hated most in the world.
"Well, what do you have to say for yourself?" his mother asked in her high, shrill voice.
"About what?" he asked innocently, blinking up at his mother as if confused.
"You know damn well what your mother is talking about, boy," his father spat, looming over his oldest son. Behind him, Regulus sat in an armchair in the corner, watching the scene with an intense sort of interest.
"I don't know, I don't think I…" Sirius didn't get a chance to finish his sly remark before Orion cut him off with a swing of his fist.
"I warned you, boy," he growled. "I told you that if I found out you were fraternizing with that…that filth, you'd be in trouble."
"But I didn't…" Sirius almost managed to duck Orion's next swing, catching it on the side of his head instead of his cheek. To his small satisfaction, despite the throbbing in his head, he saw his father flex his knuckles and flinch slightly.
"Because every member of the Black family has attended Hogwarts, you will be returning there after winter break," Orion went on. "But if you continue to behave in such a…distasteful manner, you will not be returning there next year. Do you understand?"
"Yes, sir," Sirius forced himself to say, staring coldly into his father's dark eyes.
"Good. I'm finished with you," he dismissed with a wave of his hand. Orion turned and strode from the room, followed closely by Walburga, who was sure to give Sirius an extra hard stare and turn of the nose before leaving.
"Why do you do that?" Sirius jumped at the new voice; he had nearly forgotten his that younger brother was there.
"Do what?" he asked, gently touching the side of his head where the throbbing pain continued.
"Make them treat you like that," Regulus answered. "Why can't you just do what they want?"
"Because they're stupid," Sirius said coldly. "There's nothing wrong with my friends, they're really good people."
"Mum and Dad don't think so," Regulus argued. "I think they'd know better than you would."
"Then you think wrong," Sirius snapped, standing up. "You'll see when you get to school, everything's different there."
"I don't know," Regulus said sincerely. "Mum and Dad say that we're better than mudbloods, and it makes sense…"
"Then you're just as stupid as they are," Sirius stated with an air of finality, and turned and left the room. He climbed the narrow staircase to his room, kicking gloomily at the carpet in the corridor and finally closing the door behind him. He dropped onto his bed, facing his nightstand with the letter James had written him on it.
"Holiday is great so far," James had written. "Mum and Dad waited so that me and Becca could help decorate the tree. We got to show them everything we learned at school so far, it's been a lot of fun. I'm going to ask Dad if you can come over after Christmas and stay for a bit, ask your Dad too!"
Yeah right, Sirius thought bitterly, trying to fight away the jealousy chewing at his stomach. He'd sooner jump out the window than let me go to James's house.
Sirius rolled onto his side and tried to cling to the image of Orion leaping out of his bedroom window, enjoying the small moment of joy he received from it, when…
Knock knock knock.
"What?" Sirius growled at the closed door. It creaked open slightly, and Regulus's head popped in.
"Want to play chess?" he asked quietly.
Sirius sighed, but nodded. "Sure. Just close the door behind you." There's nothing better to do anyway.
Regulus smiled, closed the door, and sat the board on the floor. The boys settled across from each other, each taking different pieces and beginning to set them up. Sirius started the game by calling out "Knight to E3."
"Do you really think I'm stupid?" Regulus asked, surveying the board, sure not to look Sirius in the eye.
"No," Sirius answered. Regulus smiled and ordered one of his pawns to move forward. "I just don't think you should listen to Mum and Dad all the time, they're not always right. Pawn to G4."
"But if I don't listen, Dad gets mad," Regulus argued. "You get to go to school and get away, then Dad only has me to…to boss around." He seemed to have abandoned all pretenses of playing chess.
"So you pretend," Sirius explained. "You can say that you agree with the stuff they say and not really agree with it." He thought for a second. "You know who one of my friends is at school?" Regulus shook his head. "You can't tell dad, alright?" A nod. "James Potter."
"James Potter?" Regulus breathed, barely above a whisper. "But Dad says the Potters…"
"Who cares what Dad says?" Sirius interrupted. "James is nice to me, and he plays chess, and quidditch, and he' a lot of fun to play pranks with. Dad's never talked to him, how does he know?"
"But aren't you afraid Dad will find out? He'll be awfully mad."
"I don't care," Sirius said firmly. "James is my friend. Now make your move."
From then on, conversation was limited. About a half hour later, Sirius's queen smashed the opposing king over the head and dragged him from the board. Maybe it was just his mood, but Sirius had the feeling that Regulus wasn't thinking about the game.
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That Christmas break was the first time Lily could remember being told that it was okay to lie.
"Of course we like that you're going to this school, dear," her mother explained to her on Christmas Eve. "But remember how it's all supposed to be a big secret? You can't tell anyone, right?"
"But what if they ask me about school?" Lily wondered.
"Well," her father pitched in. "We'll just have to tell them something else. You can talk about school and you friends and things, you just can't say anything about the magic part, right?"
"Okay, I'll try," Lily promised.
"Good. Now why don't you go get some sleep? You know the sooner you get to sleep, the sooner Father Christmas can come with your presents."
Lily couldn't help but grin with excitement as she hugged her mother and father goodnight. Her slippered feet padded up the stairs and she jumped into bed as soon as she reached her room.
Her brain, apparently, was not ready to go to sleep. She worried about what she would say to her grandparents, aunts, and uncles the next day when they asked her about her schooling. Could she really lie to them? But everyone always told me lying was bad. How come it's okay now?
"In bed already?" Petunia asked from the doorway. Lily sat up in bed and smiled at her sister. Petunia hadn't been really nice since Lily had gotten home, but she hadn't been rotten either.
"I'm excited for tomorrow, I want it to come soon," Lily answered.
"Did you talk to Mum and Dad?"
"Yeah…why?"
"I just wanted to make sure you weren't going to ruin tomorrow with your…'special abilities.'"
Lily frowned. "Ruin? How could I…"
"What do you think people would say if they knew about where you really go for school?"
"I don't know…maybe they would ask me to show them some of the things I learned."
"Or maybe they'd be afraid of you. Maybe they'd want nothing to do with you or your…weirdness. Just make sure you don't mess up." With that, Petunia left the room, and Lily heard her bedroom door close a few seconds later.
Afraid? Why would anyone be afraid of me? I wouldn't hurt anyone. Lily lie back down, trying to bring back thoughts of Father Christmas and forget about the harsh words of Petunia, but it was a long time before she finally fell asleep.
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The being was aware of only three things: pain, voices, and music. Where, who, or even what he was eluded him as he lay, not quite awake yet not asleep, not quite alive yet not dead, trying to figure out if he had the strength to open his eyes, or if he had eyes at all.
"Mr. Lupin, are you awake?" Lupin…Remus Lupin… An explosion of memories rushed over him. The dimly lit basement…the lock clicking behind him…Liz's sad eyes…snow falling outside the windows…faces of his friends from school…a dark, starry night…a harsh argument…a scream in the forest…and those vicious, yellow eyes…
"NO!" He sat bolt upright in bed and immediately burst into a fit of coughs that shook his entire body.
"Relax, Mr. Lupin, you're okay," said a woman's voice next to him. He looked up into the eyes of a St. Mungo's healer, the lower half of her face covered in a paper mask.
She thinks I'm contagious, he thought bitterly as he lay back down on the bed.
"There you are dear, that's better," she cooed in a sweet voice that made Remus hate her even more. "How are you?"
"Thirsty," Remus answered. He'd gotten used to these types of questions by now, and didn't even attempt to answer anything else.
"All right, I'll be right back with something for you." She turned and left his bedside. I'm in here enough, you'd think they'd know by now…
His anger faded, however, as three new people appeared at his bedside.
"Remus dear…" his mother pulled him into a tight hug. Remus's sore body objected, but he didn't complain about the affection.
"I'm okay, Mum," he said into her ear. She sniffed quietly and stood up, smiling down at him.
"Well done, Remus," his father said with a smile and pat on the shoulder. Remus smiled back, then turned his gaze downward as Liz stepped up to his bedside.
"You okay?" he asked her. In reply, she threw her arms around him in a tight embrace.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice quavering.
"It's not your fault," he answered her like he always did, returning the hug.
"Enough of this," his father said as Liz stepped back. "Is it Christmas or not?"
The two adults disappeared as the Healer returned with a large glass of water. Remus gulped most of it down before having to stop for air. I can't believe I forgot it was Christmas!
After the Healer had done a few checks and made Remus drink a potion that tasted like it was made from old socks, Richard and Marie returned with bags of brilliantly wrapped paper.
"Happy Christmas," Richard said as he handed a few gifts to Remus. Marie offered the same to Liz, and they spent the next few minutes tearing into their presents. Thanks and hugs went all around as Remus folded a new pair trousers and put them back into their box.
"So can we go home?" Remus asked hopefully after everything had been cleaned up. Richard and Marie exchanged nervous glances.
"You know it's not usually a good idea to be up and about right away," Richard said gently. "The Healer says you should stay here for the night."
Remus tried not to look as disappointed as he felt. His visitors tried to make the day as pleasant as possible, but with the continued aching of his body and the thought of spending another night alone here in the hospital, it didn't work very well. All too soon, the Healer was ushering them out. Remus put on a brave smile as he received goodbye hugs from his parents. Liz came forward last and hugged him the longest. "I'm sorry you have to stay here," she said sympathetically.
"It's okay," he said, forcing a smile. "It'll be quiet in here. Big difference from back at school, maybe I'll get some sleep."
"Come on, now Liz, we have to get going," Richard called from the doorway.
"Coming, Uncle Richard," she called, then turned back to Remus. "Happy Christmas," she said, then follow her aunt and uncle from the room.
"You too," he called. He watched them disappear, letting out a sigh as the door closed behind them. Well, at least it's quiet, he thought.
"Too quiet," he mumbled to himself, staring about the empty room. He thought of James and Sirius and their late night pillow fights and quidditch talks, and longed to be back at school.
Only a few more weeks, he tried to assure himself, but as he lay awake for hours, with only the flickering candle and the faint voice of the wolf for company, it wasn't very assuring at all.
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Christmas had been busier this year in the Pettigrew house than it usually was. It had seemed that everyone wanted to talk to Peter about his first few months at school, and for once he had enjoyed his holiday. He took pride in telling his father's friends about the new spells he was learning and the new friends he was making; he even thought he might be making his father proud, sounding all smart and well-taught like he did.
"Parading yourself around here like you're something special!" Peter had realized about five minutes ago that he was wrong, and was now just waiting for the cascade of punches and kicks to end so he could go to bed. "You're an embarrassment! Going to that school was supposed to teach you something, not send you back here acting like an egotistical moron! What do you have to say for yourself?"
"S-sorry sir," Peter managed to choke out.
"You better be. And don't forget this. Now get out of my sight."
Peter scrambled up the steps and into his bedroom, gently closing the door behind him. He didn't even bother to change into his pajamas, just crawled into bed, sniffing and trying not to cry. His stomach and chest and head ached, but if his dad caught him crying, it would be worse.
The door to his bedroom creaked slightly, and a sliver of light peeked in. Peter immediately closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep. "Peter?" his mother's voice called quietly. He sat up in bed, bottom lip trembling even though he told it not to.
"Oh, darling." His mother sat beside him and pushed his hair back out of his face as he cried quietly. "It's alright, your father's just been very busy at work, and you know how he-"
"C-can't I go back to school?" Peter practically begged, leaning back to look up at his mother. "I won't be in Dad's way anymore, so he won't get mad at me.
"But don't you want to be home for New Year's? We always have that wonderful party."
"No," Peter answered stubbornly. "I want to go back to school. I want to see my friends."
"But honey, your friends aren't there," his mother reminded him. "They're all at home too." Peter opened his mouth to respond, but couldn't think of anything to say, and so he let his head fall back to his mother's shoulder and the tears continue to flow. "I know it's hard, but it's only a few more weeks." She kissed him lightly on the forehead and stood up. "Try to get some sleep now, okay?"
Peter nodded and lay back down, allowing his mother to tuck him in. "I'll see you in the morning."
The small gleam of light disappeared and he heard his mother's footsteps disappear down the hallway. I wish I was at school. I wish I was with Sirius and James and Remus and we were playing pranks or doing homework or anything. I wish I was at school. I wish I was at school. I wish I was...
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"…and if you wave it like this, you can make birds come out!" James was explaining to his aunt and uncle, waving his wand around wildly.
"Na uh, you're doin' it wrong," Becca interrupted. "Watch me." With a few more waves, each of them had bubbles shooting out the ends of their wands.
"Bubbles?" they asked together.
"It was s'possed to be birds," James said sheepishly.
"It's alright," Uncle Charles said. "They look good anyway." He ruffled James's hair playfully. "We've got to get going, so you two be good now, alright?"
"Alright," the twins said together, each taking turns to say goodbye to their aunt and uncle. When they'd left, the two turned their attention to their mother, crocheting on the couch, and their father, reading a copy of "The Daily Prophet" in his chair next to the fireplace.
"So we'll go ask them together, right?" James whispered to Becca.
"Right, and we'll be really nice about it, so they have to say yes," his sister whispered back.
"But remember, try not to tell him it's Sirius," James warned. "'Member what he said about Sirius at Diagon Alley."
Becca nodded. Side by side, the duo approached their father's chair, passing the massive Christmas tree with presents still stacked high underneath. Harold had a small smile playing across his face.
"What do you two trouble makers want?"
"We wanted to know if one of my-ow!" James yelled as Becca elbowed him. "One of our friends from school could come over and stay for a few days."
"We'd be really good, and we wouldn't cause any trouble," Becca added.
"Please?" they ended together. Harold chuckled and folded up his paper, then looked over at his wife. "What do you think, Olivia?"
"I think we could handle one more around here," she said thoughtfully. "Who is this amazing friend?"
"Er…just a friend from school," James answered quickly.
"We know that; what's his name?" Harold asked.
James and Becca exchanged slightly worried looks, then James smiled and shrugged, acting like it was no big deal. "Sirius."
Harold arched an eyebrow. "Sirius Black?"
"Er…yeah," Becca answered. She could tell James was as nervous as she was, but also knew they were both determined to stand their ground.
Harold shifted to look square at his children, while Olivia sat up on the couch with a worried expression on her face. "Didn't I tell you about the Blacks during the summer?"
"Yeah, but Dad, he's a really great guy. He's not mean or nasty like his dad was, and he's awesome at quidditch, and chess, and-"
"And his last letter sounded really sad," Becca added. "And I don't know if he has any brothers or sisters, so he might be spending Christmas by himself with only his mean mom and dad, and that's not fair."
"Alright, alright," Harold held up a hand to stop the two, as they both had their mouths open to argue more. "Why don't you let your Mum and I talk about it, and we'll let you know in the morning, alright?"
"Okay," they both conceded.
"Alright. Now you two get on up to bed." After hugs and kisses goodnight, the two raced up the stairs.
"Beat ya!" Becca yelled in triumph as she reached the top stair first.
"Nah uh, you cheated and pushed!"
"Did not!"
"Did so!"
"Did not!"
"That's okay, I'll beat you next time."
"We'll see."
James held his finger up to his lips in a "shooshing" gesture, then reached down and took off his shoes and socks. Becca did the same, leaving the two barefooted to creep down the steps so that they could hear what their parents were saying.
"…not too sure about this," they heard their father's voice say. "Who knows what Orion could be teaching his children."
"He's an eleven year old boy, Harold, I don't think he's going to try to kill us in our sleep. He can't be capable of much."
"Have you met our children?"
Olivia chuckled. "Yes, and they are capable of a lot of mischief, but no grand taking over of the world. He's just a child."
"I don't trust his father, and so I don't trust him."
"But James and Rebecca have obviously been friends with him since September. He can't be all bad. Besides, it seems almost a crime, leaving him with Orion when we could save him from all that."
Harold sighed. "Fine." James and Becca both nearly jumped up and ran down the stairs to thank their father right then and there, before remembering that they weren't supposed to be hearing this. "But we're going to keep an eye on him, that's for sure."
The two children ascended the stairs, going into James's room and firmly closing the door before giving each other a high five.
"I'll owl Sirius as soon as I get up!" James exclaimed.
"And he'll be here for Mum and Dad's big New Year's party," Becca added. "Maybe he'll be able to play quidditch with us this year."
"I can't wait for him to come," James said with a huge grin on his face.
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I can't wait to go! Sirius thought as he sprinted downstairs with James's letter in hand. Orion had been so angry with him recently, with good cause, of course. Living at school only made Sirius realize that he had to make his parents' lives hell more for the few weeks that he was home. But Orion was fed up, he had to let Sirius go, if only to get him out of the house, right?
Just outside the main sitting room, Sirius slowed, took a deep breath, and forced himself to remember to be polite.
"Father?" Sirius asked as he approached the chair by the fire. Sirius hated calling him that, because it was appropriate and exactly what Orion wanted. Orion was hidden behind a newspaper.
"What, boy?" Orion's voice asked, though the paper didn't move.
"I got a letter from my friend from school, asking me if I wanted to come to his house for the rest of the holiday, and I wondered if I could go."
"With the way you've been acting? Why should I let you go anywhere?"
"Well, if would get me out of your hair, right? You wouldn't have to see me for the rest of break, or anything like that."
Orion dropped the paper and fixed Sirius with that granite-colored stare that Sirius had gotten used to long ago. It would scare most people, but not him. "And who is this…friend from school?"
Oh no, I was hoping he wasn't going to ask that. "Just a guy that I've been hanging around with, that's all."
"What is his name?" Orion asked menacingly.
"James," Sirius said with a shrug.
"James what?" Orion growled, even though Sirius thought he might already know the answer.
"James Potter," Sirius answered, trying not to sound too defiant. It must not have worked, because in the next instant Sirius was on his back with the taste of blood in his mouth and Orion was looming over him with a look that could have frozen lava.
"What did I tell you about associating with that sort!" Orion roared.
"But he—"
"But nothing!" He accentuated this with a kick to Sirius's stomach. "I don't send you to that school for you to be ruined by such filth, and I will not stand for talk of it in my house! I've already told you, you're going to stop associating with such…traitorous dogs, or I will have you shipped to Durmstrang before you can even blink! Do you understand me?"
"Yes," Sirius forced out, trying to catch his breath.
"Get out of my sight!"
Sirius scrambled to his feet and headed for the stairs. Wallburga stood in the hallway, shooting Sirius a smug look of triumph that he just wanted to curse right off of her face. He made it up the stairs, forcing himself not to wince or stumble even though he felt like his stomach may have exploded. He finally made it to his room, closed the door, and collapsed onto the bed.
He blinked hard against the fogginess in his eyes. I'm not going to cry. He's not going to make me cry. He forced himself to think of James, and all the fun they were having at school, but someone it only made him feel worse. He still had the letter clutched in his hand, and he read it again, trying to imagine the good time he would have had if he'd been able to go.
He rolled over onto his back and stared at the dark ceiling above his bed. Even though it wasn't late, and the afternoon sun was shining visibly outside the windows, it always seemed black and musty in the house. Black. Exactly. Why couldn't I have been James and Becca's brother, instead of being here with people who hate me?
A light knock sounded from the door. Sirius lay still and didn't answer, hoping whoever it was would think he was asleep. A thin ray of light crept into the room as his door creaked open slightly.
"Sirius?" came the quiet, timid voice.
Sirius sat up in his bed, wincing slightly at his still-aching stomach. "I'm here, Regulus."
The door creaked closed again and Regulus stood by the bed, a glass of water in his hands.
"Thought you might be thirsty," he offered, holding out the cup.
Sirius took the cup and drained it, drowning out the taste of blood. "Thanks."
Regulus nodded. "I heard what happened."
"So?"
"So…I dunno, I guess I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
"I'm fine."
"Okay." He paused. "Hey Sirius?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you think that um…maybe…maybe you'd want to play chess?"
Sirius studied his little brother for a second. "That's not what you wanted to ask."
"I know. It wasn't important."
"Sure, let's play."