AN: I am SO SORRY. I did not mean to go that long without updating, and I really do apologize for the wait! I mean, even I was impatient with myself :P
That said, lemme try to rationalize my lateness. This was a rather special case, and it shouldn't happen again. This week was special because all of the early decision applicant to colleges (any seniors, reading, you'll know what I mean) were getting their college acceptance/deferral/rejection letters. That includes me.
Let me tell you all something. Writing does not work when you're nauseous from anxiety over whether or not you got into college. It just doesn't, particularly when it's fluff. So sorry. I just couldn't do it. Now, however, it's all nicely fixed.
Cuz I actually got into my first choice, Cornell University. Dance for me :P
Thus, college worries are OVER, and I can focus properly on the truly important things in life: writing this fic, and hunting Aoyama's BLOOD.
Yuppers :P.
So, we have chapter 14 finished, but before we go on to it, I think I'll answer some reviewers, simply because it's been sooo long, and I just happen to feel like it. That, and it's only 11:50 PM, which is very early for me after my usual 1 AM bedtimes.
Jenvaati: Yes, he must be cured. That doesn't mean we have to stop the fluff, though :P.
Dust-in: You're just like my friend Toni (Sugary Fluff). She's gone psycho over Pai/Lettuce. She loves that pairing. Thus, I will probably have to put in more P/L moments. If I don't, she'll eat me. Will I ever write a fic? Maybe a drabble, some day. Perhaps. Or maybe I can get Toni to write one… hehe.
BondageCareBear: Mhmm… Masaya must die. I think the universe has established this as a general law of nature.
KishuxIchigo4lyf: I'm updating, I'm updating. I know, long wait, but what can I say? Waiting for college decisions is nasty.
Snowbluerat: Ooh… you're the Pai/Kisshu writer, aren't you? Along with zoshu, I think. You know, if I wasn't so K/I obsessed and such a P/L supporter, I'd prolly go for K/P. I'm usually a yaoi-supporter as it is. Hehe. Thanks for the review.
Camurei4ever: I try to keep my grammar in check, really, I do :P. And I also have a rabid fear of ruining characters, so your review means a lot to me. Thanks! Oh, and now I'm rather proud; I love converting people. I turned Toni onto P/L, and Sheeba… well, she turned herself onto R/L after ep 41. Still, I did manage to get them both off of I/M. That's a nice accomplishment, no? I hope your fondness for the pairing continues to grow!
Everyone else: Thanks a lot, you guys! Your reviews do mean so much to me, and again, I'm sorry for taking so long!
Another little thing. I've actually found an I/M fic I like. Yea, I know, cringe, gasp, through sharp pointy objects. How dare I, eh? Well, this one is just funny. Go read it if you feel like it. The title's "My Christmas Kitten," and it's written by Rurouni Linda-sama. It's just hilarious, even though it's Aoyama.
Ok… anything else… lesse…
Oh! I did write that drabble. Hah. So I haven't been entirely useless. If you feel like reading that, go into my profile. Not hard to find :P.
I do have my TMM Pairings Proof According to the Laws of Botanical Aesthetics, but that can wait until the next author's note. I think we all just want to get to the chapter. So, without further ado…
Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own it. Let's check ep 45… mhmm. Definitely still don't own it.
Unsurprisingly, Ichigo was immensely eager to give her charge the medication. Lettuce had to take a step back to keep the other girl from grabbing the vial.
"Lettuce, give me the—"
"Ichigo-san," she answered gently, unconsciously fingering the bottle, "I think we should see if there are directions first, just to be safe."
Ichigo blushed. Oh… duh. She looked down at the ground, momentarily embarrassed at her lack of thought. Then again, she couldn't really blame herself, could she? As Lettuce peered at the medicine, Ichigo turned around to gaze back at the sleeping alien. No, not at all. Her desperation was totally justified.
Still, she was glad Lettuce was thinking clearly.
Her train of though was interrupted by her friend giving a soft noise of curiosity, fingers running over the bottle's glass surface as she murmured to herself, "There are instructions written here…" Ichigo waited, breath catching in her throat as a sudden wave of anxiety (What if there's something wrong with it?) overtook her. She relaxed when Lettuce let out the breath she had been holding, a small smile lightening her expression.
"It says that it reduces fever and helps whomever takes it sleep. One spoonful every six hours. But…" she squinted to make out the remaining text, "it says it's rather strong. He probably shouldn't take it on an empty stomach, Ichigo."
The girl's face fell. She had been hoping to give Kisshu the medicine right away.
That, and she had not prepared any food.
"I don't have any—"
To her surprise, Lettuce's smile grew stronger. Her eyes flickered to the thermos of miso soup sitting on the dresser, patiently waiting to be put to good use, then focused on the nervous cat-girl's face. "You asked me to bring some food, remember?"
Oh, Ichigo blinked, yeah…
Now she allowed herself a faint smile as well.
"Then I guess I should…"
"I'll go downstairs and make some more soup for later, ok? If you need me…"
"I'll call you," Ichigo answered with a smile that was growing ever brighter, ever more relieved. "Thank you, Lettuce."
The other girl answered with her own sweet smile before exiting the room, closing the door softly behind her. Before she turned away to walk down the hallway and descend the stairs, she could not keep a light sigh from escaping her as her smile softened.
She knew that everything would be fine.
How it was that she knew, she could not say.
It had to do with the medicine, of course. Now that they had that vial with its precious contents, Kisshu's chances looked infinitely better.
That was not all of it, however. This thought made her blush slightly, why, she could not understand.
There was something besides the medicine, something in the new way Ichigo looked at the alien boy. She had heard it first, in Ichigo's voice over the phone, in the sharp fear that had governed her tone. She had seen it in Ichigo's eyes whenever she looked at him; it shone within that gaze of sincere concern.
At first, it had confused her, and that had been totally expected when, for so long, Ichigo had had that special tender look for Aoyama and Aoyama alone. Lettuce had been perplexed when she first witnessed Ichigo's kindness connected with Kisshu, but now, after seeing the cat-girl softly quiet the alien boy, after feeling that sense of reassuring warmth when her friend saw the medicine that would help put an end to her charge's suffering, she knew a feeling of peace with the ordeal.
It was no real secret, in her mind, that she had left not only to prepare some more food, but also to leave the two alone together.
Ichigo loved Aoyama.
Kisshu was an alien, and, technically, still the enemy.
That was all true, but it did not smother Lettuce's instinctive urge to leave the two alone together, to allow a chance for this new tenderness within Ichigo to grow.
Despite the rules… Lettuce knew something could happen.
Would happen…
All of these thoughts contributed to that secret little smile that rested in her features as she began to search Ichigo's kitchen for whatever ingredients she might need.
As soon as Lettuce left, Ichigo hurried to the dresser, grabbed the still-warm thermos of miso soup, and sat down in the desk chair beside the bed. Before moving to wake Kisshu, she unscrewed the lid, inhaling the aroma of the soup and smiling again, sending a mental thank you to her companion. With that, she slowly poured the stuff into the bowl that had remained from the ramen she had fed the alien the day before. With all the events of the past twenty-four hours, she had not had time to take it back downstairs. It was just as well; somewhere in the back of her mind, she realized that she did not want to leave the boy's side again, not even for a minute.
Setting the bowl down on the night table, she began to reach out to shake the alien awake, hesitating momentarily as she gazed at his relaxed face. Ichigo didn't really want to wake him; getting him to fall asleep was so difficult, but a single glance at the dangerous flush coloring his cheeks eliminated her doubts. Besides, she thought with a small wave of determination, the medicine should help him sleep, anyway.
Confidence renewed, she bit her lip lightly as she touched his shoulder, but still couldn't find it in her to jolt him awake like that.
Her solution? Without even thinking about what she was doing, she left his shoulder in favor of his cheek, tenderly caressing it, quietly saying his name until his eyes fluttered open to alight upon a new smile quickly settling on her face.
Immediately, she saw that in spite of his open eyes, he could hardly be called alert. That, and there was a spark of growing confusion in his golden irises that called up that familiar pang of sympathy. Before even touching upon the subject of taking the medication, she felt the need to extinguish that spark as much as she possibly could.
"Hey, Kisshu," she murmured, taking to brushing his hair back as his eyes slowly focused on her. To her delighted relief, his pale lips gradually mirrored her smile, and he answered her in a weak, but calm rasp.
"Hey, koneko-chan…" he stopped to cough lightly, and Ichigo felt her eyes mist over, because she knew instantly that he was trying to sound more like himself, using that pet name as he did, trying to act as he usually did in an effort to reassure her. This, combined with her memory of him telling her not to cry when he was in so much obvious pain… it only urged her on in her efforts to comfort him.
"How do you feel?" she went on, trying to make him more alert before trying to feed him and give him the medicine. To her surprise, he gave a half-hearted snicker that turned into a cough before answering.
"You really…" he took a few breaths, suddenly seeming to grow dizzy and recovering just as quickly, "wanna know?"
Ichigo could only struggle to keep that reassuring smile on her lips and her worry in check while she continued smoothing back his hair, shaking her head lightly in the only response she could give.
Deciding that he was finally aware enough, she brought up the good news she had been waiting to give.
"We got the medicine, Kisshu," her smile grew, her voice turning ever sweeter, "After you eat something, I'll give it to you, and you'll feel much better."
She grew more worried, more pressured to follow through, when it took him a few moments to actually process the information, and even after that, he gazed back at her with confusion tingeing the gold of his eyes.
"Where…?"
Now it was her turn to be baffled. "Where… where what?"
He sighed softly before answering, closing his eyes again to ward off another bout of apparent dizziness. It called up another pang of fear within the girl; she suddenly worried about him tiring before she had a chance to give him the treatment he needed.
"Where… from where…"
"Oh! We got it from Pai," she explained, a bright smile meeting his questioning look as she reached for the soup, believing all his questions dealt with. She was shocked to see him shake his head, barely-focused eyes adopting a glint of… fear, perhaps? Definitely mistrust.
"No, no… he's not… wouldn—" he broke off coughing, Ichigo looking on anxiously as he struggled to complete whatever statement he was trying to say, "Deep Blue… too… wouldn't…"
It seemed to take much of his energy out of him, and he lay back against the headboard and pillows with a gasp of pain and exhaustion as Ichigo watched, a cold dread forming in the pit of her stomach.
"No, Kisshu, he did, he really…" she bit her lip, suddenly realizing that the alien probably did not remember the encouragement he had given Lettuce to go ask Pai, that he probably did not even remember that the other girl had been here. He certainly could not know… know what? How did Ichigo herself know that the medicine was real, and not, perhaps, some sort of poison meant to finish the weakened alien?
It had to do with the way Pai had looked when he had seen Kisshu.
The gratitude in his gaze as he tossed the vial to Lettuce was also a chief reason for Ichigo's confidence.
How was she going to explain all of this to the rapidly-tiring Kisshu?
She had to try, at least.
"He was here, Kisshu. Lettuce brought him. She asked him for the medicine, and he—"
"Ohh…" Kisshu suddenly murmured, startling Ichigo enough to make her flinch. Accompanying this sigh of acceptance was a shadow of a grin that shocked Ichigo even more.
"The fishy did it… sure… he likes the fishy…" he ended with a delirious giggle before lapsing into shallow, rasping breaths, leaving Ichigo silent and staring.
On one hand, she was rather thankful for it having been that easy to convince him.
On the other, his instant switch into a delirious near-babble scared her senseless.
On yet another, she wondered exactly what he meant by "he likes the fishy"…
That last thought was ignored in favor of picking up the bowl of miso soup, cradling it in her lap, and spooning some of it up for him. She did not bother with chopsticks now; her need to get that medicine in him as quickly as possible was too great. Instead, she softly said his name, grabbing his attention before bringing a spoonful of the stuff to his lips. He only stared at it for a moment, either too tired to eat it, or wondering exactly what it was, before seeming to realize that he was, in fact, rather hungry despite his illness. After he took one spoonful, she prepared the next, and the next, until half the bowl was emptied. He leaned back, and Ichigo saw it was useless to push him to eat more; he had thoroughly exhausted any energy his recent short slumber had granted him, and now she would have to give him the medication quickly, before he lost consciousness again.
Setting the bowl down, she picked up the small bottle, eyes quickly scanning the directions again before she grabbed the spoon and poured the syrupy substance onto it. Ichigo almost made a face at the sharp, nearly chemical smell coming off of it, but stopped herself quickly, remembering that such a gesture could keep Kisshu from taking the medicine. His mind was so unstable, that she needed true care in handling him.
Thus, she quietly presented the stuff to him. Sure enough, he wrinkled his nose in weak disgust; even sick, he could tell that taking the red liquid would be markedly unpleasant. The reaction coaxed a faint chuckle from the girl; she would have been more amused had she not been so desperate to see him take it.
"Don't like that stuff," Kisshu mumbled, eying the medication with all the wariness returned to his gaze. "Burns every time…"
"Please, Kisshu?" she tried to make her voice as pleading as possible to encourage him. Truth be told, she was so anxious to help him, she didn't have to try very hard at all. "It'll make you feel better," she insisted, eyes holding his tired gaze. "I promise," she added in a softer tone, and this seemed to fully sway him. He obediently took the mouthful, swallowing it and, to Ichigo's dismay and startled fright, began coughing violently as soon as the stuff reached his throat.
Apparently, when he said it burned, he was not joking.
She frantically poured another glass of water, but saw that making him drink at this point would only lead to his choking. All she could do was put a gentle hand on his back and try to reassure him as much as she could with her warm touch as he struggled to regain his breath.
When he was finally able to breathe somewhat normally, she offered him the water, which he drank slowly, wincing, she noticed, with every swallow.
"It… it really burns?" she whispered to herself, starting slightly when he nodded in response, and she realized he had heard her.
It came again, that overwhelming wave of sympathy, as she squirmed at the thought of the liquid causing him so much discomfort. He spoke again, a simple, frail "It does," and she could tell that his throat was burning worse than ever.
"Do you want some tea?" she asked quietly, her hand coming to rest on his knee while he slowly shook his head. "It'll st—" she swallowed hard as he fell into another painful coughing fit, flinching visibly as his eyes watered from the horrid sensation. The episode left him fairly gasping, and all Ichigo could do was sit down on the edge of the bed, reaching out to stroke one of his pigtails in an effort to calm him.
Almost automatically, he leaned towards that source of comfort, and she allowed him to rest against her. As he lay his head against her shoulder, he trembled with a sudden chill, and the girl unconsciously wrapped an arm around him, ever gentle in regards to his bandaged shoulder.
"Are you cold?" she murmured, but he ignored the query, instead giving a faint sigh.
"Tired…"
That's right… this stuff should help him sleep.
Sure enough, his eyes were beginning to close. She began to shift away from him, gingerly laying him down, when he made a soft noise of protest. She stopped, giving him a gentle, but confused look.
"Don't you want to sleep?" she asked, smile lifting her lips as she again tried to get up and allow him to lie down, only to suddenly feel his weak grip on her arm. Her eyes flickered to his face, and she froze momentarily, surprised to see him looking back at her, a pleading expression shining through the fever in his eyes.
"Don't… could you… could you please…?" he averted his eyes abruptly, and Ichigo realized that the flush on his cheeks was deepening not because his fever had suddenly risen, but because he was blushing. This inspired an actual, sincere smile.
It was quite funny, really, that when he was being rude, cruel, or annoyingly possessive, he could leap in and kiss her without the minutest shred of humility. Now, however, faced with sincere need and a real desire to have Ichigo close to him, he turned bashful.
In spite of the situation, Ichigo could not get that smile off her face.
That was adorable.
It also called up absolutely no doubt within her mind, and she answered him immediately.
"Sure."
With that, she carefully positioned herself behind him, sitting up against the headboard while remembering that he had claimed his breathing was easier when he was upright. Relaxing on some of the pillows stacked up against the headboard, she gingerly pulled the alien to her with one arm, grabbing the blankets with the other. Another light shiver from him compelled her to tuck the blankets in around both of them.
A few moments later, when she was sure the boy was totally covered, she wrapped her arms around him as he curled up against her, laying his head on her chest before closing his eyes. He murmured something that sounded like a thank-you, but she couldn't be sure; the medicine was beginning to kick in, and a tranquil silence settled over the two.
For a few minutes, this silence reigned supreme, and Ichigo thought Kisshu had fallen asleep. She was drifting off herself, and so was startled awake at the sound of her name.
"Ichigo?"
"Mmm?" she replied, a hand slowly stroking his hair as she looked down at him, a wisp of drowsy pleasure tickling her at the sight of a faint smile on his relaxed face.
"…feel just like mom…" he whispered back, shifting slightly, cuddling against her more, curling up until she could feel his legs brush her arms.
It occurred to her that she had never really thought about his having a mother. That notion had never come up. Now, after the initial shock inspired by the statement, her countenance softened. She laid her cheek against the top of his head, arms giving him a gentle squeeze as she realized, very suddenly yet with a natural, accepting happiness, that this ranked as perhaps the greatest compliment she had ever received.
All of the comments Aoyama had ever made on her looks, her personality, and her actions, simply paled in comparison to this sleepy whisper from the alien boy. Perhaps it was the peace of the moment, or her bone-deep relief at finally having given her charge the treatment he needed. Maybe it had to do with the way he nuzzled her, so content to just be able to feel her tender caress. She could not know the reason, but that mattered so little, not at all, as she buried her fingers in his hair.
The most interesting and most…telling… part about it was that not once did she hear from that normally tireless voice that preached the virtues of Aoyama. Nothing. Not the softest, tiniest peep.
That voice could not have been further from her thoughts as she smiled, chuckling just a bit before murmuring back, "What's she like?" She somewhat regretted asking after the act was done; she was really hoping the boy would fall asleep. Even so, his voice, however rough and rasping, brought her a tinge of joy and comfort that she did not want to ignore. Besides, she reflected, the medicine would put him to sleep soon, and it would probably be more reassuring to him to have her gently talk him to sleep rather than have him lay silent, able to focus only on his own pain and weakness before sleep finally took him. Thus, she continued to gently play with one of his pigtails as he answered.
"Nice… smells like…" he drifted off before the name came to his mind, "…like vanilla." Eyes still closed, he smiled. "Feels like you… warm, like you…" he breathed deeply for a few moments before adding, a wistful tone invading his voice, "didn't want me to go…"
Go? Go where…? Ichigo wondered to herself as she looked down at Kisshu, bemusement crossing over her face before she uttered a soft, almost inaudible gasp, understanding coming in a sharp jolt.
She didn't want him to come here…
So many new thoughts, new realizations, flooded her mind, none of them cheerful. Her eyes filled with sympathetic tears, as one of her fingers caressed his cheek.
Had his mother been afraid for him? She must have been. Of course, she was a mother, after all. If her mother knew what she did on a regular basis, fighting terrible monsters, she'd surely throw a fit. How did his mother feel with her son countless miles away on a planet that was largely alien in spite of her people's legend about it? What could she possibly think about her child being so far away on such a dangerous mission?
She was probably scared senseless by the mere thought of it.
If she's anything like my mother, she must worry every day, every minute…
And she has good reason, Ichigo quietly told herself, her focus back on the sick alien boy. Suddenly, her thoughts took a different turn that only strengthened that feeling of empathy.
How did he feel about it? So far from the home he had known for his entire life… away from his mother and perhaps his siblings, his friends… so far away, now rejected by his comrades, rejected and alone and sick…
Now a tear did roll down her cheek.
He never acted it under normal circumstances, during their many battles, during his taunting, but after seeing his fear of death earlier today, after being with him for the past two, it occurred to her, bringing an unpleasant, sickening sensation of guilt, that for all his nonchalance, for his carefree attitude, he probably felt the same fears she felt on those days when she realized that she was only a child fighting to protect her entire planet.
How old was he? He couldn't have been much older than she.
A child… a child, just like she was, fighting to save his people from their suffering. Fighting, just like she, for what he believed in.
Ichigo felt fear for herself, for her friends, so often during the battles, and she was on her home planet, still near her family, still near those who could help her. Kisshu… he was so far from his entire life, and now the only connections he had to it, Pai and Taruto, had been taken away from him because… because of her.
She remembered what he had said during that same battle that had given him his wound, how he had spoken so passionately of his reasons… of Pai and Taruto's reasons…
He had seemed so loyal to that cause, yet he had thrown all of it away to awaken her… to save her life…
That meant…
God, that meant…
"She must be proud," she whispered to him, into his elfin ear, even with that tempest of growing compassion and regret forever whirling in her mind. "Very, very proud."
Ichigo knew that if her mother knew what she was doing, she'd be proud of her.
If that was true, then Kisshu's mother, waiting and worrying for a son whose job was so much harder than that of his human adversaries, must have been brimming with pride. Her son, Ichigo now thought, was braving so much, and he was so…
Alone… so utterly alone now…
I have Minto and Lettuce, and Pudding, and Zakuro, and even Shirogane and Akasaka-san… whom does he have? I've taken away all he had…
Her caresses, her gentle ministration, her reassuring murmurs… it all seemed so much more important now. Now, she knew a sense of… she did not know. Her mind was still reeling from those thoughts about his being afraid.
She was pulled out of them by his soft cough, followed by a faint chuckle.
"S'worth it… always wanted… just like this…"
At first, Ichigo was confused, pink eyes widening as she wondered what that had to do with his mother. As he lapsed into silence, shivering lightly with another chill in spite of his fever, as she gingerly rubbed his arms underneath the covers, careful not to harm his bandaged injury, to give him some extra warmth, she understood what he meant, and this time, the gasp was quite audible and followed by a soft, yet firm, "Kisshu, no, it's not—"
He managed to cut her off, even in his state, because of how flustered she was.
"Yeah… cuz you're so soft… so good…mine…I love…"
His words were so quiet, so frail, yet to her, they echoed with a volume she could not explain.
Rendered speechless, all she could do was hold back a sob as one arm came out from where it had been wrapped around him under the blankets, and she tenderly touched her palm to his cheek, holding him against her chest as he finally fell asleep.
It was done.
That was really quite funny, because she had not really been tracking it, and thus had no idea that it was nearing completion, or that it could near completion.
She had been aware of it when it began, of course, back when she found him in the snow and apologized to him, bringing him back and facing the start of his illness. She had felt it start then.
Then, however, she had forgotten it. In her desperation to battle his sickness, she had ignored it. Heck, not even in that desperation.
It had been in her desperation to keep things as they had always been, her desperation to ignore Lettuce, to ignore that night, that battle, that awakening.
She had tried, and she hadn't been aware of her failure until it was complete.
"Kisshu," she murmured, hushed so as not to wake him, "I'm sorry…"
The girl had to stop for a few seconds; the sob that threatened to escape her may have disturbed him.
"I'm sorry for what I did… for what I've cost you. I'm so sorry…"
Her hand moved from his cheek t his hair, and she began to run her fingers through it, brushing out the sweaty tangles that had formed over the course of his illness.
"It's so hard… it must be, for you. It's so hard to fight alone, even when you believe in something so much. But you still… you still…"
She could not bring herself to say "you still threw it away for me". If she did, she would not be able to control her tears.
"I'm sorry," she gasped, a sob slipping from her throat. For a moment, she laid her head against his, focusing on the feel of his hair against her cheek. The arm still wrapped around him moved, hand gingerly settling over the bandaged part of his chest, moving, searching until it felt the faint but steady beat of his heart. It stayed there for a few moments, and, her cheek still pressed against the sleeping Kisshu's head, Ichigo smiled through the tears, smiled, it seemed, with a sudden new resolution.
"I'm sorry for lying, Kisshu," she continued, lifting her head up to look down at him, down at a face whose flush seemed to have receded a bit, a face that was finally relaxed in a blessedly deep, peaceful sleep.
Her finger traced his cheek, his jawline, the edge of his ear, as she swallowed a sob of happiness before righting what she now saw as the greatest untruth she had ever uttered.
"I love you."
That affirmation was all that she needed to chase away those unsettling feelings of guilt and despair, all she needed to allow herself to close her eyes and join Kisshu in slumber.
This was how Lettuce found them, about half an hour later, when she came upstairs to check on her friend after wondering about the total quiet from upstairs.
She nudged the door open silently, her face adopting a tender expression as her eyes landed on the bundle of blankets and its occupants, both sleeping peacefully, both somehow looking much better than when she had seen them last.
Lettuce, of course, could attribute that to Kisshu's medicine and the relief it brought Ichigo.
As she smiled, she also knew that it was connected to that little something-else that could happen. That would happen…
That had happened.
With a last glance at the couple, Lettuce gently pulled the door closed and tiptoed downstairs.
Back in the room, Kisshu and Ichigo slept on, safe and peaceful in a warm embrace.
AN: My gods, the fluff. The FLUFF. Heh. Ok. Well, that's done. Hope you guys enjoyed it. So, until next time (which hopefully won't be nearly as long), I bid you adieu. Oh, and Dust-in, if you're reading this, I'd like to inform that I'm thinking about some P/L in the next chappie. That said, adios!