This chapter takes place after Chapter 46 in SFTD.

Well, Jax wasn't exactly incapacitated, so Eliza supposed she still had that conversation in store for her.

Eliza had finished up her conversation with May and made sure she would be settling in alright, and was now making her way down towards the Infirmary. She'd radioed Mordenna and apparently his followers had been there to greet him at the Armory and they assured the Hunter that he'd be seen to. Eliza was glad Jax wasn't majorly injured, but the suffering of her soldiers always weighed on her heavily nowadays. Before this conversation, she'd be making sure he was alright, first and foremost.

She tapped the panel to the Infirmary and stepped on in, composing herself. Jax was sitting on one of the Chosen beds, apparently in idle conversation with Samhien. Maria was close by, her veins aglow. She was probably helping Jax with his headache. In itself, not unusual. But, hm. It seemed Samhien had wanted to double check that Jax didn't have any more shrapnel hiding around, as Jax's armor was off, leaving him in his skintight undersuit. As much as she was concerned for Jax, that was a hell of an alluring sight. Forcing herself to shake her head and think more pure thoughts, Eliza began speaking as they all looked over to her. "Jax, Maria, Samhien. Is he doing alright?"

Sammy nodded, smiling at her. "Warlock Tessura is free of all foreign bodies and his wounds have been properly seen to. I must admire Hunter Mordenna's work in the field—it was rather... Spartan, but unusually skilled."

"What did he say, again...?" Jax scoffed. "Right. That it was best not to ask why he knew so much about human anatomy and how to patch up wounds, by extension. I would not think him beyond dissecting humans."

"Horrifying!" Eliza grinned. "Happy to hear you're doing alright, though. There weren't any pieces of shrapnel that Mordenna didn't catch?"

"One or two remained, but they had been embedded in the skin and were not suited for removal in the field, even with his tools." Samhien tapped a nearby table—one of those metal, small ones she saw in hospitals all the time. As she further approached, she could see a dish that contained two bits of metal, coated in orange blood. "These two required special tools to extract."

She nodded, looking to Jax. "And how are you feeling?"

"Less like a pincushion, more like my proper self." He offered her a graceful smile. "Maria willing, I will soon be free of this headache, as well. And, of course, that means you and I may indulge in that conversation you agreed to."

"Of course, of course." Eliza pulled up a chair nearby, taking a seat. "... you did pretty damn well in that haven, Jax. Doesn't take a keen eye like mine to see you were going all out in keeping both your squad and the members of the haven safe. Sucks that you got held up for your troubles, but your solving of that was admirable, too."

His smile turned a bit more prideful, and he puffed out his chest slightly. "If I may indulge, I appreciate your recognition of my efforts. It may have been trying, but I intend to put in no effort less than my best into this."

"A good attitude to have." She looked at Maria. "Rest of his congregation doing alright? Can only imagine hearing their Holy Father get stuck in front of a Sectopod blast might be a little distressing."

"They were certainly worried," she replied, "but I was able to convince them not to crowd the room as I assisted with his headache and Samhien took out the last pieces of shrapnel. I, of course, helped with the healing process afterwards."

"I do need you in here more often," Samhien said a bit sheepishly, "I do not seek to tire out your powers, but the ease with which you heal injuries would definitely speed up the recovery process."

Maria nodded. "I'd be more than happy to assist here. Just make sure to call me down when I'm required, alright?" When Sammy nodded, she turned back to Eliza. "I was also able to get them out of the room by suggesting they prepare the Studio so their Holy Father might be comfortable upon his return."

Jax looked like he knew something he shouldn't and he was amused by it. "Is that related to me witnessing them furtively smuggling some beanbags out of sight...?"

She put a hand on her chest. "You weren't supposed to know about that!"

He just laughed, shaking his head. "I can act well, my Matriarch. I may always pretend that I saw nothing and be pleasantly surprised by the beanbag that looks like you could hide Mordenna in it."

That got Eliza to laugh. "Oh, boy, if the Tailors are making beanbags I might ask for one in my room. Nice, lazy chairs. Could probably get a few for the Commons, as well."

"They would be more than happy to provide, Commander. Now." He addressed Maria. "I believe my headache is nearly nothing now, and if Samhien has nothing more to do with me, I believe the conversation I wish to have with Eliza would best be held in private, if you would allow me."

Maria nodded, standing up from the bed. "I'll make sure to let the rest of your congregation know that you are doing just fine, and that you certainly don't know what they have in store for you when you get back."

"I appreciate it. And, of course, if I forget, I would also like an extra item of this surprise I certainly have never heard of for my room."

The Matriarch laughed gently, patting Jax's shoulder. "I will be sure of it, my Warlock."

With that, she left the room, leaving Samhien to nod to Jax. "Come in after... four hours, I would presume for your accelerated healing, so that I may change your bandages. Let me know if you experience any bleeding from your stitches or bruising."

"Of course, Samhien."

Samhien took the medical table away from his bed, over to the sink area. As he deposited the shards in a biohazard bag, Eliza leaned back in her chair slightly. "... you sure you're alright with me just—"

"Eliza, if you are attempting to weasle your way out of this conversation," Jax interrupted, giving her a pointed look, "I will have you know that I fully intend to sit here and heal while I listen to you voice your grievances. It is what you should be allowed to do regardless of your position."

She waited for Sammy to leave before continuing, saying "see you later" as he left. After he did, she sighed. "Sorry. It's just terminally ingrained in me to just... deal with it all on my own. Leaders shouldn't show weakness, and all."

"To enemies? Absolutely. To allies? Close friends? I would imagine not." he then gestured to her. "Allow me to hear you out, Commander."

She bobbed her head, further leaning back in her chair. "Well, where to begin? I really do constantly bemoan the Council I had to deal with at First Contact... but granted, I might've given them valid reasons to question me and how I was going about things. Then again, I also feel that they would've given me no end of shit if I wasn't producing the results they wanted with better methods. But, hopefully they're all dead or sucking up to ADVENT, which is worse than death if you ask me."

"Absolutely. It's very much an immediate degradation of the self to do it willingly."

Eliza then weakly gestured at nothing in particular. "Still, with them dead I half-thought all of my troubles with that kind of stuff would be over when I woke up from my twenty year power nap. But, no! Turns out havens are more of the same." As she got more into it, her face twisted recounting all the times. "I've literally shown up to havens before, saved their asses, and then the leaders have the audacity to say to my face that things would've been better if I hadn't shown up, just because my soldiers failed to rescue a few people when they had gotten on the scene. Can't even do the gratifying thing of going 'well suit yourself' and leaving them to rot, because that really isn't a good look for the leader of XCOM to be doing. Old Me, maybe. Me now? Definitely not."

"It's a measure of character in the face of frustration to continue offering support to those who are ungrateful for it." He sighed. "Admittedly, were I in your shoes, even now I think I would leave them to fend for themselves. Perhaps seeing what it would be like without my help would truly ingrain the notion into their skulls."

"Yeah? Yeah. Sadly that's a fantasy I can't exactly live out." Eliza continued to gesture as she spoke. "Great power and great responsibility, and all. I actually leave them to die and they die, that really doesn't paint me in a good light. Still want to sometimes! Oh, lord, especially when they started getting uppity about me allying with the Skirmishers." She kneaded her forehead. "Look, I try to keep my cool. I understand where they're coming from, I really do, they've got valid reasons to hate anyone who's even ex-ADVENT. But after a while I just get so fucking tired of it! Excuse my language and all, if you will." Eliza squeezed her eyes shut. "I, legitimately, had havens pull support over that. Then ADVENT showed up and they had the audacity to cry for help. Of course I went! But the minute ADVENT were out, they wanted me out too." She let her arm fall. "I get... so close. So close, some days, to absolutely snapping. Trust me, I have figured out I am a kind and caring person by nature, but everyone has their limits!"

Jax spread out his palms. "Only natural, Commander. There will be those ungrateful in the face of your assistance. But, think—your continued insistence on helping these havens gives less for ADVENT to work with—and the havens themselves, in the end. There will be those who will see your repeated acts of selflessness and use it to justify your character, who will use it to soften the blow, in their minds, when you make decisions that are questionable to them. You are very much doing the right thing." He grinned mischievously. "It does not make them any less of bastards, of course."

Even if "bastards" was a less vulgar swear than most and could be used in an official capacity, hearing a curse out of Jax's mouth was so inherently hilarious that Eliza cracked up, holding her forehead as she laughed. "—jesus, Jax, give me a warning the next time you do that!"

He, himself, couldn't stop from chuckling in response. "My apologies, Eliza. I figured it would lighten your mood."

"It certainly did that!" Eliza calmed down from her laughter, left with a smile on her face. "I'll just keep comforting myself with the knowledge that I'm coming out karmically justified and that, at the end of this war, I will be fully obliged to take a goddamn break."

"Indeed. I can only imagine Mordenna would be more than happy to take over for you for a while." Jax rested a hand on his leg. "... imagining a life free of having to strike out against ADVENT is interesting, but I am certainly not against it. Rebuilding society would be the next task, I would say, but that should not be up to you."

"Oh god, yeah. I'll get the aliens out, everyone else can re-establish whatever the hell they want. I am not being held to those kinds of mistakes." Eliza practically flopped back on her chair. "I will park this goddamn ship next to a beach, have the Tailor Twins make me a swimsuit and I am spending at least a month knocking back blue lagoons. You guys are invited. Hell, everyone is. Beach month."

"I would have to see about a swimsuit then..." For some reason, Jax cleared his throat, looking to the side. "And I would be happy to attend. Still, anything else to declare?"

"Oh I have shit for days, Jax." She pointed at him. "Misogyny is alive and well. There is a reason I am content to let people think Bradford is the Commander of XCOM. They catch a single clipping of my voice addressing them after Bradford does and suddenly everyone's questioning the veracity and competence of XCOM. It makes me want to pull my hair out, but I do enough of that when I brush it. I've had haven leaders ask me if I'm Bradford secretary. What the fuck kind of Commander has a secretary?!"

Jax could only shake his head, face pinched in mild disgust. "The disrespect. It should matter not who you are if you're humanity's hope of driving off their conquerors. So long as you are competent, and you have very much proven yourself so."

"And yet there's people who seem like they're all too keen to make excuses for ADVENT—in the resistance, no less." She held her hands out to her sides. "There's some fuckers out there bound determined to think that ADVENT's just losing their touch twenty years in and that's the only reason I'm winning. Fuck, if I could trust them with so much as a squad I'd like to suggest that they lead XCOM for a week, see where that gets them."

"There will be karmic retribution for them one day, Commander. You will live to see that day—or at least live to enjoy a month on the beach, smugly thinking of all the times they insisted you would fail."

Eliza gave another tired smile, looking Jax in the eye. "And that's the kind of stuff that keeps me going in the end. Keeps me smiling, keeps me civil. One day, I'll be the one to sit back and doubt everyone else because I damn well earned it." She sighed, crossing her arms. "... damn it does feel good to vent. You really don't mind me going off like this?"

"It's interesting to see this side of you, Eliza," he replied, "and it does me good to know that it is helping you unwind. Also, it's amusing."

She chuckled. "Well, that makes me feel even better. Think I've got another complaint coming around..."

As she went on her next tangent, Eliza had to muse on the fact that it wasn't a lie she just told. She definitely was still slightly worried about easing into a more annoyed side of her, but if Jax found it funny to listen to? Hell, she'd amuse him all day. Mordenna would probably get a kick out of it as well, and that one time she vented to Fal-Mai, she seemed happy to let the Commander get things off of her chest. Bradford could be included in that mix—and he'd definitely empathize.

Well, if Eliza could shittalk about the people who annoyed her with her friends, that was just fine by her.