The next day Meredith has her next round of chemo. She's sound asleep in her bed with Derek holding her hand as she sleeps. Her hand feels so cold in his hand.
Dr Bailey comes into Meredith's room pushing a little cart of medical equipment. "She's still sleeping, Shepherd?"
Derek sighs and nods. "She's been sleeping for the entire morning. She woke up once and couldn't keep her eyes open. She wasn't even fully awake. I don't know which is worse, the headaches or her sleeping constantly. She has no energy Bailey. She's so weak."
Bailey looks sadly at Meredith sleeping and walks closer to her. "Her body needs lots of rest for her to get better. This is a very hard battle for her, she needs all the rest she can get."
"Yeah, I know. It's just hard to see her asleep all of the time. Before she got sick, she never slept during the day. And now she's sleeping 24/7. I just hate this whole thing! Why her?! Why did Meredith have to get sick? She's been put through so much trauma during her life, she doesn't deserve to be put through anything else!"
"I agree completely with you, Derek. I just hate what she has to go through in order to get better." Bailey sighs. "I'm going to start her chemo now and draw some more blood. You should get some rest and eat something."
"I don't want to leave her." Derek argues.
"Derek, you're of no use to her if you're exhausted. You know that."
"Bailey, I promise you I've eaten and rested. Don't worry about me. She's the one we need to worry about."
Bailey puts her hands up in surrender. "Okay. As long as you're okay. We all love and care about her."
"I know." Derek smiles at Bailey. "I'm going to turn her on her side now so we can prevent pressure sores."
"Would you like my help?" Bailey asks.
"Sure. Thank you Bailey." Derek stands up and pulls back Meredith's blankets.
"Derek… she's lost even more weight." Bailey gasps when Meredith's body is revealed. Meredith looks so tiny in the big hospital bed. The hospital gown looks even bigger on her than before.
"Even with the feeding tube, she's still losing weight." Derek sighs, shaking his head. "She just has no appetite and even when she does attempt to eat she just ends up throwing it all up."
"Let's add some extra feedings in the tube to try to keep her from losing any more weight." Bailey says.
"Yeah. Let's try that." Derek nods. "Okay, I'm moving her on three. One. Two. Three." With his hands under her body, he gently turns her to her side.
"Owwwwww. Stopppp." Meredith whines, waking up. "It hurts!"
Derek sees the tears start streaming down her face.
"Hey. Shh. You're okay Mer. We've got you." Derek soothes.
"It hurts!" Meredith whines.
"I know, but it's important we keep moving your body so we can prevent pressure sores."
"No! Don't want to be moved." She cries.
"Mer, sweetie. You're okay. Shh." Bailey soothes and rubs Meredith's head gently while Meredith stays as still as possible in order to not feel any pain.
"Meredith, I'm going to hook you up to your chemo now sweetie. And then draw some blood." Bailey says. She quickly connects the chemo bag to Meredith's central line and starts the treatment. She then draws some blood and hands it off to an intern to be sent to the lab.
Meredith can't keep her eyes open any longer. Her eyes slowly close and she drifts off to sleep.
———————-
A few hours have passed and it's time for Derek to move her again.
Derek stands up from his chair and accidentally drops his book onto the floor which makes a little noise.
Meredith is startled and wakes up. "Der?" She whispers.
"Hi Mer. How was your nap?"
Meredith shrugs. "It was fine. My head hurts though."
"How bad is it?"
"Like a 5." She whispers.
"I'm sorry, Mer. Do you want some more pain meds?" He asks.
"Not right now." She whispers.
Derek nods. "Okay. I'm going to turn you again Mer."
Meredith's eyes widen. "Please don't! It hurts so bad! And I'm already in pain! Please!" Meredith cries softly.
"Mer, we have to do this. You know that."
"No, I don't want to. It's going to hurt! And my body already feels like it's burning!" She starts crying harder. "I hurt so badly Derek!"
"Can I please go get you some pain meds? I can't handle seeing you in this much pain." Derek says.
"They make me even more sleepy than I already am. I don't want to sleep more." She whines.
"Okay, but if it gets any worse you need to tell me."
Meredith nods. "Derek?"
"Yeah Mer?"
"I want Cristina. I need my person." She whispers.
"Let me page her." He pulls out his pager and sends a page to Cristina.
He gets a reply from a nurse two minutes later. He sighs, not wanting to tell Meredith.
"Mer, Cristina is stuck in surgery and can't come. I'm sorry." He tells her.
"But I need my person." She whispers weakly.
"I'm sorry, Mer. Do you want me to lay with you?"
"I want my person." Meredith says weakly.
Everything is just becoming too much for Meredith and she starts sobbing which exhausts her even more. "I want my person! I need her! Please Derek! And my head hurts but I don't want pain meds! I don't want to sleep!"
Derek takes her hand and she tries to move her hand away from him but she's just too weak so she keeps her hand in his.
Derek sees her crying and it breaks his heart.
"I don't feel good!" Meredith cries weakly.
"I know Mer, I know you don't."
"How much longer till she's done?" She whispers weakly, barely making a sound. Derek had to listen very closely to hear her.
"I'm not sure Mer."
All of a sudden Meredith sits up and throws up all over herself. She starts crying more.
"Oh Mer!" Derek rushes to help her.
"I don't feel good!!!" Meredith sobs and throws up more.
Derek presses the call button for some help from the nurses. He feels her forehead and discovers it's a little warm so he puts a wet cloth on her forehead to help cool her down.
"Der-" Meredith starts but starts gagging and throws up more.
A nurse shows up and starts helping as soon as she enters the room.
"She won't stop throwing up!" Derek says loudly. "She has a fever also."
"I want Cristina!" Meredith wails.
"I'm going to give her more anti-nausea meds." The nurse says and injects that into her IV. "Let me check her temperature." The nurse takes Meredith's temperature. "She has a low grade fever. Most likely just from the chemo."
"Cristina." Meredith whispers weakly. "I want Cristina."
Derek nods and pages her again. He gets a response saying she's coming.
"Mer, she's coming now." He soothes. "You're okay. The anti nausea should help you."
"I'm cold." Meredith whispers.
"I'll grab you another blanket." The nurse says and grabs one and puts it on top of Meredith.
"Thanks." Meredith whispers, struggling to keep her eyes open. Her eyes keep fluttering closed and then she forces them open so that she's awake for when Cristina arrives.
"Mer, don't fight it sweetie." Derek sees her fighting sleep.
"Wanna see Cris." Meredith mumbles with her eyes barely open.
Just then Cristina runs into the room. "Hey Mer." She says softly.
"Hi." Meredith mumbles, barely awake.
Cristina gets into bed with Meredith and rubs her head to comfort her. Meredith snuggles her body closer to her person as Cristina rubs her head. Meredith finally gives in to sleep and her eyelids flutter shut.
Cristina sees that she's now sleeping. "How is she doing? How's today's chemo going?" She asks softly.
Derek shakes his head and holds Meredith's hand in his. "She's absolutely exhausted and so, so weak. She's been super sick and has a low fever. She's so weak, Cristina. She's just not herself at all. She kept crying for you and keeping herself from sleeping so she could see you. She was crying in pain when I had to turn her on her side." He wipes a tear away and gets up to check on her IV and looks at the screen monitoring her vitals.
Cristina looks at her person sleeping. "I feel so bad for her. I want her to feel better already."
I hope you liked! Sorry for the delay! Was busy with the last week of dance classes for the year. But now I should have more time to write for all of my stories! Leave a review pleaseeee