A/N: Devil's advocate says: Random fact: A duck's quack doesn't echo.
Devil-girl666: I so needed to know that. Anyways, I'm sure what you all really want to hear about is what happens in episode 7, so: enjoy!
SWEET SAMPETRA SEASON 1:
Episode 7: the one with the sexy cloak (a.k.a where Sagitar betrays Ublaz).
A jubilant lark arose to greet daybreak, chirruping happily as she ascended the upper air before abruptly exploding in a ball of feathers and flame, fallen victim to Groojaw's hand-grenade target practice. Ublaz watched with a mirthless grin as the steaming remains of the bird plummeted earthwards. As the young emperor sat, stretched luxuriously with a goblet of his favourite melon vodka, on his infamous stack of timber (which was in fact no ordinary timber pile as it was equipped with a self-destruct system just in case it got into Rasconza's hands) he mentally went through the details of his very ingenious plan to vanquish the Rebel Crew once and for all (evil laugh). So far it seemed flawless, with the small exception of Sagitar's bow-and-arrow skills, which were, well… atrocious.
Last night, in hopes of getting her to do some archery practise, he had carefully crept into his chief Trident-rat's lair; a sixth-floor guestroom artfully littered with perfumes, nail-polish bottles and whatever other hot-pink crap it was that chicks surrounded themselves with, and had fruitlessly attempted to nudge her into wakefulness. Sagitar, however, obviously having some spasmodic nightmare, had blindly lashed out and punched him in the stomach (and if one thing's for sure it's that Sagitar Sawfang punches pretty damn hard) sending Ublaz recoiling so fast he brained himself on an overhanging chandelier. This had left him with a very noticeable red lump poking through the fur on the back of his head.
Finally, with the help of some lizard muscle and much struggling and thrashing (on Sagitar's part), he managed to drag her up to the seventh-floor and thrust a bow into her paws. He had been pleased to notice that she hit the log (her target) twice and displeased to notice that she almost embedded her shafts in Lask Frildur's scaly head five times.
At least she had made some progress, he reassured himself as he watched Rasconza and his crew massing on the hills below. It's time, he thought, and he turned from his palace's high rampart and descended in the high-speed glass elevator, then marched purposefully forward to where Rasconza awaited him. The emperor was unarmed and only comforted with the notion that his lizards had their arrows trained on his enemy from their perches on the walltop (though when he looked back he saw General Lask Frildur was deep in conversation with Zurgat, and had his shaft pointing uselessly at the ground). Rasconza grinned his demented wolfish grin.
"So then, your highness, I understand you want peace. Kinda weird for the the ruler of Sampetra and pimp of the high seas, huh?", Several corsair sneered and chuckled at this, "But that's understandable as all you've had to deal with is retards and lizards."
The pine marten glared at the swaggering captain down his snout in his superior way.
"You may be a smart-ass, Rasconza, "but if I were you I wouldn't e so cocky."
Ublaz raised one paw, the signal for Sagitar and her Triden-rats to attack. Rasconza, ever the drama-queen, picked a small flower and sniffed it apprehensively.
"You're the one who shouldn't be so cocky, Mad-eyes. Why don't you look at that hill over there?"
Uneasiness clawed at the young emperor's gut. Something isn't right…
A fine figure, garbed in a silky long cloak and hood stepped out of the throng of wave vermin crowded on the hillcrest. Rasconza's lupine smile went up a few notches.
"Unsheet yourself for the mighty Ublaz."
The cloak slid away. Sagitar Sawfang stood in full view and (though Ublaz hated to admit it) damn, she looked dangerous. Her slinky frame clad in midnight black and her piercing azure eyes regarding him with cold mystery, he thought she looked something like one of the Bond girls from the 007 movies (except, you know, rat-ified).
"You see," Rasconza strode over to the former chief Trident-rat, "Your lovely Miss Sawfang has changed sides." He reached out and stroked her cheek. Wolf-whistles and jeering shot out from the corsair, and somewhere in the tropical woods, Groojaw attempted to set of one of his hand-made firecrackers, accidentally lighting an unfortunate palm-tree ablaze. Ublaz hardly noticed the commotion. He looked at Sagitar, who turned on one stillettoed heel, throwing him a deadly look over her shoulder before melting back into the procession of roistering sea vermin.
Rasconza's eyes hardened, and Ublaz could tell he wasn't teasing anymore, "Now even you're Trident-rats have deserted you. You're finished, Ublaz!"
Then, whipping out his dagger, the fox pounced.
Ublaz knew it had been coming. He may have been filthy rich and spoilt, but he hadn't become emperor of Sampetra for nothing. Dodging to one side he knocked the rebel leader flat with a clever blow on the back of his neck, then landed a swift kick in his side.
While his adversary lay, momentarily winded Ublaz gazed up at the wave vermin surging down the hilltop straight for him, and gulped back his fear. Lask and his lizard archers will cover you when you make your escape, he told himself, as he turned and dashed for the wall. With his paws pounding the earth like pistons, he might have made it if it hadn't been for his distracted Monitor General.
"Raise the portcullis, and let me in," the pine marten shouted, and Lask, who still had been flirting with Zurgat, dropped his martini in surprise at the sight of the corsairs pouring towards the palace gate.