It's a few days later and Meredith is laying in bed feeling extremely weak. Other than to go to the bathroom she just lays in bed because she doesn't have any energy to do anything else.
Meredith sits up slowly and tries to hear if Derek is nearby.
"Derek?" She calls out softly. When she doesn't hear him, she slowly stands up, feeling dizzy but doesn't sit back down. She looks back at her bed, longing to lay back down, but at the same time really needs to pee. When she looks back down at her bed she gasps because there is a large amount of hair on her pillow. She touches her head and realizes that the majority of her hair is now gone.
"No!!!" She cries out. "My hair!"
Crying, she tries to walk over to the bathroom. She holds onto the wall as she walks so she doesn't collapse.
"Derek." Meredith whispers weakly. "Help me please." She can barely walk but Meredith is as stubborn as ever and forces herself to keep going. She falls to the ground but stays conscious and crawls to the bathroom.
Derek happens to walk in then and sees her crawling to the bathroom. "Meredith!"
"Derek!" She sobs. "M-my hair is gone! And I need to pee but I'm so dizzy and can't walk. And I'm falling behind the rest of my intern group! Everything's so hard!" She wails. "I just want to be healthy again!"
Derek realizes Meredith is mostly bald at that point. It didn't even click until just then. He goes over to her and lifts her up. "It's okay, Mer. Everything will be okay. Let's let you go to the bathroom first and then we'll deal with your hair." He carries her over to the toilet and she lowers her pajama pants.
After a few minutes she says , "Derek! I have to go but I can't!"
"Have you drank anything recently?" Derek is thinking that Meredith must be extremely dehydrated.
"I tried, but I'm just not thirsty. And it just doesn't taste good." Meredith says softly.
"Meredith, I know you don't want to drink but you have to. We need to keep you hydrated. And as for the taste, we can try putting flavor into water for you to see if that helps at all. What do you think about that?"
"I can try. But I really need to pee now Derek but I can't! I have to go so bad!"
"Okay. Let's try for a few more minutes and if you still can't go then we'll try later. If you can't go later, we're going to go to the hospital and get you IV fluids."
A few minutes later Meredith still can't go. "I can't." She says sadly.
"That's okay! We will try later."
"Derek?" She whispers
"Yeah Mer?"
"Since the majority of my hair is gone, can you shave the rest of it please?" She weakly asks, still sitting on the toilet. She shivers.
"Yes, of course I will. Come on, let's get you in some more layers of clothing. You're shivering."
"I'm really cold." Meredith weakly says.
Derek helps her over to a chair he just put in front of the mirror. Meredith keeps her eyes away from the mirror, unable to see herself without much hair.
Derek sees this and moves her chair so she doesn't have to see herself. "Hey, you are beautiful with or without hair."
Meredith nods.
Derek grabs one of his sweaters and helps her put it on and then covers her with a blanket.
"You ready?" He asks.
She nods.
He starts shaving off the rest of hair.
Meredith closes her eyes tightly, not wanting to see any strands of hair fall to the floor. She clutches onto the ends of the Derek's sweater that she's wearing.
Since she doesn't have very much left he is done in five minutes. When he finishes he wraps her head with a scarf so her head will stay warm.
"Okay, let's get you back to bed now." Derek picks her up and she puts her arms around his neck weakly holding on.
Derek puts her in bed and tucks her in. He gives her extra blankets as she's still shivering.
"You are beautiful Meredith. Never forget that. You are beautiful with or without hair. I love you so much." Derek says and gives her a kiss on the forehead. "Take a little nap Mer."
"I can't sleep! I'm falling behind the rest of my intern group because I can't work!I want to become a surgeon but at this rate it's never going to happen. I can't practice sutures either because I just get so exhausted." All of a sudden Meredith leans forward with her hand clutching her stomach.
"'Mer? Are you okay?" Derek asks concerned.
"My stomach hurts!" She cries.
"I'm going to grab you some pain medicine." Derek stands up and grabs her some water and some medicine.
"Here you go Mer." He gives her the cup of water and the pills. She quickly swallows both.
"The water doesn't taste good!" She complains.
"I know. We will figure something out for that. Get some sleep Mer."
"Okay." She whispers, still feeling the sharp pains in her belly. She quickly falls asleep and Derek sighs in relief, unable to see her in so much pain.
Derek goes to the other room while Meredith sleeps. He gives Bailey a call and they set up a plan.
A few hours later that afternoon there's a knock at the door. Derek gets up to answer it and greets Bailey at the door.
"Hi Bailey."
"Hey Shepherd. How is she doing?" Bailey asks softly.
"Not well. I had to shave her head this morning. The majority of the rest of her hair fell out so she had me shave it." Derek says with tears in her eyes. "And she's unable to go to the bathroom, she's extremely dehydrated. If she can't go later, I'm taking her in for IV fluids. She couldn't even walk to the bathroom. I caught her crawling towards the bathroom."
Bailey nods. "Poor thing. She must be extremely dehydrated if she can't even pee. I agree about IV fluids. Maybe she needs a catheter also? That way her hydration levels can be tracked easily and so she doesn't have to get up to go to the bathroom. And I remember you saying she's had accidents recently. Is she sleeping right now?"
"Yeah. She's been sleeping for the past three hours now."
Just then a cry is heard from upstairs.
"Sounds like she's awake." Derek says and they both head upstairs to see Meredith.
They get there and see Meredith holding onto the wall for support. They rush over to her and hold her upright.
"Derekkkkk. I need to pee but I'm so dizzy. I can't get to the bathroom."
"We will help you. Mer, you need to wait for me to come and help you to the bathroom. You can't walk to the bathroom on your own anymore." Derek said softly, while he and Bailey helped her into the bathroom and sat her on the toilet.
"I tried! But you didn't hear me!" Meredith said softly, trying to pee.
"I'm sorry that I didn't hear you Mer." Derek said to her.
"Any luck Mer?" Bailey said, worried about her intern. She can see how much more weight Meredith has lost in the past week and isn't liking what she sees. Meredith was already tiny before she got sick but now she's lost even more weight. She saw Meredith recently for her chemo appointment and didn't like her weight then but can tell she's lost more since then.She can tell Meredith is really underweight.
"No! I need to pee but I can't!" Meredith sobs. "Please! I need to go!"
"Shh, it's okay Mer. We will figure this out." Bailey tells her intern.
"Derek, can I talk to you out there?" Bailey says to Derek.
"Meredith, we'll be right back. Keep trying" Derek says.
They leave the bathroom.
"Derek, she is not okay. She can't pee. She is very dehydrated. She needs fluids. And has she been eating? She's lost so much weight. She can't afford any of this weight loss. She needs a feeding tube."
Derek sighs. "She throws up everything she tries to eat. Even water. Either that or she just doesn't try to eat or drink because she gets so nauseas. You're right. She needs a feeding tube."
"Let's bring her in now and give her IV fluids and a feeding tube. She needs both. And honestly I think she needs a catheter as well. She can't even make it to the bathroom on her own and has accidents. This will help us monitor her hydration levels."
"Okay. Yeah, let's bring her in now."
They go back into the bathroom.
"Any luck?" Derek asks.
"No!" Meredith says sadly.
"We're going to go to the hospital now sweetie."
"Okay." She says weakly, too tired to fight them on this.
They drive to the hospital and get there a little while later. They get Meredith settled in an exam room. They get Meredith started on IV fluids.
"Okay, Mer, I'm going to insert a feeding tube. We need to get nutrients in you if you can't get them in normally. We can't have you losing any more weight."
"I don't want a feeding tube." Meredith whispers.
"You need one Mer. Please don't fight us on this." Bailey says.
"Okay." Meredith whispers weakly. "I'm tired."
"You can sleep soon." Bailey says softly to her. Bailey starts working on getting the feeding tube into Meredith and is soon successful.
"Can I administer the feedings myself?" Meredith whispers, wanting to control some part of her life.
"No Meredith." Derek tells her softly. "Let me handle this for you sweetie."
Meredith nods, barely able to keep her eyes open.
"One more thing Meredith. I need to insert a catheter in you." Bailey tells her.
"Why?" Meredith whispers, her eyes showing how scared she is.
"You can't get to the bathroom on your own and this will be a good way to keep an eye on your hydration levels." Bailey tells her.
"Oh." Meredith whispers. "Is it going to hurt?"
"It'll be a little uncomfortable but it won't hurt."
"Okay." Meredith sighs and lets some tears out. She is exhausted and fighting to stay awake.
"You are going to be just fine, Meredith Grey." Bailey says, stroking Meredith's forehead.
Bailey gets to work and gets the catheter into her intern. Meredith was gripping Derek's hand the whole time and could barely keep her eyes open.
"All done Mer. Why don't you get some sleep?" Bailey says. Bailey noticed Meredith was barely awake during the entire procedure and was fighting falling asleep. "Don't fight it and just let your body rest. You need all the sleep you can get Meredith."
Meredith closes her eyes and lets her body fall asleep.
"I hate this so much." Derek says softly.
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